Coffee

Coffee, Beloved,
Brings back the fragrance of breeze
From the green high land.

—-

I drink coffee but am not a big fan of it. Fragrance of raw coffee beans, coffee cherries, coffee leaves, coffee flowers, coffee trees are much more lovable to these nostrils. Last 2019 visit to my uncle and aunt’s home in Menoreh Hill has always been a fresh fragrant memory; it is because the coffee fragrance would welcome us in the morning when wind blowing down the hill through the window sills.

Along the path up the hill going to our grandparents’ graveyards these hands would playfully pull some coffee leaves or coffee cherries, squeeze them and breathe the aroma in. My cousins and nieces would do the same. We would throw them to the dogs jumping around as playful as the owners.

Miss that green high land, where my ancestors started their humble legends—

Wind, fly me. 🛫

Salaam.

coffee shrubs decorate back yard of many houses in the hill; that fragrance is the witness of how the people love the land 💝
another fragrance loved – pepper
wait!
hey! get up, let’s run!

Love Stories

Stories, Beloved,
Chronological events
With no emotion
She puts meanings and settings
To characters in action.

I like poems loaded with love even when it is not love stories according to my friends. To me all stories are potential love stories.

I couldn’t find my left green sock and a poem about losing a beloved one was born. My kitchen lamp was blinking before switched off for good, a poem about a lover moving on after struggling reaching out to the beloved. Yet real broken heart helped me develop poems about how a heart shape blinks from white to blue to red to black before fading away.

Everything is love story between a lover and beloved. Of left and right socks. Of dark and light. Of hope and fear. Of head and heart. Of missing you and hating you. Of everything and nothing. Of me and my beloved that constantly changeable among me, you and them.

Mystery? Cheesy? It doesn’t matter. It helps me relax yet focus. ♥️

Life is all romance through these eyes. Wish that they remain with romantic lenses until life shows its true romanticism at the end of the journey—

😚

oh oh oh love you love you love you….. who are you? someone, something or some money? 😑

00:00

Whistling Winter

Winter, Beloved,
As white as wishes whistling
Through poems and prayers.

Damascus steel cuts silk. Drips of water punch the rocks. Wind caresses the sands. Breeze sways the twigs and ushers the leaves to land on the ground. Snowflake falls one by one wrapping the ground to doze off. With eloquent silence they make things happen.

How can I say about language ….except that it is as subtly powerful as nature, or even much more with its ability to transform or transmigrate whatever is in the hands, head and heart—

Whistle to me, Winter. These ears are frozen and distant but this soul is as warm and fragrant as jasmine tea.

Monday, thank you for being nice to me. Tuesday, I know you are too. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, be, too.

Salaam.

if only I learnt this language much earlier, I would have sung this song decently 😍

Singapore – Jun. 13, 2022 / 11:02pm

Playful Within

She is all children
Playing, pushing the limits
Before time for home.

—-

Adults at home often reprimanded young me for going home late missing timely afternoon bath or going home dirty playing in the river or paddy field. As a child I was confused why adults didn’t like playing; worse is they tried stopping me from having fun, while we children didn’t even do any harm when playing.

Reading a message from someone “Stay safe. Enjoy life.”, there is optimism that life is still playful even among those working crazily hard although level and perception about enjoyment differs from person to person based on whatever limit the prefer to use: culture, law, moral values, religion, contracted ethics conduct, etc. Mine is still the same: traveling along the river and going home late minus mud (sometimes at the bike wheels) and adults’ criticism.

Weekend is always refreshing. Welcome, Monday! I’ve been nice to you, please be nice to me! (transaction starts at the end of a weekend)

Salaam.

seen more black and white recently and hope to see more colour-negotiable days 💝

Marriage

Married, Beloved,
To your shadow that follows
Wherever I go.

Divorced, Beloved,
From your doubt that hunts and haunts
Wherever I hide.

—-

One very long chat decorated a night. A childhood friend did sharing about what she had experienced when we were away for about 10 years, busy with our own life. This is her promise to tell the full story after giving hints and looking puzzled when meeting me.

She married thrice. First husband died of illness. Second abused and cheated her and so they divorced. Third one, this one has brought a lot of stories and enlightenment.

How she finally decided the third after the traumatic second has strengthened about my own lesson in life – acceptance. How she lets a seemingly perfect person be with her imperfect figure does add amazement about one of my loyalist. How she ignores words and stares from people disapproving her behaviours has told me she is still girl going foraging in the wild with me in our lively early age.

She hit me with some bitter comments about my complicated points. She ridiculed me for being so guarding and distant from risking broken heart to happen. She also highlighted how her love transforms to friendship that I would have not believed can happen to her – she is not a “friendship-friendly” type of person, she is a snapping turtle 😑

There are things she has regretted about all 3 decisions but the regret has brought her to a final realisation that her life has shaped her into a composed, mature woman strong yet flexible enough to be beautifully bent by the hardship of life. The pain pays off, she said. What a beautiful creature my dear friend is! 😘😘😘

This weekend has given me another package of lessons from our childhood. A blast from the past!

Weekend is still long. I’d better have more fun!

May all beings be happy! 🙏🏼

the commitment on paper needs realisation in 3 dimension reality with soul and trust – red torii in progress

Finding You

Longing for
You
Is not
Because
Of
Love.
The opposite:
This love
Is
An expansion
Of
Longing for
You.

This room
Is
Full of
Longing for
You
And
Only love
Can define
You.

Failure
Of meeting you
Is
A pain,
Yet
Not
Suffering
These wings flap ahead
As
A view of
You
Zooming in and out
Giving a clue.

This love
Travels deeper
To a secret chamber
Where the gate
Finally finds the end.

Everything looks like you.
Everywhere locates you.
Every time shows you.

Hey, you!
Is it
You?

—-

a red torii to be, not shut down, a restart everyday

Buy Me! Eh?

Misled, Beloved,
Some heads bloated and farted
With commodities

—-

No hatred. No discrimination. What I have is respect to those minorities of any kind. But celebrating it with such euphoria, I’ll just exclude myself.

Again. No hatred. No discrimination. Just being wise in defining which minority is the truly vulnerable ones to defend.

it’s all commodity – I know many gay friends one of whom is my best one but I never want to celebrate his being gay like that group is the most support-needing one

Good Day, Again

Good start, Beloved,
Morning with a good picture
Of love on a plate—

—-

Let’s start Saturday with good intension, to experience the day with no pretension.

Weekend is always good with books, brushes and kitchen. Hey, don’t forget the umbrella!

☔️

love yourself with a plate of healthful food
fly, fly, fly! weekend is the sky!

Cut This?

Cut this, he said.
Nope! These fruits don’t need slicing,
Not for fine dining.

—-

I miss places where eating fruit is the combination of hard work and excitement. At very young age, some rascal friends and I would just pluck some fruits from the trees —our parents called it stealing and lectured us for weeks, we called it adventure— then eat them just like that. We even peeled sugarcane with our teeth like powerful fighters. 😎

I’m blessed to experience that prime time. Trust me it sounds rather uncivilised but that’s what has made my generation more humane than my niece and nephew’s generation that has to use knife to enjoy the helpless berries. 😀

Happy weekend!

🥳

hi, chef. most of those fruits won’t need knife to eat. give them to me and I’ll finish them in no time with no tool 😎

Sunset

Sunset, Beloved,
Serene pretty end of day
To be in your lap—

—-

I’ve limited contact with human beings for the past 2 years either due to the blessed pandemic or my own will. It feels good to seclude myself: doing what’s sweet and enriching, talking only to those encouraging and infusing positive vibes, working with all heart and soul.

Only calls from colleagues and family are those I’ve picked. Very very limited number of friends have been the preferred channels. The rest is next layers, not priority.

Only 6 people have been my favourite for the past one year — they are the easiest to laugh things with; at the same time the most serious to discuss crazy things with. We can talk about how stupid we are especially when in love 🤮 up to how we are afraid of dying ugly and in debt 😑

My mom and 2 older friends are kind of those I would respectfully listen with a twist – hey sometimes my ears are itchy too… My youngest brother and 2 same age friends are whom I impatiently argue with and patiently listen to each other. They are the definition of best friends of mine.

Thanks for becoming my sunrise, sunstroke and sunset. Beautiful friendship is about acceptance and trust! 💝

Alfatihah for you all my best people

sunset is beautiful reminding me of those sweet sour best friends 🥳

Rain Behind The Hills

It seems raining behind the hills.
Dark blue curtain
Hanging from heaven
Dances through her own rhythm.

Will it rain under the tree?
You asked.
Rain will pour down to the ground,
Tree is your canopy.
Will it flood on the pathway?
You asked.
Flood will turn to the river,
Pathway is your journey.
Will it be sunny?
You asked.
Sun shines with no holiday,
Sunday is when you think you are free.
Will you meet me?
You asked.
I am meeting you
Through the rain and flood
With the sun and cloud
Everyday
Without holiday.
You seem to worry about the rain.
The rain behind the hills?
Dark blue curtain
Hanging from heaven
Dances with your rhythm.
Keep walking,
You see.

—-

really not easy using water colour 🥺

Humane

Human, Beloved,
Bruised and scarred, laughter and cry.
Perfect? Humane not—

Nowhere to run from mistakes and errors. The best way is forgiving the self for making (too many) repeated irresponsible decisions and moving right on. Don’t add too many fatal moves; this life has its right to be happy, too.

Nowhere. It is just here and now. Tomorrow might be an elegy.

💝

this guy is a human being. there’s another one I adore even more than this guy simply because he is a human being – salaam

Anger

Anger, Beloved,
Burning you then your loved ones.
Blend it with poems.

—-

Some people look handsome when angry. Some others look ugly. The others don’t look angry at all. The beauty of poker face is on point in this situation. 🙃

Need to be ready with poker-face emotion as my trips are starting very soon. Long waiting, unruly queueing, late coming can come here and there. Poker face mode on will need activation randomly.

Ado do do!

painting in water colour is like holding anger. if too loose, it’s overflowing and ruining the shapes. if too tight, it explodes. but still i find it beautiful when different colours are blended as absorbed by the paper – don’t be angry, just kidding ☺️

Whirlpool

Whirlpool, Beloved,
Rotates to flush the stagnant.
Brain? No exception.

Izakaya-san*: How are you, Rike-san?

Me: I’m well. How are you there? Hopefully Japan welcome more foreign visitors.

Izakaya-san: I’m great! Yes, starting this month we relax the policy. How is Asia?

Me: I beg your pardon.

Izakaya-san: How is Asia?

Me: Oh. South East Asia? Much better. Most countries open borders without test and quarantine.

Izakaya-san: Oooh! Asia is good, too. Good, good, good!

This head was whirled yet decided to sound normal this afternoon. God bless Izakaya-san and his people from his generation. 🤭

Salaam.

i’m very often “Japanly” whirled! 😂

* Izakaya-san is a pseudo name I use to talk about unique Japanese that gives me some experience. It’s not because I dislike izakaya. I like izakaya so much that everything about Japanese unique reminds me of izakaya. Only Japan has izakaya.

Tonight Is A Good Night

Good night, Beloved,
They slow down even the trains.
But times, it moves right.

—-

One friend said “Some people show their sweet side when they need me, I just knew they laughed at me behind my back and said how stupid I’ve been for (she mentioned one big social contribution she made). Do you think I should stop being kind to people?”

Another friend said “No. why stop? There is karma so you’d better do good deed. Your good actions will be repaid with good reactions. Believe it.” This one is also very kind.

Another one said “This life doesn’t owe you anything. So how much ever you spend, it will not be paid back. You will not be repaid 10 points just because you donate 1 point. Look! How much have you lost, just like that? No one gives you 10 times the amount, right? What karma? Whose karma? You’d better do what’s the best for your benefits and without harming others.” She is the most critical.

The other friend said “it should be balanced. You do good things and don’t forget doing bad things.” 🤔 Gosh she is always the most confusing.

I said “I’m hungry. Let’s go dinner. Our brain needs to slow down.” Those three stopped arguing.

Night is always good for a chat with some friends whose heads contain different things whose heart is of one intension — to respect friendship.

Salaam. ♥️

two trains to/from opposite directions of the same line, Red Line

Finding the Coherence

There is no natural conflict on earth.
When there is conflict, it must have been because of wrong thinking model installed in the nerve system.

Why?

Because everything is coherent in the universe.

How scientific but disappointing!
Her life craves for drama
Like her brain craving for sugar.

Fix the point of view
Or the distance of view
Or the angle of view
Or whatever to see things clearly
To save my own life
For comfort?
For sanity?
For (false) equilibrium?
For clarity!

The journey restarts.
No regret.

—-

Harmonize!

find it to fix the big picture!

Jun. 7, 2022 / 5:20am

Dandelion

Achene’s a message
Sent to wish more joy and bliss.
Sad no more, dear earth.

Each day new day. It is equivalent with Javanese wisdom “mati sajroning urip” which literally means “dead within life”. It is a very deep wisdom teaching Javanese human beings to let the old self to transform to the new one. It is simply acknowledging that some problems are let go and self is moving on with better understanding about what life is truly is.

If life challenge is considered a seed, it will free the human being, fly away to fall on Mother Earth’s lap somewhere and be part of green woven blanket beautifying and cooling.

Life is just like that.

Salaam.

dandelion (Randa Tapak in Javanese)