Category: love

When's it logical
To use algebra in love?
When something's missing--
I prefer a rose bouquet
With no strict calculation.

life is sweet with roses, even when people say it’s bitter, with roses I can find what’s nice — it’s not about faking or disguising, it’s about qualifying the quantity & quantifying the quality — thankful for what’s there, accepting the gap that’s left 🍀

Diluted by You

Have you heard of
Dilution?
It's when this step toward you becomes lighter & calmer
By the liquefied fear
Through any pressure that comes,
With the dream that vanishes
And hope that makes sense
Because of
You, and
You alone
Waving to me saying
"You've been missed for so long.
Waited like rain in a drought.
Whose name is whispered in silence,
Whose beauty is contained in simplicity,
Whose existence is there is yet there is not.
You're a basket of love,
I've longed for within and without."

is it the clover or the basket that matters? they dilute each other with their existence, or do they blend their beauty? whichever, it’s all simply about you making my journey more meaningful

Book of Love

This book of love, Love
Its pages whisper your names.
Beauty, Majesty--

thanks for the space in life in which emptiness is truly not the empty

Between Raindrops

Between raindrops, Love
I find hope and fear meet up
To climb a mountain.

feeling the gap between raindrops isn’t as easy as clapping hands 🍀

Messages

Messages, my love
Flash fast on an unseen path.
This heart vibes at yours.

Love is Me

A young girl, I thought love is coming to me
Then I found that they are flying off of me. Emitting-- 
From my sweater,
My hair,
My skin,
My flesh,
My bone,
My heart,
My soul.
I'm breathing it.
Living it:
I'll never run out of
Love.

💕

Passage of Time

Time has passages
Walked by hearts with decisions.
Sloping and climbing--
Love welcomes what's been waited
Without payment and complaints.
The meadow grows green.

time gives me space to grow without asking me to pay how much ever I’ve learnt in the journey & without complaints how long I’ve had to reach a point of understanding

time allows me to grow from nothing to fly up above any layers of skies where nothing is empty or empty is nothing

time itself is so kind & patient, so much I’ve owed to time so the only thing I can do is keeping repaying to it by treating it gently & truly

dear, Time…

…. wherever you are,

thank you

🍀

have a good weekend, WordPress

Fun To Watch

Learning, love, Poetic, Those People

It's fun to watch
Someone who misunderstands
And walks to nowhere to be found.
Congrats!
You think it's my lust,
But it's a trust
That loving
You, just
You, not you
Is just.

panas, panas, panas….!

🥰

Love (ranting)

If I am to mention what’s my super power, it’s to love & to accept my life as it is.

What is love?

I used to think love was only that among family members. Then I grew it as a flower in a garden of family and friends. Then it grew to romance. Now it’s as wide as humanity & life. What a growth I’ve deliberately realised when I’m grown up.

Today love itself has taught me how it is a fuel to accept what life is and at the same time to keep the journey on. Love is never that that discourages human being to hope for the best. Love is never that that deflates the hope to keep believing that humanity prevails.

Sometimes love feels so tiny that it can only give me a small hole to see a faraway land with a beautiful meadow. It feels so depressed sometimes that it can only make me breathe the thin air to feel the freshness of breeze in the mountain.

Yet most of the time love is huge embracing this heart to smile and to dance and to prance above the path of life. It highlights what’s bright in a dull moment. It balances what’s tailing, spinning, diving and loopy like a kite flying unsteadily. It makes these eyes see what it is, no drama, no excessive handling– just being a stable self, loving, living.

Love is an action to load daily activities with meaning and purpose, how trivial the action is. Love is a willingness to share with others in silence or in crowd with little to no attention seeking. All not easy, but doable–

I can only write about love because that’s the only thing I can talk about.

Work is something I can only share with my colleagues. Charity is something I can only share with those rightful to receive. Love is for all around me.

Celebrate love! It’s as spacious as a weekend.

☘️❣️

a petal of rose like cherry’s, sways in autumn to mark surrender

☺️

If…, It’s You

Learning, love, Poetic, Those People

If
You disappear from the world,
There will be only me.
What would I do?
I'll create
You.
I did create
You with so much love
For myself as if it's from
You.

If I have to lose anything, I'll let it be
You. Not because I don't have enough love for you.
It's simply because I can always create
You.

this epilogue is powerful

Garden in This Heart

I'm water whose splash
Cleans wounds in my own heart.
I'm fire whose spark
Burns wounds to immediately heal.
I'm wind whose blow
Dries wounds to end the pain.

Dear, Beloved.
Let me meet a true heart who as well has become water, fire, and wind to one's own self.

Dear, Beloved.
Let us walk and sprint together in all trails and at the finish line meeting
You.

Dear, Beloved.
This heart is a garden where nature starts a cycle to end, ready to welcome the next cycle.

This year.

leafy ring 💎

This Heart

This heart is the earth
Who will bury stories, gossips, complaints, grievances to the depth
The very deep.
Layers of soil will dry,
Solidify,
Carbonize,
Fossilize
In peace.

Then miners come
To liquify what's solidified.
Diamond, sapphire, ruby, quartz....
Name more.
They're dug up
To the surface
Beautiful and shiny
Like love, hope and protection.
Yet some are glaring
Like pride, arrogance and domination.

Dear,
Heart.
Slip in my deepest self
And never open the doors.
It hurts to be mined.

Love is always precious like diamonds that adorn little life. Yet I’m resting after the diamonds are scattering on the floor, clinking around, rolling, some unfound….

The are some pieces left. The last to be guarded please the last….

And It’s Holiday

Holy, Beloved
The days through which I walk through
Life and her stories.

This Heart

This heart, Beloved
Is the star constellations
Glow when she's so dark.

This heart, Beloved
Glows constantly in the dark
With hope, love and fear.

Hidden Gem

Hidden gem, my love
Glows in this heart telling tales
About hidden love
That might never find her nest.
The voiceless gets more silent.

Today my friend brought me around Jogja. The most interesting part was of course Pasar Beringharjo (Beringharjo Market) in which whatever souvenirs from Jogja are completely displayed. The most I love about this market is “ibu-ibu gendhong”, the women who sell their service to carry the people’s (both traders and shoppers) stuff from one point to another. My friend works in the NGO that advocate them to get better access to better rights as informal workers. The women (we call them buruh gendhong: female porters) know my friend very well so I always get the chance to say hi to them every time I visit some markets in Jogja & be given directions which best traders I can go to get the best products.

Today they showed me a hidden gem, a small corner where old-aged batik sheets and tradion Javanese kebaya are traded. What a blessed day today was!

How should I have felt except thankful? It was a good bargain– just with less than SGD50 I got a package of pretty apparels that I will wear to attend Christmas party in my cousin’s home.

kebaya, old batik sheet & an obi belt of Sido Asih batik

Thank you!

My cold heart got warm with the shopping spree and meeting the female porters who are the true representative of humble life itself.

God bless you, Ibu-Ibu & Mbah-Mbah Buruh Gendong. 💕

Arranged

Beautiful, my love
The arranged colours and scents--
The heart shines brightly.

pretty like me 😁

Life Is Poetry

Life is poetry
Singing songs to a quiet heart
To be pretty noise.

me trying on the “Booty on mega mendung” batik

Faithful

Show me, Beloved
That it's real and right and true.
Says a shy lover.

The Quran is always a good advisor to me. It never lets me down.

When I’m so doubtful of self worth, it always sends me encouragement to be always faithful to what’s shown to me, without others’ validation or justification. Trust me an ordinary human being in whatever age period will still question herself when a strong blow of question “who do you think you are? know your worth” comes to her especially from those who are supposed to at least “shut the mouth”. 😁❣️

What a day!

This verse that randomly opened just now is QS Assajdah #24. For those reading this as outside world this verse is about leaders in a group; yet to me as the Quran can always be about what’s within, this is about leader within me which is the Heart.

The heart will only lives and be alive only when the whole body agrees to be patient and trust what’s shown through the existing senses. Be patient, dear self. Trust the process and the symbols and signs shown to you.

I will just walk to where love and compassion is leading me. Be it real. Be it true. Be it right.

Amen.

💙

Enlightened (ranting)

Pages of a book
Dog-eared, yellowed
And wrinkle
Of fingers stroking--

I’m not a religious person yet I love checking holy books, books about local faith around the world and writings about philosophy. To me wisdom scatters everywhere; it might not be the best sources of wisdom but reading them has opened my horizon of thinking and I’ve become an open-minded and free thinker to some extent.

There is one more thing about checking those books is getting personal advice that I can’t get from even the closest people around me– not because I don’t trust their love to me but I don’t trust their level of bias in analysing my situation. They are not open enough to accept me who is very open in thinking yet very morally guarding to my own self (two paradoxes my closest people still can’t understand up to now). That’s why I “consult” the Quran, the holy book aside from Bible that I’ve been familiar with since I was young (my father was a Christian).

Today I felt the need of consulting the Quran; I prayed, recited Alfatihah the opening suuraah of the Quran, greeted those I respect in life, took a short silence and randomly opened the book.

Here is the answer from the Quran.

QS Annuur #38

That Allah may reward them [according to] the best of what they did and increase them from His bounty. And Allah gives provision to whom He wills without account.

My heart stopped doubting. Is it because of the Quran? Is it because of to whom I prayed? Is it because of my trust? Maybe one of them. Maybe all of them. And I don’t want other possibilities because I won’t let myself doubt what’s been confirmed.

Thank you, dear Quran for being my closest friend, a book that opens all the doors of light. I might not be religious but you’re always the #1 consultant I’ve turned to for the past 33 years and probably will be for the rest of my life.

Light, light, my heart becomes so light.

Thank you❣️

Cracked (ranting)

Don’t crack under pressure. Maybe only “that watch” can do that; while most including human beings definitely crack under certain pressure like ceramics that can even break simply because of some delicate qualities that should crack to let some component of life lessons enter the inner realm of the pressurised persona.

I don’t mind cracking under certain pressure as long as life lessons can smoothly diffuse themselves into the liquid vortex within. Then as gold in kintsugi, they mend what’s cracked leaving golden map showing myself where to find a way of acceptance & letting go.

If I don’t crack, I will always look perfect with no guilt splashed, no criticism slashing, no confrontation exercising, no discussion & argument heated then calming, no accountability assessed. Looking perfect as a being accumulate some layers of avoidance to make mistakes, emotional exhaustion, failure of focused self reflection, forced compatibility even within self, self centernedness. Oh no! I prefer being an imperfect persona in front of many rather than being a looking perfect with so much burden within.

Being imperfect doesn’t mean I’m bad. It just shows me that I’m a human being and it’s fine to look ugly sometimes. As a human being I want to be vulnerable so I can be as playful as possible genuinely; so I can speak my truth with ease in a sweet way; so I can love other human being with no shame; so I can be as imperfect as nature wishes me to be outside my work (hallooow at work I need to be perfectly doing what I’m assigned for sure)!

If only I can directly tell some of human beings I know how perfect you’ve been looking and you need to stop being perfect, I’ll tell you wholeheartedly while assuring that you are free to be you the condition that you agree to heal together with no pretense and that you agree to be true to life.

Dear humans, you’re a ceramics not that watch that won’t crack under pressure. You deserve to be kintsugi decorated with golden map showing love where to flow.

Yes, I love to get answered as an answer is like lacquer reassembling cracked ceramics and yes I give myself answer because I deserve vulnerability, my own vulnerability; truth, my own truth; honesty, my own honesty– with love and respect.

Yes and I’ll let my heart crack again with better understanding and acceptance why it should crack then let life apply kintsugi on me.

Life is just like that…. 💙☺️🌻

this is me, imperfect & vulnerable as I’m kintsugi

☺️

kintsugi in a nutshell

Mandarin Duck

Mandarin duck swims
Through calm water to the edge
Welcoming the breeze.

my small work of art to be, “the lone swimmer, love bird of the east”

Light

Life is just like that. Like what?
Like whatever she perceives--
Be she fun,
Or gloomy--
Be she colourful,
Or dull--
Be she letting go,
Or attaching--
Be she alone,
Or together--

Life is just like
Her in whatever version
She wants her to be.

my life shall be as light as my heart can be

I’ll always unload things unnecessary to clutch on as those things will only make my steps drudge while I’d be glad prancing

only with love….

….and love only

whatever they say….

….how much ever they think

I’m light, moving light, to the light

☘️

Evening

Evening, Love, is
Carnation in a glass vase.
Flickering candle--

Happiness

There's a space
That will always be spacious
How much ever it is loaded.
It's heart,
In which I keep
You as you are.

Sunset That Burns

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

It burns what has been packed
And ready to depart
From where a line between boundaries are drawn.

It burns with love.

It burns with life.

It burns forever,
An eternal flame.

it’s the 40th day of my mother’s passing today and we commemorate it through a Javanese traditional ceremony, assimilated with some Islamic tradition

one of the menu in the ceremony basket is “kacang cenggereng” (fried peanuts) which is not only a snack but also a symbol

it’s a symbol of respect to the one passing and hope that the passing is safely welcomed in the next life

yellow is a very suitable colour for my mother’s crossing day as it symbolises happiness

may she be happy to meet her Beloved

terima kasih, Ibu, please send my warm regard to my father

💛

yellow, Ibu 😁💛

Happy Birthday, Ibu

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

Sweet heart, Beloved
Lingers so long, stays alive,
Connects what across.

My mother is supposed to be 81 years old if she’s alive physically. I’m sure she’s happy across, seeing I’m happy. I know she knows I miss her everyday– there is still empty seconds in the morning when I wake up seeing no WhatsApp message from her.

I’ll keep all about you in me forever, Ibu. Love ya much much❣️

Send my best regard to my father who probably is sitting with you all the time talking about you offspring.

Terima kasih, Ibu.

the last screenshot of our video call on Aug 16, 2025

even with just half of her teeth, she still is beautiful

💕

Marble Cake

Marble cake, my Love
Calls me to sweeten my days
With sugar and scent.

marble cake is one favourite of mine; it’s sweet that never fails to make me smile anytime I bite from every slice of it

me is about meaning and my marble cake is not excluded

like marble, it’s layered of taste, chocolate, vanilla, butter, crisp, moist & fluf exactly like memories of my life that is always full of love

once my readers asked me love will bore you and stop you from singing; I said no as my love isn’t about what’s outside, it’s about what’s skin, flesh, bones and marrow, it’s about muscle and about memories– the whole concept and its compliance altogether that will never fade away through known dimension

and love isn’t about someone else other than me, it’s about how layers of truth are formed with all the falling in love and broken heart in life, even the thinnest love & the slightest broken heart

have you ever seen an orchid shows its bud? that’s a thinnest falling in love

have you ever waited a taxi then suddenly the driver cancelled the order? that’s a slghtest broken heart

I’ve been falling in love to someone that’s so special: that’s a thickest love and losing someone that I’ve loved the most: that’s the biggest broken heart

and those in the middle, a lot

yes, my life is like marble and also marble cake, layered with tastes

and I never want to trade it with anything else

☘️

Love Daily