Fully Paid

Journey becomes light
When promise is fully paid.
The breeze flows sweetly.

——

beautifully ready for melukat this morning to clean and clarify my life intension and for my dearest nephew ♥️ now his wish for melukat is fully paid — live happily in the other side, my dear 💕 and I have a good feeling that my life is on the right path with my heart losing no love

melukat in Tirtha Empul when it was still quiet this morning — no, I don’t like crowd 🙏🏼 don’t bring me to noisy parties!

Performance

Life is a grand stage,
Performance is its main course,
I am dining out.

——

I am supposed to be in Ubud with my nephew who happened to pass away on Jul 30. So I do all the planned itinerary alone to keep my promise and to make him smile in heaven.

For you, Vito the fun witty kind artistic boy!

💕

a bridge over a lotus garden heading to Puri Saraswati Temple front yard where Janger Dance with Arjuna Tapa as part of performance is on every evening

lucky this evening I am sitting in a seat right in the middle of the front row — feeling lucky and blessed

start!

Arjuna in his meditation apparel (white)

buta, one of some seducers while Arjuna is meditating

the end

The Love & The Logic

This love is as strong as the glue
A snail can spit on an aloe vera
To cling even in a hottest day.
Your logic is as cold as the air
A morning can loosen nature’s desire
In a split second love will go away.

This love is unrequited,
That logic always wins.
Our bond is thinly formatted
As hair splitting to twins.

It is just a dream,
Though dream of a meadow.
It is truly a wish,
Yet wish of a shadow.

Love will open a bundle of joy.
Logic will open a bundle of satisfaction.

They are happy differently.

Understood—

——

reminding me of how strong love can bond a heart to a dream that won’t come true ♥️

dear heart, release…. the logic will never let you win 🙏🏼

Slow

World will not tell her
How to slow. It just moves on
And counts each moment.

——

back to back trips, luggage is all packed — 2 weeks then 1 week then 2 days

am I always ready to go? physically yes, but my soul still wants to linger in this plane

💕

Picked

Pick ones, Beloved
That this heart has been singing,
Soul is caressing.
Give gifts to those genuine:
Not those clean— those to self true.

——

i won’t make others pick for me even my fave bookstore 🙂

card decks for my friend in Ubud

some friends are religious and reading, so books are gift for them

got one for my birthday 👀🥹

Luxury

Luxury, my love
Makes your stars blink but not glow.
Show your true colours.

——

“The Devil Wears Prada” is one of 97 purchased movie in my cloud because I would watch those movies again and again and again either because of loving them or not quite understanding them with one play. This movie was based on a novel with the same title.

Watching “The Devil Wears Prada” for more than 4 times doesn’t bore me, not because I like fashion (I like clothes but not that fashion fashion) but because I like the story — Andrea ‘Andy’ Sachs (main character, protagonist) the humble smart who was derailed from her nature as shaped through her work performance demanded by her boss Miranda Priestly finally found her “way home”.

This movie was released in 2006. I watched it in the same year for the first time then bought it from Apple Store in 2017 the until now rewatch it when I want.

This is a movie that has made me stopped buying bags and watches that were not really needed. Pile of bags didn’t make me happier; luckily I don’t have to look fashionable at work so leaving the impressive bags at home never makes me and my work go less. Queue of watches are not necessary anymore with my beloved Apple Watch.

Another thing that this movie has taught me is to be true to myself even if others are not. It is not easy as there are human beings living around me who have been nurtured in environments where competition is sharp or where winning is the only choice to live or where listening is not to understand but to answer, where genuineness is not paramount — yet it is not that challenging to be true for me as most of those around me also try their best to behave ethically.

In the movie Andy was at the brink of identity crisis when she realised than being successful is not only about sitting on a pedestal that is looked up by many or about ruling a territory; being successful can be sitting among the tribe and working hand in hand on the ground to achieve team’s goal or getting recognition as ethical although not popular or learning to be honest to self everyday with failure and achievements. In other words it is not only a gain outside like promotion, bonus, recognition and the like; but it is also an internal cultivation of getting more mature, clarified, self acceptance, relationship and the like.

Thank you, “The Devil Wears Prada”. Because of you I dug further what brands are truly sustainable based on environment and labor protection and what are putting sustainability as mannequin in display.

A lot more in this movie tells me to realise that “brands and luxurious life don’t define who I truly am”.

So am I still buying those with (prominent) brands (that I can conveniently afford to but)? Yes, but only those truly walking what they are talking and they are mostly not the highest end. Very very few and very very occasional. Unfortunate for them yet fortunate for me—

Some other time I probably want to write about a few.

Salaam.

💕

watched it again just now

Carang Gesing (Javanese Food)

Cooking is a sweet distraction from a busy mind. To me

💕

About CARANG GESING

cooking is a sweet distraction; and this is sweeeeeet!!!

done!

steam for 30’

5

4

3

2

1

my tweak for carang gesing — sago pearl

i didn’t use egg

Half and Half


Do you know,
Beloved…?
In the middle of a water
Tossing wildly a Land
Stretching like a tail,
Tinted with merry tiny blossoms
Willing to smile
In May summed up are they.
Bearing light fragrance
Infusing air elegantly
For you, only for you—


Do you also know,
Beloved…?
I lullaby some seeds
That wake up lazily,
Stretch to the sky
Then sprinkle perfumes
With thousands of flowers
In the 9th month
Being warm and fuzzy
In the other half
For you, only for you—

For you
Whether to take
Or to give up.
There is no heaviness in a no.
There is no lightness in a yes.
There is pain in silence.
Yet life is so rich,
There is always cure
For any wound.
Let poems sing heart songs
For you, only for you.

——

Shape of Heart

Sprinkles of petalS
Sway from the sky gracefully
Calling name of yours.

——

genji pie that shapes like heart or rose petal or whatever beautifully seen by eyes

genji pie, aside from the shape the taste is also good to me

genji pie has inspired me to love

About genji pie

Multiply

Multiplied and blessed
Is numbers nature has sent
To a heart that smiles.

——

flying back from Narita

flying out from Changi

i believe that whatever shared is multiplied — at least those who enjoy it are multiplied

keep multiplying and blessing!

♥️

Pilgrimage

This life’s pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.

——

a mosque in Tokyo — Tokyo Jamii (Camii)

entrance — assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii

mosque area – 2nd floor

i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it

the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines

a feeling of home 💕

then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking — she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me 😁 thank you 💕

time to fly home — thank you, Tokyo 💕

you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars

My Heart Is

They have said 
I am lost.

What I see…
I am in a forest away
From comfort of thought.
I am not in a castle
In which mind is blunted.
My heart finds home
In which 25 prophets
And 1000 saints
Have found the paths.

It is a way
That all Prophets and Saints bless.

I am home
With the flow
That brings petals
To where fragrance blends
With clarity of fluids,
Various fluids
Gliding to a vast ocean
Of love.

——

i don’t care anymore what i am called by them — Muslim? Alhamdulillah, Sufi? Subhanallah, Buddhist? Masya Allah

what i am sure of is that my sutra is sutra of love with which all prophets and saints have travelled, whatever religions they have been associated with

thank you

💕

Waves of Clouds

Waves of clouds, my love
Swim from morning to night shore
Telling me to dance
Sprinkling bright petals of life
To hearts who lost hope to move.

——

some food help wipe clouds from the mind

Two

There are two gateways
To enter one gallery
Full of works of art.

——

my left side of face is sadder, bitter and negative with which i’ve been made more and more accepting to unwelcoming sides of life 💕

my right is happier, sweeter and optimistic that has persuaded me to be more and more letting go of what is not working after some good deed 💕

whatever unpleasant and pleasant things others say about me, i feel complete with some gap that might not need to be bridged simply to show that imperfection is a perfect gift in life 💕

Note: the picture at the bottom is batik scarf designed by Dudung Aliesyahbana, a batik maestro from Pekalongan, Central Java

To Those I Love

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour spent together
Lives within my heart

And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
And when was happy so was I
When she loved me

Through the summer and the fall
We had each other that was all
Just she and I together
Like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me

So the years went by
I stayed the same
But she began to drift away
I was left alone
Still I waited for the day
When she'd say I will always love you

Lonely and forgotten
Never thought she'd look my way
And she smiled at me and held me
Just like she use to do
Like she loved me
When she loved me

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour spent together
Lives within my heart
When she loved me

I thank you, God for giving me courage to express my love and affection to those I love. I will not regret.

💕

Fragrant Respect and Sweet Love for You

I love you
And I respect you
Fragrantly.

I’ve missed you
More and more
Since I didn’t open windows
Anymore.

This heart though is open
Like pores of petals
Evaporating fragrance
In a warm September.

Be happy, Beloved
As you deserve to.
Whereas this scent
Will keep leaping stone to stone.

Your face pops out
In this head every second
Like brilliant dew drops
In a shy May.

I respect you
And I love you
Sweetly.

——

enough sweet and fragrant for snacking for 5 days in Tokyo

Hatred Was Love

Hatred, Beloved
Never a choice; it is love—
Once got hurt then lost.

(haiku at lunch break)

——

osho, the king in shogi (Japanese chess)

About shogi the Japanese chess

Land

A pair of strong wings
Bring me to a land of thoughts
Where hope shines the light.

——

landed home after burying hope to grow with flowers and spreading love with billowing incense smoke

Lovely

You’re lovely
Like the songs in my heart.
Unluckily
You belong to another heart.
Verily
You’d thrown me to a new start.
Luckily
You didn’t break my hope apart.
Hopefully
My life again to bloom.
Undoubtedly
You feel ease in the room.

Life is rich and enriches,
Full of sad and happy surprises.

——

one of my good friends is a handicrafter; this bag was just completed 2 days ago and delivered yesterday

my mother said “lovely”

“do you want it?”, said i

“is that ok if i take it?” she said

“why not, Ina can make a new one for me” said i.

i am happy to make my mother happy with a happy (unintentional) surprise 💕

Mosquito

Mosquito’s buzzing,
Scarier than it’s biting
Ears though can’t complain.

——

when i said to my friends that i wanted this, they chorused high toned answer “no, it is not Japan, with this type of water garden, you’ll be mosquitos’ daily party here!” 😁