I've asked myself all my life: Have you ever thought what this life is for? You're born. You die. You struggle. You cry. You suffer. You rant. You're full. You sleep. You're fulfilled. You forget. You're numb. You're silent.
If it's really You that this life is about, Am I really needed? Am I really wanted?
Yet the echoes of the quest go on. Your answers feel like algae converting light to feed my days with Hope that you embrace me, with Fear that it will end when I still owe you promises.
I can't answer it clearly until today.
It becomes like a love story In which falling in love is either inserted with broken-hearted acceptance or ended with broken hearted let-go.
That I live for You, because of You, in You, through You is a journey between a lover longing for the beloved who might care but care; who might love but hate, who might exist but not exist.
Have you ever thought what this life is for? I said yes and yes and yes to You, and for You.
Guidance
Amouge, Guidance – it’s about you guiding me to you
bought it when in Sydney
slided the box out of the outer cover
one of my best gift to myself – a scent that guides
A gift, Beloved Breeze bringing a good fragrance Keeping me with you.
I bought a box of gift for myself – perfume 💗
patchouli is one of my favourite fragrances, it is mostly harvested in Indonesia — there’s a documentary about how patchouli farmers are ‘exploited” for perfume industry
I’m cruelly aware that my liking to scent is making me part of the exploitation. What should I do?
How fragrant are you Through the petals sweetly picked By fragile fingers?
I love perfume especially when at home.
Some facts of how certain oils as part of perfume ingredients are harvested shake my liking to perfumery. If I buy those perfumes, am I abusing certain group of people? If I don’t buy, am I letting them unemployed?
Life is sometimes as simple as abc– Yet life is sometimes as complex as ancient codes to decipher.
Time to concoct my own perfume from responsibly-sourced oils?
a message sent to me on Apr 24 when I was in my mother’s house, from a shipping company – could not recall what I purchased as not much shopping these days
today I picked it up when arriving home – what is it, what is it, said I curiously
ahhh!!! I purchased Elon Musk’s perfume, the Burnt Hair on Oct 14, 2022
the longest wait of a PO to be shipped in my life 😂
it is almost like burnt hair smell – maybe this is the smell of Elon Musk’s burnt hair 😂
does it worth the wait? hmmm…. for my curiosity yes, not for my olfactory system 😹
Do you know, Beloved…? In the middle of a water Tossing wildly a Land Stretching like a tail, Tinted with merry tiny blossoms Willing to smile In May summed up are they. Bearing light fragrance Infusing air elegantly For you, only for you—
Do you also know, Beloved…? I lullaby some seeds That wake up lazily, Stretch to the sky Then sprinkle perfumes With thousands of flowers In the 9th month Being warm and fuzzy In the other half For you, only for you—
For you Whether to take Or to give up. There is no heaviness in a no. There is no lightness in a yes. There is pain in silence. Yet life is so rich, There is always cure For any wound. Let poems sing heart songs For you, only for you.
In a bottle of perfume You are the heart note. In a cup of coffee You are the acidity. In a full course meal You are the entree. In a life of a human You are the love.
They gild the lily, Making them salt to the sea. Ocean in a drop—
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When I was very young, I could desperately envy those who were physically beautiful, intelligently wise and, spiritually mature at the same time. How could people be blessed with such full readiness to face the complex life and completeness to address its various issues? I’m sure I wasn’t alone; many human beings were on the same boat with me.
Yet getting older has helped me not want anything but more consistently feeling comfortable to be my own self and realising that those perfect people only looked perfect because they were perceived through imperfect eyes (my young ones 😉).
Proofs and revelation then taught me acceptance to live with limitation, imperfection and physical flaws. In many ways I’ve seen blessings in me more than the perfect.
Being ordinary has saved me from getting high demands to be a gorgeous woman who should move gracefully in front of the crowd, a pious person who should perform religion disciplinedly or a wise friend who should give good advices when needed anytime. I’m blessed!
Being ordinary has driven me to live with only two goals: to enjoy being my own self and to do what’s best in life to be as much beneficial in my short life. With not much to choose, life is forced to be the integration between persistence and dedication, a commitment of body, mind and soul.
Fortunately being flawed is like an ocean. Ocean is full of beauty especially the deeper the diver is willing to explore; like Captain Nemo who found beauty in the depth of the sea that wasn’t witnessed by those who never traveled in Nautilus. However, thousands of cubics of any possible wastes are also dumped to the vast water: plastics, oil, waste water, many kinds of garbage and probably millions of memories drawn by broken hearts. A perfect beauty full with paradox!
Rumi reminds through one of his verses “You are not a drop in the ocean; you are the entire ocean in a drop”. A perfection in imperfection—
Truly an existence is perfect when with natural flaws and complete acceptance.
Nothing is more blessed than accepting one’s own self and taking care of one along the journey.
Summary of today’s conversation with my best friend 🐣
May all beings be happy 💝
be perfume, even best eyes can’t see but good nose can smell
Flow to the ocean, Swim in the sea of blessings. Experience life.
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Who doesn’t like good smell? Not necessarily perfume, yet perfume is one most common celebrated fragrance other than food—
While many perfume brands provide the customers with their concoction of scents, there are two prominent brands offering different ways of how they sell their collections.
One brand is making the perfumes following customers’ taste or favourite scents after some discussion. The assistant will go in to their “lab chamber” and go back after a couple of minutes presenting a bottle of perfume as what have been discussed. I love the rose that I chose— some orange as too note with rose in the middle and no base.
Another brand is even more transparently doing it. They spread bottles of many kinds of oil that are categorised in 3 perfume notes: top, middle and base. The customers are free to choose which and how many percents of each of them they want to have in the concoction. To me it’s an interesting experience, making me think of how my scent last: light, heavy, long lasting or not. Once the customers decide, the assistant will go to a lab corner open to the guests. The assistant will measure and weigh how much of those 3 notes are wanted. Customers can talk to her/him and try on the weighed mixture before finally they are ok with the customised fragrance. Some minutes later….
Tada! A bottle of a “perfume signature” is produced!
Another interesting feature: customers are allowed to engrave a 4-to-6-character word on the bottle! For free!
It’s like experiencing “I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.”
Welcome, next week.
she is concocting a signature perfume for a customer
Scents of the unknown
Lingers in the air. Muguet:
Earthy, green, floral—
You’ve turned spark to fire burning
Dreams to fuel a sweet journey.
All people love fragrance; not necessarily perfume but yes I’m talking about it. Let’s agree that fragrance is one of the best gifts in life – I mean…. I am not naturally smelling like flowers, but I love nice air coming into my nostrils and celebrating the beauty of nature through one of the human’s senses. Don’t you?
At times when we are wearing perfumes, we’ll subconsciously reminisce moments featuring individuals that we might or might not clearly remember.
Lemongrass mostly reminds me to Ayutthaya. Jasmine connects to a place in Erawan, Bangkok. Frangipani brings Ubud back to memory. Rose to one factory in Vietnam. Lemon brings me to my humble abode in Greater Jakarta. Sandalwood to my mother who loves sandalwood. Lavender to my father whose pomade was lavender-based. And so on, and so forth.
Recently there came unknown scents that reminded me to some people. I was browsing perfumes, and trying certain fragrances, particular moments and faces struck me stealthily. Goodness! Now I captured them through various fragrances! Moments, faces and nuances intertwined in the liquid. The memories might have been traced and downloaded by our brain! Unknown scents have empirically proved to represent impression caught about someone.
I’m now liking lily of the valley or muguet scent because it reminds this person to a most beloved. I don’t think that person splashed muguet when meeting with me but he suits that attar. What an overestimation it is! It’s ok, he doesn’t know 😂
Recommended: Go for a new experience in perfumery and investigate what scents connect you to what moments or which individuals. You might find a way to get rid of bitter past and/or revive good spirits to be happy.
Guess I know why I can’t relate well to some people that’s why they are connected to certain aroma that I’m not fond of. Probably…. Or just my superstition….
One person’s favourite scents might not be others’ ones.
rike jokanan 
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