Category: Poetic

The mangos that fly from across the sea,
The nectarines that stare at me,
The plums that hide among their fellow fresh,
The trio that will not stop fascinating me
Until I happily cry
To close the weekend.
Refreshing tears into
Fresh weekend--

what is fresher than a basket of fruit?

Why Love Poem #2

What do I have to write about
You today?
My pen doesn't want to move, she said "The poem about him is like a blinking tiny beacon afar, signing on and off. Hard to read."

What do I have to feel about
You today?
My heart doesn't want to move, she said "The poem about him is like a flickering will of wisps swaying weakly. Hard to follow."

What do I have to believe about
You today?
My mind doesn't want to continue explaining, she said "The poem should be a prose that will take so much time to complete. Hard to describe."

What do I have to accept about
You today?
My soul doesn't give any sign but smiling, she said "The power is not what you need. Only love suits your journey. If not love, let go. Hard to digest."

What do I have to let go about
You, Today?
My life doesn't want to stop laughing, she said "Laugh when gaslighted. Smile when gaslighted. Look when gaslighted. Never strike
back. Stay or walk away. Peacefully. Not as hard as thought or felt or believed or planned."

I stay in the same plane to keep walking with my love poems for you, Today.

life is an opera, the most illogical and grandest one at times

How long do you think I write one poem? Less than one minute up to as long as 20 minutes.

I never use AI. Never and probably will never except using AI is the only way for me to live.

My poem is always about what happens to me or at me. It is always about what I love or not love. Is it always about love? Yes, because the only relevant thing to life is love: it can be romantic love, platonic love, family love, friendship love, dedication to work, compassion, self love, love to Love.

I feel it so flowing when I write love poem, it takes me snap of fingers to make it happen. When I am stressed after some meeting, I will type a haiku. When I am in the aeroplane sleepless, I will usually write love poem in my small book. Writing poem is never a distraction, it is a motivation to get fresher and braver and to perform better.

One more thing: the depth of the poem not only depends on my mood and calmness but also the mood and calmness of the subject recited in the poem. It would be so much calmness when I write about my little brother; much bravery about my sister, much fun about my older brother. My early poems in 2008 up to 2012 is full with expression of depression, around 2014 to 2017’s is energizing energy, 2019’s is liberation and blessings to forward movement. And 2024’s poems feel a bit heavy with a feel of being played around but still flowing rather heavily on positivity.

I kind of enjoy the altered energy everytime the writing of poem involves different stories and objects; so much enlightening inside and giving energy to keep the faith in this silent journey within.

Specifically past 3 months I’ve felt big energy of gaslighting and game playing. I am just observing and doing best to evaluate whether it is what’s inside me projecting my own despair or reflecting a despair from outside me.

No matter what, love poem is still my preferrence.

Early morning letter to self

Teachers

I have teachers in life.
Some make me cry.
Some make me speak.
Some make me walk.
Some make me hold.
Some make me laugh.
Some make me smile.
All make me sense.
All make me think.
One makes me love.

only you, love

making me a human being, not a plant, not an animal, not a geenie, not an angel

I Am

I'm not a prophet,
Not a saint. I'm a human
Accepting a lane.

if i am allowed to choose, i’d like to be in the lane of flower where colours, shapes and scents are with me

but this ability to smell nice fragrance in life is accompanied by the ability to smell bad odors

and so accepting the lane with its duality and paradox is the only way

Touched

This heart has been touched
By a breeze secretly blown
By the air of love.

i will keep learning, unlearning, relearning

life is beyond what eyes can see; even eyes can’t see what’s blocked by a sheet of paper

voice can be cancelled by a block on the ears

touch can be blocked by leather gloves

taste can be blocked by a no to appetite

but this heart will be wide open to inner journey whatever they think, whatever they say, whatever they do

Early morning after QS Arrahman

I Am Replaceable

You can replace me
With another intelligence
Or beauty.
But I worry not,
I am myself a space
That doesn't need a place or
Replace.
If replacing me
Is saving
You,
Please feel free.

irreplaceable you are

How I Love You

How I love you?
Much
How much?
I can't tell you how much but I can tell you how.
My love is not commodity
That you transact about.
My love is not a content
That you measure up.
My love is a river
Flowing as long as you be the channel.
My love is a breeze
Blowing as long as you be the air.
My love is colours
Showing as long as you be the light.
Yet I know the love you wish
Is different.
You want me to be wood to burn,
Water to drink,
Bread to eat,
Game to play.
I feel delighted that you have such fun.
I am waiting for the wisdom to grow.
If the fun outgrows wisdom by the time we travel together, this love will wither before it blooms.
So that's how I love you and how much you need.

RC Gorman’s work of art

Sunflowers To Sun

Their yellow petals
Look out to a Sunday rain
And whisper
"Dear, Sun. Our beauty decorates a home showered by rain, waiting for your ray. Don't hide too long."

sunflowers looking out to a rainy Sunday whispering to the hiding Sun

Show of Light

Tell me, Beloved,
Your light shows me light journey.
These steps are now light.

me and Blue, ready to greet the wet earth after rain

hi, home 💕

what will be across the resevoir?

light on the railway

An Empty Jar

I will love you
As an empty jar
Waiting for streams of words
Telling me stories,
Containing drops of secrets
Petrifying in our soul,
Concocting ingredients of ideas
Writing beautiful love stories,
Catching breeze of affection
Weaving sheet of loyalty.

loving you like i am an empty jar

An Empty Jar

She's an empty jar
Longing for your rain to pour.
Fragrance of dried clay--

what do we want to pour into ou empty jar? blessings or cursing? love or ignorance? up to us–

Why Love Poem? #1

Why love poem, my love?
It's you writing in my heart
That longs for her rose.

My liking to poem started at early age with the pantun jenaka (Indonesian four-lined poem, mostly witty and light) in Bahasa Indonesia lesson book and the Javanese poem contained in mocopat (Javanese traditional songs) and geguritan (Javanese free verse) in Jayabaya magazine subscribed by our parents. I also loved reading books and comics but poetry has given me more room to explore meanings and imagination.

I’ve written diary since I learnt how to compose paragraph. I wrote poems to express emotion that I could not describe through prose because of the emotion complexity and also I wanted to make beautiful expression.

And as I studied Literature in uni, poetry became integrated part of my days. I wrote a lot of poems but most were gone with the paper pulping and the floppy disks rotten.

I used to write poem about nature as I loved Robert Frost, William Wordsworth, John Keats’ works.

Over the time especially when I started reading Rumi and Ibn Arabi, I started to use more word love, beloved, lover and all things related to them. And I also love to use the word river, sea, meadow and some nature related words. It is simply because those words can represent the vibe, nuance, atmosphere and foundation of idea in me.

When I talk about love, is it always about love? Yes, it is always about love because the only topic relevant to life is love.

When I talk about love, is it always about romance? Sometimes? But most of my love poem is about the love within me, the love to life, the love to a reality that I cannot describe but I can only sense both subtly physically and non-physically.

my fondness to love is equivalent with my fondness to the breeze caressing my hair

Some of my friends will tell me “kamu gombal” in English it can mean “you are bullshitting” or “you are flirting”. I don’t mind people say that. I don’t have to explain to those not knowing my inner journey; to those who are in the same journey I don’t need to explain as they know what happens to and within me.

I will not change my love story in this life.

Am I afraid that a man that I love will think I am madly in love with someone else? No! He will know that my love poem is only for him. If he doesn’t know, it means he doesn’t vibe enough love with and for me.

What about if people think I am gaslighting? I also don’t mind although I might get hurt inside. I really don’t mind.

I love love poems and I dedicate the love poems to my Beloved, me, beloved, family and friends and the whole world. Someday if Life allows me to be remembered even after I die, I want to be remembered as a human being who knows love and compassion. If Life wants me to be forgotten after I die, I know I am forgotten in the name of love.

💕

(no edit is applied to this writing, please excuse my typos; i wrote this to wait during flight delay in Svarnabhum International Airport, Bangkok)

Bokor Kencana (batik)

Learning, life, Poetic

Bokor Kencana is a Javanese phrase formed from the words “bokor” and “kencana”. “Bokor” means jar commonly made from metal. “Kencana” or “kencono” means gold, golden. So, “bokor kencana” is golden jar.

While many associate “bokor” with a jar to contain flowers and water in Javanese ceremonies, it is also mentioned in one of Javanese traditional songs (Tembang Mocopat) called “Asmarandana” in which “bokor kencana” is used to describe golden jars carried by the deities whose task is to distribute blessings at the later time of night (midnight to time before dawn).

batik Bokor Kencana from Ibu Tien’s team

To me the “bokor kencana” in Asmarandana song is suitable to describe this Javanese batik pattern.

Javanese people (traditional ones) love to stay awake late at night until early morning because they believe those who give up most of their sleep portion will receive extraordinary blessings especially higher spitituality, wisdom and charisma. Is it true? No one knows if it is truly. A belief is a belief; let the believers prove it. Giving little to no judgement is better.

a full length of Bokor Kencana taken picture by Mbak Izzah

Additionally I read somewhere that this batik pattern is allegedly the one designated to all ranks of Javanese people without exception since its first composition; not only for royal but also for laypeople. Everyone can wear it.

It obviously underlines that this batik pattern is a symbol that everyone can reach higher spiritual/wisdom/charisma level regardless the position in the society as long as they are willing to give up some part of their comfort.

What a relief! At least in this particular area other than time life is fair!

😊

Asmaradhana

Aja turu sore kaki
Ana dewa nglanglang jagad
Nyangking bokor kencanane
Isine dunga tetulak
Sandang kalawan pangan
Yoiku bagianipun
Wong melek, sabar, narima

English translation
Don't sleep early
There are deities wander around the universe
Carrying their golden jars
In which protection prayers are contained,
Also clothing and food *)
Apportioned for
Those awake (sleeping less), patient, acceptant

*) clothing and food is a symbol of basic welfare in Javanese culture. First basic is clothing followed by food then house. Sandang (clothing) comes before food in traditional Javanese culture as sandang means dignity and self esteem. Traditional Javanese prefer suffering from hunger to suffering from shame. Traditional Javanese will not eat your free food if you give the food by showing arrogance or superiority, not because they want to be more than you, they just want basic respect as fellow human beings. This value has shifted in modern era where dignity is defined differently– people prefer eating for free although they have to give up their self esteem. This applies not only to real food but also to modern consummerism

A Date

A date, Beloved,
Gives energy and sweetness
To life. A blessing--

Have a good weekend, everyone❣️

today i had a date with a good friend and her son in Thomson Plaza; while Vito the son was having tuition, his mother and I enjoyed our Korean lunch then coffee in Ya Kun Kaya

then i accompanied them to dentist for teeth cleaning before heading to Columbus for her son’s wafel and our french fries

Thomson Plaza is our favorite place as it is not far from our houses (1 bus, no exchange), it is where her son takes his English tuition, there is no tourist and it is close to Upper Thomson neighborhood where nice cafes and restaurants are located

You

This journey is a quiet seating with
You.
Whether you get stuck or flow or flood, I won't leave
You but
I leave it to
You
Wholeheartedly.

this is me surrendering to

You

take me in your love gently like a breeze in a warm day

Dear River

Dear, River.
Flow
Freely
If you don't want me.
We'll see
Each other
In the sea.

sometimes i am not part of a flow and i am ok…. i will flow with myself beautifully to

You in the sea

Smells Like Spring

My day smells like spring
Not because others give me hope
Not because others praise me high
Not because others lay red carpet for me--
No.

My day smells like spring
Because my senses work through
Your grace
Because my steps walk through
Your bliss
Because my breaths respire through
Your joy--
Yes.

this is not a popular composition but it sounds heaven to my hearing

life is light and smooth when we love wholeheartedly and playfully

i love you…. 💕

You, Too? Or Just Me?

I
Don't know you
But know you.

You fly with the cotton candy
Around me in the sky.
You dive with the schools of fish
Next to me in the water.
You grow with the root
Beside me in the earth.
You are everything around me.

You run with me when I walk.
You swim with me when I play in the water.
You soar with me when I fly.
You are with me everytime.

You breathe with me.
You throb with me.
You vibe with me.
You are everywhere with me.

Everyone might question me
"How dare you!"
Every one will do to me.

I
Know you
But don't know you.

Only time will tell
If your signs are true
Or false.

Only time will tell
When we shake our hands
And say hi.

Only time will tell
If I know you
Or know not.

maybe it is just me living in my dream, and you are the unreached reality

💕

Journey

Journey's, Beloved,
A trip with destination.
Enjoy each moment.

everyone is leaving home to go home, by air, by water, by land, by soul, by spirit, by mind, by heart, by love, by any means…. just going home

Witness

Learning, Poetic, This Person

Witness, Beloved,
Beholds the flow, stuck and stream
Of a river. Quiet--

quietly sitting by a flowing river

Favourite Episode

I love, Beloved,
When laughter's mixture of joy
And hidden strike back.

i love this episode especially when the challenge to eat avocado seed happened

enjoy 🤣

The Master

Learning, Map It!, Poetic, Those People

The Master, Beloved
Shows me how beauty is made
And destroyed. That's life.

Ibu Tien is a senior batik artisan who has been my main source of my Yogyakartan classical batik collection. As a Javanese I never want to even sit at the same level with a master; I will sit at least one level lower from them at least when being in a frame. 💕 She is about 15 years older than me. Other then her Mbak Izzah, Ibu Tien’s daughter in law is another master of Yogyakartan classical batik

Mbak Izzah preparing my package; this stack was not one-time haul, many of them are those started 2 years ago — yes, one sheet of batik can be processed up to two years, mine was because some colouring process was done in another city (Solo) and some batik makers had to pause the batik process to go to rice field (taking care and harvesting rice)

Wukir Sari, Imogiri, Oct 25, 2024

Mbak Fitri is a master of “batik nitik” who becomes my main facilitator for “batik nitik” collection. She is the one introducing me to the senior batik artisans who dedicate themselves to this tradition. I sat down on the floor and made her sit at the chair although she strongly refused; my respect to this master although younger than me. 💕

Mbak Fitri’s artisans at the studio

Bangun Jiwo, Kasihan, Oct 26, 2024

Flow

Learning, Poetic, This Person

I am flowing
I flow
I will flow
And won't stop flowing
until I'm united with
You, the sea.
I'm not afraid.
I'm not too brave, either.
I am just a flow flowing.

as long as i flow, i won’t worry; even if i’m alone as long as i keep flowing to

You

When

When I feel helpless,
I will recite
Your loveliest verses
And send them as gifts
To those closest to my heart, whose life
Is a dedication to parents with
Love equivalent as what they received at childhood.

I am here, now
And lucky
So I shall share love
How subtle it has been.

Dear, Beloved.
Please accept my hollow heart for
You to fill with love,
And love only
How hard it has been.

i wish my ripples are of love and love only

Light At Night

There's serenity
Under the dim light at night.
About I miss you--

dim light decorating night

Brewing Dream

Brewing dream, dear love
Is tea and water in kettle
And temperature.

tea leaf brewed with cinnamon this afternoon

chamomile tea brewed this morning

Slow & Steady

It' slow and steady,
Snails throw a party with me.
Everyone's happy.

look at how they party: slow and steady, they didn’t stop climbing up the plant but i didn’t see their movement but suddenly one was already up on one leaf — fascinating nature

Bloom Wherever You Are

This flower blooms
In a hottest day,
In a beautiful garden,
In a cold hallway.
It just blooms
No matter what.
Just bloom
And come what may.

my driver dropped me in the wrong gate yesterday and just drove away; he drives very well but doesn’t understand English (yes, he is a driver not a tour guide 😁) yet it was a blessing in disguise: i walked a bit and met these flowers on the way — beauty greets me everywhere when my heart is light

red roses in the hotel courtyard, tantalising colour

a pot of orchid, to the lift

Death