Twins

There are twins in life
Where mirror is concluded,
Balance is guarded.

my most worn twins — one pair is 6 years old, the other is 4; wait until both are uncomfortable to retire 😍

this time a room with twin bed is chosen, not because i stay with someone but i want to experience a different type of room — the same design, just the bed is different 👍🏽

the Twin Towers across the 38th floor

Preference

It's a preferred life,
Not a perfect one. Not much,
And she's fine.

45R is one of my preferred brands (doesn’t mean i buy a lot of its products though) – its good material is preferred, its most designs are not as they are to me “very foreign” ☺️

Navigated

She's navigated
By stars that cluster in shapes.
They're glowing maps.

remarkable aspect of manta ray behavior is their ability to navigate across vast distances

a friend who didn’t meet for quite some time met me again in Hanoi and brought me this manta ray for my bag

she said she will invite me soon to her wedding 😍

thank you❣️

About manta ray

Learning from Tarot

I realise that I am a meaning seeker and I seek meaning in anything interested to me.

I seek meaning in the holy Books, in my own self, in nature, in literary works, in work of art and even in Tarot cards.

I don’t regret my failures of putting the right meanings to things as they’ve brought me here.

Thank you❣️

Four of Cups

⬇️

many lament over life as if they have no love ignoring a hand offering love 😁 what an irony!

thanks to my dear self who has found a pinch of self love in the journey – not perfect yet, hope it be before the end of this journey

Fresh and Unique

I wish you a fresh air
That brings coolness in a hot day,
And lullabies me in a cold night.

I wish you a unique vibe
That loves me romantically,
And beautifies yourself naively.

banana flower salad — fresh and beautiful

young rice ice cream only in autumn ☺️ — unique and cool

Cảm ơn, Hanoi 🙏🏼

The Fool

This fool
Is learning
Through
Humming and
Walking with a friend and
Greeting fun adventures and
Kissing the flowers and the air.

Hello,
Fool.
Be sweet life!

one of my best friends is a prominent tarot master in Ubud, whose reading always reminds me that I am The Fool — thank you, De Nov ❣️

Chair

Some people choose flowers,
Some ice cream,
Some either as the chair is the glazed pleasure,
Not what's before.

there is a chair behind flowers, there is a chair behind ice cream — which chair do you want to sit on?

In Javanese culture chair symbolizes status, authority, power.

The chair can also be compared with someone who gives one’s lap for sitting that symbolizes comfort, indulgence.

Seems like those two are different but both can give the same quality of life either positively or negatively.

When someone gives you comfort as if you are everything, yes you might be everything but that person at the same time is controling your status, your authority, control your power — making you a puppet graciously. Graciously at least, you said.

There is a Javanese adage “wong yen wis dipangku mesthi mati” that can mean “put someone on your lap and s/he will die”.

Pangku or pangkon is one device in Javanese script to “close”, to “kill” a “root consonant” at the end of a word. When an alphabet is followed by a pangkon device, it will turn to a closed consonant, a “dead” end.

pangkon: the Javanese alphabet that provides lap to a root consonant and closes or kills it 😍

e.g.: how “harusa”, “makana”, “minuma”, “bapaka”, “rudala” and “kusuta” are turned to “harus”, “makan”, “minum”, “bapak”, “rudal” and “kusut” by a indulging pangkon

Congratulations. You’ve got a chair. You’ve sat on a comfortable lap. You are the master of a universe. Yet remember, the chair can topple down, the lap is just a part of an individual who has mind– the master mind that governs you. You lose without truthfully winning. 💕

I see just a chair. With flowers. Or with ice cream. Or with both. Or without any. Both sweet through different senses, enticing for comfort. For just a glance. For just a sniff. For just a lick. For just a second. And then blended with a familiar taste name “just now”, a dead end before now.

A chair is a past tense adorned by a hope.

Dear, Life. Thanks much for the endless love. I need no chair except the mountain under the white cloud. I need no lap but breathing this fresh air. And how much ever I want someone or something, I will never take them from their chairs or their laps. Let them be empowered or expelled there — it is their best place. Be peaceful❣️

Let me be with those sitting on no chair but the lap of a naked soul. ❣️

Thank you, dear mother tongue. Even your Phonetics and Phonology bear insight and wisdom.

Thank you, my twisted-cum-twisting mind.

Never Matters, No More

It doesn't matter
Wherever I am.
I can find all
The air breathed,
The water flowing,
The fire flickering,
The wind swirling,
The earth stepped on,
The night falling,
The morning rising,
The day counting
The breathing towards
What's here and now.
No destination matters
As all is about this.

the best is now and here

The Right Things

If you want to climb through me,
Step on my shoulders,
Not on my head.
These shoulders are strong enough
To bear and push you up.
This head is only to decide if what you do is right.

hard-boiled egg is my preference; you can prefer medium or soft or even raw to consume but all of us peel the egg before eating because that’s what we call eating it right 🤪 and don’t forget to eat it with mouth, not your eyes

Tested Every Day

Failure seems ordinary
As I am tested every day
And pass
With or without flying colours.
I just need
A faith to cling that
I am not alone battling.
There is you.
There is
You.

very much welcome – tested by beauty; i could not stop wowing in silence 😍

i am fasting and getting tested with these sweets and freshness 😍 not difficult to pass this easy test though

The Fool

Stepping in
To the wood
Under the sun,
The moon,
The stars,
Swarmed by the wild;
Ahead she prances
Along a composition
Orchestrated by the air.

be a fool in the ocean of falsehood

realizing that being a fool is an enjoyable journey in life to earn meanings without burden

A Cup of Tea

When clock slows down its intensity,
Bring me a cup of tea
With which imagination
Grows wild silently
And another cup
With which the Twin Towers
Are swallowed by dark night.
This cup of tea
Has freed me.

one more won’t harm me ❣️

Sense! Sense Beyond. (ranting)

(regularly updated for accuracy)

The way we see beauty shows how we perceive life in general. There’s no rigid standard of beauty. Each person votes beauty based on the culture nurturing him/her. The culture formulate beauty through space and time and unsensed dimensions with which it evolves and grows through the history of humankind.

To a female best friend a beautiful man can only be postulated through a man named Nicholas Saputra. To another a beautiful man is Keanu Reeves–this one I agree 😎. To another Jeremy Renner. To me a beautiful man can be as acceptable as a humble man is kind-hearted, responsible and healthy.

To a male best friend a handsome woman can only be described through a slim lady with flawless porceline skin and red lips like those modified ones from Korea. To another one a handsome woman is a Sandra Bullock. To another one is Rihanna. To else she can be anyone who is willing to accept their men the way they are.

In China, Africa, Europe, Java, Pacific definitions of beauty can be poles apart. Big eyes, round eyes, almond shaped, slanted…. Full lips, thin, thick, wide, heart-shaped…. XS clothing size, S, M, L, XL, XXL, plus size…. Straight hair, wavy, curly…. Etc, etc, etc…. Those physical descriptions identifying human body are blessings to some, curse for others; depending on how the bearers perceive beauty.

Ladies, you are all beautiful the way you are when your heart blooms genuinely. That’s what I always tell my nieces. And to my nephews I always say you are handsome and becomes super handsome with kind heart. Physical beauty will only be an empty box wrapped in fancy paper, no gift inside, no meaning but a space of living. Well-taken-care-of plain beauty with kind heart is a box of surprising precious gift well wrapped in clean paper.

Which one should we want? Any! No right or wrong. Yet to me –an-almost-half-century-lady– kind heart in a plain beauty is so much appreciated!!! Nothing compares to good heart in humble beauty.

😊

To dear nieces and nephews:

I love you. Be the light to your own darkness with healthy body and good heart.

Your senses are not only to catch what’s physical. Sense beyond! Beauty truly lies in a hidden heart.

❣️

this might be the only Coldplay’s song that I can listen to the whole day non-stop except low-batt ♥️ a biutyful alien I am!

💕

Dear, You

Dear
Young heart,
Fly to the moon and back
To the green meadow, humming.

Dear
Old body,
Bury me where banyan seeds sprout
Reaching out to sky, breathing.

Dear
Ancient soul,
Free me from any shape
So I can be alive anywhere you sow me.

I went to a small civilized** farewell party for a friend in KL, Malaysia, taking selfie before crazily singing in Red Box karaoke.

Life is short, be kind….

Or….. Just take a selfie.

❣️

Salam.

** civilized to me means NO FREE SEX, NO DRUGS, NO ALCOHOL ♥️

just take selfie when you’re feeling good

take selfie when you’re not in the mood

take selfie although people think it’s weird yet you’re nartistically free and freely glee

Luck

Anger, Beloved
Swirling stream drawning what flow,
Demolishing luck--

Anger can bring unluck, now I believe that.

I was furious because some people made unnecessary mistakes. Although mistake is mistake that can be fixed but covering up is another level of mistake making a mistake not just a mistake. I can never accept when people are not well treated, not well protected, ignored, disrespected.

anger is maelstrom

I still could not get rid of the patches of anger even after some hours. No sleep cured it. No food did. No nothing. I felt my body tremble whenever thinking of how those mistakes were made and so on and so forth.

This very morning I realised that my anger didn’t bring good things. It brought me heat in head, unclear thought and unlucky events. And the unlucky events were the worst as I’ve always been feeling lucky in my life.

Look what happened to me….

I queued behind a lady who failed scanning her fingerprints and facial recognition in the immigration autogate that made the waiting too long for such a sophisticated system. My Malaysia Digital Arrival Card submission failed 4 times today. My passport identification page got folded. My automatic bagagge check-in failed, with a bonus of bitter sour unfriendly female airline assistant treating my passport like a trash.

Please forgive me, dear self. Those mistakes do not belong to you and you are not responsible to bear any cost; they are those people’s, let them deal with any consequences possible.

I feel lucky.

Feel lucky.

Lucky!

Why

None ever knows why,
All happen through unknown plan
Swarming around light
Celebrating unknown-ness
Night after night with no end.

kind of amazed that Daniel Goleman is into meditation 🤯

Souvenirs

I bring souvenirs
Wrapped in a pouch made with love
For you who's waited.
This pouch might be forgotten,
The fragrance's always missed.

a batik pouch to wrap an oleh-oleh for a friend — all is handmade by me, done in about 4 hours; no sewing machine, only a pair of sciccors, a ruler, thread and needle

tell me what makes us meditate better than doing things with love

the body part is cut from printed batik “Truntum”

the round base is cut from printed batik “Wahyu Tumurun” using a stainless-steel bowl as the pattern

the waste including some Hansaplast to close some small cut on my finger

About oleh-oleh

Traded Wisdom

You sell some wisdom
That unwraps with mere breathing
Dimensions and faith.

6 sheets of handmade batik are currently flying to my home; they are wisdom scribed on white cotton by some humble Javanese women who are willingly dedicating life as tradition protectors

matur nuwun 💕

Much Ado

There’s much ado
About what’s not done.
Shakespeare said that’s nothing.
There’s much ado
About what’s promised.
I said that’s nothing.

4th day of Ramadhan 💗 nothing but so much smile at my own cookings

Hidden

All cracks in the stone
Show what is glowing inside.
Light in the darkness—

2nd day of Ramadhan – craving another one that is not shown through a photo 😁

Endured

There is pain
And patience
In endurance,
A chemical compound
That swims in blue skies,
Gets sprinkled down to a pool
Where Superman
Is endured.

i met Sam who swam for 20 laps of 50-meter long pool today – she swam without stopping at all, while i stopped in the middle just because a leaf poked my goggles

Sam was 65 and she said she also started like me (not consistently moving, she even said she preferred the small pool of 25-meter long near my block) – sixtyfiiivvveee!!!

she said she pushed herself past several years before finally enjoying the 50-meter long lap with no stop back and forth for one hour

see you in two days, Sam! thanks for inspiring me with your humbleness and endurance 💕

Own n Owe


I don't own this body
I don't own this heart
I don't own this soul
I don't own this life

I owe
You.
Yet do
You know that
You owe me, too?
All these limited experiences that imprison
You belong to me.

All in all
I belong to
You.

some part of me is a monk, some part is a bitch and that fact makes me perfect of being a human

💕

(picture from Pinterest)

Care

Care comes from nowhere
Free of charge in a white bag
Called good heart.

coming home from office today, i found a white bag from no name — without opening it i knew it was sukun (breadfruit) from Aunty Goh, the kind lady

thank you❣️

With all the limitation some people are still willing to share. This touches my very heart.

Ramadhan (Islamic fasting month) is coming soon. Although sharing is not necessarily done only in Ramadhan, yet doing it in a month when I subdue more physical desire will expose myself to more meanings of life– hopefully. Sharing starts with Aunty Goh and the gang!

Please allow me, dear Aunty Goj to cook a simple dish for you this week.

Salaam.

❣️

Balanced Kites

I am soaring
Like a kite
Finding its balance
Through moving air.
This kite is a rhombus
Proven mathematically,
Tested naturally,
Crafted beautifully.

You are flying
Like a kite
Decorating the sky
With rich hues.
That kite is a bird
Coloured green and white,
Singing sweet and mild,
Shining keen and bright.

batik sido luhur, pethak

Sido Luhur is one of classic series of “batik sido” i.e.: Sido Luhur, Sido Asih, Sido Mukti, Sido Mulyo and Sido Drajat.

Batik Sido Luhur pattern is the closest to the Sido Mukti one.

This pattern was composed by Ki Ageng Henis, the grandfather of Mataram Kingdom founder, Panembahan Senopati.

Batik Sido Luhur is composed of adjacent rhombus with various ornaments in each of the rhombus such as building, temple, butterfly, bird, lar gurdho (one wing of Javanese eagle), flowers and shells.

Batik Sido Luhur can be dyed with white (pethak) black (cemeng) or orangy brown (sogan) as background.

Sido Luhur is literally comprising 2 Javanese words: the word sido that means to be or to become, and luhur that means noble, honor and dignity.

As a norm in Javanese tradition: what you wear (especially in important occasion or function) is an exhibition of wish and pray. Batik Sido Luhur is meant as a wish and pray for those wearing it to be granted honourable heart and good role model for others around.

Batik Sido Luhur batik is often put on the bride in the night of midodareni (one night before wedding ceremony) also as a form of prayer and a hope that she be healthy and become a wife of honor and dignity.

Batik Sido Luhur is also put on the mother-to-be during tingkeban or mitoni ceremony (traditional ceremony when a mother-to-be enters the 7th month of pregnancy).

I just got a pair of Sido Luhur in white and am willing to own one pair in black and one pair in sogan.

I just got a thought of seriously becoming a batik curator. What a sweet dream!

💕