Tag: kindness

About A Magic

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person
This love, Beloved,
Blooms to shine within and out.
Don't discriminate.

how deed is your love?

I love. Yes I do love….

…. but very rarely romantically up to this age (4 times).

Among the rare romantic love, what was the most magical?

It was when I fell in love with a (maybe) gay man.

Don’t judge me; I didn’t know he was a gay. Don’t judge him; it was his choice.

Love is love. It is still worth appreciating. I respect everyone’s choice of life including one’s sexual orientation & gender identity (some of my friends & colleagues are in that group) but I am not a person to be in a romantic relationship with LGBTQ no matter what.

Thank you, Love for the experience. I’m lucky to have a big heart. I believe my heart is even now deeper and more spacious with the magic that has happened to me.

Alhamdulillah.

😊

❣️

Things No One Taught Us About Love (book)

Learning

I read Vex King’s “No One Taught Us About Love”. With 302 pages it didn’t feel heavy, yet did give me a lot of space to contemplate.

There are five parts of this book.

Part 1: The Nature of Love

Part 2: First Connections

Part 3: Cultivating Healthy Bonds

Part 4: The Realities of Relationships

Part 5: Letting Go with Grace

I enjoyed reading this book because aside that the main topic is love, it felt like reviewing my own perspectives of love. For perspectives aligned, I feel the author’s vibe; those not aligned, so far I don’t plan to make alignment with his. I always sprinkle a pinch of criticality when reading or listening to others; like me, they’re not flawless. Or, at least his and my understanding of life and love depart from different backgrounds and interactions.

So much to share but here is some:

“Self-love isn’t selfish. When misused, self-love becomes an excuse to fulfil cravings and boost our self-image without considering how our actions might impact others and the world around us. For example…. like telling yourself ‘I’m worth it!’ As justification to buy the overpriced shoes you can’t actually afford when you really need new tyres for the car”. (aligned)

RICH: Respect, Intimacy, Communication, Honesty (aligned)

Be your partner’s cheerleaders (partially aligned, I will be loyal supporters but not cheerleaders who have to be acrobatic in public; it might be his diction is not my take; but I understand.)

Love isn’t transactional. (aligned but honestly I can feel drained if loving without reciprocity; transaction isn’t a taboo as long as it is wisely managed & not always about material things)

Enjoy the “hazy” voice of mine reading several paragaraphs for you. Not a native speaker: few words were mispronounced. 😁

About Aging

Learning, love, This Person

The world keeps spinning.
The body ages with time.
Trip in alignment--

Don’t be afraid of becoming old. Aging is truly a blessing.

With the gray hair I feel wisdom befriends with me. Still I have freedom to dye it to look radiant.

With the wrinkle on the skin I find kindness and understanding unfolds. Yet it is not wrong to put skincare to look healthy and fresh.

With weaker eyes I find my mind is sharper evaluating my self and environment. I can still wear reading spectacles to keep reading to refresh brain.

With less hydrated joints and less dense bones I move more slowly cum gracefully. There is no harm though to do sports regularly.

With fewer friends I still get good updates accurately about how the world spins and enjoy true relationship with little to no condition.

Eventually aging is about knowing that soul will release the physical body when they body is ultimately deteriorated, when time is up. I just need to ensure that this body knows she is never alone or lonely in the separation process.

Celebrate life!

see you next month, Hanoi

About A Year

Learning, life, love, This Person

About a year, Love
Where you're present and again
Giving me all joy-

2024 was such a year! Thanks much for the one year teaching me again to warmly love sincerely with little to no condition: unclear hints that broke my heart. Life is not always about glory; it’s also losing to win lessons.

2024 was about sudden trips & data as professional breakfast & lunch. I see how fast I process biased opinions & immediately detour to the right path! Such a training by & for brain muscles!

2025 is about continuing my spiritual journey with the same foundation: singularity, uniqueness & humanity;

also about doing my life work with dedication & expertise;

sweet friendship with those that respect and love each other as best friend;

about enjoying long weekends in Korine Jati soon & enjoying longer holiday somewhere else;

about keeping sharing the blessings with those around me verbally, materially, intelectually & spiritually in moderation;

& knowing & loving myself again, again, again….

…. all genuinely & with light heart.

Welcome, 2025. I already feel your sweetness.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2025

dear, monkey mind

i don’t regret but it was the most painful moment in 2024 and thankfully i was helped by my life work

i love my messy hair that gets happy with breeze caressing it and my eyes that tell even when my mouth shuts

2024, thank you for bringing Banksy’s works of art to Scotts Road

A Small Gift of I Love You

Learning, love, Poetic


a small gift of i love you

my love to you is as much as the space among drizzles washing off my sadness

my love to you is as much as the pouring rain among the space giving me pure breeze

this weekend has welcomed me with sprinkling blessings like the rain in a desert

each day is a new day when sky opens wider horizon and shows me what i didn't see

do you feel the same?
the space among the rain
the pouring rain
the desert that celebrates
a horizon that keeps widening--

i love you.

thank you for making me smile a lot

πŸ’™

in life i learn to accept that love is sometimes not enough; it takes strategy to make things happen and i don’t want to strategize in love

i don’t want to force because i believe life has given me so much so if i don’t get what i want, it doesn’t mean a loss

that i have the ability to love as sincerely as possible is a huge blessing; that i don’t show it openly, it is to ensure everyone’s safety, dignity and comfort

flow, flow, flow

i love you, i love you, i love you

Scars

Learning, love

There are scars, dear heart.
They stay. Painless, ugly and
Bringing back a day--

some mirrors will remind me of the day these scars were then wounds caused by incidents committed through actions either well planned or lousily coincided

forgiving but not forgetting is not as easy as how i say

have i forgiven? or should i be forgetful?

Love Bond

Learning, love

Love bond, Beloved
By blood or vow is all gift
Embraced and nurtured.

me with my aunt on Oct 27

i paid a homage to my father’s sister in law, my beloved aunt

we call her Budhe Didi, a 90-year-old Javanese woman who is now the oldest elder from my father’s family line; my mother is the other one (80 years old)

she was very happy seeing me and said “send my best regard to your mother, please bring her here to me, i miss her so much, please finish your home soon so i can meet her in your house warming…. bla bla bla”

i could only say “please bless me”

she also reminded me to keep the bond among cousins, nieces and nephews even when all elders (someday) rest in peace

aja sampek kepaten obor (never lose our family bond); it is not an easy job in modern era but i think it is the right way

thank you

❣️

A Big Wave

Learning, Poetic, This Person

This pool is too calm
A dust can cause a big wave.
Chaotic minutes--

sometimes i behave too strongly at work and don’t want to bring the strength to my personal life

unlike in professional life, in personal life i don’t use complex strategies for my plan and goal, i just do things with kindness with a bit of control to protect myself from being cheated

life might be called chains of transaction but in personal life my trade is trade of kindness, i lend and give with kindness without expecting to be repaid — or else, i will not lend or give; i was cheated a lot but i learnt my lesson yet still the only strategy (if i am forced to admit that i am having strategy) is avoidance strategy — again in personal life

consequently i will feel scared or overwhelmed with someone (that i deal in personal life) showing or demonstrating emotion that i usually apply when negotiating at work: cold, no empathy, poker face, intimidating, arrogant, winning all games and the like

this early morning i experienced one and it affected my whole day — i felt like i wanted to curl; the only thing making me survive the day was that i was working and i needed to keep myself professionally composed

what a heavy day personally today, thanks God my colleagues and business counterparts didn’t pay much attention to my expression except one person asking “today you must be tired walking almost 4 hours, you look pale”

there must be a lesson i need to learn in my personal life

πŸ’—

Another Year

Learning, love, Those People

Happiest birthday
To my sacred woman,
Mother.
Please always give
Another year
Every year
For us to pay.

i used to have a difficult relationship with my mother, very difficult; whatever i did was just not acceptable — my choice was her rejection, always

one year to reconcile i asked her to go for major pilgrimage with me but she rejected saying that she was too weak to do (even i offerred the shortest period); but she agreed for a minor pilgrimage — it was to me a cauldron of patience test, and i think the same for her; but we both started to know what was the knot in the rope

i never knew how jealous a mother can be to a daughter who is close to her husband until that day when she said to me “your father loved you more than loved me” — i was very close to my father and now i knew why she wondered why; we both know and accept it now

starting that year our relationship was getting easier and easier until 2018 we were in the peak — i was in my third worst argument in my life with her (1st when i refused to marry a man chosen by her, 2nd when she disagreed with my romance that eventually ended)

since then we started to learn gradually that there was a big misconception about mother-daughter relationship

a mother who thinks that her daughter is a possession should let go; a daughter who wants total freedom should slow down — there shall be a middle way where balance is achieved

and it worked; our relationship is getting better and better — we get along very well, we are relaxed in treating each other

do i love it? yes, except that she will contact me every single day to ask me how i am πŸ€ͺ

happy 80th birthday, Ibu; thank you for being my mother — hope we clean our karma in this life so when we meet again, everything is going smoothly 😘

i love you the way i do you

you know i will never let anyone hurt you

πŸ’—

I Love Who I Love

Learning, love, This Person

I love who I love
With the least of what I feel,
With the smallest of what I give,
With the smile I curve,
With the breath I take,
With the step I make,
With the words I whisper,
With the prayer I hide,
With the biggest I can sacrafice,
With the vastest I can explore,
With the laughter I throw,
With the sigh I disguise,
With the decision I make,
With all I dedicate
In silence
Or declared.

title of my poem above is inspired by none but part of Coldplay’s Jupiter

That planet never stops inspiring me. Thanks, Jupe.

laughter is ripples caused by a heart who wants to tell stories of how life offers so much

i called my mom and could not stop laughing hearing her stories about anything around her: the cat, the relatives, the weather, the broom, the iPhone, etc

she is someone able to make a simple thing nice to hear and laugh at

i never talk about my problem with her and i consider it my job 😁 because her fun can only happen when she knows her children are ok

just by talking with her about how she argued with my sister could make me laugh hard and when finally she asked me “what about you? you ok?”, i would confidently say “iya, Ibuuu….”

i love you, Ibu — you are one of those I so much love

πŸ’—

Home Sweet Home

Learning, love, Map It!, Poetic, This Person

Dear, dear Beloved.
There's a space all dearly miss.
It's a home sweet home.

I’ve tried inserting Jogja between my schedules since forever and now it is a dream-come-true.

There is a long to-do list for Jogja this time: checking if the orchids have rooted to the tamarind tree, eating gudheg, drinking ginasthel (legi, panas, kenthel = sweet, hot, thick in Javanese) tea prepared by my 90-year-old aunt, talking about my garden-to-be with my cousins, going watch Papermoon Puppet show and meeting up with batik artisans.

Yet to make it simple let me call it a not-so-short-but-not-long-at-all getaway to take care of my home project and to breathe the sweetness of village air.

Care to see my plan?

Here it is. Boring? That’s so me! 😊

Oct 25 (Friday)

  • 9:45am arriving in Yogyakarta International Airport
  • noon to afternoon: visiting humble batik artisans: Ibu Tien and Mbak Izzah (any kind of sogan batik) in Imogiri then Mbak Fitri in Kasihan (batik nitik)
  • evening: eating gudheg
  • night: checking in and talking with Mbak Roh (permanent partner in crime in Jogja) on random topics until we fall asleep

Oct 26 (Saturday)

  • whole day with architect (Mbak Novi) in her gallery, my home then finally to Papermoon Puppet Theatre
  • evening: eating gudheg (again?) and whatever
  • night: talking with Mbak Roh, Mbak Endang and Agnes on random topics until we fall asleep

Oct 27 (Sunday)

  • whole day enjoying my aunt’s tea and home cooking in my father’s childhood home in Menoreh Hills
  • evening: eating gudheg (again??) and whatever
  • night: talking with Mbak Roh on random topics until we fall asleep

Oct 28 (Monday)

  • 9:45am flying back to Singapore

I usually either give free class or tell stories to children in a small library in Bambanglipuro, but time doesn’t allow though. Skipped! Sorry, kids…. We love you, but I need to manage adult things this time. Next time ya….

Can’t wait to be home…. Jogja, please warmly welcome me like always.

loving the blue sky! view from the backyard-garden-to-be (June’s doc)

From Johor with love….

Be True

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person

Be true
Being true
True
Self

Thank you, dear life for being so true to me and teaching me how to be.

I felt so heavy this morning. After swimming, I continued preparing a line of chores that were not finished last night. Yet when doing the laundry and some kitchen things, I was “attacked” by a feeling of broken heart and anger that didn’t seem to be from my own experience– I’ve been so in love and blessed recently.

I remember that what we feel is not always who we are, there might be others’ negative energy around us that with heaven knows what reasons the energy attaches to us. So I stopped for a while: talking to myself, talking to my best friend, posting some funny videos to my instagram then meditating for a while. And tada! My mother called me giving me some news about this and that happening around her.

No wonder I’ve felt so heavy and broken hearted.

Now I know I am not broken hearted.

I am filled with so much love and flowing it to those knowing how to appreciate it.

I promise to be always true to this true self and to those true to it.

May all beings be happy.

πŸ’—

Ripples

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person

Water is splashing
Once fallen on to surface.
Lace of ripples be--

negatively perceived by others is not something new for me; many human beings don’t believe in good will or good intention simply because they are trying to protect themselves from being robbed — they think others being kind to them is a strategy to take their power or their money

i’ve met some people accusing me of being kind to rob their money or power; i never explain about my good will or intention and just continue being kind — if they finally recognize the kindness, it’s good for them for knowing kindness; if they never do, it’s good for me for being protected from stupidity

i only want to cause ripples of kindness in my life

A Gift

Learning, Poetic, This Person, Those People

A gift, Beloved,
Wrapped or unwrapped, it will be
Blessings to both sides.

today i met my Tapa Brata room mate, she is a sister in this spiritual and medical journey for me; while she is much younger than me, she is tremendously more advanced in what we both are doing — today she wrapped me a silver jewelry that i right away wore to go dinner with her in PS

thank you for this pretty gift, FO

Blessed

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

She's blessed, Beloved
In the name of none but love
By those knowing love.

almost done with the packing — short getaway somewhere connected with 1-week biz trip to KL

i’ve been in good mood

this was the first time i was kissed and hugged by the CFO of a company after a closing meeting — she said she had heard my name from other counterparts in other branches and she liked the way i defended my standpoint; or, probably she was just being a mother who remembered her daughter

thank you, YW; you are blessed

Trie Utami (only in Bahasa Indonesia)

Learning

Teachers can be those telling me something new to me to understand, those reminding me what I forgot and/or those confirming what I’ve comprehended.

Life is beautiful.

thank you, Abu for always sharing your learning process; thank you, dear Mbak Iie for sharing your journey — you both are blessed

Birthday & Zodiac(s) (ranting)

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Happy birthday, myself.
Continue doing what you love.
If not, love what you are doing with commitment, discipline and some gentleness called love.
Know that every single deed be recorded in a ribbon coiling around you, reviewed and rewarded.
Know that however sincere and true you are,
You sometimes will be misunderstood
Even by those closest to you,
And sometimes explanation won't clear the way.
Just be true,
Be kind.
Or, walk out of the room for a while.
Enjoy your double-life: being one in the crowded road and the other in the silent pathway, always
With some sprinkle of love.
You are blessed.

A moment of happiness, you and I sitting on the verandah, apparently two, but one in soul, you and I. (Rumi)

I am 49 today….

….feeling blessed with what I’ve been given. #andnotgiven

….feeling good with by whom I’ve been surrounded. #andnotsurrounding

….feeling lucky that still looking younger than my age (said one selling me a life insurance and said ones selling me bright coloured dresses).  #paradoxicallyblessed

When people say “age is just a number”, I’ve always disagreed. Age is counted with number to highlight various processes and stories along a linear line although to me life is never linear, it’s always inward spiral. Originally the phrase “just a number” is to comfort those afraid to age, those who think getting old is scary and less favourable. In fact, getting old is fun and blessed. I’ve never thought that I still can have fun at this age, responsibly do what I love to, go to places in bucket list (no backpacking), dress the way I love to, fall in love every single day with myself and those making me love myself more, look forward to dreams coming true, and a lot more. I am talking about getting old, not being dead– the latter is mysterious and I’m still not committed to be πŸ€“

What is the essence of getting old to me? Getting old is a journey ahead of total maturation of how a human being chooses to responsibly respond & tactfully react to given situations; and a journey back home to childlike sincerity within of how a human being playfully celebrates failures and successes of life. I refresh maturity each day, at the same time playfulness and candour.

When birthday comes, people like to remind me of me being Virgo, but am I truly a Virgo just because of being born in Sep? I am not sure, in fact Virgo is in both my sun and moon, my rising/ascendant is Aquarius and several other zodiac signs sit in the other houses in the chart. Actually yes I see at times I am a pendulum swinging from being β€œVirgo’s pragmatic approaches, worrisome nature and rigid ideas” to being β€œAquarian’s free-spirit, living life one day at a time, enjoying here-now moment” and in between I am transiting in different zodiac signs in experiencing this precious life. By Chinese astrology I am a Rabbit. By Javanese astrology, oh sooo complicated!

Particular family members, friends & colleagues quote astrology to assure me that they know my personality when commenting about my behaviours. 

“It’s because you’re Virgo so you are like this,” said they. “It’s because you’re a Rabbit so you are like that”. “It’s because you’re blahblahblah….”

Well, I respect their willingness to at least understand about me through the pseudoscience called astrology. They don’t judge with bare hands, they present something to my hands. Science or pseudoscience to me though must follow my conscience; their opinion might slip from between the pores of my existence, from between fingers of these hands.

Anyways, to my understanding about this self: I simply accept that this person called Rike is a combination of inherited & evolving DNA, family upbringing & social interaction, life experience & trauma, decided responses & reactions, hopes & dreams; which might happen in awareness or not, well organized or random. If astrology does matter, it is only part of all. Once a human being understands one’s self through one’s own self (in Javanese wisdom it includes but not be limited to “mawas diri” or self examination), astrology knowledge is just frills in a gown.

Please don’t get offended by my personal opinion, take it as a stupid if not humble one. 

Whatever strong opinions about or labels given to me –how ugly or how grand– by other human beings won’t change the true me that I experience intimately. I won’t let those labels rob this intimacy. Even all identities I embrace dearly shouldn’t shake this intimacy. Those human beings labelling me and I are raw stones massively tumbled in a giant tumbling machine called life; we each other all hit, break, scratch, polish to finally shine and show the true colours of each of us. How painfully beautiful at the same time beautifully painful life is!

Thank you, Gusti Allah for this beautiful journey called human life.

I know you’ve had boundless repertoire of sweet surprises. Please give me wonderful time like always.

πŸ’•

I Can’t Yet I Can

Learning, love, Poetic

I can't talk about
You all the time,
People will think I am crazy
Or crazy about
You.

But how can I
Stop thinking about
You, while obviously
You are everywhere
I am?

blaming why a plate seems empty but actually full of unseen material

aka

what is wanted is obvious, but there is no way — don’t blame the guest standing in front of the door, blame the host not responding to the greeting

[only in Bahasa Indonesia]

Learning, life, love, This Person, Those People

Found a dearest good friend wrote a touching message in Instagram this evening and would love to keep it here — only in Bahasa Indonesia though

My translation into English might never be good enough to contain how compassionate her message is. You might want to translate with Google.

Note: it is a verbatim text

❣️

bertahun lalu, ketika berkesempatan mengunjungi ka’bah, aku duduk menatapnya lalu berucap: β€œtuhan, tunjukkan aku cara membaca (iqra) alquran. karean aku tidak percaya tuhan mana pengasih maha penyayang se-strict itu.” aku mengacu ke penekanan pada dosa dan neraka yang kerap diangkat.

sejak ituβ€”atau sebenarnya jauh sebelumnya, aku percaya tuhan terus menjawab permintaanku: hidupku adalah tanggapan tak putus dari tuhan atas permintaan itu. dia menunjukkan betapa dia maha pengasih, maha penyayang dan nama-nama lain yang terlingkupi oleh rahman dan rahim.

aku dipertemukan dengan manusia dan makhluk lain (kucing misalnya) yang menunjukkan ragam bentuk kasih sayang, diperjalankan melalui peristiwa-peristiwa yang membantu melembutkan hatiβ€”atau menunjukkan di bagian mana hatΓ―ku masih perlu dilembutkan; dan dititipkan pada sekolah-sekolah yang secara gamblang membimbingku untuk lebih berwelas asih, berserah, dan merayakan hidup dan keagungannya.

manusia sejatinya bisa berjalan sesuai fatwa hatinya; bisa tergerakkan oleh arahan jiwa (spirit)-nya; bisa hidup dengan lebih jujur minimal kepada diri sendiri. utopis? atau bisa jadi pemikiran bahwa hal ini utopis telah membatasi kita?

banyak yang ingin kuceritakan. bukan untuk mengajarkan, karena siapalah aku ini. namun, lebih ke berbagi. siapa tahu ada yang mengetuk hatimu, lalu kau mengetuk hatiku kembali. Sama-sama kita belajar menjadi manusia.

ingin bercerita, tetapi belum tahu bagaimana. kutaruh tulisan ini di sini sebagai langkah awal. atau, mungkin, kau punya cerita, kegelisahan, pertanyaan, atau ide yang bisa melanjutkkan pembicaraan ini?
terima kasih.

❣️

Thank you, dear friend. You’ve touched my heart many times, I hope I’ve at least once done as good as you.

Thanks for making room for me. Always.

Salaam.

Before & After

Learning, life, love, Map It!, Poetic, This Person

Is there anyone
Before
&
After
Me
Leaving
Without permission?

None--

It is a consent that forms
Life,
A period where
You
&
I
Meet at a dot on a ring.

salam, dear shrine where heart and soul escort body to whisper all secrets

Kameyama Shrine

before cleaning – looked like birds loved to bathe and leave some feathers as token of gratitude

after cleaning – no one asked me to clean this, i just felt that i needed to give Japan a small token of gratitude and Kameyama Shrine be the one to receive it

always praying someday I can come back to that shrine. I will tell her that she did give me amazing vibe in my whole visit in Kameyama. Shrines, mosques, temples, churches and other places where human beings whisper their heart and soul out have always been a charm to me.

enso – there’s a dot where two extremes meet and form balance to ensure life flows

Kindness

Learning, Poetic, Those People
Kindness, Beloved
A strand of gemstones glowing.
A gift for my love--

—

arriving home from Malaysia, i found a sukun (bread fruit) as a gift from my neighbours (cleaners, gardeners, security guards) for the 2nd time — need to look for things that can give them smile

thank you, neighbours!

A Guest

Learning, Poetic
A guest, Beloved:
Someone enjoying your home
Then a warm farewell

—

it’ was either me or my friend the guest here; yet we both enjoyed today’s dinner so much

Coincidences

Learning, Poetic
Coincidences,
Unexplained experience
In one fast crossroad

β€”β€”

β€˜M supposed to watch Coldplay in Japan with Vito, my nephew. We’d planned the trip since May; he passed away in July. Feeling desperate and not wanting to go alone, I was about to cancel the trip when coincidently one best friend said she wanted to visit me in Singapore in the week of the supposed-to-be-cancelled trip. I offered her a free Coldplay ticket to go with me. She agreed! And so the trip cancellation didn’t happen. πŸ’•

I am still selecting which photo of his is the best to bring. I want to take picture with his picture before, during and after Coldplay concert and wherever we would have been going in Japan.

Sometimes we live to walk on others’ dreams and those who have the dreams must let go off their dream to be walked on by others. That’s why I always want to live my life with true dedication as not everyone has the opportunity to live this long.

For those living chasing dreams, you can!

For those leaving with some dreams behind, your dreams are cherished by your beloved!

Rest in love, dear boy.

Salam.

my life is a chain of ordinary acts, rare sprinkles of drama and magical coincidences β€” unexplainable except that I am blessed with all the problems and solutions πŸ’•

Turning Point

Bob, Learning, life, love, Poetic, Those People
Fragrance of sambac
Ferries the wish to the love
Reborn with new scents.

β€”β€”

The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.

I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so β€” remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. πŸ₯° We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.

Yet….

reborn

not interested in talking in group except for work;

prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;

choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;

respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesn’t matter

still the same human being yet not the same anymore;

so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrue…. πŸ’š

Life is mysteriously beautiful.

Thank You so very much!

Alfatihah.

my younger brother’s 1st son was a newborn death; my older brother’s sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 β€” wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck πŸ’•πŸ˜Š you’re (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

I Bow to The Divine in You

Learning, Poetic, This Person, Those People
The bow that launches
Is the arrow that is shot:
An exhibit by the
One
That honour is inevitably
Gorgeous
For that
Respecting
From that
Witnessing.

Salute to the bowstring.

β€”β€”

I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada β€” I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in you and all my fellow Tapa Brata participants πŸ™πŸΌ

it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree β€” hope health and calmness be granted to all of us β™₯️

Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him β€” the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect

canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection

torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center β€” yummy and fragrant when cooked

πŸ’š


Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didn’t talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.

Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation β€” they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop β€œngereog” in the last 5 to 10 minutes.

My age doesn’t mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.

See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! πŸ’•

ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someone’s intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress πŸ˜‚

Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) β€” Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata πŸ˜„

pure friendship is such a magical bond πŸ’•

Pilgrimage

Learning, life, love, Map It!, Poetic, This Person
This life’s pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.

β€”β€”

a mosque in Tokyo β€” Tokyo Jamii (Camii)

entrance β€” assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii

mosque area – 2nd floor

i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it

the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines

a feeling of home πŸ’•

then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking β€” she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me 😁 thank you πŸ’•

time to fly home β€” thank you, Tokyo πŸ’•

you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars

Flowing

Learning, Poetic
The water
Flowing
With singing ripples

The air
Flowing
With whistling whispers

The wrong
Flowing
With whirling apologies

The right
Flowing
With blessing forgiveness

The heart
Flowing
With reciting verses

The soul
Flowing
With chanting gratitudes

The music
Flowing
With dancing life

β€”β€”

they bought it from amazon for me and keep it for my next visitβ€” my prayer is flowing with never-ending γ‚γ‚ŠγŒγ¨γ†οΌ

Sweetness of Heart

Learning, Poetic, This Person
My life is sugar cane
That I chew in summer day
Before singing.

My life is honeycomb
That I suck in rainy day
Before whistling.

My life is a bowl of ice cream
That I dig in on a quiet day
Before humming.

My life is sweetness of heart
That I choose
Before resting.

β€”β€”

i wish to be back someday to enjoy it in summer πŸ’•