graphs of my Universe
Or once again!
And again!
And again!
Oh I am still in your head?
Once again!
What? Still there?
Once again!
In your heart?
Alamak…. Just let her go? 😂
Some people don’t know that flushing is about letting go.
😂
one toilet cubicle in Changi Airport Singapore 😂
This heart blooms and blooms
Leaving quiet budding season,
Emerging from mud.
——
One of my friends complained why all my poems are about love, like I am either falling in love or broken hearted day by day.
After some time of chat and juice against wine glasses that friend answered one’s own question.
“Ya! Life is about loving: smoothly or broken-heartedly. Now I know what you mean. I thought all were about romance! Ahhh!”
I tried a sip of wine from that friend’s glass.
“You’ll get drunk more at home and write more love poems!” Said that friend laughing.
“Yes, I won’t give up this love whatever interpretation is thrown about me to me. I am thankful enough to have very few true friends who understand.”
Salaam.
true love is too tasteless for those weighing it with money; yet too complex for those weighing it with faith — for those not knowing the true secrets behind words, love is just a marriage between distrust and fear hidden in sparkling plastic 🙃 i know love is still beautiful whether it is well understood or misunderstood 💕
There is a home
That no one refuses
Through series of rejection.
There is a home
That many dream as grand and proud
Through sweats and tears.
There is a home
That all thank for
Through blessings and trials.
There is a home
That one gets shelters and hugs
Through age and moment.
There is a home
That one lives in
Alone and together.
——
Disclaimer: a ranting from a head full of dreams through 2 thumbs — please read responsibly, beware of jumping contexts, connect the dots carefully
——
There are 3 homes that a Javanese should build within her/his life time. Those 3 are raga, wisma, buana.
RAGA
Raga means body in Javanese language. It is one significant aspect as it is the materialisation of life that enables life to experience life. There are senses only when life is embodied in this plane. There are emotions only when life experiences in this plane. And that life is manifested in human being body is the next level of blessings that make life live to the fullest as human being is considered the highest level of creature whereby lowest to highest qualities gather.
There are three layers of raga according to Javanese tradition: physical body, mental body and spiritual body. Which is to be taken care of? All, no exception as three are making the home.
This is the first home that should be built by a human being. Connection to her/himself is the foundation. Contribution to life is the pillars and walls. Dedication and devotion is the roof. The rest is optional.
Connection to self: with all the needs for survival, acknowledgement, justification, compliments and other external alignment; human being tends to forget to talk to her/himself, thank to her/himself, listen to her/his true self. S/he ignores the self as long as s/he feels pride and externally justified. I don’t say it wrong; yet based on my own experience connecting to self through honest conversation with my own self is the only way to realise that this very body is the safest home.
Connection to my self is a needed foundation to have more genuine and stable contribution to life. Not easy but doable—
Contribution to life: appreciate others, help others, support others, be genuinely kind, let go off others’ negative impression about self — and the like. I used to bear all those as burden until finally I realised that proper connection to myself is a key to my contribution to life.
When I was younger, I protected my ego and pride as if others would snatch them away. When I was younger, I would not tolerate others who behave slightly different from what I expected. When I was younger, I would not show genuine affection to others as I was afraid they would misunderstand me — bloody hell as if I was a perfectly beautiful or truest creature on earth 😝
It has taken almost all my life to be genuinely kind even to my own self. It took me brutal honesty and judgment and rejection and humiliation and disrespect from my own self and from others. Yet I am ok.
It has taken and will continue taking time to bring my self to where “the existence is as much as the non existence”. I will be patient with my self.
Dedication/devotion: complaining is one highest skill of many human beings where I am now living. I can say I’ve learnt this (new) skill here. Paradoxically I also learnt to be more sincere and to complain the least. The massive complaining vibe has taught me that the dedication to what we are doing regardless how hard it is is like polishing a stone to finally expose a gemstone in the core — I had verbally complained lesser and lesser until finally I can tame my self to not complain without and within.
I devote my life through what tasks assigned without thinking how much the contribution to life materially is as long as I know it is to enrich my and others’ life. I will continue doing what I am doing until I cannot so what I am doing.
💕
WISMA
Wisma means house or home.
Why wisma? Why not greha/grha (not graha)? Greha/grha refers to building, while wisma refers to both building and a place to rest.
So, wisma is a house that makes a Javanese being her/himself with those s/he commits to spend her/his true self in certain period of life time, to rest from all the outside world that might have degraded her/his being human. Whether the wisma is owned or rented, it is not a matter; the matter is it can give shelter and peace to the dwellers— both should be guaranteed.
What about being homeless? While some travel from one place to another “to find her/himself”, a home is paramount for all Javanese to finally go home; and being homeless is not a preferred condition. For common Javanese homeless is an indicator of disconnection (from self and/or from family/community and/or from environment/universe).
It might be a culture that changes over time. Young people prefer buying other things first before buying home. It doesn’t matter, they perhaps find home in those.
🙏🏼
BUANA
Buana is the world, the earth in particular as a nature.
When Elon Musk said he wanted to move to Mars, I could understand. This earth is probably not feeling home to him (and some people who know what is really happening to certain level of global situation) and so he needs to find a new home where life can be safer and more controllable.
The earth has been exploited and I’ve been part of it with my liking to clothing and paper books. The earth has been tortured and I’ve been part of it through the fossil fuel consumption and the craving of cheaper prices of almost everything.
What have I done to take care of this home? I can just do the least: using as least plastic as possible, keep my space clean and hygiene, use environmentally friendly products for primary stuff, eat organic food when possible, support animal welfare causes and plant more trees in my own garden.
Not so much I can do yet that’s a commitment to love Mother Earth.
💕
Yet I still feel dragged to be in those 3 homes. I feel like trudging with shackles around my ankles walking to where I am not feeling good and well appreciated. I am not yet prancing enjoying being home.
It doesn’t matter, I will be patient to this human side.
Happy weekend! Laundry is waiting 🥰
Salaam.
3 homes, 3 sources of freshness, 3 balancing points
All these are borrowed,
I’ll have to return all.
Let me borrow humbly,
So all won’t make me fall.
So much has been blessed to,
So much has been given to,
So much has been here now for,
This life.
It’s all what is,
And I accept.
I give up all struggles
To travel light.
Thank
You.
——
The Corrs
Life is bitter sweet
For sense that is alive,
Willing and happy to taste
Whatever that is served.
Enjoy.
Life is full of tastes
From all directions
Enjoy.
Life is worth tasting
Until its completion.
——
enjoy! carbo please….
healthful food is food from my own kitchen
bitter gourd with sweet chicken filling
green and fresh
I’m high
Of thinking of
You that hums and chants
Nature of love
Spraying peace
Around my orbit.
I’m high
Of rotating on my own self,
And revolving around
You.
——
not so high a stack but it took three hours to do so — yes, i’m slow Iron Woman 😁
Sunset,
When you greet,
You greet with messages
To see an end
As a start,
To see brightness
Wrapped in some dark,
To feel some doubt
As a protection.
Sunset,
Not long after you
I will sleep
To dream what I can’t achieve,
To release what I can’t detach,
To kiss my beloved,
To travel to where your sister
Sunrise gives back
All what rest.
——
today’s beautiful sunset 💕
pretty wind chime from Bogyoke Market, Myanmar that has been light and sound reflector since 2018 — thank you for today!
I stand on a sheet of paper
Full of flying poems
That tell me
That life is just like
That.
I stand in front of a mirror
Full of dancing shadows
That tell me
That real is just like
That.
I stand across the bridge
Full of swimming hopes
That tell me
That memory is just like
That.
I stand on a piece of heart
Full of singing loves
That tell me
That dream is just like
That.
I stand next to a bucket
Full of listed completions
That tell me
That failure is just like
That.
I stand with myself
Full of cries and smiles
That tell me
That success is just like
That.
Be just right,
Not less,
Not more,
As life is just like
That.
——
I never wanted to visit Korea until one colleague sent me a photo of library near our office in Seoul. Today he reminded me again about the library and told me to go there soon as he is moving to another location soon and might need to travel long to bring me to the library.
But he also said “Library is just like that. The most important thing is its collection, not its building.”
“And the building is like in the photo? Just like that?”
“Yes. It is just like that. You’re still welcome to Korea though.”
“Sure! Scheduled.”
🙏🏼
thank you!
enjoy!!! ♥️ the mutton is hidden like a gem before found 😂
“bake” it 30 to 45 minutes
ready to cook — layering among basmati rice then fried onion then mutton then veggies
this is to cook the marinated mutton before mixed with cooked basmati rice
onion — fried
mutton marinated in yogurt, turmeric and garlic
basmati rice boiled in Indian bay leave, cardamom, cumin seeds, star anise, cinnamon
simple as it is
Power that is left
Tells outer layers of truth
That might not be true.
——
And it doesn’t matter as truth might have millions of layers depending on number of thoughts dissecting their stories.
Life is unlimited.
💕
Okayama Castle – front view
Okayama Castle – back view
super fragrant flower in Karokuen Garden
Celebrate today
‘Coz there won’t be tomorrow
Everyday’s today.
——
Weekend is packing and doing household chores while enjoying rhythm of the rain.
♥️
some for today with grapes before going out after my success with laundry and this lovely jadah
voila! i will bring some for my next week biz trip ♥️ we call it JADAH or TETEL or ULI
steam for about 30 min, 45 min max if softer texture is preferred — while it is hot, pound it slowly until it becomes cake
add grated coconut
up to this consistency
boil it with coconut milk added, salt is optional based on taste preferred
glutinous rice soaked in water for at least 30 min
Mountains to climb
As seas to sail
Diving deep in to the oceans
Knowing to go and to fail
——
7 Mountains (60%)
Walking the aisle
Two smiling earthlings can’t stop waving hands
To us
Who wonder
“They were toddlers we hugged,
Now they read solemn vow?”
It is a happy day
When we pray, laugh and eat together
Witnessing happiness that proceeds.
——
Matt, my best friend’s youngest son is getting married today! Matt and Cheer, Tante Rike happy for you 😘😘😘 send me all our pictures ♥️
cheering with groom’s mama after eating 😂 day is good with those looking forward to bright days ♥️
My poem for you
Is not in the words.
My poem for you
Sits on the bed of this heart.
The words that you recite
Is what language can say
About what is still,
Admiring you from a secret place
That keeps everything
And keeps flowing.
——
some poem is better utterred on canvas
a small play for a toilet at home; an intermezzo to take a break from the gift painting in progress
There’s a crook
I can’t understand.
It is when I saw
You in silence
And said in heart
“I find no reason in
You for me to love but
What is this emotion?”
There’s another
I can understand.
It is when I felt
A warm summer
And said in heart
“There’s enough reason to love
You in silence
That forever blooms.”
No reason is needed to love
For love is blind.
Yet there’s reason to keep the love
For love is the only kind.
It’s time
When it’s time.
——
my orchids after one week left home alone
welcome! my orchids have taught me that flowers bloom when it’s time; not to be seen, not to be picked, not to be admired; they’re blooming simply to bloom — there’s only one reason to understand: it’s time
what is her ID? unknown and still beautifully blooming
with a line of my white shirts hanging as the background, this oncidium is gonna be yellow
another stem of oncidium waiting for its timing to greet me with yellow
dendrobium peeps again — thank you
dendrobium from the same cluster in the same pot that keeps greeting me with health and happiness
You’re my best omiyage
From wherever Nihon
I visit.
You’re my desperate love songs
I sing
From wherever corner of the world
I sit.
You’re my sweet mystery
That I can never solve.
Why
Oh why,
Dear
Omiyage?
I present
You to only
Those that I love.
Wrapped in white
Ribboned in red
Wished in indigo
Dear
Omiyage
——
Japanese omiyage is the same tradition of Javanese oleh-oleh in which local souvenirs are brought for others after traveling to a specific place or simply when visiting. So it is not just random souvenirs, omiyage or oleh-oleh is a token of experience sharing and caring friendship from someone to someone else.
A sweet gesture that will be perfect when done with sincerity and mindfulness—
Salaam.
Niigata rice, the best omiyage for good friends this time — humble ladies, see you tomorrow 🙏🏼
About omiyage
Look! It’s blue on green
Burning spirit to trueness
Of living simple.
——
I love the rice field sprawling along the train track in Japan. It brings feel of peace at the same time reminding me that there are still those who are willing to live as farmers even (according to my Japanese friends) with not so high income.
God bless farmers without whom we won’t live.
Salaam.
irrigation that travels like blood in body
the clouds that travel by the wind like dream in mind
Lightning is so quick
Striking sight with its brightness
Before earth goes silent.
——
Love is sometimes a sight that attracts the eyes, strikes in less than one minute, blinds the eyes for some longer time before gradually clears the mind again. Gradually yet surely 💝 with intensifying silence and lack of reciprocity. Life will be back to its true beauty.
May all beings be happy.
in this case a writer is either a loyalist or a stupid! both not equivalent with the brilliance in his/her writings 😂
No scent is missed,
No inhaled air is empty.
The scent is a box of coloured mist
To bring in imagery.
These nostrils celebrate days
Through haling the loaded air
And propelling power through stories,
Millions of stories shared.
——
can’t leave without scent, good or bad
and its evolving fragrance, softened before dried
sadly this leaf was not so nicely scented 🙏🏼 thrown away
batik has a good scent as it is washed with lerak (soap berry)
frangipani, a flower that is popular as graveyard flower in Java island ♥️ sweet fragrance of the death
i miss the scent of the thin air by the rice field under the blue sky 💝
I started teaching this morning. Overall I’ll be teaching English, soft skills, art and hopefully someday Japanese. I partner with my best friend to establish a free weekend class for the kids and youth in her small library in south area of Yogyakarta. It is a community support that we humbly provide for a better leadership and communication skills of our young generation.
We have very very very limited budget but we commit to help the community not only to welcome but also to design bright future.
Pray for us.
May all beings be happy.
children class this morning — very very basic communication skills of reading, writing, listening, speaking — what a sweet fun session! 💝
these two girls were the youngest students today 💝
Without him I die
and with him’s no better
With or without him
longing’s the same
I found him, finding
what I hadn’t foreseen,
the cure and disease
as equal fevers
His silhouette flares
as we draw near
each other and
burns more proud
The deeper the harmony
the sharper the pain
Measure for measure
as decreed
——
The above is poem excerpted from below book — one that well explains how love consumes good soul. By simply loving life has shown what joy and pain can be perceived as either happiness or unhappiness depending on how deep or how true love is given meaning or taken for granted.
It has taken me quite long journey to finally connect the dots among the manifestation of love, pain, joy, harmony. It takes whole life to refine love and it takes big love to refine life — a vicious circle that keeps the fire burns, light flares and smoke billows bringing hope up to the sky.
“Life is light. Life is true.”
May all beings be happy.
♥️
Tarjuman Al-ashwaq (The Translator of Desires)
Tulus sings my heart. I wish all have a great weekend!
You
Are the beats in my heart.
Whereabout your heart
Am I in?
You
Are the water of a vase.
Whereabout your vase
Am I of?
You
Are the -ness at my nothing.
Whereabout your thing
Am I at?
There is silence,
And it answers me through.
I am nowhere about
You.
—
when the water is gone, all is dead — only dried leaves and air 🙏🏼
A background
Is redone.
A painting
Is restarted
Again
And again
And again.
Maybe one morning
She will restart
One more
And finally get it done.
There is peeping light
Highlighting the canvas
Naturally
Glowing with a new story
Sweeter to tell.
—-
i don’t know when this work is going to complete – it is constantly a new start because of the artist’s unprofessional insecurity
the recipient is impatiently waiting, a deadline must be set — ok, ok 🙏🏼
She has heard bird news,
Sending messages
Through Morse Code.
Dots, dashes, spaces—
She has heard numbers, words, punctuations,
Telling stories
About no hope.
Acceptance, letting go, moving on—
She has heard songs, poems, winds,
Springing in heart
Warmly and gently.
Future is brighter only with clarity.
She has heard a woodpecker
Reminding her of signals and signs
In every dance of nature
To be enjoyed and understood.
She has heard of you
Giving blocks and traps
To redirect her to her own path
To happiness.
She has heard of heaven
Approving whatever she’d do
As long as she’s happy and safe
Without disturbing life.
She has heard
Dews imbuing morning to refresh,
Twilight whispering night to rest.
Life is truly a woodpecker’s Morse Code.
She has heard
And she closes her eyes,
But not ears
As long as she’s happy and safe.
Thank you, Michael Lai for again allowing me to use your poetic pictures to illustrate a poem of mine that has been poking me since forever. 🙏🏼
Bay Woodpecker Pecking a Hole in the Tree (4 Photos)
What is work, my love?
Office, site visit, kitchen,
all rooms to fulfil.
——
Work is both those weekdays I am paid by my employer and weekends and holidays when I spend more from what I earn on weekdays. Both I do with all my heart and soul.
Thank you for everything.
May all beings be happy.
ironed clothes make good days of mine, that’s why i iron most of my clothes even those for sleeping 💝 i love myself 😁
late lunch after ironing 🥰 my kitchen loves me 😁
after lunch i finished making “rujak serut” for the next one week — one box per day 😇 to continue morning sliced fruit during Tapa Brata, i modify it to morning rujak serut 😁
What is easy
But hard to do?
It is
To relax
Where sensations are alien,
When vibrations are not aligned.
It takes training to all muscles.
It takes experience to all moods.
It takes willingness to all senses.
It takes time to all paces.
Today she says
I need all universe
To relax.
—-
this is a super different weekend of mine — my sensitive senses really have to cope with many: voices and sounds, whispers and screams, fragrance and odours, sights and scenes, heat and humidity, calmness and cheers, quietness and crowd, curiosity and satisfaction, bitter and sweet; thanks God for the beanie bag — yet I still want to vomit 😃
Smiling at a weekend
Makes air fresher and lighter.
A place that’s choking—
—
My best friend in Ubud is an active committee member of Bali Spirit Festival; she invites me to enjoy one day free pass after my Tapa Brata for today.
She knows very well I don’t enjoy crowd well yet she insisted that I try to experience an ambiance that might enrich my life. Thank you, I am now in.
I collected my wristband at the entrance, met my friend at the media center she managed then browsed around. A lot I didn’t imagine before. Not only the offered activities and products but also the visitors and participants.
While the activities and products are still easy for me to digest, the way the visitors dress is more shocking to me; half-naked might not be for myself but I can still understand that many bule (the white people in Indonesian language) are half-dressed due to hotter temperature in South East Asia, but almost naked…
Anyway my best friend has changed my curiosity into smiles— very wide smile….
I am enjoying my weekend!
the pink wristband for one day pass – got it free; thank you, De Nov!
the inner entrance inside Puri Padi Hotel where the festival is taking place
map
loving it!
another one
art is dominating the venue — loving it!
hungry? never worried 💝 — more choices other than this one
my favourite!
still heliconia 💝
one of those blinding me (the mildest for my eyes, that almost naked lady with backpack) — this is not a beach please…. 😎 i don’t have the heart to take more pictures 😏 i know what my friend will say to me “that’s why you can’t live in Bali, stay in Singapore, safer for your brain and mind”
stage for the (spiritual) music performance later afternoon — not being arrogant but after so much to learn and unlearn and relearn, to me all is spiritual without label so let me skip this spiritually-labeled music
this is the safest place for me to just drink tea and browse around aromatherapy oil in the market — will spend my time here until I meet my friend again ❣️
on a beanie bag under a young durian tree 💝
will i be back next time? 😁 Yoda said “your path you must decide, Jedi” 😂
Life is just like this:
A line with two ends. Circle—
Choose the best angle.
—-
They released us from the silence on May 5 at 11am before lunch time and gave us our gadgets back at 4pm. We were so excited to talk than to play the gadgets; we gathered in the dining hall and shared what we experienced during the noble silence.
We didn’t die without gadgets, no we didn’t. Yet we don’t die because of gadgets, either. Gadgets are just a tool to use wisely.
Each of us couldn’t thank more for everything.
May all beings be happy.
Salaam.
Pak Merta, our meditation teacher
Pak Kourma — our daily instructor
Pak Souca — our daily caretaker 🙏🏼
our last session of meditation was loving kindness meditation for daily life; the video camera was prepared for sharing session at the end
May 5 is today.
This is my second Tapa Brata and both of them are special. My first in 2018 was special because Pak Merta Ada’s teacher (Merta Ada is my health meditation teacher) a Buddhist high priest visited his retreat center and gave us blessings. This second one is because we found that May 5 is his birthday! He was born on May 5, 1957 — a long journey of a meditation teacher and healer.
Someone is also celebrating his birthday across the ocean. May 5 becomes more special today this time. A journey of a silent traveler.
Happy birthday Pak Merta and dear KU. Both of you have a special place in my heart.
For Pak Merta, we immediately prepared a green sarung rangrang. For KU I thoughtfully prepared a poem.
—-
Alone the bird flies
From a nest on a tall tree
It knows where home is.
🙏🏼
May 5 2023 is when the biggest moon rises this year; Waisak (Vesak) is already celebrated in some countries (on May 6 in other countries) — my meditation teacher is celebrating his birthday, another life teacher of mine is celebrating his
an “emergency” birthday present for Pak Merta Ada from our class, wrapped in a beautiful fancy paper from the nearest small shop nearby to wrap a sarung rangrang I originally bought for my additional spread and table cloth — what a beautiful togetherness in this meditation class 💝
rike jokanan 
You must be logged in to post a comment.