Forever

A strand of white pearls
Harvested in the deep sea
Bedazzles her neck.

————————————————————

There is time when I regret of what’s done and nervous about what will happen. Why did I do that? I should have done this. What if I fail again? I am not good enough.

I used to think money was everything with happiness but I prove that money is the biggest illusion in life that I misunderstood. Now I consider money should be merely a tool, never a purpose. Yet I still think of what if my company stock price decreases? 😁

I used to look for happiness and protection in a relationship. With experiences I become strongly convinced that only a healthy relationship with the self can help me cope with problems; moreover, without healthy relation with my self any relationship with others won’t work well. Yet I still don’t heal from broken heart easily and still think whether or not I will meet someone I can share some simple happiness and shelter with.

I was between life and death situations more than once for some illness before, and so helpless about future. And gradually I realise that death can come anytime even when people are healthy. Yet I still hope I die when I let go of any confusion and live in clarity.

However, there is time when I know that only in the now I can accept everything. In the now I can shed tears with mixture of gratefulness for what’s breaking my heart and blessings of what’s boosting the quality of life. In the now I can smile just by seeing piling laundry waiting for ironing. In the now I can see the canvas is the door of self healing. In the now I can imagine sending a cake full of love for my loved ones who live in many different places, whom I cannot visit with many reasons. In the now I can see shades of real and true happiness in each and every experience from wake up to sleep.

Thank you for the now and now and now that form a strand of pearls called forever.

I live forever until the last now meets with the first now.

Al Fatihah to all of my loved ones across the oceans. I bless you happiness.

Salaam….

back on track, contemplating with colours
do things with love, the definition of love? enjoying good things to the fullest or, in bad time enjoying the process with patience 💝
thank you, Emily for the message 🪶🙏🏽

Moment To Simply Live

Life pace, Beloved
Chosen wisdom, loved glory
Of everyday life—

————————————————

I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.

One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.

When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.

Time to prepare.

Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.

May all beings be happy. 💝

next one week flower arrangement
enjoy the moment
extended appreciation to those in my heart
someday flowers will be daily life for me, not weekly anymore

Quests

Dogma, Beloved,
The least she can hold in life.
She is full of quests.

————————————————————

What human beings should think of being sick is it is a tool materialised by Life to make them stop or at least slow down especially from analysing every single thing. Yet human beings often forget that blessing should not be always gift-wrapped in fancy paper with ribbons; it might be sometimes humbly bundled in a sack.

Blimey! Why do I have so many sacks? And poorly unable to untie them successfully 😎

May all beings be happy.

a pile of ugly sacks; filled with all the richness of nature

Self Love Or Selfish?

Self love or selfish?
A striking question to me
From me about me.
The answer hangs up the call
Coming from behind my head.


—


Singapore, October 26, 2020 - 9:45pm

Arid Land, His Heart

I never want to hurt myself, I just didn’t know who you are.
I got hurt by a cactus in a desert
Who pricks little fingers,
Who just want to touch this life softly,
Not hurting, not taking anything away.


Wounded, I decided to blame stupidity:
Why did I have to have to have to have to have to just touch cacti? I should have left that arid land long before I touched a prickly spirit.


A delayed regret is less important than a lesson learned but it always gives a story the most significant pivot.


Now
I’ll just admire from here
From where I stand
With millions of prayers
For a secret journey.
Yet I know you are a ghost days and nights.


Someday when I pour down the rain,
You’ll know.
Love is as sweet as water in drought—
Maybe—
If it is not late....

May all beings be happy.

Looking In To Self – haiku

Your self perception
Doesn’t represent true you.
So is self portrait.

10% of self portrait hasn’t even captured the spirit of the person being painted. It is either a failure of technique or absence of realism talent. Or both?

May all beings be happy.

Take A Break – haiku

What does Friday bring?
Laundry, canvas, wok and pan
Wrapped in a good mood.

My stubborn headache and stiff neck suddenly vanished this evening….


I naturally love my job and love it even more every day with the space between two weeks!

May all beings be happy.

Empty Talk of Friendship between Self & Love – ranting

There are times when you feel people pass by you igniting some fire inside of you. Oops! Not you, it is me. There are times when I feel people pass by me igniting some fire inside of me. And that day is ruined, work isn’t fun, chores aren’t fun, good movies become boring, good books become rubbish, many things become lousy.

This evening I looked at the face in the mirror, scrutinised the body line, touched the thinning hair and felt the throbbing core in the chest. Closing my eyes, those faces of people igniting my fire jumped and jolted out of my head…. And some inner songs are sung to the Self.

Dear Self,
All coming to you as Teachers with different what and how.
Some people come teaching with words.
Some others come teaching with actions.
Some others come teaching with emotions.
The others come teaching you with the combination of those.
You’ve gotta accept those people lightly ‘coz they are just Teachers.

Oh, Love
I don’t feel like having Teachers anymore.

Dear Self,
Then take them as Messengers.
All the words, actions and emotions are lines of messages, prophecies, justification, validation, rectification…. Or even judgement for you, on you, to you.
Just take them as Messengers and let them go freely and lightly. Don’t hold on to who they are. The messages and the way the messages are brought to you is more meaningful than the Messengers.
Let the Messengers go. They need to send messages to other human beings.

Oh, Love.
I know now.
My hair becomes grey and thinning because of the ugly voices.
My skin and flesh becomes flabby because of the cruel hands and feet.
My eyes and smiles become dull and gloomy because of the laughter and anger.
Those are all the reflections of my own deficiencies, not those Messengers’.
I care too much on who and whom and that has made me so tired like Heaven.

Dear Self.
Now that you know….

Oh, Love.
I don’t know

Dear Self.
But you said you know….

Oh, Love.
Let me revise. Now I know that I just need to see thing as it is, not adding assumption, perception and loading emotions….
That way I liberate myself.
That way I unlearn what have blinded me from the reality.
That way I accept things as they are.
That way I judge things neutral.
And that way I can live lightly.

Dear Self
Good!

Oh, Love.
Nothing is good or bad.

Dear Self.
You start to talk wise like me.

Oh, Love.
Aren’t I you?

Dear Self,
Stop.
Time to eat your fried tofu then sleep….

Oh, Love.
You are wise and know what I need….

—-

Note to Self: sometimes you don’t have to take life so heavily; otherwise, your head will explode before its due date. Eat then sleep! 😁

5783CADE-99E2-4DB7-83AD-94FB765815D9

Wither – music and lyric

When the dream has fallen down
Let it go.
Move on.

Though not wither, hope can dry out and burn itself down like forest in heat fire….

May all beings be happy.

Who’s That YouTuber – haiku

Who’s that YouTuber
Breaking the bones to pieces
But reviving Self?

Singapore – Jun. 7, 2020 / 22:11


I never imagined before that I will have enough time re-watch Studio Ghibli’s then watch history-based Korean TV series —Hey! I don’t watch that Itaeawon Class type of thing— then take random choices in Netflix (If you know Dead Poets Society, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, The Little Rascals, The Hobbits, 47 Ronin or Assassin’s Creed then you know what random means to me) and…..

…. additional contents in YouTube other than those I’ve been following for years. Too much information: I’ve read less recently 😷

And here is what might have been one worst result of all the watching thing: I found Chloe Ting’s YouTube channel and decided to join the 30-day challenge to get flat belly. And I can’t just give up! I’d better make Super score for myself! Or else, I’m gonna hate gym forevah!

Thanks, Chloe Ting!

May all beings be happy.

🙏🏼