Humble beauty, love
Is found anywhere with eyes
Naked, no glasses.
i saw this
and this
and this
and this
i feel love is just everywhere incl in the wild grass and ordinary tree around me
thank you
Humble Beauty
Category: love
Another Year
Happiest birthday
To my sacred woman,
Mother.
Please always give
Another year
Every year
For us to pay.
i used to have a difficult relationship with my mother, very difficult; whatever i did was just not acceptable — my choice was her rejection, always
one year to reconcile i asked her to go for major pilgrimage with me but she rejected saying that she was too weak to do (even i offerred the shortest period); but she agreed for a minor pilgrimage — it was to me a cauldron of patience test, and i think the same for her; but we both started to know what was the knot in the rope
i never knew how jealous a mother can be to a daughter who is close to her husband until that day when she said to me “your father loved you more than loved me” — i was very close to my father and now i knew why she wondered why; we both know and accept it now
starting that year our relationship was getting easier and easier until 2018 we were in the peak — i was in my third worst argument in my life with her (1st when i refused to marry a man chosen by her, 2nd when she disagreed with my romance that eventually ended)
since then we started to learn gradually that there was a big misconception about mother-daughter relationship
a mother who thinks that her daughter is a possession should let go; a daughter who wants total freedom should slow down — there shall be a middle way where balance is achieved
and it worked; our relationship is getting better and better — we get along very well, we are relaxed in treating each other
do i love it? yes, except that she will contact me every single day to ask me how i am 🤪
happy 80th birthday, Ibu; thank you for being my mother — hope we clean our karma in this life so when we meet again, everything is going smoothly 😘
i love you the way i do you
you know i will never let anyone hurt you
💗
Your Names
Can you hear my voice
Calling many names in pain?
They are all your names.
Take a sweet glance to this heart,
Can you see face that's not you?
i Am A Mountain (Coldplay)
Opening YouTube and this is the video on top of the list.
Thank you for confirming that I am a mountain and so my love is also a mountain.
I never doubt you.
❣️
Love, No Doubt
Love is a mountain.
Stands still?
It does but it moves too to balance the center of Mother Earth.
No doubt.
Gives much?
It does but it sweeps too to clean what does not belong to the era.
No doubt.
Saves water?
It does but it stops flowing water to respond to destroyed roots.
No doubt.
Does good?
It does but it harms too to protect the heart of life, love itself.
No doubt.
Embraces beauty?
It does but it embraces scars and wounds too to celebrate journey and age.
No doubt.
My love is a mountain.
No doubt.
Mount Merapi (also Candrageni), Yogyakarta – i so much miss home i cry
💗
All with Love
Life seems effortless
As it's flowing river
To the sea.
All with love--
all with love — today’s breakfast
Flying Dreams
I love my sweet dreams
Who have cheered me every nights
And then forgotten.
Dear dreams, travel find your home.
I'm here to see you smiling.
fly happily, let me enjoy my day, waiting for you to call me saying “i’m home”
This Heart
What twig, Beloved,
Gives this heart strength to hang in?
A twig full of love--
(from Pinterest)
I’m Yours
Your heart, Beloved,
Is yours. We though share one soul
Bonding us for good.
I send love to your heart while
The soul hugs us forever.
everything looks beautiful when seen with love
this is one of 6 stems of orchids celebrating life before they dry out some time later, reminding me to keep sharing love and compassion until my existence changes dimension
thank you, dear orchids
I Love Who I Love
I love who I love
With the least of what I feel,
With the smallest of what I give,
With the smile I curve,
With the breath I take,
With the step I make,
With the words I whisper,
With the prayer I hide,
With the biggest I can sacrafice,
With the vastest I can explore,
With the laughter I throw,
With the sigh I disguise,
With the decision I make,
With all I dedicate
In silence
Or declared.
title of my poem above is inspired by none but part of Coldplay’s Jupiter
That planet never stops inspiring me. Thanks, Jupe.
laughter is ripples caused by a heart who wants to tell stories of how life offers so much
i called my mom and could not stop laughing hearing her stories about anything around her: the cat, the relatives, the weather, the broom, the iPhone, etc
she is someone able to make a simple thing nice to hear and laugh at
i never talk about my problem with her and i consider it my job 😁 because her fun can only happen when she knows her children are ok
just by talking with her about how she argued with my sister could make me laugh hard and when finally she asked me “what about you? you ok?”, i would confidently say “iya, Ibuuu….”
i love you, Ibu — you are one of those I so much love
💗
I Love Who I Love
I love who I love
Through the existence of yours.
I am to comply.
There's only one rule applied:
Wholeheartedly or forced, done.
title of my tanka is inspired by none but part of Coldplay’s Jupiter
That planet never stops inspiring me. Thanks, Jupe.
there is one verse in the Quran that i could finally accepted when i reached 40:
arra’d #15 “and to God prostrates whoever is within the heavens and the earth, willingly or by compulsion, and their shadows in the mornings and the afternoons”
even when at the beginning i felt forced to accept what was, i finally found that i was saved through being forced while i was struggling declining what was
it’s like swimming in a river flowing sometimes so calm making journey so enjoyable, sometimes forcing and surging making it hard to believe;
just flow, my dear self
all is in the name of love
💗
Home Sweet Home
Dear, dear Beloved.
There's a space all dearly miss.
It's a home sweet home.
I’ve tried inserting Jogja between my schedules since forever and now it is a dream-come-true.
There is a long to-do list for Jogja this time: checking if the orchids have rooted to the tamarind tree, eating gudheg, drinking ginasthel (legi, panas, kenthel = sweet, hot, thick in Javanese) tea prepared by my 90-year-old aunt, talking about my garden-to-be with my cousins, going watch Papermoon Puppet show and meeting up with batik artisans.
Yet to make it simple let me call it a not-so-short-but-not-long-at-all getaway to take care of my home project and to breathe the sweetness of village air.
Care to see my plan?
Here it is. Boring? That’s so me! 😊
Oct 25 (Friday)
- 9:45am arriving in Yogyakarta International Airport
- noon to afternoon: visiting humble batik artisans: Ibu Tien and Mbak Izzah (any kind of sogan batik) in Imogiri then Mbak Fitri in Kasihan (batik nitik)
- evening: eating gudheg
- night: checking in and talking with Mbak Roh (permanent partner in crime in Jogja) on random topics until we fall asleep
Oct 26 (Saturday)
- whole day with architect (Mbak Novi) in her gallery, my home then finally to Papermoon Puppet Theatre
- evening: eating gudheg (again?) and whatever
- night: talking with Mbak Roh, Mbak Endang and Agnes on random topics until we fall asleep
Oct 27 (Sunday)
- whole day enjoying my aunt’s tea and home cooking in my father’s childhood home in Menoreh Hills
- evening: eating gudheg (again??) and whatever
- night: talking with Mbak Roh on random topics until we fall asleep
Oct 28 (Monday)
- 9:45am flying back to Singapore
I usually either give free class or tell stories to children in a small library in Bambanglipuro, but time doesn’t allow though. Skipped! Sorry, kids…. We love you, but I need to manage adult things this time. Next time ya….
Can’t wait to be home…. Jogja, please warmly welcome me like always.
loving the blue sky! view from the backyard-garden-to-be (June’s doc)
From Johor with love….
I’d like to watch you sleeping (Sal Priadi)
sometimes you just need to sleep for one whole day when becoming not well
I Love You
I'm
You when
You're in love.
I'm
You when
You're brokenhearted.
I'm the ocean,
You're the sky--
We mirror each other until
End of time.
Happy In The Rain
Happy in the rain,
She's throwing smiles to the cloud.
Rain sends smiles to her.
yellow symbolizes happiness
don’t wait for external causes to celebrate life — rain can be a trigger to flooding anger within or simply a trigger to remind us that there is freshness within ready to dance
Generosity
Love teaches me to be generous
Of admiration and hopes and dreams.
However, fear drives me to be stingy
Of admiration and hopes and dreams.
You're a pendulum I'm hugging, Beloved
Swinging me from
Love to
Fear.
I know my wish won't change anything.
You constantly move to balance
Your own generosity,
And my imbalance is just a side effect,
Not your fault--
I'm almost drowning,
Your stream is so strong.
I'm more and more deeply pulled
To where I belong:
A smile of generosity,
Where love is abundant,
Fear dormant.
letting go is making sure love is abundant and fear dormant
Missing Home, Always
It's humble,
Warm,
Spacious,
Fragrant,
Sweet,
Loving,
Beautiful and
True
As this heart.
My home....
I miss
You.
this song depicts how i love my perfect home to be — i miss Jogja
November, please give me just one weekend to be there then i will be a prisoner again until next slot that you wholeheartedly give
❣️
Be True
Be true
Being true
True
Self
Thank you, dear life for being so true to me and teaching me how to be.
I felt so heavy this morning. After swimming, I continued preparing a line of chores that were not finished last night. Yet when doing the laundry and some kitchen things, I was “attacked” by a feeling of broken heart and anger that didn’t seem to be from my own experience– I’ve been so in love and blessed recently.
I remember that what we feel is not always who we are, there might be others’ negative energy around us that with heaven knows what reasons the energy attaches to us. So I stopped for a while: talking to myself, talking to my best friend, posting some funny videos to my instagram then meditating for a while. And tada! My mother called me giving me some news about this and that happening around her.
No wonder I’ve felt so heavy and broken hearted.
Now I know I am not broken hearted.
I am filled with so much love and flowing it to those knowing how to appreciate it.
I promise to be always true to this true self and to those true to it.
May all beings be happy.
💗
Liberated
Liberating love
Makes her fly high to the sky
Seeing a blessed heart.
the ultimate love is that that liberates
listening to this song feels like liberated in love
💗
Locked
She's locked, Beloved,
Under radar of a plane
Showering much love.
No mercy. Between nervous
And happy, she's humming tunes.
love can be as cruel as rain of missiles bombarding a quiet village in a peaceful night — hope i don’t die in misery
🥰
Sometimes
Sometimes
I ignore the name
When I know it is the same.
Dear
You,
How your beauty and majesty
Has encapsulated me
In one existence called
Life!
Now I can only choose either
To love or
To leave.
they call it “Mie Kari” in KL, it is “Laksa” in Penang 😘 in Singlish it is called “same same but different” 😁
If
If flower's singing,
Dandelion does the best.
She wishes to heart.
dear dandelion, bring my rhythms to my love and let my love decide the rhyme
i wish one sweetest rhyme is chosen from the very heart resonating mine
💕
Ripples
Water is splashing
Once fallen on to surface.
Lace of ripples be--
negatively perceived by others is not something new for me; many human beings don’t believe in good will or good intention simply because they are trying to protect themselves from being robbed — they think others being kind to them is a strategy to take their power or their money
i’ve met some people accusing me of being kind to rob their money or power; i never explain about my good will or intention and just continue being kind — if they finally recognize the kindness, it’s good for them for knowing kindness; if they never do, it’s good for me for being protected from stupidity
i only want to cause ripples of kindness in my life
Ripples
It is what you do
Bringing deeds. And so you do,
Do through sweeter heart.
i was tired of being a wicked energy in one side of life, so i decided to be a sweeter softer heart in all sides of life — whatever they say….
💕
Love Is Felt
Love is felt, dear Love,
By leaves through the breeze and soil.
Romance at autumn--
autumn, give me strength to love with no attachment
Thank You
Thank you, dear weekend
For slapping my face with waves
That clear busy mind.
in the middle of a book that i picked in Sep 2023 and started reading in Sep 2024
soon completed
one big note within my reading which i am sure will stay until the end of the reading: always start with why except in loving someone, when you love someone with a why, you will find another why and finally you have no reason to love that someone and you’ll go back to your meaningless emptiness — know that only love never needs why
thank you, Truth for giving me so big a heart that contains so little to no why for loving, and so big a mind that contains unlimited why’s for knowing life
have a weekend, take a breath and set new days
i beg mercy from You, The Truth — set me free ASAP from heart congestion and mind unclarity
duh Gusti…. 😘
A Door In A Home
She thought
The door was open ajar
And so she stepped forward
Then she found
It was never ajar,
It was unclearly welcoming,
Playing true heart,
Causing a burning pain.
It was a glass window
Protecting a door
That was never open--
Neither for her
Nor for anyone
Probably--
Some home is designed
To lure hope
Just to damage true trust.
She decided that
It's her fault
And mindfully she's to be careful
As her heart won't
Bear the cost of
What's not true
Anymore.
stand in front of a door that is finally found never open for me, time to go within
it is my first time, very first time to find that a heart can show me so overwhelmingly huge clear admiration and hope but then cause me to free fall ridiculously
maybe i did something really bad to that heart in my previous life
dear, love — i don’t want unclarity next time; i don’t want false alarm; i want only clear mind and genuine intension
lesson is learnt in many ways; i thank life for teaching me so much love — this time love that has no clarity about its own self
thank you, love for giving me clarity about myself and about you
💕
Blessed
She's blessed, Beloved
In the name of none but love
By those knowing love.
almost done with the packing — short getaway somewhere connected with 1-week biz trip to KL
i’ve been in good mood
this was the first time i was kissed and hugged by the CFO of a company after a closing meeting — she said she had heard my name from other counterparts in other branches and she liked the way i defended my standpoint; or, probably she was just being a mother who remembered her daughter
thank you, YW; you are blessed
Scared Away
She is scared away
By all silence thrown to her.
Going back within--
sometimes work is the only heaven when undivided attention distracts me from other disturbances
today is the last day of audit in one supplier near home then i will complete packing to fly early tomorrow morning — i don’t know if the meet-up will happen (i heard the person will go somewhere else with someone else); if not, at least i know whether or not this is my way
💕
Dreamseeds
Dreamseeds, Beloved,
Land only on a warm heart
That does what it says.
if i were a fairy, i would fly with the dandelion to plant seeds of dream so all good heart can sing only guileless love songs
rike jokanan 
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