Heart of Teen

Learning, Poetic, This Person
If someday the age counts no more;
I want to be remembered as
A girl who resides in an old soul,
A woman who cradles teen’s heart,
A foe who wins with no glories,
A friend who shares joy,
A sister who carries responsibilities,
A daughter who pays homage,
A human being who makes mistakes,
A nobody who learns lessons,
A fool who scavenges wisdom.

And that’s what I will call
Alive.

β€”β€”

hidden grey hair and new spectacles made my day; finally giving up to progressive lenses after 4 years of denying that my eyes are not young anymore β€” enjoying a bowl of Vietnamese pho bo shot candid by a friend visiting from Jakarta β€” so blessed to be almost 50 with the heart of teen πŸ˜‚πŸŽ‰πŸ˜Ž

Deli from My Heart!

Learning, Poetic
When heart is joyful,
It radiates through senses.
Deli from my heartβ€”

β€”β€”

gudheg ayam ala Rike β™₯️ β€” light and bright, my must-eat for all my family and friends visiting me

most of feedback: can you make it saltier πŸ’•

tempe kemul aka blanketed tempe β€” yummy like in heaven!

today’s lunch box β€” leftover of gudheg ayam, rambutan and mini banana πŸ’š

Numbers

Learning, Poetic
Through numbers I see
How happy human beings are
Zigzagging among their dreams,
Excusing to leave what is.

With numbers I hear
How flowing rivers are
Splashing over the rocks and debris,
Calming by the wind.

One number in this equation
Suddenly disappeared.
No. It faded away.
Ya. Getting confused.

Dear
Number,
Fade away.
Find your way.

β€”β€”

I love numbers, not necessarily through Math but playing with them feels like swimming in an ocean of never-ending possibilities β€” yet my favourite ones are still 1, 7 and 9 with no logical reasons at all

there is no reason to love you

yet there are ones to not fight for that love

Love you…. Whoohoo!!! πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‚πŸ’•πŸ˜˜

Prophesy

Learning, Poetic
Do you believe in prophesy
Where fog lingers down the hill
Leaving feet walk alone,
No light,
No eyesight,
No pathway seen,
Only heart listening
To the wind rustling
Flying leaves to
The North Star?

β€”β€”

This artwork by Ichwan Noor is named β€œBedhaya Kinjeng Wesi”

Bedhaya: a Javanese sacred dance (usually composed by a king to be) performed by at least 9 female dancers or bigger odd numbers

Kinjeng: Javanese word for dragonfly

Wesi: Javanese word for iron

Kinjeng wesi (iron dragonfly) is a phrase that appeared in one Javanese prophesy telling that the area where Yogyakarta International Airport is now located is the area mentioned to be the nest of iron dragonflies

Do I believe? Not so much. Yet it is always entertaining to talk about what the old days predict about nowadays.

I don’t have so much expectation that Yogyakarta will be a busy tourist spot (I don’t want it to lose more and more genuineness and originality of culture and traditions) β€” yet I hope at least there will be more flights from and to Singapore in that new airport.

πŸ’•

Gorgeous

Learning
You’re gorgeous
Yet beyond reach.
You ignore me
Even in one sweetest dream.

β€œWakey! Wakey!”
Every alarm clock screams wildly.

β€”β€”

one of my best friends innocently thought I am in a date with a handsome intelligent man β€” I wish to the moon and back to date someone ordinary like this Rege in warm clothes smiling subtly πŸ₯Ήβ™₯οΈπŸ˜ƒ

I am glad that my best friend for the first time didn’t know someone in the news! πŸ’•

the Rege I won’t prefer – party goer, glamorous dude, everyone’s charmer πŸ˜‚

Roses Faraway Home

Learning
Where is home?
It is where roses dry out
Silently on a table
With their colours and shapes.

Where is home?
It is also where roses grow
Peacefully in the garden
With their beauty and scent.

Where is home?
It is where roses are
Sincerely exist in life
With their space and time.

β€”β€”

left it on Oct 24 evening, will meet them again on Oct 30 morning in a home

Falling in Love

Learning, love, Poetic
If not because of 
Love,
This soul won’t soar,
This heart won’t throb,
This head won’t radiate,
These palms won’t trust sensations.

If because of
Love all are alive,
And so
I fall in
Love
Every single
Day

With
You.

The same
You
Over and over
Again.

β€”β€”

falling in love is everyday whole year like butternut squash πŸ’•

picture: RC Gorman’s work of art

γγ‚‡γ†γ―δΌšη€ΎδΌ‘γΏγΎγ™

Learning

Most of Japanese movies (in Netflix) are dubbed into English. This one is one of few that are still in Japanese.

Not my #1 favourite but this is one of those downloaded and rewatched for study and for giggling in Saturday night. πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

Watch! πŸ‘πŸ½

the most laughed: Hanae’s colleagues esp Kagami and Mamoru

if Hanae is my friend, I will tell her β€œDONOT MAKE COFFEE FOR ALL!!!” πŸ˜‚ yet I see younger me in the naive Hanae β€” rather st**id 😘😘😘

Coincidences

Learning, Poetic
Coincidences,
Unexplained experience
In one fast crossroad

β€”β€”

β€˜M supposed to watch Coldplay in Japan with Vito, my nephew. We’d planned the trip since May; he passed away in July. Feeling desperate and not wanting to go alone, I was about to cancel the trip when coincidently one best friend said she wanted to visit me in Singapore in the week of the supposed-to-be-cancelled trip. I offered her a free Coldplay ticket to go with me. She agreed! And so the trip cancellation didn’t happen. πŸ’•

I am still selecting which photo of his is the best to bring. I want to take picture with his picture before, during and after Coldplay concert and wherever we would have been going in Japan.

Sometimes we live to walk on others’ dreams and those who have the dreams must let go off their dream to be walked on by others. That’s why I always want to live my life with true dedication as not everyone has the opportunity to live this long.

For those living chasing dreams, you can!

For those leaving with some dreams behind, your dreams are cherished by your beloved!

Rest in love, dear boy.

Salam.

my life is a chain of ordinary acts, rare sprinkles of drama and magical coincidences β€” unexplainable except that I am blessed with all the problems and solutions πŸ’•

1999 for A Handsome Guy

Learning
First the smile,
Then the car

β€”β€”

My new favourite actor, #2 after the #1 Keanu Reeves. Is it that important? No, no it is just fun to have someone smiling wide and sweet in busy days. πŸ˜€

Today I make him special by putting his pictures in my Instagram posting #1999! Beautiful number for beautiful man!

Ladies and Gentlemen, here is Rene Jean Page!

Enjoy your weekend!

if someone can smile this wide and still look sweet naturally, he is most likely fun and warm β€” irrelevant logic because of getting charmed by his smile πŸ˜‚

my dream car is Audi! 😍 not my dream guy though (because I am not sleeping), but still worth liking πŸ˜‚

just fyi, funny comments from friends came immediately to posting #1999 πŸ˜‚

Next Flight

Learning, Poetic
I wish to meet you
And greet each other sweetly
Where sun looks red round.

β€”β€”

sometimes I imagine I meet a long lost friend in one busy airport and we greet each other β€”- β€œlong time no see, let’s have some tea!”

(Changi Airport picture – Rain Vortex)

Upside Down

Learning, Poetic
Sometimes it feels dizzy
To look things as presented
Then I flip upside down
Things are weird
You become so within reach.

Once the twig cracked and broke,
I fell down
And you were nowhere to find
Before talking
Without goodbye.

β€”β€”

i’m a fool

Pearls on The Cheeks

Learning, love, Poetic
Pearls sliding down
The slope of this face
End in a clear lake
Reflecting a tiny shadow
Of my singing heart

About this journey
About the weak
About the unprotected
About the underprivileged
About those
Who are turned to a line of batteries
To charge a machine
Called
Greed.

Wet my cheeks,
Flood my heart,
Keep me clear
So I can see what is.

β€”β€”

choosing to spread smiles and to silently recite unchained melody of peace and love to those πŸ’• the least I can do

my praying heart goes to those civilians especially those underprivileged, weak, unprotected, betrayed anywhere they are on Mother Earth

May all beings be happy. Free from suffering.

πŸ™πŸΌ

(picture from Pinterest)

Sunflower

Learning, Poetic
I live here
On a wandering planet
Where sunflower grows
Looking up the sun
With no question
Until maturity arrives
And she will face only the east
Where hope rises.

Indeed.

β€”β€”

(picture from Pinterest)

Life Is Prancing In A Rainy Day

Learning
Life is prancing in a rainy day.
Arrows of raindrops race sprinkling down.
Splashes of mud jump up to the boots.
Raincoat waves to the wind.
Rucksack, a pendulum on the back.
I don’t want to pretend.
It is cold.
It is dirty.
It is wet.
Yet I wave with my hair,
I celebrate with my head,
I dance with my body,
I prance in the weather.

Life is rain
Fertilising grass on this path,
Cooling down a hot day,
Washing off fear,
Disguising tears.

There is nothing like a rainy day
With which I prance all the way.

β€”β€”

it takes 48 years for me to finally realise that life has blessed me all the way

(picture from Pinterest)

Hidden

Learning
What’s hidden’s beauty
Admiring silently.
Reciprocityβ€”

β€”β€”

getting off from bus #857, i saw something silently looking at me as saying β€œhey, sweet heart how was your day?”

it’s this beauty!

Beautifully, Humbly

Learning, love, Poetic
The tree sows thousands of seeds
That fly to all directions
And never return
Until the wind stands up
And calls.
Which seeds come back?
Any
That hear a mother
Beautifully sings with love
Humbly whispers with peace
About home
Full of
Love.

β€”β€”

this is how much beautifully humble my mother is β€” with that she has been highly respected by those surrounding her; I won’t be as respected as she is yet I want to at least preserve some part of her humbleness πŸ’š

Carrickfergus (song)

Learning
I wish I was in carrickfergus
Where the castle looks out to sea.
I would swim over the deepest ocean
For my love to be with me.
But the sea is wide
And I can not swim over
Nor have I the wings to fly
I wish I had a handsome boatman,
To ferry me over, my love and I.

(part of the lyrics)

β€”β€”

Carrickfergus is a song that has charmed me with just some words in it and the flow of its music. Some words sound very old yet familiar to me, waking up something ancient in me that feels home.

Carrickfergus itself is a place in Ireland allegedly one of the oldest towns there. I’ve never wanted to visit the place although it is quite well known.

i have the cassette in which this song is in β€” yes, cassette that I bought back in 2002 πŸ˜ƒ

Happy Birthday, Ibu

Learning, love, Poetic
Everything is centred.
My mother.
Everything is meaningful.
My mother.
Everything is wisdom.
My mother.

β€”β€”

she was meeting her doctor for medical review on her birthday today β€” she said her health and children are the best gift forever πŸ’•

Ibu and me in Jabal Rahmah (Mount of Love), 2016 β€” wishing our love spread to everyone around us

a tumpeng by me for my mother, sent via WhatsApp πŸ™‚

Soaked

Learning
Soak the self in love.
Treat the life with all blessings.
Every breath counts hope.

β€”β€”

these ingredients will be soaked in water for two days before applied to hair after shampoo

this time: rice + ginger + rosemary + pomelo rind