I am a lady,
Was born and grown in Java,
Will travel the globe.
Singapore – Feb. 11, 2020 / 19:45
I feel more and more feminine and I like it. I’m comfortable to be a woman although being a woman is not always easy in my original culture, Javanese. I am not a typical Javanese who are shy, withdrawal and submissive to the male and yes-yes-yes whether liking it or not. I will be in those mode in some situations but I don’t feel them as my nature. All those traits shall be presented as a response to a situation, not as a nature.
Once one very mean aunt said to me in a very sharp tone “You are not a Javanese lady yet, my child! Learn. No man will want to marry you if you are brave, confident and vocal.”
I didn’t say anything because I was just 12 at that time. I didn’t even know what was Javanese lady and marriage. What I knew was I played with girls and boys together.
She sounded cruel but she was right that no man has married me until now. She would say (if she happened to be alive today) to me it is because of my failure to be a Javanese lady; but if she were still alive, I would tell her politely that it may be because the men approaching me just failed to be a true gentlemen. I will not change myself into the Javanese lady characteristic that has been in a biased assumption in my community and family.
I never doubt myself to be what I am now – I might change but to better state. Moreover, I found a good reading that describes a Javanese woman in the eyes of a modern Javanese woman. It might not resonate 100% of what I consider a woman be but at least the way the writer positions herself helps me understand why I never fitted the boxes brought to me before.
What an enlightenment!
….. and maybe this too if you wonder how an ideal Javanese woman should be in different perspective: Ideal Javanese Woman???.
Life is full of magic and I’ve always found the magic to be a female from my beautiful archipelago.
May all beings be happy.