Tickling My Ego

Sometimes I’m somebody
At a conference room
Where win-win
Isn’t always a solution.
Powerful—
Decisive—

Sometimes I’m anybody
When long lost friends
Suddenly say hi and cry
“Would you please help? Would you help?”
Unconditional—
Used—

Sometimes I’m everybody
When I blindly devote myself,
When I wholeheartedly do everything needed,
When I run around everywhere to find you.
Preoccupied—
Stand-alone—

Sometimes I’m nobody
When I feel my heart beats,
My breath slows down with calmness,
When I know nobody is with me.
Blissful—
Submissive—

Thanks, my body.
You’re a complete gift to me.

I dedicate the above free verse to Emily Dickinson who has touched my life with many of her poems especially “I’m Nobody! Who are you?”

🐣

Salaam.

this poem was introduced by Ibu Siti Parwati Soemarto, our lecturer who always challenged her students to bravely see who we truly are – 28 years ago! damn I’m an old nobody! how bitterly fair life is! Terima kasih, Ibu Soemarto. 💝

Flowing

The flowing rivers
Full with floats and mud blocking—
My idea stuck.

It takes space to bring creativity back like river needs cleaning and dredging to make it flow again.

Picasso, help meeeeee!

May all beings be happy.

thinking about colours can be a traffic jam like a canvas standing in the middle of toilet, bedroom, storage and where I stand 🤹🏼‍♀️

Amazing Day

No day but today
The remembrance about you
Lives through melody.

—-

Amazing day is when my teacher said that my guitar playing is getting better. 💃🏽

There will be one day perfectly amazing when Coldplay’s Amazing Day is smoothly played along by me. Soon, soon!

Thank you, Sunday. Welcome, Monday.

goal guitar cover of Amazing Day – a must happen!!!
or this! 👏🏼
😱

Home, A Journey

Have you heard of the word home?
I often think of what it is
And where it is.

My friends all say it.
That it is where shelter is,
That it is where family is,
That it is where safety is,
That it is where heart is,
That it is this earth that spins,
Blah blah blah,
That it is this,
That it is that.

What is a home?

I’m not as intelligent as they are.
I can only tell what’s not a home.
Sometimes my apartment isn’t a home.
Sometimes my childhood home isn’t a home.
Sometimes I don’t feel safe staying in this safest place.
Sometimes my heart is flying across the ocean while I’m sitting in the sofa.
This earth is traveling to where I don’t know.
Sometimes I just don’t believe what my friends say about home.
I’m sorry for being not so intelligent as all of you are.

I will keep identifying what’s not home
Until I’m home.

home, where roses greet me in the morning 🌹

What’s Behind Beauty

They live in the mud.
Flowers wanted. Story not,
Real beauty that’s missed—

Dark and bright, two limits that often corrupt my perception of facts and so affect many plans. In fact both bring different strengths supplementally support my life.

What is it about? Oh, it is just about that night ride is cool and serene, morning ride is colourful and fresh.

In the dark I hear more; when it’s bright., I see more.

Hey! Riding morning makes skin darker! Damn right! 😿

Salaam.

the blooming happiness along my normal route of fun this morning
they’re all resting buds last evening
mostly living in cluster, colourful
same colour cluster
two of them
living at the edge
solo
isolated duo
supporting system
hidden
some can see their reflection on the water, some not 💝

good time

Good time, Beloved,
Sitting silently, centred.
Grazing on the time—

—-

Life is never bored of reciting how grand a name when zoomed in and how tiny its reality when zoomed out. Oh! It is the other way around, tiny when zoomed in and grand when zoomed out.

don’t disturb, she’s enjoying her good time as if she’s real – is she?

What is your name, dear? Deer!

what is an animal as sturdy and cold as metal? this! is it real?

Are you a buck or a stag? You don’t look like one. Or, you look like both?

Sheltered

The dark shelters you
From the dark behind the light.
Blinking starry eyes—

—-

Vision sits silently through blinking light, on and off showing clarity of direction.

Thanks for everything.

Salaam. 🙏🏼

you see through the right eye – no, no, not always right

Go Jazz

Go jazz, Beloved
Improvise on your own path
Where hidden seeds grow.

—-

Jazz is like secret love, confusing and almost unknown at the first catch but wrapped in harmony through time… and space? Seems space never takes my side. 😎

Jazz each day up!

⭐️

Java Jazz is on – wish I were it 🎷🎺

to a secret love across the ocean ⭐️

To The North Star

Forward, Beloved,
To the North Star. Ride the wind.
Ignore the thunders.

⭐️

Lower Seletar Reservoir – thousands of mosquitoes but breezy and serene to see bright stars
in good mood with red riding hood 🚴🏻‍♀️

Yellow

How are you, Yellow?
Happiness, warmth, sunshine, or
Other perfect fits.

—-

Nature never fails to convince me that all are beautiful given appropriate angles. Not all love winter but with the yellow crocus growing in the middle of white snow, who will say no?

Yellow isn’t my favourite colour but the yellow crocus is one of those I’m wanting to see with naked eyes to witness Mother Earth’s generosity even in its coldest period.

May time lets me explore more places on earth.

🐣

yellow crocus, brightness coming out of the icy blanket
imperfect drawing but making my day relaxed and bright

SIN – May 25, 2022 / 21:57

Taken for Granted

For granted I take
The green, the blue and the red
Until they turn grey.

—-

Sometimes I’m thankful that I’m not given opportunity to have children. I can’t imagine what playfulness and nature exploration they will have in their future with very minimum real nature around. I’m thankful. 🥰

Sometimes I’m broken-hearted that I’m not given opportunity to have children. I can’t agree on how some people raise their children. I egotistically imagine how well I would raise them to be human-respecting and nature-loving generation in the family tree. I’m selfish. 😐

Meanwhile I’m always feeling lucky to be me, born when and where nature was willing to introduce her excessive bounties, grew up when and where human interaction was real and warm, working when and where human right and environment protection is a paramount topic. I’m blessed. 🥰

♥️

just realised there is a fully shaven greenery farther across the road 🙃
zoomed in – oh…. maybe not long after this the greenery around me will turn to patches of garden and playground among grey concrete 🙃

Smile

A smile, Beloved,
Not to or for. It’s just there,
A ready bounty.

All the lyrics and the music — lyrics were recited, music was listened to. Those lyrics and music were so beautiful that they invited the best smile of the day. A smile that appeared like a good shape coming out of a foggy morning in the moorland. Until some reality struck, telling that those were directed more to a head than a heart, and to somewhere else.

Uh oh!

Well! A smile must still be kept. It is a grace, an alms, a bounty, a gift, a bonus, an appreciation; or from hidden wisdom formed through sedimentation of things annoyed yet forgiven. Or probably a smile is a package of lyrics and music — sweetly flowing. Aaah! Must be appreciated!

Put a best smile on the face and world will smile, too.

May all beings be happy.

😊

because I know any news is worth smiling – bitter or sweet

Time Zones

Time zones, Beloved,
Limit spaces with blurred ends.
Illusion that jails.

One hour makes things different.

Dear, time…. Thanks for the space you just gave for what’s called holiday. Please bless me with nice pace and good vibe again and again like always.

If I forget about your kindness, please remind me gently as I’m fragile. If I take you for granted, please remind me that I’m traveling between your two points: start and end.

Thanks again.

Me that is blessed with both negative and positive yet trying to balance at the zero ❣️

illusion that jails – time zones
sky is the limit – love?

Amazing Day, Today

Today, Beloved,
Filled with laughter of past times.
Bitter was, sweet is—
Time doesn’t heal. It turns taste,
Look. All is well. All shall pass.

Rendezvous with my best people, those who are always with ears to listen and to be listened to, with tongue to twist bitterness to wisdom, with foolishness to laugh at what’s not even funny but needing some appreciation.

Some people are amazing with just one reason called trust.

Blessed to have them.

Holiday is getting shorter. Let’s slow the steps and insert more meaningful conversations before it halts.

May all beings be happy.

🐣

TA – May 12, 2022 / 11:46am