graphs of my Universe
I don’t fully know
You
But I know your secret
That I’ll keep forever
Even if I’m unpaid.
A lovely secret about
You
And I learn myself through it
That I’ll only talk over
When it is legit.
What secret?
I won’t tell.
I can’t tell.
Although
You smell.
——
many use different ways to keep things secret — one of them: flush it!
Caution, Beloved
Walking down the hill with care.
Climbing hasn’t ended.
——
going downstairs is oftentimes more risky than upstairs — my father’s last words to me before he died was “…. be cautious”
I love a girl
Within
Who excites
About life.
She naively says
Whatever
That is bitter
Or sweet.
Sometimes it hurts
However
She is worth loving,
No pretender.
This lovely girl
Furthermore
Is a loyal companion
No doubt.
——
We might look weak to some; we might look strong to the others. We might never look good to many. That’s not important.
The most important thing is we know there is honest part of us who will poke our sight again and again to keep us on the right track.
Love yourself first. 😀
Salaam.
Abby is so gorgeously naive; every one of us has one within 💕 don’t kill the child within 💕
It is until
Something pokes the very eyes
That eyes believe
Facts hurtfully bite.
The eyes that glowed
Are the same eyes weeping.
The lips that sweetly smiled
Are the same lips bitterly grinning.
This heart sings an elegy to itself,
A broken heart sinking.
The head that insisted
Is the same head accepting.
The feet that stayed
Are the same feet away walking.
The hands that clasped together
Are the same hands up surrendering.
The road that sprawled
Is the same with the dead end.
Life is a tragedy
For those who love while blind.
——
this girl is me when seeing a fact yet scared to accept the fact until seeing someone I trust seeing and accepting the fact — that’s how love can make a person dumb 😀
naive is not so far away from stupid 😝 i accept me as one of those
There is a home
That no one refuses
Through series of rejection.
There is a home
That many dream as grand and proud
Through sweats and tears.
There is a home
That all thank for
Through blessings and trials.
There is a home
That one gets shelters and hugs
Through age and moment.
There is a home
That one lives in
Alone and together.
——
Disclaimer: a ranting from a head full of dreams through 2 thumbs — please read responsibly, beware of jumping contexts, connect the dots carefully
——
There are 3 homes that a Javanese should build within her/his life time. Those 3 are raga, wisma, buana.
RAGA
Raga means body in Javanese language. It is one significant aspect as it is the materialisation of life that enables life to experience life. There are senses only when life is embodied in this plane. There are emotions only when life experiences in this plane. And that life is manifested in human being body is the next level of blessings that make life live to the fullest as human being is considered the highest level of creature whereby lowest to highest qualities gather.
There are three layers of raga according to Javanese tradition: physical body, mental body and spiritual body. Which is to be taken care of? All, no exception as three are making the home.
This is the first home that should be built by a human being. Connection to her/himself is the foundation. Contribution to life is the pillars and walls. Dedication and devotion is the roof. The rest is optional.
Connection to self: with all the needs for survival, acknowledgement, justification, compliments and other external alignment; human being tends to forget to talk to her/himself, thank to her/himself, listen to her/his true self. S/he ignores the self as long as s/he feels pride and externally justified. I don’t say it wrong; yet based on my own experience connecting to self through honest conversation with my own self is the only way to realise that this very body is the safest home.
Connection to my self is a needed foundation to have more genuine and stable contribution to life. Not easy but doable—
Contribution to life: appreciate others, help others, support others, be genuinely kind, let go off others’ negative impression about self — and the like. I used to bear all those as burden until finally I realised that proper connection to myself is a key to my contribution to life.
When I was younger, I protected my ego and pride as if others would snatch them away. When I was younger, I would not tolerate others who behave slightly different from what I expected. When I was younger, I would not show genuine affection to others as I was afraid they would misunderstand me — bloody hell as if I was a perfectly beautiful or truest creature on earth 😝
It has taken almost all my life to be genuinely kind even to my own self. It took me brutal honesty and judgment and rejection and humiliation and disrespect from my own self and from others. Yet I am ok.
It has taken and will continue taking time to bring my self to where “the existence is as much as the non existence”. I will be patient with my self.
Dedication/devotion: complaining is one highest skill of many human beings where I am now living. I can say I’ve learnt this (new) skill here. Paradoxically I also learnt to be more sincere and to complain the least. The massive complaining vibe has taught me that the dedication to what we are doing regardless how hard it is is like polishing a stone to finally expose a gemstone in the core — I had verbally complained lesser and lesser until finally I can tame my self to not complain without and within.
I devote my life through what tasks assigned without thinking how much the contribution to life materially is as long as I know it is to enrich my and others’ life. I will continue doing what I am doing until I cannot so what I am doing.
💕
WISMA
Wisma means house or home.
Why wisma? Why not greha/grha (not graha)? Greha/grha refers to building, while wisma refers to both building and a place to rest.
So, wisma is a house that makes a Javanese being her/himself with those s/he commits to spend her/his true self in certain period of life time, to rest from all the outside world that might have degraded her/his being human. Whether the wisma is owned or rented, it is not a matter; the matter is it can give shelter and peace to the dwellers— both should be guaranteed.
What about being homeless? While some travel from one place to another “to find her/himself”, a home is paramount for all Javanese to finally go home; and being homeless is not a preferred condition. For common Javanese homeless is an indicator of disconnection (from self and/or from family/community and/or from environment/universe).
It might be a culture that changes over time. Young people prefer buying other things first before buying home. It doesn’t matter, they perhaps find home in those.
🙏🏼
BUANA
Buana is the world, the earth in particular as a nature.
When Elon Musk said he wanted to move to Mars, I could understand. This earth is probably not feeling home to him (and some people who know what is really happening to certain level of global situation) and so he needs to find a new home where life can be safer and more controllable.
The earth has been exploited and I’ve been part of it with my liking to clothing and paper books. The earth has been tortured and I’ve been part of it through the fossil fuel consumption and the craving of cheaper prices of almost everything.
What have I done to take care of this home? I can just do the least: using as least plastic as possible, keep my space clean and hygiene, use environmentally friendly products for primary stuff, eat organic food when possible, support animal welfare causes and plant more trees in my own garden.
Not so much I can do yet that’s a commitment to love Mother Earth.
💕
Yet I still feel dragged to be in those 3 homes. I feel like trudging with shackles around my ankles walking to where I am not feeling good and well appreciated. I am not yet prancing enjoying being home.
It doesn’t matter, I will be patient to this human side.
Happy weekend! Laundry is waiting 🥰
Salaam.
3 homes, 3 sources of freshness, 3 balancing points
All these are borrowed,
I’ll have to return all.
Let me borrow humbly,
So all won’t make me fall.
So much has been blessed to,
So much has been given to,
So much has been here now for,
This life.
It’s all what is,
And I accept.
I give up all struggles
To travel light.
Thank
You.
——
The Corrs
Baking that heals 💕
my productivity outside office 💕
not bad at all! 💕
with matcha as my cocoa is expired 😝
new yeast was not yet into my day, the doug didn’t rise as expected even after 3.5-hour rest 🙃
two types of flour for one recipe
feeling better with baking — trying new yeast that I’m not friendly with
Life is bitter sweet
For sense that is alive,
Willing and happy to taste
Whatever that is served.
Enjoy.
Life is full of tastes
From all directions
Enjoy.
Life is worth tasting
Until its completion.
——
enjoy! carbo please….
healthful food is food from my own kitchen
bitter gourd with sweet chicken filling
green and fresh
Do what you want
Just don’t touch my thing,
Said I.
I moved your thing
But I didn’t take it,
Said wind.
Sometimes naked words
Are taken as a wrapped joke,
Said I.
No one said anything
As it is just a blowing wind
Missing me one day.
——
two days of sick leave and when i was back to work, my cats and boxed stone were re-arranged by heaven knows who
maybe my cats climbed up or jumped 😝
original arrangement 💕
Loosen up,
Beloved
Between sunrise
And sunset.
Breathe in,
Beloved
Inhaling love,
The colourless.
Halt here,
Beloved
Enjoying void
That’s alive.
Breathe out,
Beloved
Exhaling blessings,
The colourful.
——
AgnesMo reminds me that whatever season it is, don’t forget to insert a space to have fun — thanks, Agnes although my way is so much different from yours 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
This Javanese adage means more or less a human being who is able to understand clearly with very little explanation.
Janma or jalma: human being
Limpat: agile, intelligent
Seprapat: one quarter
Tamat: completed, full, comprehensive in oneself, an end
This type of human beings is considered able to see the big picture of certain perceived matters up to to sense what details are needed to solve the questions within the matters. And the people are considered able to do it with very minimum instructions from others. In a nutshell this type is EXCEPTIONALLY talented/gifted.
In Javanese wisdom the comprehensiveness of this agile human being include one’s integrated personality and identity. With only scientific intelligence an agile person is considered not comprehensively addressing an issue; s/he must be spiritually intelligent as well. So sh/e must be a person who has been wised up by life.
There are some characteristics that might attach to this type of human being. I won’t talk about all; one or two probably.
One personality trait attached is low key, humble. It is a norm that this type of person with one outstanding quality will not boast of what one can do. There is only observing what happens around and seeing if any help is requested then one will do what’s needed to achieve the agreed goals.
This type of Javanese will not say to others “I will prove it” or “Yes I did it”. Nope! For one glorified victory is not important as life is not a competition. There is no “Fear Of Missing Out”. Yes, one admits “You Live Only Once”; yet at the time for the kind of soul life is forever. Life is forever — either based on incarnation concept in which karma makes a soul re-incarnate, or based on utilitarianism concept in which human being should die leaving good legacy. For sure one knows life is not a play to win greedily but it is a play to finish wholeheartedly.
Anyways this janma limpat seprapat tamat is rarely found nowadays with loud-boast showy characters becoming one condition of popularity and/or favour in “like-dislike” culture in social media. Human beings gradually leave this old “skill” and grow to become a species that craves for fame and treasure. Unfortunately….
all parts of coconut tree are useful, that’s the life of janma limpat seprapat tamat human being 🙏🏼
I did meet a few senior Javanese men and women of this janma limpat seprapat tamat. One of them was my late uncle. He passed away leaving great legacy — humble loving cousins of mine and beautiful family history of ours. He was born to an affluent family yet he acted social, wise, humble, kind ordinary person. He helped neighbours needing help, supported younger siblings to succeed life and to love family wholeheartedly. He was our story teller of our family unwritten humble history. I am content to know from him that our ancestors were influential yet choosing to take side of the low class people and so decided to live at the edge rather than in the centre.
What can a janma limpat seprapat tamat do?
Most people believe this type knows what will happen before it happens including but not limited to one’s own death time and/or place and/or manner. Although the person one’s self might not think it is important, it is scarily incredible. To this type the most important thing is able to make decision that will make surrounding “not meet danger” rather than “fight against danger”. To this kind of soul life should be flowing rather than flooding.
This type of Javanese human being also does a lot of fasting. One considers fasting as a way of life. One eats very little. One sleeps very little. One enjoys mundane life very little. One looks like ordinary people but one resembles a saint. Humanely normal outside, sacredly extraordinary inside. One one’s self in one’s own self is like lotus growing in the mud, rose blooming among thorns, clean eel living in the muddy pond — living normal beautifully in one’s own high level of humanity.
As a Javanese do I want to reach the quality?
Although to be a janma limpat seprapat tamat is incredible, I don’t want to be at that super level now. I want to be an ordinary Javanese who is able to have rather relaxed life — eating when hungry with occasional fasting, napping when sleepy with occasional overtime, traveling with suitcase although sitting in (premium) economy class for my personal trips. My life should be living in moderation — not as the poor, not as the billionaire. Hey! I also want to die when I’ve let my own self go although I might not know when and where and how.
Salaam.
❣️
Some days are heavy
Unload! Refresh! With some rest.
A break is a bridge.
——
when ill, eat more — fried rice! 😝
and rather unhealthy — greasy, a lot of quail eggs 😎
When I was a girl
I admired my mother’s beauty;
Being a juvenile,
I admired my sisters’ and girlfriends’;
When adult,
I admired my idols’;
Getting more mature,
I admired flowers’;
All of which forgetting
The beauty in front of the mirror:
Now I admire no one’s,
But I appreciate everyone’s;
All through realising
The beauty reflected in the mirror.
——
beauty after beauty
beauty refreshed
tell your beautiful self “Thank you!”
A home is a breath
Haled in and out, slow and deep
Kindling sparks within.
——
Home is a house that I build very slowly with deep thought. The amount of energy put there is a number one priority about my future — I even pause almost all my personal travel plans this year in order to totally focus on this project full completion.
Bless me, dear Life.
Thank you!
💕
This is magnificent! So much money and thought must have been put to finally materialise this home. Very unique and serene! The “99 doors” must be symbolising the 99 attributes of God in Islam, the 99 names reflecting feminine and masculine qualities of God in the teaching. 🙏🏼
Do i wish to have this type of home? Javanese modern, yes but my home would be much smaller and humbler. 🙏🏼
The only resemblance of this one to my mini Javanese home is the wood that were bought from antique collectors, the greenery and the homey atmosphere. The rest is just two poles apart.
I am thankful to have a second home that shows the me in its character (my tiny home in Greater Jakarta is an industrial mass production that is definitely not me)
And I am charmed by the Javanese home belonging to Ms Farah.
I’m high
Of thinking of
You that hums and chants
Nature of love
Spraying peace
Around my orbit.
I’m high
Of rotating on my own self,
And revolving around
You.
——
not so high a stack but it took three hours to do so — yes, i’m slow Iron Woman 😁
Sunset,
When you greet,
You greet with messages
To see an end
As a start,
To see brightness
Wrapped in some dark,
To feel some doubt
As a protection.
Sunset,
Not long after you
I will sleep
To dream what I can’t achieve,
To release what I can’t detach,
To kiss my beloved,
To travel to where your sister
Sunrise gives back
All what rest.
——
today’s beautiful sunset 💕
pretty wind chime from Bogyoke Market, Myanmar that has been light and sound reflector since 2018 — thank you for today!
I stand on a sheet of paper
Full of flying poems
That tell me
That life is just like
That.
I stand in front of a mirror
Full of dancing shadows
That tell me
That real is just like
That.
I stand across the bridge
Full of swimming hopes
That tell me
That memory is just like
That.
I stand on a piece of heart
Full of singing loves
That tell me
That dream is just like
That.
I stand next to a bucket
Full of listed completions
That tell me
That failure is just like
That.
I stand with myself
Full of cries and smiles
That tell me
That success is just like
That.
Be just right,
Not less,
Not more,
As life is just like
That.
——
I never wanted to visit Korea until one colleague sent me a photo of library near our office in Seoul. Today he reminded me again about the library and told me to go there soon as he is moving to another location soon and might need to travel long to bring me to the library.
But he also said “Library is just like that. The most important thing is its collection, not its building.”
“And the building is like in the photo? Just like that?”
“Yes. It is just like that. You’re still welcome to Korea though.”
“Sure! Scheduled.”
🙏🏼
thank you!
Rajungan Curry to welcome my weekend
——
not perfectly tasty but good enough for my first time cooking rajungan
the longer the boiling time, the tastier the rajungan meat 😍
in the rajungan
add coconut milk, let it boil
fried in coconut oil — heavenly fragrant!
clean them once again into the interior
after minor cleaning, boil for 5’
herbs
i hate to see them tied in rubber bands; they were unconscious actually (frozen) — rajungan, flower crab in English
Rest. Rest. Rest in peace, Coco Lee.
Thank you for your songs.
Salaam.
🙏🏼
💕
I first saw his works in Amsterdam and Paris in 2017 — stunning and extraordinary! So when “Van Gogh: The Immersive Experience” came to Singapore, I didn’t think twice to go.
While there was so much to enjoy, the huge room where people can just relax within the expo before continuing their look-around or after doing it was my favourite.
This video was of my first entry to the room. After enjoying the Van Gogh VR experience, I went back there to enjoy the time before finally left the expo: children playing, adults chatting, some sleeping, even a lady dancing. There was serenity in this dark room full of Van Gogh’s colours virtually projected to the walls by technology.
I am blessed to be there.
Thank you!
Salam.
🐣
Evening awaits
Trippers who miss home. Hurry.
Go home happily.
——
good evening, commuters — go home happily 💕
never bored with this angle; whatever weather, whatever colour — i love to be home 💕
Written on a board
Dreams as deep as memories—
Now is calling me.
——
i wish to write this in one ema for JLPT N5 😂 someday 🐣 yet i don’t want to lose my today, the best day i have every day 💕
In a bottle of perfume
You are the heart note.
In a cup of coffee
You are the acidity.
In a full course meal
You are the entree.
In a life of a human
You are the love.
——
stronger with YOU
My life is sugar cane
That I chew in summer day
Before singing.
My life is honeycomb
That I suck in rainy day
Before whistling.
My life is a bowl of ice cream
That I dig in on a quiet day
Before humming.
My life is sweetness of heart
That I choose
Before resting.
——
i wish to be back someday to enjoy it in summer 💕
It’s one fun day out
When colours race with the light
Depicting good moods.
——
life is a gambling for those betting against it
♥️ weekend well spent
💕 much to learn in silent colours
sunflowers ♥️
what do you see?
Van Gogh’s bedroom in the asylum
i brought this home together with some souvenirs 💝
While some think selfie as an indication of mental health issues (spectrum of narcissism, unhappy personality, having no friend and so on and so forth), I think it is the best indicator of self acceptance, self confidence, ability to enjoy aloneness, and ability to well capture any possible angles. I also see selfie as another kind of painters’ self portraits.
I believe my opinion is not the right one but I prefer holding it with good will and positive pride. And so my Instagram account is a bin of selfie photos especially when I am in a trip — yet only those I have met physically are welcomed to befriend there. 🙏🏼
While some selfies are truly liked by my family and friends, some others are criticised mostly because of angles that (they said) make me look not pretty although what they said is never an issue for me. I know that life is not always of best expected (often not) and I truly love the way I have looked over time.
♥️
What makes me love selfie even more is that I can manipulate them using Apps; not changing my face to look beautiful (damn there is no need and possibility for that — I am as beautiful as I am) but using them as canvasses to play colours and light.
getting lost? selfie!
super tired? selfie!
loving the day? selfie!
not always happening but accepting what is is a daily goal to me ♥️ selfie!
trapped in a small space yet wanting to capture wide angle 😉 selfie!
I love
When my eyes gleaming
I love
When my tongue whispering
I love
When my nerve touching
I love
When my ears hearing
I love
When my nose smelling
I love
When my sensors working
I love
When my love prancing
I love
When my hope sinking
I love
When my life on going
____
enjoy!!! ♥️ the mutton is hidden like a gem before found 😂
“bake” it 30 to 45 minutes
ready to cook — layering among basmati rice then fried onion then mutton then veggies
this is to cook the marinated mutton before mixed with cooked basmati rice
onion — fried
mutton marinated in yogurt, turmeric and garlic
basmati rice boiled in Indian bay leave, cardamom, cumin seeds, star anise, cinnamon
simple as it is
rike jokanan 
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