Tag: haiku

You're good, Beloved--
Very. Would you treat me well?
To be verified--

it’s not how good you are, it’s about how well you treat me

i met two good friends who are colleagues — our topic is always flourishing like flower in summer

one of them always reminds me with this sentence “don’t trust people easily, everybody is good but choose that that treats you well”

the other is always the one accurately analysing whatever happens to me; her analysis is never wrong so far — today she said to me “don’t believe a man who kisses you, believe him who holds your hands”

see you again, ladies❣️

Stuffy

Stuffy, Beloved
It's airless and no laughter.
Go out for breathing.

tada!!! tofu-stuffed squid for today 😍

tofu, carrot, spring onion

squid — now I know why it should be big squid, the small will be difficult to be stuffed

Rhombusly Flying Kite (ranting)

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person

Five dots of a shape
Balance the soar, fly and land.
A flying rhombus--

I listened to a rebroadcast of #DVETSiaranPagi last evening and thought the discussion points are relevant with what I’ve seen around me: the love bombing, ghosting then missing, not true to self, etc. Thanks for discussing it! I’d like to reflect about myself on those. 💕

about (my falling in) love

Through time love in human being is still the same, a sprectrum of certain emotion quality expression that expands to different extremes, either one or the other extreme or both extremes in order to serve one’s own life and others’. One extreme is the lust-loaded love that imprisons and the other is compassion-loaded love that saves the world and true love as a balanced combination of both that liberates. (my personal opinion based on what I’ve learnt, unlearnt, relearnt — can be inaccurate and impermanent)

Expansion of service and love expression can be within or without the person depending on how the human being experiences life and responds to it. Some human beings build a unit of society (family, organization, community, village, etc) to feel the expansion of service, others don’t. Some can be expressive in love, some just hide emotion deep down. No right or wrong, it is a process of balancing horizontally and vertically –like flying a kite– that might be successful in here now or not.

In my age (late 40’s) if I am found out of falling in love (romantically) in my country, I can be cursed as “wanita gatal” (itchy woman) even if I don’t do any harm to others with my love. In fact what happens is simply an expansion of love — from loving myself to loving myself and another person. Lucky I live in a country where people don’t care about what’s not harming them. Thank you!

Romantic love very seldom perches on my emotion tree yet once it comes, it will not be something I will stop. I will just wisely manage the emotion as I never want to disturb the person I love especially when seeing there is no reciprocity and/or compatibility between us, hoping that this emotion fades away slowly gradually with as little harm as possible. Broken hearted is not nice. 🙃

I will show him from certain distance how I feel about him but I will make sure it won’t make him feel threatened. Yet who can control his reaction or response? This is where I am different from my passive friends on romance.

about love bombing

It is a new terminology for me yet I know very well that I experienced it in my relationship (the only one I had, ended in 2010): given all attention and gifts, promised with sugar-coated lies, got ghosted then left in despair. Oh, never again….

about love expression

I love poems and I love my Beloved, the only One most understanding me, the only One never leaving me in any situation and the One putting much love and compassion in my heart.

My mental body feels like a rhombus kite with 5 dots: the dot on top is my soul, the dots at the right and left are my thinking function and my feeling function, the dot at the bottom is my desire towards physical pleasure whatever it is (food, drink, jewelry, sex drive, etc) and the dot in the middle is my heart which is the balancing gravity of the 4 dots at the 4 points of rhombus (qolbu in Arabic). Only when all those 5 dots are interacting in balance then this rhombus kite can fly, soaring perfectly, riding the wind; that is when a human being is in a state of mindfullness or meditative. Rhombusly flying kite❣️

With my poem I will express all the love from those 5 dots. Sometimes I talk from the dot at the top. Sometimes from the dot at the bottom. Sometimes from 2 dots, 3 dots, 4 dots; and when I am aware of the true self, my poems are the love expression of my 5 dots.

People might think it is an exaggeration of love expression; many of my friends reading my poems said “kamu kasmaran nggak henti-henti ya, Rike?” translated into “are you constantly madly in love, Rike?” and that was why I hide the comment section so no one will have a chance to spit bad words about my love poems. Only some who know my journey will really understand. It doesn’t matter.

I saw love bombing although not as often; am I? I am showering my life and life surrounding me with love and compassion; and I am grateful for that. That some of the expression is aiming at someone (who eventually can feel it), I’m thankful and saying “You are safe, I am not love bombing you, this is a tiny love that I can offer.”

Without mentioning my crush name, I discussed my feeling with my best friend who unsurprisingly didn’t judge me yet she said “I restrict myself from loving a man, I don’t want to think about romance, I just want to retire happily” 😂 I didn’t continue the discussion as I never want to shake her feeling of security of being single.

Will I continue my love expression? With no doubt: yes, it is about being true to myself until time decides otherwise. If I don’t look true to others, so be it.

I won’t waste my time hating or worrying about being hated. I don’t either believe with “too much love will kill you”; it is too much lust that kills you.

My love flows like a river, (over)flows to the sea to unite with

You. Insya Allah.

about true to self

I express love more smoothly but when it comes to job, I don’t openly talk about it in social media or public because it contains NDA. Job to me is a dedication in life, in which I feel that my life is meaningful for and well utilised by the human beings in my walk of life. My job is about being true to my own self and true to the contract that I’ve signed. 💕

Dear Love,

I rest my case for now. I have to work.

Salaam.

Haunted

Learning, Map It!

What is haunted, Love?
A heart full with prejudice,
Busy with judgement--

last May i had a biz trip to Bangkok and stayed in my preferred hotel next to Erawan Shrine – around 2 weeks ago 6 people were murdered on the 5th floor of that hotel, poisoned

my colleagues said yesterday “Rike, stay in my preferred hotel, yours is haunted now!” as if they would get bonus for bringing me in 😂

haunted is a scary word, as scary as a heart who cannot sing sweet songs

Forgiven

Learning, love, This Person

And you're, Beloved
Forgiven in every breath.
This soul is well fed.

well fed soul sees paradox as blessings rather than curses

Forgiving

Forgive, Beloved
This self questioning one's self
About where to go.

i’m headin’ 2 U

Forgiveness

Forgive me, dear love
For taking so long a time
To forgive you. You?

watching this video, i remember my mother said that it took so much forgiving and compromising between her and her husband

when i asked what biggest forgiveness each of them had given to each other, she said “many, i can’t summarise”

but she reminded me of one ridiculous thing happening to her hair

there was a traumatic incident between our parents that we will never forget; my mother doesn’t mind anymore sharing it with many — she said it was stupid act by both of them and others should not experience the same thing

once my father could not well control his anger and did something beyond imagination in front of his children; he shaved my mother’s hair bald just because of jealousy; for the next several months my mother had to wear wig to work and social functions until her hair grew back up to certain length — she said if she could explain more elaborately and he would listen more patiently, it would not have happened

when we all got older, we liked jokingly mentioning that incident to our parents, Bapak would smirk and explain that it was a misunderstanding; Ibu would only say “love is blind and sometimes idiot” then both of them laughed 😝

now she would always advise us to know when we are angry and take some minutes to breathe before taking unnecessary action

she told me that my father could tolerate things except when it came to men; he could be irresponsibly and unreasonably jealous to men talking in friendly manner with my mother

i asked again who apologised more and who forgave more?

she said it was always easy to forgive him as he would do his very best to fix issues but she also said that she would make it difficult for him to apologise – alamak

when i asked her why she did so, she said that she wanted to always win 😂

today i called my mother and asked what she feels when she remembers that handsome kind man, she said “I should have been kinder and made it easier….”

so sweet!

“….but he should have said the same thing about me”

eh?

Start Each Morning (ranting)

Learning, Poetic, Those People

Start each morning, Love
With ready ears to listen,
Heart blessed with shared joy--

DVET Siaran Pagi in TikTok

one sample of rebroadcast that i randomly watched 🌶️

I feel like talking about my excitement that makes my morning brighter. There is a morning show (in Indonesian only) in TikTok labeled DVET Siaran Pagi.

There are two announcers in the morning show. And they have made my days with the show although I mostly watch its rebroadcast through YouTube in the evening; I can listen to them live when commuting or when working from remote and no meeting starts early.

I started listening to this show in early July through YouTube as a random algorithm result (justpopped up like that) while the show has been there since 2023, so I kind of not know what topics have been covered before. Yet it doesn’t matter, I don’t need to flash back to enjoy their hilarious friendly talk.

What topics so attract me?

Any random topic in life. It is just like when radio show was happening (when I was young — gosh!) the announcers talked about anything s/he liked or experienced or breaking news in town/country (sometimes alone, sometimes more than one announcer at the same time) and played some song playlist that was planned or sometimes requested by the listeners.

These two announcers in the DVET Siaran Pagi act like they are video calling and talking about their day like two friends — you can hear laughter, slangs, swearing. Simply like we are eavesdropping on two friends. 😝

Anyway I think they are truly friends in life.

Who are they?

One streamer is Dave Hendrik, a previously radio announcer is now a prominent MC in Indonesia — his name has been one of very few celebs that I adored because of his originality and confidence.

When sexual orientation or identity was still a rare topic to touch, he was already himself — even as a straight I respect his openness as he is not the one forcing others to follow his choice.

I also love how he treats his niece and nephew (at least that’s what I see in his Instagram) actually he’s inspired me to do the same thing to mine — thank you, Dave.

The way Dave expresses himself is sometimes “random” that I have no choice but laughing or exclaiming “what?!” or “huhhh?!” While talking smart he can suddenly produce wrong pronunciation, wrong naming, slip of the tongues and the like. Hilarious!

Wishing Dave a good life for making my days. If I meet him in Jakarta someday, I will give him a bar of Toblerone. ☺️

The other announcer is Iwet Ramadhan. He was also a radio announcer back then; he is now a business leader.

Among his works that I know his batik documentaries in YouTube should have been one biggest contribution to Indonesia culture & that he has a batik-based business to support “mothers working at home” in Jakarta has made him a decent man to respect. I hope he continues the culture-based activities and gets bigger success. 😍

I so much like him 💕 for his intelligence, laughter and a vibe that I can’t explain (maybe maturity and confidence?) — and so he becomes special to me. Not surprising: a male celeb must have many female eyes on him.

There is one song he mentioned (Daur Hidup by Donne Maula) and now it becomes my cooking or gardening soundtrack. Thank you!

Wishing him a good life, too and….

…. If meeting him in person in Singapore someday, I will treat him ice cream as much as he likes in Orchard Road 😂💕

note #1: both of them once were hosts of gossip shows that I didn’t enjoy 🙃 They’ve changed the way they discuss things – quite objective and balanced at least in the show 😁 Salute to you, both!

note #2: I created TikTok account only to watch this show

note #3: in this era human beings do not have to meet in person to support each other; just do something online and here you go!

Garden

Garden's, Beloved
Where seasons play with the sun,
Weathers with the shade.

Japanese garden layout in Winsor & Newton water colour

i’ve always wanted a Japanese garden in one spot of my yard

i contacted one Japan contractor but they offerred USD8,000 just for the design for 11*2 size

i politely refused the offer and decided to work on the design by myself and transferred the USD8,000 to my own bank account 😁

now it is ready to execute; i’ll be working with a garden contractor to complete this task; i’ve also found moss and grain loval sources – see you in 3 months, dear Jogja

layout of behind study, near maintenance entrance — yellow bamboo bush will sing when the wind blows

layout of in front of bedroom — no grass, just moss, grain, a few boulders and shrub of hosta; the engawa is a perfect seat to contemplate either at dusk or dawn

after some time of hibernating

Choice of Words

Choice of words are leaves
Falling, dancing by contexts.
Seasons of meanings--

this is one of beautiful books i’ve ever read

need to re-read as after reading both there is different impression and insight i got from those two versions of translation

translation is not merely choice of words, it contains the context where the translators’ mind has been built — context can come from educational background, life experience incl trauma, ideology, etc even up to the translators’ independency towards certain topics

translation is not an accurate tool to transfer knowledge yet it is the best option for learners who need to learn something from different culture through books while they don’t master the language

but too much interference of translators’ contexts will make the translation an interpretation which will unnecessarily pollute the learners’ thinking process

the best option for independent learners is learning the language — i wish i could….

today is about books and paper — reading and throwing away all unnecessary paper

Welcome

Welcome, Beloved
To a home in a quiet house
Where heart sings sweetly.

i trained myself rigorously today: no distraction 🤩

and then….

kitchen is always a good welcome home — let me boast my best oxtail soup aka sop buntut sapi and almost frozen pomegranate aka delima & osmanthus pudding 💕

Pride

What's pride, Beloved?
That that kills genuineness,
Disguises distress--

my favourite cat on my favourite logo that can confuse me between pride and self esteem

Gathered

It is harvest time
After years of nurturing.
Fruits are gathered now.

today’s gathering with uni circle was a sweet bunch of chat

thank you and….

….see you again, sweet pears!

flying home soon 💕

Details

Learning, Map It!, Poetic

Sharp eyes take a rest
Just for a click before sleep.
Resting from details--

doing VIP again which is so close with the stage in which spectators see what the tribune folks are curious about; almost like how my job is done: meticulous, detailed, focus-based, forcing, defining violation, root cause analysis, corrective action, management system, emotionless and in some way cruel — loved by my employer, hated by those not committed 🤠

ignoring details is almost like catching eel with hand covered with coconut oil

finding chaos among harmony is almost a curse to me; now i am pulling back my expertise to find harmony among chaos — outside my job

on the way. yosh!

to my colleagues reading this in silence you know how i love this job 🤠 頑張ってね❣️

this is the closest i can be with my favourite singer whose songs were memorised by me and childhood friends like we memorised our own landline number by then

すごい❣️

Noe Clerc Trio from France — the accordion made it so much unique

other than Ring of Fire this duo is another permanent “performer”, the ones who warm the stage not less than the artists — they’re artists, too with their typical Jogjakartan jokes

see you again, syuuu!

Kuntari – amazingly incredible! i could not resist their beats that resemble Sumatran music; one nephew could not stop rocking our bench following the tempo

my God, this is my fave among those i took by myself — the hues and the moon are like magic

two of 4 founders (Pak Sigit, Mas Butet), advisors (Pak Andy, Mas Iko), the duo

🤍

I didn’t take picture of Gigi Jazz Project performing, pre-occupied with the vibe to sing along and laugh at myself due to the lyrics! 😂😍💕

a different Gigi i’ve ever experienced

this was type of source of heat for all of us — thank you, dear fire

if time allows, i’ll see you again next year, dear Bromo nature — you are amazing

Heavy

How heavy is jar?
As heavy as what is forced,
Light as what is poured--

RC Gorman’s work of art

today i learnt that one typical problem can be heavy or light for the same person in different situations; or for different people at the same situation — it is always about how we carry the life

dear self, do you force it or do you let it flow?

A Knight Who Shoots

Who's a knight who shoots?
Archer who knows the bull's eye
And bow and arrow--

Satria manah (satrio manah) is a Javanese phrase formed by two words:

1. Satria or satrio that means a knight,

2. Manah that is derived from the word panah (archery in Javanese). Panah (Noun) is changed to manah (Verb)

As name of batik pattern should be incorporated with wisdom, the interpretation can be built with some exaggeration or maybe slightly drammatical structure. And so, satria manah is not simply a knight who shoots anything but it is intrepreted as a knight who shoots accurately at the heart of a lady.

Life of a wise can be as light as shooting a heart; yet as hard as shooting at the right spot so that it won’t hurt the heart; it even will make the lady fall in love harder with the knight.

Is that even possible?

I don’t know. Not a knight, am not a wise knight. A lady, am the lady whose heart should be shot by a wise knight. 😁

Another fun fact this batik is usually worn by the groom-to-be’s parents when they are officially proposing the bride-to-be in front of her family. The groom-to-be may also wear this batik when he is with his parents during the marriage proposal. Unofficially? the man can propose the woman personally before introducing to each other’s family.

What batik should be worn by the bride-to-be in the marriage proposal? It is batik semen rante. What is that? I will talk about it next year when the semen rante is ready to ship to me by Mbak Izzah. ☺️

This batik has given me a light heart and a good laugh after a long day.

Have a good weekend!

the batik that is ready for delivery

close up of batik Satria Manah

Morning

Morning brings me heart
Newly dipped in coloured hopes
To welcome new days.

maroon heliconia

yellow heliconia

the sun showing his radiance

Written

Learning, life, This Person

This life is written
Along a ribbon coiling
Around a live book.

weekend is to read what’s written as weekdays is to write what’s read

i’m a book with cover, title, table of content, chapters, and an end; and i’m craving to know about its precious author among all readers

Lovers

Learning, love

There's no place for you
But when I dream. Where are you
When I'm up, my love?

Your Face

Your face that I keep
Won't grow old. This heart preserves
Everything that's loved.

my face has been all over my iPhone’s face for the past 4 years – can’t get over my COVID era face ❣️

I Love

A song is flowing,
Pushing in rhythms and rhymes
To a realm of love.

love to listen to this 24/7

Destined

All roads are destined
To an end where wish comes true
Or breath takes a rest.

not destined to be a drinker — i didn’t even enjoy the 0%

destined to embrace beautiful flowers ❣️

Last Train

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person

I won't miss the train.
The last. A home is waiting
With a cup of tea.

i saw this scene very often from my room; last midnight was the most impressive when i felt so much love living as me with no one but me ❣️

You Are Beautiful

You are beautiful
Because this heart has the eyes
Of a butterfly.

Two

There is birth and death
And love in between those two.
Continuous life—

RC Gorman’s work of art

How Fragrant Are You?

How fragrant are you
Through the petals sweetly picked
By fragile fingers?

I love perfume especially when at home.

Some facts of how certain oils as part of perfume ingredients are harvested shake my liking to perfumery. If I buy those perfumes, am I abusing certain group of people? If I don’t buy, am I letting them unemployed?

Life is sometimes as simple as abc– Yet life is sometimes as complex as ancient codes to decipher.

Time to concoct my own perfume from responsibly-sourced oils?

Fresh Air

Fresh air, Beloved,
Welcomes sweetly through a move.
Strong or weak, enjoy.

it was fresh at the same time eery — i felt a strong blow of fresh air at my left hand last night between sleep and awake; so sure it was not my breathing as I know well how I breathe

new place welcomes visitors differently like the grass greeted me sweetly this morning

thank you for the welcome; I am a guest, not an agressor 🙏🏼

New Is Old After Said