I Am A Lady – haiku

I am a lady,
Was born and grown in Java,
Will travel the globe.

Singapore – Feb. 11, 2020 / 19:45

I feel more and more feminine and I like it. I’m comfortable to be a woman although being a woman is not always easy in my original culture, Javanese. I am not a typical Javanese who are shy, withdrawal and submissive to the male and yes-yes-yes whether liking it or not. I will be in those mode in some situations but I don’t feel them as my nature. All those traits shall be presented as a response to a situation, not as a nature.

Once one very mean aunt said to me in a very sharp tone “You are not a Javanese lady yet, my child! Learn. No man will want to marry you if you are brave, confident and vocal.”

I didn’t say anything because I was just 12 at that time. I didn’t even know what was Javanese lady and marriage. What I knew was I played with girls and boys together.

She sounded cruel but she was right that no man has married me until now. She would say (if she happened to be alive today) to me it is because of my failure to be a Javanese lady; but if she were still alive, I would tell her politely that it may be because the men approaching me just failed to be a true gentlemen. I will not change myself into the Javanese lady characteristic that has been in a biased assumption in my community and family.

I never doubt myself to be what I am now – I might change but to better state. Moreover, I found a good reading that describes a Javanese woman in the eyes of a modern Javanese woman. It might not resonate 100% of what I consider a woman be but at least the way the writer positions herself helps me understand why I never fitted the boxes brought to me before.

What an enlightenment!

Thank you Google for bringing me to Staying True As A Javanese Woman

….. and maybe this too if you wonder how an ideal Javanese woman should be in different perspective: Ideal Javanese Woman???.

Life is full of magic and I’ve always found the magic to be a female from my beautiful archipelago.

May all beings be happy.

Salam….

Screenshot 2020-02-11 at 8.00.36 PM

My Love Is Forever Growing

I am almost 40 years old. So happy, without reason — age is not a reason to be happy. I just accept the way I am growing old, physically and mentally.

I was born in a family of seven. My late father, a wise simple man. My mother, the beautiful Javanese woman who is nurtured by this grand nature to be a super patient lady. Two brothers and two sisters. We are seven in a package, with ups and downs and some knots in our journey of life. And, now I have one son called Bob (Robert de Niro is his full name), my dear cat I’ve adopted as a son several years ago.

One more grey cat – we named him Mr. Gray – sleeps every single day in our verandah; so, let’s call him another additional family member.

I can’t give something extraordinary to them except one. Love…

I have nothing that grows forever, everlasting and without limit except love. I send it to my family members every single second with or without realising it.

All my family is in Indonesia. I am in a small country, Singapore. Not really far but less accessible sometimes.

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When missing my family, I just open their pictures and send them my positive vibration. Or, I close my eyes, imagine their faces and send my energy to them.

It is a cloudy day, my love is still growing…. I am sending positive energy from Singapore to Indonesia, to cover my family or even all people there so that they feel the love that grows forever.

I also send my love to my dear Bob that has been so much lovely in his presence and absence to my physical. I love you, cat…

Mr. Gray, my love is for you. Be still, there coiling your fattening body until a plate of meal is served to you… Of course you should be patient until Bob is doing and you will have to have your meal together with him.

My love is also for all my neighbours, friends and all animals there… Be happy. I hope things go right… All violence is eradicated. You are living in happiness and peace…

To the world, earth and all the creatures in it… My love is growing forever for me and you… for us…

This love is precious. Never go away….

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Singapore, February 8, 2014 – 5:11pm