Constipation – laughing

Life is sometimes like a lottery, you get multiple of what you paid or not at all. Today I took a taxi whose driver made me feel like winning a lottery.


This 68-year-old driver is a smart and fun guy. At the beginning I thought he was probably a manager in a big company once when he was younger. Hey, once I met one taxi driver who used to work in my current company – at around 80’s he was offered retrenchment with good amount of severance payment due to the company financial condition. So this guy might be of the same situation before.


He told me that he used to live Indonesia then moved to US before finally deciding to go home to this tiny rich dot between Indonesia and Malaysia.


Then he asked me if I mind him talking. I said politely I was ok as I like listening to people talking and ranting as much as I love to do to them.


Along the way from Kramat Road to my home he didn’t stop talking, he shared a lot of his experience of working in trading world. He also demonstrated his ability of speaking Bahasa Indonesia. He talked about his parents, wife, children and grandchildren and one of his expertise: making jokes!


He made me laugh with at least 3 jokes but his last joke was coming as a successful punch line.


“There is a new movie, but you probably not yet seeing it.”


“What’s the title, uncle?”


“Constipation.”


“Oh, I’ll watch when it is showing.”


“But it’s not coming yet.”


“No, I mean I’ll watch when it is”.


“No, it is not.”


“What’s the title? I’ll stay tuned.”


“Constipation.”


“Oh ok, I’ll watch it for sure.”


….. a long pause


“Oh my goodness! You mean it is not coming because it is constipation?!!! Goodness! It is the best joke of the week! Hahahaha” My laughter exploded.


“Thank you, Ma’am.”


Look! Life is like a lottery. You can be gloomy in the morning but who knows what life is giving you in the evening! An old humble taxi driver in face mask and you are also in face mask but only good talk and good will have changed the day into a blessed day starting Friday welcoming weekend.


Thanks, uncle taxi driver! God bless you and family.


May all beings be happy

Let’s Start The Weekend – haiku

Me, a while ago

Drowned in detergent water.

Let’s start the weekend.



It was a fun day today! I met my dentist, grabbed some groceries, bought new pink and white dresses, did big pile of laundry and watched movies plus did some cooking and dish washing. Of course two hours sitting in front of MacBook to fix excel work without success was not counted.

The laundry is always the biggest challenge but when finished, it turns me into the most relaxed human being on earth.


All are done. Tomorrow is gonna be a great biking day! Or just brisk walking? I don’t know, I just wanna stay out the whole day!


Yay!

The Buckets – haiku


How many buckets?

Mine’s 3: trust, know and not know.

Overloaded not know….



I realise that the three buckets in my life don’t get loaded evenly. While the buckets of trust and know are not even half filled, my not know is overloaded.


Trust the the process. Never thrust on what result you expect. Just stop there until time discloses what you need to gain from what you trust. If it doesn’t come, it is simply not yours. Even if I’ve gotta cry my soul out? Yes, even if I’ve gotta cry my soul out!


Dear, Beloved. You’ve broken my heart thousands of time but I still go home to You….

Know as much as you need to respond ‘coz you need to well reason to work with Fellow creatures. Don’t state what you doubt and keep the integrity high.


Dear Self, be sure that you have enough knowledge about your decision and what you are doing. That way you don’t crave for others’ approval to feel content.


Don’t be ashamed of not knowing ‘coz the Universe is not only knowledge to boast or bluff but also mystery to embrace….


Dear Beloved, if ever knowing has made people proud; please keep me like now— not knowing, to keep me humble and happy.


Three buckets are silently sitting on a shelf in a corner of my heart….


May all beings be happy


Salam….

Hungry Caterpillar

Caterpillar feet
March on a twig. Oops! They flip.
Scary acrobat!
It looks up to the blue skies,
Prepares to cocoon itself.

Butterfly is never really born. It is a natural breakthrough after the hungry caterpillar is willing to go fasting and liquidize itself in seclusion. When it is time, a butterfly comes into being.

You might be not a colourful pretty butterfly but cocooning should have taught you that your present being is the output of a long resting period after such a long euphoric period of being a hungry caterpillar. The euphoric being is gone, replaced by a winged soft being flying and dancing celebrating the moving air around its body.

Your wings might be just pitch black but they are the result of how sincere you are in a transformative sleep hanging in a weak twig, without knowing if you’ll be slapped down when the twig is broken, without knowing that you’ll be aborted because of the wet, without knowing that the end is the end or a transition point. You just don’t know but you accept your not knowing.

You might not be as pretty as the most beautiful butterfly out there but…. You’ve gone through the same quality of cycle – not less not more. Thanks to fair Mother Nature.

To be “born” winged, fly, help the flowers pollinate before fruition and magically create graceful move with super powerful effect….

Don’t be upset for being a flipping hungry caterpillar’ coz when you’re transformed, your flapping wings can blow a typhoon!

May all caterpillars be happy…..

Rike Jo

Happy Day – haiku

I’m one year older.
What should I say, dear Heaven?
Thank you? Or, damn you?

 
September 6, 2020
 
 
Birthday is always bitter sweet. Some people will merrily say happy birthday and wish me all the best. Yet there is a group of people who will tease me about getting older and older and older
 
I love the latter one as they sound more genuine to me ahaha. They are my closest circle! This particular group is full with people who have always supported me with true friendship in my high and low, kept me insane in my hard time, laughed with me in true and false jokes, given me confidence to be just me. And I’ll do the same for them. This is the group I’d like to keep as my circle for the rest of my life; those without hidden agenda to pull me under their bloody carpet for them to show their glory.
 
Whew! What a day!
 
Today is not a special day because it’s my birthday but it is special because I realise more strongly that those I trust are true, existing and trustworthy.
 
I’m always walking happily! 🥰
 
Salam….
 
 
 
 

Struggling? Accepting? Both?

Watching Tom Hank’s Cast Away once again, I still think it is always relatable to overall situation about how human beings respond to the unexpected or the unacceptable. Just how wonderful the power of acceptance can change a perspective up to 180 degrees. How a short period of a human being’s life span can wise up a heartless man. How being alone can teach you so many life skills that you’ve missed because of your pampering facilities! How the physical absence and no news practically be assumed that someone is just dead! Just how amazing a volley ball can cure someone’s loneliness — hey, just like how some of you talk to Siri, right?

If you were stranded in an un-populated island, what would you do? Or maybe the first thing is how would you react? Angry? Desperate? And then what? You don’t have any tools, you are a newly-recruited as stone era man by the small island whose ghosts are even yet to wake up.

I mean what type of excitement can you apply? You are powerless as you don’t have any choice but accept that this island is better than the water surrounding it, that the un-waken ghost might be your best friends, that drinking coconut water is preferred than the sea water. More than that if you are modern scout without Swiss knife and the ropes, you can’t even boast yourself to anyone as you are alone — ok, wait until you can boast around later when you’re back to civilisation.

I think the biggest lesson from Cast Away isn’t really survival, it is acceptance. Although survival and acceptance may lead to the same point of life- that you are to go back to your own interest; those two words represent two different emphasis of action.

Survival emphasises the struggle against all odds with some assumption that human beings have the right to win over any barriers including other human beings and nature, that you can persuade others even force others to follow your wish. I don’t like this in my personal life. In business, that’s different field of game so let’s be wolves!

Acceptance emphasises the surrender to and adaptation to the situations with awareness that others have their own free will and no power should apply to force your expectation against them.

Life is mega vast ocean of unlimited possibilities. I am just one of billions of those playing. Some people play edge water, splash around, swim, surf, dive, you name it…. I don’t know what I’m doing I’m probably drowning with too much dream of possibilities which I soon have to burry deep in my next peaceful sleep.

I have power over nothing (Chuck Noland, Cast Away)


Salaaam….

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cast_Away

Signs – ranting

When sign means nothing,

She’s maybe illiterate

Or dead desperate.



I had a conversation with a good friend, the topic was “sign”. This particular friend cannot read most of non verbal signs and hints from her spouse clearly. What her spouse shows non verbally won’t trigger any curiosity from her; except when he expresses it verbally then she will understand. Facial gestures, body language, more seriously mental vibration won’t do her any ring anymore.


I thought it was strange as a couple should be able “to read” each other’s feeling or idea with a blink of an eye! At least that’s my ideal couple goal.


Then after a while I can relate to what has happened to me.


I’ve been living away from family for more than 25 years; the 7 of which I’ve lived totally home alone (cats and other pets not counted). And that 7-year period is when I think I’ve lost the ability to read what my family is trying to communicate to me. We either don’t understand “the language” or we just can’t accept “the reasoning”. When it comes to language, I feel that our ability to read kinds of personal or cultural gestures have diminished either with my ignorance to their loving and caring behaviour or with their insensitivity to my practicality and logical thinking. We just don’t know how to match things in many occasions and usually we’ll just tolerate each other by saying “no worry, as long as you are happy and healthy”.


When I asked what happened to my friend and her spouse, she said “I just don’t know what language I should use to communicate with him”. Hmm exactly what I experience with my mother and siblings.


“Why don’t you try guessing whatever you see from him? Just to show that you care?”


“I’ve tried but it looks unnatural. He asked me why I did weird questioning and guessing.”


“It is ok, unnatural at the beginning but will be natural when you find the click”.


“We won’t find a click anymore. We are not happy and not meant to be.”


Eh?


At that point I couldn’t say anything. I think she is not illiterate, she’s seriously desperate.


Gosh! Life is a mystery! We, her close circle have always thought they’re the happiest and I’m the lonely. Now I think it is time to be thankful just for a minute to be happier even than the happiest.


May all beings be happy…..

Complete or Complex? – ranting

Life is a complete journey. You’re the driver, passenger, the road, the vehicle, the destination and the source!

That’s not complete, that’s complicated or even complex.

Dear Self, it doesn’t matter though that the understanding of the complexity isn’t coming yet.

You may think you’re just a driver, dear Self. But why thinking you’re a driver if you don’t even think of direction?

You may think you’re merely a passenger. Why thinking you’re that if you are so busy directing your life to certain direction. Only driver minds about direction.

You’re the road ‘coz you’re always saying you’re tracing back your DNA. You claim that you try to understand yourself, to follow your line…. You’re the road and route itself.

The vehicle?
Without your body, you won’t be able to move around! You. Are. Your. Own. Vehicle.
Note that!

The direction?
You always say everything is for your own good, for your own benefit…
You’re your own purpose. Direction.
Re-orient yourself!

The source?
Don’t worry, dear Self there is blown spirit given to you, from the Source.
So if you don’t think you’re the source, you at least contain some particle sparked or blown or splashed or however the way from the Source.

Hmm…. Love
So easy to fool around this humble Self to believe that life is a complete oops complex journey….

Take it easy….. Time to enjoy your corn with cheese, dear Self.

May all beings be happy

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Sunset – haiku

She loves each sunset.
It throws her things to ponder,
About life knots.

Temasek – Aug. 30, 2020 / 23:54

Many people choose to live in houses facing the east where the Sun greets them in their mornings. The iconic sunrise is not only the representation of natural beauty but also the indication of value in dollars of the residence.

All my windows face west though, with no special consideration except that I pay cheaper rent for this small apartment. My friends said I should have chosen the other one with some dollars more to see the sunrise. I thought I made wrong choice but soon found that sunset isn’t less beautiful than the sunrise.

Sunset gives me warmth of the day. It waves me a hope to see the next day. It’s red, orange, yellow behind the spectrum of light to dark blue and oftentimes grey to pitch black has become my dear friend when I’m home.

I’ve been not only living but also working from home since March and seeing many sunsets with different combinations of colours and weathers.

In fine days sky gives me clearer definition of what sunset is like. Round burning circle slowly and quietly drowns into darkness, leaving the land a peaceful place and letting electricity take the turn.

In cloudy days I’ll ask the sky where he hides the giant fire ball. He says the ball is still burning behind him, moving to the same direction in the same orbit with relatively the same speed, just that it is knowing that certain days don’t need its presence for some reasons. Sun still sets but my eyes don’t witness it.

Sunset has taught me that life goes on whether we see it or not, hear it or not, discuss it or not, taste it or not, smell it or not: sense it or not. Sunset has taught me that the attention is human beings’ button of “what exists”. With or without that button, everything exists yet human beings think some don’t exists just because their button is off.

Sunset is truly a gift for me from the Universe. It is a present when I miss my beloved people, a lesson when I’m aware of who I am or I am not, a teaching when I’m enlightened, a button when I’m observant or ignorant and many other subjects depending on what state of emotions I’m in.

Sunset is a call to realise that nothing lasts forever and at the same time thing can be an eternal memory of yours as long as you wish it is.

Alamak…. I become so sentimental because of sunset….

Thanks much, Sunset for accompanying me for some minutes in my long-hour day. I know you travel to the west, please carry my hope to my love and send it back to me the next day through the sunrise in front of my east front door.

May all beings be happy….

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See You Next Year – hungry mood

I would have been to Japan at least 5 times up to this month this year if Mr and Mrs Corona hadn’t come.

Upset? Slightly. Why? Coz I planned to go eating in some restaurants whose food has been shown by one of my YouTube subscribes, and all the plans have to be postponed.

Hey! It doesn’t matter, there is still next year. And in my life the next year is always better than previous  year.

See you, Japanese food! Serve me your best! Our rendezvous is gonna be amazing!

Been drooling watching the Deli Bali’s videos 🥰

Mirror – haiku

If she’s not ready
To see herself. Stop giving
A mirror. Give gin!

—-

Sometimes you lose your confidence to tell your friend what you truly know about what happens to one; not because you are afraid of losing a friendship, but just because you know that one will lose one’s confidence by seeing one’s own true face.

Ya, sometimes you will sacrifice your position – before someone you keep doing yourself a stupid idiot (please excuse my language to myself) who will only act as a yes-friend to make someone get more and more drunk with fake realities.

A good friend, are you?

May all beings be happy….

FE14B09D-E4D3-4DA3-A9ED-C40B580FC3EC

Milk and Honey – smiling

Ants under a book
Crawl about into a nook,
Escape from a look.

I’d been struggling with happy ants on my desk. A group of ants were nesting under a book and even after some effort they were stubbornly staying under that particular book.

I didn’t get it but now I do.

I lifted the book and moved it to another place and magically no ants came back. I put another book to where the “problematic spot” is in. No ant came back! Until now….

When I checked the book that attracted the happy ants, I found the title is “Milk and Honey”.

May all beings be happy 😜

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What Makes Weekend Weekend

Waking up (very) late
Relaxed
Watching movies or YouTube videos
Trying some new recipes
Changing the bedsheet
Cleaning all rooms in the house
Eating out if feeling bored with my own food
Joining online classes
Or going to Kinokuniya
❤️
And…..
…. doing my laundry 💔
…. all in all my weekend is like my working days except for the laundry things.

A complete package is always with at least one unpleasant thing!

May all beings be happy

Empty Talk of Friendship between Self & Love – ranting

There are times when you feel people pass by you igniting some fire inside of you. Oops! Not you, it is me. There are times when I feel people pass by me igniting some fire inside of me. And that day is ruined, work isn’t fun, chores aren’t fun, good movies become boring, good books become rubbish, many things become lousy.

This evening I looked at the face in the mirror, scrutinised the body line, touched the thinning hair and felt the throbbing core in the chest. Closing my eyes, those faces of people igniting my fire jumped and jolted out of my head…. And some inner songs are sung to the Self.

Dear Self,
All coming to you as Teachers with different what and how.
Some people come teaching with words.
Some others come teaching with actions.
Some others come teaching with emotions.
The others come teaching you with the combination of those.
You’ve gotta accept those people lightly ‘coz they are just Teachers.

Oh, Love
I don’t feel like having Teachers anymore.

Dear Self,
Then take them as Messengers.
All the words, actions and emotions are lines of messages, prophecies, justification, validation, rectification…. Or even judgement for you, on you, to you.
Just take them as Messengers and let them go freely and lightly. Don’t hold on to who they are. The messages and the way the messages are brought to you is more meaningful than the Messengers.
Let the Messengers go. They need to send messages to other human beings.

Oh, Love.
I know now.
My hair becomes grey and thinning because of the ugly voices.
My skin and flesh becomes flabby because of the cruel hands and feet.
My eyes and smiles become dull and gloomy because of the laughter and anger.
Those are all the reflections of my own deficiencies, not those Messengers’.
I care too much on who and whom and that has made me so tired like Heaven.

Dear Self.
Now that you know….

Oh, Love.
I don’t know

Dear Self.
But you said you know….

Oh, Love.
Let me revise. Now I know that I just need to see thing as it is, not adding assumption, perception and loading emotions….
That way I liberate myself.
That way I unlearn what have blinded me from the reality.
That way I accept things as they are.
That way I judge things neutral.
And that way I can live lightly.

Dear Self
Good!

Oh, Love.
Nothing is good or bad.

Dear Self.
You start to talk wise like me.

Oh, Love.
Aren’t I you?

Dear Self,
Stop.
Time to eat your fried tofu then sleep….

Oh, Love.
You are wise and know what I need….

—-

Note to Self: sometimes you don’t have to take life so heavily; otherwise, your head will explode before its due date. Eat then sleep! 😁

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Wither – music and lyric

When the dream has fallen down
Let it go.
Move on.

Though not wither, hope can dry out and burn itself down like forest in heat fire….

May all beings be happy.

Who Are You? – ranting

My dear Self,
You are not what you have.
You are what you do.

Oh dear Love,
Why do you keep reminding me to be one that is difficult to materialise?
Do I have another option?

My dear Self,
You have all possible options.
Be what you wanna be
But what you have should not define you.

Bloody hell, you Love….
But ok…. I will do.

May all beings be happy.

04BE0FBB-9A2E-48AD-B62E-B45563A92867

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