Missing You

Missing you, dear you who might not realise that you’re you who’s dearly missed.

“oncom” in grated cassava (oncom di jero = combro), Sundanese deep fried snack that in Singapore is only available in Indo Express — not a best combro but a perfect one when homesick

Moon to Cat

Hey, Cat. You smile cute, calming the mood. Wave to me. I am wholly yours.

Hey, Moon. You shine bright, showering the night. Greet me. My paws are all yours.

wordless conversation is beautiful 💗

A Cake

Perfect is a cake baked with heart and soul for those waiting patiently.

There is nothing perfect in material thing. Perfect lies in the patience of queueing buyers and in the chef’s dedication of making the best cake for those patiently waiting. And more…

It looks like just a cake but there are more than stories of recipe behind it. There is love of mother to her child. There is trial and error of a chef for her best cake. There is a rent that the shop should pay. There is a smile after every bite of the chocolate chiffon cake. There are best materials supplied by many different shops whose owners commit to customer satisfaction. There is mood that demands stability. There is a city that will be remembered because of this cake. And so on, and so forth. And all happen because of heart vibrating love with any reason possible in this life.

What looks simple or trivial knocks loudly if we lend some listening space.

Salaam.

💗

many things about Japan fascinate me; I wish this country with its ethical practices can last much longer than what’s predicted 💝

Ouch Call! (ranting)

A stroke of a brush is how universe started. A surprise that lasts—

Certain friend is good at the same time destroyer of mood. I have one who can leave me“ouch ouch ouch oooouuuuch” for at least one week. This person loves ouching friends as an ice breaker but to some of us he has made it to the next level. This time he ouched me romantically, the worst of all my ouch experience from him. Call one “ouch caller”.

OC: Ready for a forced holiday? Have fun! Don’t work every night, just every two nights.

Me: (1st ouch) Hmmm ok, Sir.

…. Blah blah blah

OC: How is your romance? Get rid of him. He doesn’t even care about you. Don’t be stupid. You are not a door mat.

Me: (2nd ouch)

OC: What type of man do you want? Am I not good enough?

Me: (3rd ouch, but I have to say something) Hey, hey! Not a good time to talk about romance. Painting here and don’t want to lose vibe in the head.

OC: Tell me then. Handsome? Healthy? Rich? Hard working? I… Am… Everything!

Me: (Laughing like crazy as this person was very right about himself) Are you a sales person of your own product?

OC: Yes! And I’ve been selling my quality to you for the past how long with no buy in. You’re getting older and older.

Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH) Ok, ok. I have to explain. I want someone whom I can be comfortable being with even when both of us don’t like the same things. Can you, Mr Cruel Oucher?

OC: What! Of course not! When I go to party, you have to go to party with me. When I go to the gym, you have to go with me. When I cook, you have to cook all what I want. Blah blah blah…. You have to do what I like to do! If necessary you should give up what you like to like what I like.

Me: (Still couldn’t stop laughing) You are not. You are not that right person. You are just my ouch person.

OC: Is he still that person?

Me: Yes.

The next is the most ouched one but probably the most accurate to describe a fact.

OC: Then you have thin hope, thin chance. Not compatible. You don’t even know how to party. You don’t even know how to drink except that weak wine. You don’t even know how to flirt. He might not like reading. He might not like art and literature and walking. He might not like biking. He might hate you singing. He might hate you writing. He might hate you touching your hair again and again. You are not his physical type of beauty. He might hate you with your job. He might hate you being honest and independent. He just doesn’t like you as you. Oh! So relief I could say all these finally.

Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH OOOOUUUUCH and this will last long) You’re right. Very right. Time to stop your ouches, Sir.

OC: Then you still say no to me?

Me: (Mild ouch but I got impatient) You? I can’t tolerate a die hard nerd like you. You cook better than women. You manage money too well; you are stingy! You love your nephews and nieces more than anyone else, you won’t care about me. You work too hard. You eat too much healthy food, I love deep fried. You ouch people too much. Listen. Don’t call me just to ouch me.

OC: Ok, ok. How are you?

Me: Fine.

OC: Broken heart still?

Me: (ouch) Not really, just a bruise and scratch. Will get over it soon.

OC: It will be gone. For you not too soon though because you are not intelligent in romance. Be patient with yourself. (He was calming and that is when everyone likes him, a calm nice guy — unfortunately came too late after too many ouches happened.) Describe how you think about that person and let’s start the real conversation of today.

Me: My universe

OC: I want to throw up! You imagine him as a Chris Martin? Hahaha!

Me: Never heard of him singing hahaha!

Then we started to chat without ouches for almost two hours — a very nice two hours. A good friend to me is that who ouches me but still makes me comfortable with her/his genuineness.

Thank you! 🤝

Chris Martin is My Universe 😁

Disclaimer: blogged with this ouch caller’s consent with one condition “no exaggeration” which is not accepted like he never said “I want to throw up” and never said that he is handsome and rich although he is rich but not handsome 😊

Love

Perennially
Love celebrates all seasons
Cycle by cycle.

finally got pink lilies; back light makes it darkly perfect 💝
have a nice weekend from pink lilies 🙂
all about perspective; seeing absence as a potential is like a bud of lily before opening the petals happily, even like a bulb of lily before springing before the winter is spinning away

Friends & Love Stories (ranting)

See this pendulum
Swinging between two far poles
Knowing each other—

Someone called me and asked if we could have a dinner. We hadn’t met for many years. Knowing this person was in Singapore, I excitedly agreed to meet. Meeting this person, I was given a shock. This person looked weary and older than one’s age. The excellent appearance and posture was totally gone. That time I felt so blessed for for being me.

Me: I am not a marriage advisor, dear. Not even ever married yet! (That’s after a very long ranting from the friend stopped).

SO: But I know you are the most suitable one I can talk to.

Me: Oh…. (damn wrong, whispered to myself)

SO: …. A broken marriage… !@#$%^&*()_+=-::’<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?

Me: Oh…. (proven wrong talking to me, whispered to myself)

SO: …. Divorce is painful…. !@#$%^&*()_+=-::’<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?

Me: Oh…. Ummm (starting to show sympathy) I understand how you feel in this situation. Must be painful. Your own stress, the other one’s stress, your children, other people’s impression and words about you, your work….. Everything seems not at your side. I can understand you feel unwanted, useless, bad, irresponsible. Yet decision was made. You just should face it. How? Not sure if my word is reasonable and responsible but I think you just need to keep being you: working as before, doing activities that are still accessible, talking to your children like before, talking to your ex about the children….

SO: You don’t know! It is not that easy!

Me: Oh…. I am so sorry. I might not fully understand it is not that easy. I am so sorry for my ignorance. (told ya I am not the right person, whispered to myself)

SO: How would you survive alone all this time? You seem so happy with your life. Sometimes I regret for getting married too young. Look at you and X and Y and Z. All the singles are happy.

Me: (Oh! A sudden death! I know this would come but too soon, too soon. Let me find the right words. Whispered again to myself ) Ummm…. I think it is not that easy too…. Ummm…. I am happy, yes. Not always, but most of the time I am. Yet I also probably started hard.

SO: You don’t seem ever in hard time.

Me: That’s what you see. !@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&%%%%%%%%%%%%%.

this is there, whoever the person is

SO: So do you think I can survive?

Me: Of course. Although our problem is not the same, I am sure you can. Don’t underestimate your ability to cope with the hardship of life. You are stronger than you think. You just don’t know it yet.

forgive yourself, don’t be too harsh to self (talk to the hand, Ma’am) 😝

SO: You really don’t want to get married?

Me: (This question I never like, never like, never like; whispered to myself, but need to find the best words that won’t cause any further question.) This is out of context; you should not ask me this question. Not that I don’t want. It’s just about time.

SO: Do you fall in love?

Me: Ok, now you are asking me question about me.

SO: I feel good when knowing I am not alone.

Me: (Make sense, but why me oh my God!) Ok. Ok. I can make you feel better. Yes I fall in love and break my heart. And I don’t want to break my heart again.

SO: So you don’t want to fall in love again?

Me: Of course not like that. I fall in love again and again.

SO: With whom?

Me: With my eyes. With my lips. With my hair. With my morning. With my job. With my…. (I saw the person got annoyed but I continued with more things) Hahaha….

fall in love, be in love, don’t be ashamed of your feeling; it is a blessing although the beloved doesn’t care —not good enough one— or doesn’t know —tell or leave as simple as that 🙃

SO: Is it that easy?

Me: Nothing is easy automatically. It takes practice and time.

SO: What if I don’t get married again in the future?

Me: That’s too far away. Think about what you can do today.

SO: Do you think I still have a chance to get married?

Me: Of course if you want! Just find the right person.

SO: How can I find it? How?

Me: (Oh my God, help me before I can help others. Whispered to myself while finding the best words for this troubled person; even an intelligent person can be as dumb as this in one’s bad time) Hey, hey! If I know how to get the right person, I would have been married much earlier. This question is irrelevant.

SO: Hahaha……! Sorry, sorry! Hahaha……..!

Me: (Ok, at least I made you happy, whispered to myself. Mostly smiling among listening to the ranting, I enjoyed a perfect night — no rain, enough breeze…. Hours can feel like minutes…. On and on and on and on until midnight. Whispered to myself.) Cinderella has to go home, my friend. Or else, she will be back to be Cendrillon.

been there done that and not anymore

SO: I feel so much better. It feels like I find myself again. Maybe I was too preoccupied with not important things that I thought I lost the person I had known so long, myself.

Me: I might be like that in the same situation, maybe worse.

SO: Thank you very much.

Me: (I didn’t do anything. Just sat down and listened and responded to you. Whispered to myself for how many times heaven knows) The least I can do. It is good to meet long lost friend. Welcome back.

there is always reason to be happy; make it! it takes time but your happiness is the ultimate goal of your life; self align!

Dear friend, I know you’ll read this with a smile. Get better. See you some day. When meeting me again, make sure you look nicer.

Lesson learnt: Be patient with those facing fresh-from-the-oven problem. Don’t judge. Be a good listener. Don’t try to be a perfect advisor because you are not. Be yourself. Don’t get offended, someone in trouble may unintentionally disturb you.

Music

History’s a script with which she commits a dream to be in a home.

thinking of you is drawing note in life; one at a time… 💝 i just want a home, not more not less
letting go off you is drawing note in life; one at a time 💝 i just want a home, not more not less

Good Will

Who will give good will
Will be given good will then
Everyone feels good.

when you requested one person to take your photo but everyone volunteered 😂

Travel

She travels with all galaxies and intentions to find a home. Sweet.

all are rotating and revolving, traveling to find a sweet home; wherever home is, they travel — everlasting home is here now 💝

Wings Slap, Water Splashes

Love, your wings hurt me by slapping water. Fine, you’re having fun. Get drunk.

ripples, waves and wings— turbulence featuring beauty 💝 enjoy the drunk in silence before enjoying the drunk among the crowd 🍄

Love Songs

She hums rhythms that no one can enjoy
But those hearing the thin breeze
In the falling dusk.

She recites rhymes that no one can feel
But those touching beads of dew
In the brightening dawn.

Not sending wishes anymore
As whispering is louder in her own ears.
Intention might be misunderstood.

Not delivering messages anymore to you
As journaling is clearer to her own mind.
Linguistic might be multi-interpreted.

She sings love songs sweetly
To re-orchestrate in many genres with the paradise green birds
She keeps safe gently in heart.

She rewinds her heart slowly
To become millions of forever notes turning into eternal air
She meditates sacredly in silence.

How beautiful love is with love songs
Unheard!

this heart is loaded with notes of love songs that can be played only by those in love with each and every second ticking on the clock ⏳

Thanksgiving

Fruition has marked the days of drying bloom then farmers sing and dance.

my thanksgiving celebration is every day 💝 mini tumpeng to celebrate my calm day; thank you!
tumpeng is compact coned rice, a very meaningful shape in Javanese tradition – a climbing up to strive a goal

Blooming

Continue blooming. Time brings seasons and moments unwrapping secrets.

The best secrets are those explained by the beauty of silence of the blooming orchids. Thank you, Gusti Allah for all your love and guidance. I’ll keep all secrets secret like I take care of all my beloved orchids. I’ll keep all love love like I take care of my own self.

Salaam.

thank you again and again and again 💝
thank you again and again and again 💝

Quarter

Life is a quarter
With many doors to access.
Ever rendezvous—

me, Mel the mother of groom and Choo photographed when we were having good time after the wedding matrimony 💝 souls meet for a good reason, no bad reason at all 😘

Love Is

Love is not fading.
Love is distancing away
From shooting stars
Hurting a peaceful land.

Dear, shooting stars.
Dance.
Fly.
Free fall.
Father of Sky will redirect you
To another land who is willing to be hurt
Or
Simply re-orbit you to safer route.

Gaia is well protected from outer orbits by Jupe the Jupiter; sadly the children are damaging her – you are blessed, Mother Earth 💝

Morning

Morning is party of colours celebrating blessings wrapped in fruits.

Good morning from a market! 🎉

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the king! Malaysia durian is the best on earth! 💝

Present

Thanks for the present.
Good breathing and walking
Unwrapped everyday—

thank you! it is said not a Christmas gift but there is a “Merry X’mas” on a card; thank you for the gift every year although I am not a Christian 💝😃
i guess the boxes are all empty 😁

Smile

Smile, Beloved, smile.
It’s a luxurious gift
For you and for me.

I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.

Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. 💝

Thank you!

💝

sleepy, angry, yet stop telling me to take a nap! 😂😂😂
classroom, my party time; playground, my party time, my childhood was everyday party! 👯‍♀️
no smile, no mercy 😃
length of hair defines how I treat the world; i love my pretty silly me! 😃

Sweet Heart

Hello, my sweetheart.
Is life still sweet and vibrant?
Nes, said twisted tongue
Who means yes but mixed with no.
Making decision is wow.

Sweet is banana rice cake for breakfast and lunch. Should dinner be with the same? Please no. But where is thanksgiving if food is wasted? Sometimes good is not always good like this sweet banana rice cake that ends up as a dilemma. 💕

Lesson learnt: the karma of trying a full recipe is eating the same food the whole day without knowing to whom complaint shall be aired 😁

today’s banana rice cake! as sweet as a light heart 😘

Little Bird

A bird is sailing
On a clean stream down the hill
On a dry brown leaf.

(from Pinterest) – a fragile creature on a fragile creature – how beautiful life is!

Number

Number’s readable,
Intension’s not. Heart can read
Yet eyes can deny.

My Japan trip gave me a lot of insight. That an intension can be hidden yet sooner or later it will be naturally disclosed. That I should not entertain any underestimating and/or disrespecting expression —hidden or shown— as life is moving forward not backward. That if symbols or signs are not delivered to me as good will, all of them are false; ignoring them is the best way. That it is the right way to let them happily underestimate and/or disrespect and/or show superiority as their life style.

Human being should communicate verbally as part of real interaction. Without clear and genuine verbal communication at all and just sending signs and symbols, they fail respecting others. Wishing happiness is the best way as that’s what they need the most. Stopping interacting in whatsoever way is the best decision as they don’t contribute anything except confusion.

Happy weekend! 😍

13 can be 13 or “1 and 3” or 4 or 3 or 2 or nothing — whichever you choose to be, don’t choose to be “corrosion on an iron bar, permanently damaging the quality of the bar”

Home

Where can food be good
With less taste or little garnish?
It must be a home.
clean both look and taste is the main strength of Japanese food; better than in-flight meal so let’s eat before going home 💝
tada! fat makes the cold noodle perfect – murky and tasty!
not a fan of red meat, but good ribeye once in a while ok lah….
well done! or burnt? is a perfect choice 😂

Breakfast

Morning is welcomed
By a tray of whatever
Turning to a best.

my best breakfast this month!
2nd helping shows how good it is!
this never works for me anytime anywhere!
this made my today’s breakfast a gift from end of 2022, thank you!