graphs of my Universe
Morning, Beloved,
When seeds of joy is planted.
When dewdrops slide off.
What hues are painted for skies.
Whose voice will define the day.
—
Leadership is about being able to discriminate my own thoughts and making conscious decisions for the best of the agreed direction.
after morning prayer, certain day is just so….
Clay art, Beloved,
Hugged by earth, hardened by sun
Livened by heaven—
—
In Java island clay was commonly used not only to make art work but also as material to make kitchenware, eating utensils, plant pots, etc. Kasongan, Yogyakarta is one of famous villages of clay work industry in which different types of clay art and utensils are mass produced or customised as per buyers’ request.
One clay utensil that I often used in my childhood was kendi, a clay jug used to contain drinking water – it makes drinking water smell subtly earthy and feels cooly fresh. Children would dispense water from the jug to glass to drink; adult would usually just lift the kendi slightly above mouth level and dispense the water directly to their open mouth without touching the tip of the kendi mouth to their mouth — whoa so difficult to explain!
Kendi is not however commonly used as the function is now replaced by plastic containers and refrigerator. It is now mostly used in Javanese traditional ceremony or in some households that still want to keep some traditional way of life. I prepare 5 kendi to compliment the fridge in my Javanese home — 5 kendi are ready before the dining table is ready 😁
Kendi is actually an acronym (kerata basa in Javanese grammar) of “kendalining diri” (kendalining: control, diri: self) or self control. In Javanese culture kerata basa is used to tie a good teaching to what people is doing. So, practically kendi is not a personal utensil like spoon and fork, anyone can share it. Through the name Javanese know that using kendi, there shall be some self control applied. When someone drinks directly from the clay jug, one should do it carefully to minimise the risk of dropping the kendi and break it; and not greedily gulp all water as other family members or friends also need fresh water in that hot day.
Culturally (at least according to Greek mythology and Quran) human being’s physical is created from clay —like kendi— that is given soul by the Source and so we are breathing. So it is natural that human beings are fundamentally attached to earth. Yet how much ever human beings want to stay as firm, strong, young, beautiful like the clay coming from earth, it is not possible. There is breathing that fans the “fire of life” in the clay body and when it stops “fanning”, the clay body stops functioning.
Can’t live forever, some like to play “forever pretending”. Pretending to be young or beautiful or firm with plastic surgery. Pretending to be happy with some drugs. Pretending to be more precious than others with fake luxury and conspiracy. Pretending this and that.
Ah! That game! That’s fun indeed! Yet it is not doable for me. Being human is not an easy job, pretending makes it even difficult and complicated and unnecessary. So please count me out. 💃🏽
Hey! If some people want to live forever or stay young, firm, strong, beautiful and fully functional; they’d better be a kendi. 😂
Salaam….
Weekend morning, Love,
Grasses squirm by cold dewdrops;
Greeted by the sun.
—
Biking with those knowing how to race fairly is what weekend morning should be!
And when the ride is done everyone is just sitting at the river bank inhaling the smell of wet earth and scents of various plants under the sun that is hiding behind the rain clouds.
Happy weekend! 🚴🏼♂️🚴🏻🚴🏻♀️🚴🏼♂️🚴🏻🚴🏻♀️
Sky gate, Beloved
Once opened, cannot be closed.
Blessings shower down.
—
How would it feel to be showered with rain of blessings? Intuition is truly a blessing.
Dear, Sky. Thanks for the bright half moon last night which kept reminding me to not regret for telling genuinely with no anger about my intuition that might have offended someone.
Intuition is to be listened. Intuition is not always popping out; yet once popping out, it is always right. Yes, yes, this person is better in to be genuine than to look gorgeous. 🙂
Let’s go out to breathe the freedom and victory. Today still with Blue, let Red take a rest. 💝
Salaam.
after morning prayer
Crossroads, Beloved,
A while gauging where to go—
Follow the North Star.
—
Today’s conversation with one best friend was a bit nostalgic. She talked about how she went to spiritual class (very common in my country to do so for religion or non-religion based teachings) until finally she quit at 45. Her reason was disappointment to teachers. She asked about me and I said quit at 30’s and my disappointment was to myself.
A stubborn student, I wouldn’t listen to what teachers told me to believe or to do. I would ask questions then believed only when choosing to believe; even with good explanation, I wouldn’t believe if not interested to believe.
One example of the fool was when a particular teacher gave “daily task” to recite “Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem”, I didn’t do it even he only asked me to recite it 10x a day, while the other two were 100x a day. “No, Teacher. Why do I have to do it? I already read it as part of Alfatihah recitation in my daily prayer, that’s more than 10x a day,” said I. It was when praying was five times a day for me, oftentimes 7 times!
Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem is a sacred word uttered by Muslim or most traditional non-Muslim Javanese when starting an activity. It means “In the name of Allah The Gracious The Merciful”, some interpret it as “On behalf of Allah The Gracious The Merciful”. By reading it the reader is expected to only do good thing with good intension with love. The teacher also said that reading it we were doing self alignment: align the self with the true self, to be true to ourselves, to easily make decision and to cut short confusion and to always be blessed, to blend action with good intension.
Amazingly all teachers understood the fool and just gave a lot of smiles and books to read which annoyed her more and more. I became frustrated seeing the two good friends gained fast track understanding of life. I decided to quit then did whatever was fun fun fun ignoring the essence of being human being.
Only years later I found that self alignment is very important and I was sorry for realising it late. I finally got it why those two good friends were so peaceful while I was still struggling with almost everything. It was also the year when we found that that dear teacher passed away of old age.
Now? Learning to care more about inner journey and well being. Whatever happens to me is a consequence of my decision. If the decision is aligned with my true self, it leads to success. If the decision is false and against my true self, it leads to lesson learnt. Lesson learnt leads to better decision. Better decision leads to success. Success to me is not merely material gain, it can be simply being able to smile in tough time. This simple lesson is a result of years of battle for a stupid person like me.
My best friend asked me how now to deal with self alignment esp when in confusion.
Me: I recite Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem cumulatively 300x before night sleep.
BF: Why? Did that teacher come virtually and ask you to?
Me: No. I found that this word is my best to strengthen self-alignment between good intention and action.
BF: Why 300x? He said 10x.
Me: He discounted the price. I’m 30x more valuable than his appraisal.
BF: Arrogant fool!
Me: I’m just a fool.
BF: There are two of us.
Lesson learnt: Always find a way to see my fool not others’. Always find a way to laugh at my own self not at others’.
Alfatihah.
I don’t want to race.
Only safety that I wish
So I can meet you.
—
Surprise, Beloved:
Message in a bottle found;
A sweet S. O. S—
—-
I found life is full of small sweet surprises right when they’re needed the most.
Why am I so stupid realising it late?
Ah! That’s one of the elements of a surprise!
No doubt, Beloved,
Flowers blooming greet the sun.
The vase is ready.
—
Welcome to a happiest month! 💝
Gesture, Beloved,
Expressed to send a message
Addressed with no stamp
—
Cool breeze, Beloved,
Caresses her long black hair
Sending sweet message—
—
Blessings, Beloved,
A secret sent as a gift
Packed in dusty box—
—
Much sugar today!
Dream home, Beloved,
A place where nature meets hearts;
Hearts warmly greet souls—
—
The conversation with a long lost friend came to a topic of “where we want to live if ending living alone?”
Living in Singapore was never part of my dream. A visit in 2010 gave me impression that I would die of hunger in a week with Indonesia salary. 😁
Now this city is a lovely second home; my impression has changed. I won’t die because of hunger but I will die because of loneliness if I stay single retiring here. I still can’t find enough friends like those in home country. There are three but all of them will retire in Bali and New Zealand sooner than me.
Residing in a landed property where gardening and backyard dining is affordable is a preference, yet I don’t have the luxury of living in such place here. And I don’t want to die alone in a locked condo found rotten after days or even weeks. Oh God, please protect me from such horrible thing. Amen….
F: I’ve always wanted to live in Ubud and it will happen very soon. I’ll open a spa with all traditional herbal from all over Indonesia. I’ll quit my job soon. I want to live my own life as me, no one can tell me to do this and that anymore! No bloody politics anymore! Visit me often! You’ll find my spa super special! I’ll give you discount! Be a regular customer! Hey! You once wanted to live in Thailand?
Me: Someone informed me about a good property in low price near my favourite hotel in Ayutthaya. Yet Thai have controversial life style I’m not comfortable with in a way. I’m too simple, sometimes too honest and can be against those status-oriented that I might not be able to adapt well. Not a true dream! Hey! Actually love to live in Kyoto!
F: You’ll die in three months after you complete second round of shrine, temple and ancient house hopping! 😂
Me: Dying of walking! 😂
What a refreshing conversation! And yes, I’ll visit her spa soon! 😍
Lesson learnt: Will only live with those I love and loving me where home is a real feel. No excuse.
Salaam…. 💝
In harmony, love,
The art, the breath, the weather
With the city vibe—
—
I prefer enjoying the artistic vibes of a city to enjoying the crowd of its party or clubbing. People’s effort to entertain others through art on the street while at the same time earning a living is more humane than people’s effort to escape from their allegedly humdrum life by forgetting who they really are (my humble opinion).
May all beings be happy. 💝
Surprise, Beloved,
Dew drops slide, meet in a line;
River of blessings—
—
Weekend is mostly about staying home finding sweet surprises.
Thank you for the weekly break and lots of mini blessings!
🥰
Lover, Beloved,
With whom air and joy is shared,
By whom tears soon dried—
—
Being excited about solo travel wished in near future has made me remember places visited alone years ago. One of them is Madrid. Exciting one! Also ridiculous one! This trip was where I had: Korean food for lunch (my hunger came earlier, while people in Madrid have lunch at around 2pm so the most recommended Madrid restaurant was not open yet), Chinese silk bought (order from my beautiful best friend who was craving for it), lapis lazuli earring studs purchased for €80 (found them only S$40 in Lucky Plaza, might be only IDR300,000 in Jakarta), walking around the same street 4 times to find one place that was shown very clearly in Google Map…. I was lost in mind because of too many handsome faces on the road 😂
Madrid though won’t be a city I will go alone anymore. This place is too romantic to go without a lover.
One more thing, be careful of pickpockets! Too many, too many!
Salaam. 💝
A beautiful view
Conjured by moon, sunk by sun.
It feels faraway,
A dissipating shadow.
At least I dream about you.
—
Sunday, did you conspire with the sun to snap my dream? Never mind. I’ll call the moon again to get it back. 😄
Happy Sunday!
Rainy day, Beloved,
Compliment from up above—
Warm heart’s cheering up.
—
Mendoan is tempe blanketed with mixture of rice flour, wheat flour, ground garlic, ground coriander seed, sliced scallions, salt and water. It is half-cooked in deep fry method in high heat of fire.
Yummy!!! I love deep fried food in a rainy weekend! Let’s make more! 💝
Journey, Beloved,
Lost in the crowd, finding self.
Walk to the next gate.
—
Try solo travel and identify the emerging emotions from one place to another. It’s great to experience different feelings responding to new people and different culture.
It’s not about how many countries have been explored. It’s about how much this self can stretch herself through the need of adaptation and flexibility alone. Not easy but doable—
What’s the next destination of her solo travel? Wherever, soon please.
💝
Weekend, Beloved:
Hopping corner to corner
Building joyous vibe—
—
What a busy weekend I have! One living room, one kitchen, one balcony, one bedroom, one bathroom, one storage room, one laundry corner — all must be done on one day by one person.
Professionally it is called one on one! 🤡
Dove peace, Beloved,
Not dove’s! It’s ours projecting
What we can’t achieve—
—
Fine gold, Beloved, alchemists’ masterpiece through millions of failures
—
By end of this life she’ll be at least a master of breathing….
…. who will stop breathing at the peak of the mastery 😀
Unapproved alchemist! 😀
I’m lost, Beloved.
This maze takes me a hostage
I need to grow wings.
—
You might feel lost yet don’t get lazed. Open your eyes. This is not that maze maze. It is just an abandoned garden where trees are growing high touching the sky blocking the sun ray, grasses are growing wild covering the paths disguising directions. Look! There is something blinking from afar. Follow it, it might be a star. Or at least there is something moving you out of where you are.
Firstly open eyes! Your cat is getting impatient to go for adventure. Don’t let it leave you. This cat is a precious traveling companion indeed.
WAKE UP!!!
💝
after morning prayer
Your name, Beloved:
Air blanketing fragrant space,
Soil firming the stance—
—
Shakespeare said “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.”
He isn’t wrong. Yet he isn’t always right.
I call a name when rain is sweetly pouring down, call another name when day is scorching too bright and hot….
Why is it easier to call your name than my own? Is your name so strongly rooted that only it I can remember when it rains? Is it your name or is it you that stays with me?
Oh you….
Oh your name….
Salaam.
Ten thousand of clouds
March to count the day to come
Of happy birthday!
—
💝
The depth of silence is
As deep
As ocean of possibilities.
Shaken, the ocean will splash
Drops of gifts.
Time once revealed
When the gifts will appear.
It once said
There is a moment in time.
Space once revealed
Where the gifts will arrive.
It once said
There is a point in space.
Spacetime once revealed
Why the gifts will engender.
It once said
There are reasons in life:
Unfortunately wrapped
In colours and shapes,
Often times disguising things:
A crow into a dove,
A wolf into a sheep,
A dumpsite into a garden,
A villainess into a heroine,
An evil witch into a kind queen,
Bent into straight—
Misleading this traveler’s direction.
Once it was said
There is
One
That she will find
Somewhere some time only if
She minds.
Dear, Light.
Only
You can reveal
True colours
True shapes
True hearts
True reasons.
Be deeply silent
Even in the crowd
Where ocean of possibilities
Is shaken
In this spacious time.
Hey!
The gift is relatively fair, Beloved.
Be ready.
—
🌊
What are you, my love?
Keris, scissors, needle, knife?
Whichever, be sharp.
—
One young scholar once said “Let the old self of yours die, live as a renewed self every day and you will fall in love with yourself not because you feel more beautiful or better but because you know you are more and more authentic.”
Thank you!
Peaceful, Beloved,
Sitting remembering you
In this sweet silence—
—
Sometimes just don’t get it why Japanese is like that but now accepting it as it is a culture with which a nation is built and shaped based on nature and history; like a Korean being a Korean, a Javanese being a Javanese, an English being an English, a Vietnamese being a Vietnamese, etc. As long as it doesn’t disturb loyalty and integrity, it’s ok. 🥰
Artist, Beloved,
Proportional and perfect?
No. Flowing river—
—
When someone is so much a master of something that no labels or names of techniques are needed to pinpoint what s/he’s doing to perfect completion, s/he be an artist.
When will this human being be the artist of her own life? At least the artist of her own breathing…. It takes not only talent for her to become an artist, maybe she needs courage to be wrongly perceived! Maybe she should be at least misunderstood that she seldom breathes right?
😁
Salaam.
The top, Beloved,
Only with you I go there.
Others are wasted.
—
Others are wasted.
Forbidden city not.
Imaginary power
Ruined through history—
—
What’s built on weak foundation will collapse. Lies, betrayal, tyranny, iniquity adorn the strong marble slabs and zhennan wood logs, remembered through time.
Life is undeniably karmic: what is sown is what is reaped.
So satisfying to see time reveals the truth!
Salaam.
rike jokanan 
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