When love is set free,
It rushes out to fly true
To its home called heart.
be true
True
Category: love
Good Morning
Good morning, dear self.
Fly my love across the sea
Where heaven's sitting.
RC Gorman’s work of art – i feel strongly Gorman knew exactly how it feels to be a not-married woman: dressing herself nicely, wearing herself comfortably, greeting environment sweetly, loving her own self dearly like loving her beloved
Birthday & Zodiac(s) (ranting)
Happy birthday, myself.
Continue doing what you love.
If not, love what you are doing with commitment, discipline and some gentleness called love.
Know that every single deed be recorded in a ribbon coiling around you, reviewed and rewarded.
Know that however sincere and true you are,
You sometimes will be misunderstood
Even by those closest to you,
And sometimes explanation won't clear the way.
Just be true,
Be kind.
Or, walk out of the room for a while.
Enjoy your double-life: being one in the crowded road and the other in the silent pathway, always
With some sprinkle of love.
You are blessed.
A moment of happiness, you and I sitting on the verandah, apparently two, but one in soul, you and I. (Rumi)
I am 49 today….
….feeling blessed with what I’ve been given. #andnotgiven
….feeling good with by whom I’ve been surrounded. #andnotsurrounding
….feeling lucky that still looking younger than my age (said one selling me a life insurance and said ones selling me bright coloured dresses). #paradoxicallyblessed
When people say “age is just a number”, I’ve always disagreed. Age is counted with number to highlight various processes and stories along a linear line although to me life is never linear, it’s always inward spiral. Originally the phrase “just a number” is to comfort those afraid to age, those who think getting old is scary and less favourable. In fact, getting old is fun and blessed. I’ve never thought that I still can have fun at this age, responsibly do what I love to, go to places in bucket list (no backpacking), dress the way I love to, fall in love every single day with myself and those making me love myself more, look forward to dreams coming true, and a lot more. I am talking about getting old, not being dead– the latter is mysterious and I’m still not committed to be 🤓
What is the essence of getting old to me? Getting old is a journey ahead of total maturation of how a human being chooses to responsibly respond & tactfully react to given situations; and a journey back home to childlike sincerity within of how a human being playfully celebrates failures and successes of life. I refresh maturity each day, at the same time playfulness and candour.
When birthday comes, people like to remind me of me being Virgo, but am I truly a Virgo just because of being born in Sep? I am not sure, in fact Virgo is in both my sun and moon, my rising/ascendant is Aquarius and several other zodiac signs sit in the other houses in the chart. Actually yes I see at times I am a pendulum swinging from being “Virgo’s pragmatic approaches, worrisome nature and rigid ideas” to being “Aquarian’s free-spirit, living life one day at a time, enjoying here-now moment” and in between I am transiting in different zodiac signs in experiencing this precious life. By Chinese astrology I am a Rabbit. By Javanese astrology, oh sooo complicated!
Particular family members, friends & colleagues quote astrology to assure me that they know my personality when commenting about my behaviours.
“It’s because you’re Virgo so you are like this,” said they. “It’s because you’re a Rabbit so you are like that”. “It’s because you’re blahblahblah….”
Well, I respect their willingness to at least understand about me through the pseudoscience called astrology. They don’t judge with bare hands, they present something to my hands. Science or pseudoscience to me though must follow my conscience; their opinion might slip from between the pores of my existence, from between fingers of these hands.
Anyways, to my understanding about this self: I simply accept that this person called Rike is a combination of inherited & evolving DNA, family upbringing & social interaction, life experience & trauma, decided responses & reactions, hopes & dreams; which might happen in awareness or not, well organized or random. If astrology does matter, it is only part of all. Once a human being understands one’s self through one’s own self (in Javanese wisdom it includes but not be limited to “mawas diri” or self examination), astrology knowledge is just frills in a gown.
Please don’t get offended by my personal opinion, take it as a stupid if not humble one.
Whatever strong opinions about or labels given to me –how ugly or how grand– by other human beings won’t change the true me that I experience intimately. I won’t let those labels rob this intimacy. Even all identities I embrace dearly shouldn’t shake this intimacy. Those human beings labelling me and I are raw stones massively tumbled in a giant tumbling machine called life; we each other all hit, break, scratch, polish to finally shine and show the true colours of each of us. How painfully beautiful at the same time beautifully painful life is!
Thank you, Gusti Allah for this beautiful journey called human life.
I know you’ve had boundless repertoire of sweet surprises. Please give me wonderful time like always.
💕
So This Is Love (Sneha)
I am not a fan of Cinderella story as no pure love is found at the stairs of a palace…. 😂 but I love this song, I can listen to this song this whole night.
Thanks God for giving an ever space in this heart to always move forward no matter what. Life is about defining and redefining a self through dreams, plans, actions and evaluations with love and compassion.
Almost birthday and I already feel so much love from my family and close friends.
Thank you….
❣️
Mm
Mm
So this is love
Mm
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow, mm
And now I know (and now I know)
The key to all heaven is mine
My heart has wings, mm
And I can fly
I'll touch every star in the sky
So this is the miracle
That I've been dreaming of
Mm
Mm
So this is love
Planned
If I'm asked to plan,
I'll plan colourful events
Where bravery rules.
plunge into ocean of possibilities – be brave, Beloved; you’ve failed and fallen, another plunge won’t kill
execute the plan to once again plunge into it and then…. done
💕
Guided
Guide me, Beloved
Traveling in this dark maze.
Keep my trust intact.
our work group is moved from building 1 to building 3 before later finally to building 2
how much ever we love building 1 (we all don’t like working in high floor), we must move as building 1 will only be used for new process bloody heaven knows what
what makes me rather ok with building 3 6th floor is that it has a “garden” that is very helpful for me who don’t enjoy low temperature for too long — today i stayed in the garden for 30′ to warm my body
it has some natural plant, but plastic grass 🙃
today was my 1st day in building 3 6th floor — i was lost going to toilet then guided by janitor, lost to pantry guided by unknown colleague, lost to find the lift guided by another unknown colleague
thank you!
The Best
What's best, Beloved?
The one assigned to you now.
It's one and for all.
she is not the best mother compared to others, might not even better, but i think she is the best assigned to me
it’s great to talk to my mother now and then; please live healthy and longer, Ibu 😘
A Book Is A Garden
A book, Beloved
Soaks a soul in clean water.
Washed off and refreshed--
I read a book by Haemin Sunim, Love for Imperfect Things. It is second book from him I’ve read, the first was When Things Don’t Go Your Way. While the latter felt like diving into my own understanding of life– a set of confirmation of what I’ve done and/or understood in life; the currently read is like a playful garden to me, giving me more space to reinterpret my life based on Haemin Sunim’s point of view.
I’ve stopped reading “heavy books”, those that make me more intelligent with bunches of upgraded sciences and knowledge, more critical towards others’ (different from me), more analytical around my folks (outside work), more rigid in forgiving those “making mistakes”. I am now trying to dull the knife in my mind, I’d love to have curvy corners that will just give slight sensation without wound when bumping or bumped by my fellow human beings.
💕
Yes, I am now a weak book reader, but I am an avid reader of my own heart and life.
This book reminds me that I should be bonding myself to an anchor called compassion in life so whatever happens to or around me, it is always love and kindness that become my basis of judgement and decision.
thank you, Haemin Sunim — how grateful i am to have read this book
Most books I am now attracted to are fiction, short books, those illustrated, colourful, with picture collection. I read some biography but only of my favourite people (now reading Alan Rickman’s).
Not a fan of “self help” books either as I don’t need to be helped, just need to sit together with a company to listen and to be listened to.
every chapter is as powerful as decades of dripping water that forms a smooth hole on a rock 💕
thanks to my favourite person for recommending this book; i wish to see you soon 💕
Continuing reading Haemin Sunim’s next book–
Do You Mind Me To?
If I'm to follow,
It's only to follow you.
Do you mind me to?
the sun, sunflower and a weekend
My Life Is Poetry
My life is poetry
I recite in solitude.
As short as Basho's haiku,
As long as Bhagavad Gita--
No ears are to hear,
No critic is to review,
As private as a fetus in the womb, dearly loved--
As hidden as an unexplored cave, well protected--
There will be time when it travels out
To a place called a meadow of flowers
Where words become meaningless,
Senses truthfully shout.
That day I'll recite my life
To that whom I truly endear.
That day I'll sing my song
About the love I truly adhere.
a humble life is a tiny drop of water pushing out ripples on a placid pond– hidden and loved
Dear Sky
Looking for one face behind the cloud,
I meet a smiling sky whispering
"Land and meet one while your feet are on the ground."
Dear sky,
How paradoxical this dream is!
I've dreamt of a perfect angel
Only to find that the perfect is a real sample of imperfection.
How paradoxical this fear is!
I've been afraid of imperfect ghost
Only to see that the imperfect is a real specimen of perfection.
How paradoxical that both perfection and imperfection reside in the same home!
Step by step
I crawl down from the bed
And go to the garden
Where I guess singing birds are hopping from one swaying twig to another,
Butterflies are flying around bright coloured flowers.
What I find is silent dews gliding on sleepy leaves,
Dragonflies perching on tips of coarse leaves.
They're though real and I befriend with a verse of beauty.
Dear sky,
Always bring me naked truth with which I can be real.
Thank you.
it’s not where i want to find you; if you’re there, i will immediately leave you because it mustn’t be the real you
💕
Style
Your style's, Beloved
Yours that cajoles her to move
Current point of view.
i’m not a fan of French style but this hotel makes me feel home in Hanoi so i accept the style as it is and make it my preferred hotel
Tongue Tied
Tongue tied, Beloved
Seeing you're celebrating.
Wishing you from here!
a north star is where you find an answer
You
I wish I know
You better
So there won't be useless tears falling to long for
You.
I wish to meet
You now
So there won't be useless words
Uttered in secret for
You.
I wish to be with
You, too
So there won't be useless thought dancing restlessly for
You.
But I won't force to be with
You soon
As the timing is predestined by and arranged for
You.
counting my falling hair before finally meeting you
💕
We Pray (Coldplay)
God, listen to us please….
—- and help make it happen.
Surrounded by You
Want I
To be surrounded by
You
Where laughter is generous,
Thought is serious,
Confidence is contagious,
Maturity is glorious.
How merry
To have conversation hilarious!
Once in a while though days look rigorous,
That's when it is to my senses obvious,
To my thought serious
That you're famous
Surrounded by
Thousands of those
Marvelous.
Sigh I.
surrounded by beauty
Ripples
Ripples call you, Love
To go back home and sit still
Through questions and doubts.
ripples
i started learning spirituality from my father
that he made mistakes, yes but i still respect him as a human being who regretted his wrong doings then taught us how to dive in to the depth of our own selves
he was one of those teaching me that what we do is like an object falling on to surface of water; the heavier the gravity, the bigger and farther the ripples will occur
the volume and distance of the ripples will be affected by the weight of the falling object and also the stillness of the water….
…. analogically a still heart will be able to better catch subtle ripples than a moving heart can do
i hope i am gifted with good senses in a still heart so i don’t have to wait until something “bad” happens to stop my wrong/inappropriate actions/doings — in Javanese we can call it “janma limpad seprapat tamat”
Ripples
Trace of a sweet heart
Resonates across the earth
With its clear fragrance.
ripples will not stop until edge of the lake and will reflect back to the source
Ripples
Ripples of her love
Widely travel to the edge
Of the universe.
ripples
No Doubt
No doubt is playing.
She finds this journey blessing.
No more pretending--
‘ve never stayed in this hotel before, rather unusual but there is a blessing in disguise; the hotel room i’m staying has dandelions at one of its corner — i take it as a confirmation to all my prayer, i’ve got no doubt anymore about this journey 💕 the outcome though is not in my control
Brewing Dreams
These dreams are brewing,
Longing to see a meadow
Where flowers blossom.
heart is where the dreams brew before traveling to another heart that accepts them fully
only Wind can make it happen
thank you for giving me a lot of sleep recently so i can claim back my battery 💕
Sonnet of A Tiny Love
Pondering where this tiny love story means,
Counting breathing through hope in highs and lows.
In I breath fragrance of rose, out jasmine.
How beautiful! No one but a key knows.
The breeze sometimes softly shakes the heartbeat.
The river flows tampering a quiet mind.
The fire ignites a heart that longs to meet.
Under the drizzle the sun warmly shines.
Beloved, is it you she's waiting for?
Is it her you're letting in your grand throne?
The cloud hanging disguises sweet flavor,
Or the flavor is love and love alone?
Love is beautiful with cloudy sweet dream.
If time allows, rain stops, be shown sunbeam.
there’s a girl within falling in love, a woman without daydreaming of love
be real, woman! the girl is as true as your love itself
never doubt your heart; trust your life
Softness
She won't let go, Love
The softness and clarity
She's gained through tough years.
found it this morning and sent it to Ina and Novi, my bestfriends — humble human beings whose heart talks to me with blissful joy, i to them and would be on and on
thank you❣️
Goes Down On Her Knees, Prays
Her heart aches,
She needs some medicine
And so she goes down on her knees and prays
For clarity.
She hopes soon her tips of fingers can touch clearly
Whether it is pulsating
Of better future
Or potentially repeated puncture.
Show me his way.
fastbreaking today — bismillah
i booked a table in my favourite Japanese resto as i wanted to enjoy their crab but no table was available at my preferred time
so i bought kanikama as the frozen crab was not available either in dondondonki
….randomly mixed it with whatever i had
i needed rice but not much time to cook it
…. ok
not bad at all to start this evening
japanese restaurant, see you on sunday
Falling In Love
I asked myself about
Falling in love.
My brain said
Falling in love is scary.
I could not concentrate,
I dropped what I carried,
These tears came down miserably,
Dizzy, oh dizzy!
My heart said
Falling in love is beautiful.
I could imagine what was best,
I shared what I carried,
These tears came down happily,
Pretty, oh pretty!
My soul said
Falling in love is magical.
I could think beyond what was,
I multiplied what I carried to share,
These tears came down with no reason,
Willingly, oh willingly!
Someone said
Falling in love is inevitable.
It filled me when I was hungry,
It emptied me when I was full,
Do, just do
However dizzy or pretty, do it only willingly!
I checked who was the last speaker:
Damn! My stomach was smiling in glee.
scary, beautiful, magical and inevitable
Composed
She's simply composed,
Not even shaken by storm.
Rooted to the earth--
My intuition works wonder when it comes to family esp mother, as if knowing when something wrong happens even no one informs me.
Yesterday I contacted my sister saying that mother might not be good. She said mother was ok and sleeping.
My gut said different. I contacted my cousin saying the same thing and she said “Yes, she fell and injured a bit on her chin and left hands.”
I happened to know later that my mother didn’t allow my sister to tell me about the incident.
I tried to digest the “lie” although the feeling inside was a mix of anger, disappointment, sadness, left behind at the same time relief that she was now ok.
This morning after a long meeting I called my mother. I really wanted to give her some “lecture” that she should be careful, should not do this or that and should let me know whatsoever happens to her. But I detered myself from doing so.
I know what I would say is something true but don’t want to hurt her motherly affectionate decision. I chose to accept her reason of not informing me: so my child can work with light heart.
My mother is one of the mentally strongest women I’ve known in life. None of people knowing her will say otherwise.
Once I joked around with her “Ibu, please pray that I don’t have to be as strong as you in life as when I’m as strong as you, it means I will have one most challenging of human life.”
She said “You can be stronger than me but don’t need to experience what I have in life. Trust your life.”
Yes, I do trust life will protect me from the harms.
I love you, Ibu. Thank you.
💕
Flowers from Banksy
Banksy,
It throws me flowers
At a silent weekend.
I'm dead.
Have a nice weekend, everyone!
Banksy’s work of art
I Can’t Yet I Can
I can't talk about
You all the time,
People will think I am crazy
Or crazy about
You.
But how can I
Stop thinking about
You, while obviously
You are everywhere
I am?
blaming why a plate seems empty but actually full of unseen material
aka
what is wanted is obvious, but there is no way — don’t blame the guest standing in front of the door, blame the host not responding to the greeting
Without Teacher
What am I
Without teacher?
A lost wanderer
Losing destination.
What am I
Without teacher?
A confused traveler
Losing guidance
What am I
Without teacher?
A dreamer
Losing inspiration.
What am I
Without teacher?
A human
Losing meaning.
What am I
Without teacher?
A Soul
Repeating the same mistakes.
Dear
Teacher,
You are born
For me
To be reborn
As me.
I'm grateful to
You.
Today’s lunch break was about a phenomenal chat with some teachers of life.
Thousands if not millions of teachers have taught me in life. There are some that I cherish the most today, those that have triggered me to make biggest decisions in life.
Thank you, dear teachers❣️
Bapak Merta Ada, he was the one teaching me to go within without doubt, without limit – “spread love and compassion”, his advice 🥹
Sister Zak, my Arabic teacher — she emphasised that what we read needs to be well understood first then pondered then can be interpreted (differently) — “be a responsible interpreter of the Quran for yourself, no one to blame when you make wrong interpretation or decision“, her advice
Aaron Cass, my mentor in Beshara School who helped me open most doors of freedom of responsibly being human through his amazing knowledge and wisdom about sufism and esp about Ibn Arabi & Rumi — “from now on whatever you do differently, never make it a new religion”, his advice
Ina, a best friend from high school whose action moved my soul: she left her brilliant career (at the same time I started mine in Singapore) without new career to take care of her parents for her sense of responsibility; she took care of her mother until she passed away, now she is taking care of her father; Ina, you are beautifully blessed — “let’s exchange stupid memes and videos”, her message
dear Ibu, i won’t let anyone hurt you — “work responsibly and take care”, her every morning’s advice
Vito, my dear nephew, “i will always love you and protect you forever”, his last message before he passed
the fire warden in the mirror, “have you smiled today?” my greeting to myself
Listen to Heart
I want to sit
Under the red leaves
Where only you
Can hear the songs
From this heart.
Listen to this heart
That can only whisper
To you afar about dreams
Of no words but eloquent
Of no light but bright.
Please hear me.
Here me.
I am here.
It is just here
Now.
Just one click of your message.
autumn is so romantic, composition of quiet garden and eloquent heart
rike jokanan 
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