Ten thousand of clouds
March to count the day to come
Of happy birthday!
โ
๐

graphs of my Universe
Ten thousand of clouds
March to count the day to come
Of happy birthday!
โ
๐

What are you, my love?
Keris, scissors, needle, knife?
Whichever, be sharp.
โ
One young scholar once said โLet the old self of yours die, live as a renewed self every day and you will fall in love with yourself not because you feel more beautiful or better but because you know you are more and more authentic.โ
Thank you!

Peaceful, Beloved,
Sitting remembering you
In this sweet silenceโ
โ
Sometimes just donโt get it why Japanese is like that but now accepting it as it is a culture with which a nation is built and shaped based on nature and history; like a Korean being a Korean, a Javanese being a Javanese, an English being an English, a Vietnamese being a Vietnamese, etc. As long as it doesnโt disturb loyalty and integrity, itโs ok. ๐ฅฐ


Artist, Beloved,
Proportional and perfect?
No. Flowing riverโ
โ
When someone is so much a master of something that no labels or names of techniques are needed to pinpoint what s/heโs doing to perfect completion, s/he be an artist.
When will this human being be the artist of her own life? At least the artist of her own breathingโฆ. It takes not only talent for her to become an artist, maybe she needs courage to be wrongly perceived! Maybe she should be at least misunderstood that she seldom breathes right?
๐
Salaam.

The top, Beloved,
Only with you I go there.
Others are wasted.
โ
Others are wasted.

Forbidden city not.
Imaginary power
Ruined through historyโ
โ
Whatโs built on weak foundation will collapse. Lies, betrayal, tyranny, iniquity adorn the strong marble slabs and zhennan wood logs, remembered through time.
Life is undeniably karmic: what is sown is what is reaped.
So satisfying to see time reveals the truth!
Salaam.

Point zero, my love
Here now, unshakeable ground
After the earthquakesโ
โ
Iโve been a full time thinker for the past one weekโฆ. Thanks to the physical weakness brought by the virus! ๐ฅฐ And here is the ranting abridged ๐
Life has always suggested me to walk through places where paradoxical situations exist and has made me weigh what life path should be chosen. Luckily life has always sent me angels (fallen angels included ๐) who remind me that life isnโt only about exploiting whatโs considered lucrative and physically pleasant; itโs also about exploring whatโs wising-up and spiritually enriching.
When I was young; books, courses, lectures, workshops were kind of โsubscriptionโ I had to shape a level of mental toughness. Yet there was exhaustion and anti-climax for intensity every now and then (good deed included ๐). Losing faith, difficulty to trust human beings and skepticism to almost everything triggered me to deconstruct my own mindset.
Another โpoint zeroโ came and brought a decision to take a course inspired by one friend named Eva (not one of my close friends but she is definitely one trusted human being). I promised to myself that this would be my LAST course to finally be unshakeable me.
I flew to Edinburgh and was driven from the airport to a place called Chisholme House by Mr Brix who became an excellent opening of my self re-discovery. He introduced me to the richness of self re-discovery even before the course started. That was when I felt so lucky to have read Ibn Arabi, Rumi and English literature although not extensively and to have learnt Javanese wisdom that is considered โlocalโ by many of my friends (which I always disagree) as Mr Brixโ languages were using all those keywords in the repertoire from my literature reading and cultural wisdom. Indeed Mr Brix was a โgateโ welcoming me to a true friendship or fellowship bonded by humanity.
The course was simply daily schedules for us to an experiencing life or โhuman beings who workโ โ physically, mentally, spiritually, socially in connection with their own self, other human beings and nature. Of course the classes was the superb! Collins, Hiroko and Aaron were excellent facilitators and to me they are role models of ordinary yet impressive human being! Collins was a loving husband and father cum the best administrator. Hiroko was a loving mother and wife cum an excellent painter! Aaron was an excellent chef cum wise philosopher! ๐
It was so normal a life that I felt so blessed. We woke up in the morning then took a bath or at least took ablution. We started the day with a group meditation โ everyone: the course participants, kitchen staffs, office staffs, garden staffs, etc except those who overslept. Then we had breakfast โ English breakfast! After that we started the class; the staffs started their duties. After that we had tea break then WORK! Work meant doing the assigned chores (garden, kitchen, house, laundry). After that class again then English lunch! Then lunch break for one hour. Class again. Mediation again. Work again. Afternoon tea. Personal time (we could go to the hill, forest, sleep, talk to staffs or participants, whatever). English dinner. Discussion time. Free time. Sleepโฆ. Repeat.
Completing the โself re-discoveryโ, I found that life is like riding bicycle, balancing while moving. I lose, I win. I fall in love, I break heart. I get sick, I get cured. I trust, I distrust. I think, I feel. I work, I take a rest.
Balancing is about knowing the limit. I lose against someone/something but I gain wisdom. I fall in love at the same time I have to accept the unpredictable responses. I get sick then I will be cured. I trust with or without reasoning yet can also distrust because of the true or false reasoning. I think based on logic yet when logic doesnโt count, only feeling of acceptance will neutralise the situation. And, when I am tired, I should take time-out. Just like that!
And I actually graduated with flying colours from many โextraโ lessons: doing laundry, washing dishes, house keeping, potato harvesting, making bread, cooking English lunch, preparing dining table, raking dry leaves, going up and down the hills in the rain, walking in the moorland, listening to silence, listening to othersโ opinions, identifying and recognising true intelligent people, trusting the right people at the right time in the right place, respecting stupid idiot (myself included ๐), taking a bath in the cold morning, and more and more!
And yes, that was the last course in my life. Ordinary yet impressive, like what I always want myself to be to and for those having in touch with me.
I want to be back there not as a participant but as a guest in the English breakfast or lunch bringing a best friend who deserves an ordinary yet impressive life.
โฆ. ๐
Thanks for today! ๐ด
Salaamโฆ
โ




Torii, Beloved,
Opening from here to here
To be entered nowโ
โ
Iโll always make tomorrow morning inevitable in life like a torii that connects here now and another here now. These happy steps are walking from torii to torii, with another pair of steps inevitably aligning with me.
Salaam.
๐

Negative, Beloved,
New paradigm that builds life;
Breathing is blessings.
โ
I thought that virus was reluctant to approach me until that funny doctor said bitterly to me last week โThe Gov will SMS directly to you but these sudden symptoms give me a hint. Take care.โ
After some inconsistent (+) and (-), being a lethargic patient (the virus pulled all muscles down) and a slow thinker (MZ sent me a confusing email of mine) of home quarantine, Iโm back to my own self!
Thanks for toning this pride down. I was not that healthy.
Thanks for curing me. Iโm dependent on You.
๐

Nowhere, Beloved,
To depart. Wait for next train.
Look around and pray.
โ
Checking my old photos, I saw an almost forgotten one. A station that was giving me the most alarming experience in that trip.
Back in April 2017 I was in a solo travel for 20 days in EU region when the train from Lyon left me no choice but changing train in Bourg-en-Bresse. It was rainy and windy, almost 5pm local time, some passengers got off with me but all of them went out of the station (perhaps to go home) and only I stayed to wait for the next train at 7:15pm.
For almost 45 minutes and no one was coming. A group of young men entered the other side of the railway. They sounded chatting and giggling. I tried to avoid looking at them. It was my first time feeling insecure in the trip.
I continued reading my book (now pretending) as I felt so uneasy with the noise across the lines.
โHi! Lady!โ I looked around. No woman but me. Damn! They called me.
I didnโt say anything, my eyes looked back to my book.
โHi! Hi!โ Donโt say anything, Rike. Donโt look at them. My left hand slowly moved down to my Swiss knife in the inner pocket of the jacket.
Only prayer in heart and some strategies that were taught by my brothers on how to use the Swiss knife and simple kicks to defend myself from bad guys.
โLady!โ They shouted at me more loudly after some time.
โLady!โ The guys laughed out loud among their French words. I saw them waved their hands to me. They whistled at me. I wondered why no one was here but those guys. In my country there are always many people selling things around railway station. There are always tricycle riders moving around.
When those guys got even merrier and happier, I saw a shadow moved the tall doors behind the guys.
A tall black lady drew a trunk and went across line 1 to line 2 and to line 3 where I was almost ready to hurt any of the guys if they approached me.
The guys stopped their noise. The lady walked towards me.
I didnโt feel better. This lady could stop the guysโ laughters and whistles, she must have been able to do stronger thing than that including killing meโ I had to be alert!
โHi! Going to Geneva?โ A soft voice greeted me.
โHi! Ya! Are you?โ
โYes! The train will arrive soon.โ
โThanks God!โ
โNo, it is just the schedule.โ
๐
We eventually were sitting in the same cart. She was working in the UN headquarters and traveled back from personal leave. She said I was lucky to take this train, not later one that might have made me encounter with more men in the station unluckily often drunk.
โThanks God!โ
โNo, you just need to choose the right timing.โ
๐
I almost forgot that I met this smart wise tough lady. Wherever you are, Madam, I wish you good luck! Thank you for saving me with your timeliness.
Salaam.

Broken clay jar, Love,
A love letter torn apart.
Message of a heartโ
โ
How broken you are, I will always love and respect you as a clay jar that records history and memory, in the hands of an ignorant they become waste and rubbish, in the hands of wise lessons and wisdom.
Iโll take your broken clay jar to kintsugi craftsmen in near future trip just in case they can also repair broken clay jar. ๐คญ
Otherwise, Iโll keep it in my mini cabinet of curiosity to be a reminder that a heart is so fragile or so broken and so worth handling with care.
Salamโฆ. ๐๐ผ

7, Beloved,
Oceans, mountains and heavens
Represent this joy!
โ
Canโt move on from number 7. Thanks so much! ๐
Journey, Beloved,
Counting every blessed milestone;
Deletion of doubtsโ
โ
My personal definition of Australia: where beer is consumed more than water. It might be wrong to others but that was what I saw with these very eyes with no doubt. ๐

This life, Beloved:
Mysteriously composed,
Beautifully doneโ
โ
This sight is defeated just by a sheet of paper. I canโt see what You can. Iโm surrendering this self toโฆ
You. ๐
Salamโฆ

Rest day, Beloved,
Befriending with long slumber
Cooling down the heatโ
โ
๐ค

Helianthus, Love,
Compliment from Mother Earth,
Beauty kept not pluckedโ
โ

Tulips, Beloved,
In joy they sway by the wind.
Daffodils do, too.
โ
Hi, tulips. Hi, daffodils. Miss you, miss youโฆ. ๐๐๐

These eyes, Beloved,
Sparkle behind a curtain
Hiding your shadowโ
โ
Thanks for these healthy eyes. ๐

Biโrsweet, Beloved,
The way perfect life tastes;
Subtle craftsmanshipโ
โ
It takes high skill to blend tastes. It takes perfect acceptance to enjoy the concoction presented; otherwise, just go fasting. ๐
Welcome new week.


Say hi, Beloved,
To those making you feel good.
Life is abundant.
โ
When very good plan and very bad weather collide, it takes just a breath to be back to feeling good mode.
Life is too abundant to consider a lost day a loss.

Blooming, Beloved,
Her delicate sword lilies
To adorn Augustโ
โ
Gladiolus: faithfulness and integrity
Happy weekend!

Balance, Beloved,
Steadily walking with you
Enjoying the swayโ
โ
When she is perfectly poised, life serves her the best.
Thank you!

Orange, Beloved,
Mixture of red and yellow;
Calmly encouraged
โ
Orange is the color of joy and creativity. Orange promotes a sense of general wellness and emotional energy that should be shared, such as compassion, passion, and warmth. Orange will help a person recover from disappointments, a wounded heart, or a blow to oneโs pride. (excerpted from BournCreative)
Thanks for today.
๐

Good fruits, Beloved,
Fresh, crunchy and colourful
Carved on her sweet smiles.
โ
Itโs a blessed night: fresh for the rain.

Equal, Beloved,
Weighing process and result
To find the unknown
โ
Some Math teachers would be very particular about whether 6 is 3×2 (2+2+2) or 2×3 (3+3) in studentsโ homework. Conceptually mathematicians consider those two operations different. Yet to me as long as we find the solution, why catch a bullet and die?
๐ฅฐ

Thank you, Beloved,
For being humble. Next time
Poke that brain with this.
โ

Fly free, Beloved.
Go home when you understand
That youโre peace itself.
โ
Dream is but a dove flying free and to go home when knowing who it is.
May all beings be happy,

Earrings, Beloved,
Catching envelops with wings
Flapping happilyโ
โ
Dangling earrings are lovable! They give beautiful noise like songs of angels.
May all beings be happy. ๐


Blue sky, Beloved,
Where clouds swim before the rain,
Dreams play on the swingsโ
โ
Bring me home to rest before next destination.
Thank you for the blessings. ๐

Home – Jul 31, 2022/19:46
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