Loving Like Loving A Song

I want to love you
Like loving a song. It's free,
Everyone’s happy
Without jealousy, they sing
In joy.... While you’re still mine, Love—

What a luxury to love someone who’s been the favorite of many…. Sharing joy in silence….

Like this humble song from me to you…. A Javanese love song whose meaning is deep and joyful; filled with prayer and admiration to the beloved – whoever the beloved is meant by the singer.

Music is a beautiful wire connecting the hearts….

Enjoy.

2020 and 2021

Language is alive
Even in silence. I guess
It’s ears who discount.
I don’t escape, Beloved.
Just my confidence collapsed....

Space is not distance,
It’s a knot between two hearts.
Imagine two words
Without space: cramped and crowded.
Just never disconnect, Love.

Year end is ready
To summarise lessons learnt
To hand happiness
Over to new one. Welcome,
Self, to realm of connection....

Singapore – Dec. 30, 2020 / 00:10

Prayer For Ancestors – ranting

I’ve been told to pray for the ancestors, overall those in the family tree who have been deceased. We will trace back from my late father to his parents to his parents’ parents, up above to the very first regardless traceable or not and trace back from my mother’s parents to her parents’ parents, up above to the very first regardless traceable or not.

In old Javanese tradition people will do the prayer for ancestors in a simple yet sacred ritual – while some people will go to the graveyard or monument to do it, many are doing it at home. No altar, put thing on your table and pray.

However, four components shall be thoughtfully prepared: the day, the prayer, the food, drink, and (sometimes) cigarettes, and the flowers. Each of those has meaning.

As a reminder, here is the meaning. Please don’t quote me as my knowledge is the result of my personal contemplation mixed with very limited knowledge that I read and hear from many sources.

Chosen Days
All days are good, all time is precious. We are the one giving them meaning by putting some more attention and creating the moment on particular days. So choosing the day is a decision to give meaning to particular time so that it becomes a beautiful moment that boost our mood to connect with our beloved and respected members “above”. The day you are born must be your favourite day.

People will do it at night; many choose to do it at Thursday night before Friday morning breaks, others choose to do it on the day they are born (Sunday to Saturday combined with one of the Javanese 5 days. which is Paing, Pon, Wage, Kliwon and Legi — so if you combine, it can be Thursday Kliwon, Tuesday Legi, etc which are astrologically calculated in a very complicated system. Don’t ask me further about Javanese astrology – I’m zero!

By the way, people traditionally do the ritual ancestor prayer once in 35-40 days or on special dates/occasions but nowadays most people do it twice in a year: around Ramadan and in Javanese new year (lunar calendar). Me? Don’t ask…. 😂

Prayers
To me chanted prayer is a set of (poetic and romantic) line to synchronise the emotions through all senses with the inner self by focusing on what are uttered or sung. Chanted prayer improves concentration. It helps achieve the oneness within self. So, make sure you understand what you are saying in the prayer. Otherwise, you become a talking parrot.

In Javanese old tradition people recite some “tembang” the Javanese songs which reflect wishes and philosophical thought. Young Javanese used to be taught how to sing those songs in elementary school but now that lesson has gone from the formal education and replaced by popular music lesson as a result of modern culture massively affecting and marginalising the local potential.

While Dhandhanggula verses are commonly chosen to be sung softly by those who are good enough to be heard by the wind and human beings — oh please excuse my out of tune; other Javanese songs (Mocopat) can be the alternatives. People can only use the tembang’s tones or tones and verses. There is no rigid rule for that.

Some others will use Quranic verses containing universal prayers — Javanese culture has been merged and amalgamated with many different religions (Hinduism, Buddhism and strongly with Islam) and so Quranic verses are inserted or substituting some items in the culture. Many will choose QS Yaasiin allegedly the “heart of Quran” or QS Arrahman that contains a lot of heavenly joy to reflect our prayers that all ancestors’ souls are living in heaven. Many people also use QS Alfatihah allegedly the “mother of the Book” or the “mother of Quran” which is much shorter than the other two.

Why Quran is used in many aspects of Javanese? There is a lot of synchronicity between Javanese thinking tradition (Kejawen) with the Islam spirituality (Sufi) and that has developed mutual functionality between those traditions.

If you live in Java island especially central to eastern part of the island for just a while (one week maybe), ou will shift understanding about the Islam which you might have perceived as a rigid teaching originated from Arab land. Islam in Java is different at an almost extreme level of characteristics from Arabian culture. No, no I don’t hate Arab or the “Arabian Islam”, I just don’t want people to wrongly think that all muslims are rigid and narrow minded just by some wrongly-defined teaching or hatred-based perception made by some irresponsible Orientalists. Please don’t judge my language. I don’t mean anything but “Islam isn’t like what you think it is, You should travel more to know more.” Ok, I rest my case.

The other group will just say nothing at all, their prayers are uttered silently in the secret language that can only be understood by those praying.

What do we pray for? We pray for the joy of ancestors’ soul — I myself like to whisper in English “Dear beloved and respected Ancestors, may you be living peacefully in the heart of green birds in heaven. May you be blessed with good sight of seeing us remembering and praying for you. May you be greeting us too when we realise that we exist after and through you.” Then we pray for our own selves — whatever good prayer we want to chant. What is good prayer? My goodness, any prayer for your happiness and success! 😊

Semar – a character in Javanese shadow puppet whose prayer is always “thank you” for all given by Life. Many Javanese idolise him for his humble yet respected life.

Preparation of Drink and Food
If you know ancestors’ favourite drink and food, prepare them. If not, take your most favourite and remember to always prepare the best ones.

I never know what my ancestors’ favourite food but I know my father loved “kue lapis” – that with layers of coloured rice cake. So kue lapis is always there accompanied by others.

And the beverage is always kopi tubruk and teh tubruk because those two types are the favourite of all in Javanese tradition. Kopi tubruk is plain brewed ground coffee – we don’t filter it, no strainer no no, some people let the coffee powder settle at the bottom of the cup but some will drink the black black coffee with some coffee paste in it, and don’t forget sugar! Teh tubruk is the other one: you just throw dried tea leaves into a cup, pour boiled water, let the leaves drown down, then sip it up with or no sugar!

Cigarettes? I am sorry, dear Ancestors. Smoking isn’t healthy as cigarettes nowadays are made of those hazardous chemicals that will harm your health. So, please excuse this decision. 😁

Yummy! My mother said I am not supposed to eat it after the prayer, but I do….
Good “kopi tubruk” and “teh tubruk” for the beloved and respected ancestors

Flowers
What flowers are used? The key is always “what’s you ancestors’ favourite?” As I am not sure what my ancestors’ favourite flowers, I just refer to what flowers are commonly used in the tradition. Jasmine, rose, ylangylang and magnolia alba are the ones. As I could only find rose then rose it is! I plan to use sunflower, lily or orchid next time as they re my fave!

Why flower? Flower is always associated with fragrance. Fragrance symbolises the good deeds that were dedicated by our ancestors in their life time that will be eternally carved as a sacred key to connect with their bloodline. It also symbolises our good deeds to connect with ancestors. Only when we do our good deed and preserve ancestors’ good deeds, will we connect strongly with the powerful blessings from ancestors.

Being a modern human being should not stop me from remembering that I can only exist with “the good heart and help” of those up above the branches and trunk in a family tree. Hey, we might be a part of a giant family tree – Homo Sapiens whose ancestors are the same. So, next time I’ll probably pray for everyone’s ancestors.

May all beings be happy.

Temasek, Oct. 29, 2020 / 00:44

Messy Like Heaven – ranting

Messy like heaven.
After cooking I feel tired
Of all the dirty
Pots, plates, spoons, knives and rubbish.
Full without eating—


I am naturally a picky eater, but trying my best to eat every thing served as long as healthy and non poisonous. I even let myself eat those I’m allergic to – just to prove to this weak Self that this body can bear the poison though has failed now and then.

Today I cooked one traditional food from Java island of beautiful archipelago, my dear Indonesia – buntil.

It is stuffed cassava leaves wraps, you can also use papaya leaves. The content can be as cheap as grated young coconut only or added with anchovy or meat or any protein that you wish to have in the meal. This time I make a fusion – buntil stuffed with Korean stir fried anchovies with pumpkin seed and walnuts. The fusion is just because I could not find the seed that originally cooked in the Java island, we call it “petai Cina” (please use your freedom to find what it is in Google). I bought the Korean side dish coz I don’t know how to make it.

This is cheap and humble dish that is traditionally eaten as side dish with rice. But it has become a rare food where I live now – even people from Indonesia might not find it interesting anymore. Not sure why but alas! Everybody has one’s own liking. I’m so grateful that the cleaning lady knocked my door and brought some earth products that I’ve missed dearly – bamboo shoot, banana flower, cabai rawit and cassava leaves! So why not making food that I’ve missed so dearly, too.

I’m happy with the result, knowing that there are details of ingredients and still a good success. But the after cooking was not so happy seeing piles of dirty containers and cooking utensils that I had to wash by myself…. Heaven!

Anyway! Let’s see the happy scenes! Unhappy scenes of cleaning and tidying up the shelves and cabinets are off the records!

Welcome next good week!

May all beings be happy….

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Raw cassava leaves, just in case you never know what it is….

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Boil the cassava leaves with salt until they are soft enough to chew but not too soft to break themselves in your hands.

 

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Korean stir fried anchovies with pumpkin seeds and walnuts – it is sweet originally but I still seasoned it with the buntil seasoning….

 

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This is to tie up the wrap. If not tied, the wrap won’t be strong enough to hold the anchovies in and the leak of the anchovies with different seasoning from the one in the coconut milk will affect the final blend of the taste.

 

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Wrap it up!

 

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Put all the wraps into the pot…. They are happily waiting for some shower.

 

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Pour the seasoned coconut milk on to the wraps in the pot. And ready to boil….

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Cook until the coconut milk is reduced, absorbed by the wraps. Trust me, the taste is Heaven!

I Am A Lady – haiku

I am a lady,
Was born and grown in Java,
Will travel the globe.

Singapore – Feb. 11, 2020 / 19:45

I feel more and more feminine and I like it. I’m comfortable to be a woman although being a woman is not always easy in my original culture, Javanese. I am not a typical Javanese who are shy, withdrawal and submissive to the male and yes-yes-yes whether liking it or not. I will be in those mode in some situations but I don’t feel them as my nature. All those traits shall be presented as a response to a situation, not as a nature.

Once one very mean aunt said to me in a very sharp tone “You are not a Javanese lady yet, my child! Learn. No man will want to marry you if you are brave, confident and vocal.”

I didn’t say anything because I was just 12 at that time. I didn’t even know what was Javanese lady and marriage. What I knew was I played with girls and boys together.

She sounded cruel but she was right that no man has married me until now. She would say (if she happened to be alive today) to me it is because of my failure to be a Javanese lady; but if she were still alive, I would tell her politely that it may be because the men approaching me just failed to be a true gentlemen. I will not change myself into the Javanese lady characteristic that has been in a biased assumption in my community and family.

I never doubt myself to be what I am now – I might change but to better state. Moreover, I found a good reading that describes a Javanese woman in the eyes of a modern Javanese woman. It might not resonate 100% of what I consider a woman be but at least the way the writer positions herself helps me understand why I never fitted the boxes brought to me before.

What an enlightenment!

Thank you Google for bringing me to Staying True As A Javanese Woman

….. and maybe this too if you wonder how an ideal Javanese woman should be in different perspective: Ideal Javanese Woman???.

Life is full of magic and I’ve always found the magic to be a female from my beautiful archipelago.

May all beings be happy.

Salam….

Screenshot 2020-02-11 at 8.00.36 PM