Tag: beloved

My perspective about you might change all the time.

It might be about in which angle I stand when looking at you, or
How far I distance my sight when observing you, or
How full circle I go around you to see all sides, or
How long I stay in one corner speechless enjoying the daisy, or
How critical I pull all the dots of you looking imperfect in these eyes until I find it's the lenses impaired that I can't see your beaut so see-through, or
Simply how I accept how you describe you....

I always want the last as I want you to tell me about you.
But you know, sometimes I don't trust you....

Let me trust you.

all is true in its own position – layers of truth apply to human beings’ journey; clarity is truly important to make the right decision, belief is important to stay in the chosen lane

A Small Gift of I Love You


a small gift of i love you

my love to you is as much as the space among drizzles washing off my sadness

my love to you is as much as the pouring rain among the space giving me pure breeze

this weekend has welcomed me with sprinkling blessings like the rain in a desert

each day is a new day when sky opens wider horizon and shows me what i didn't see

do you feel the same?
the space among the rain
the pouring rain
the desert that celebrates
a horizon that keeps widening--

i love you.

thank you for making me smile a lot

💙

in life i learn to accept that love is sometimes not enough; it takes strategy to make things happen and i don’t want to strategize in love

i don’t want to force because i believe life has given me so much so if i don’t get what i want, it doesn’t mean a loss

that i have the ability to love as sincerely as possible is a huge blessing; that i don’t show it openly, it is to ensure everyone’s safety, dignity and comfort

flow, flow, flow

i love you, i love you, i love you

An Empty Jar

I will love you
As an empty jar
Waiting for streams of words
Telling me stories,
Containing drops of secrets
Petrifying in our soul,
Concocting ingredients of ideas
Writing beautiful love stories,
Catching breeze of affection
Weaving sheet of loyalty.

loving you like i am an empty jar

You

This journey is a quiet seating with
You.
Whether you get stuck or flow or flood, I won't leave
You but
I leave it to
You
Wholeheartedly.

this is me surrendering to

You

take me in your love gently like a breeze in a warm day

When

When I feel helpless,
I will recite
Your loveliest verses
And send them as gifts
To those closest to my heart, whose life
Is a dedication to parents with
Love equivalent as what they received at childhood.

I am here, now
And lucky
So I shall share love
How subtle it has been.

Dear, Beloved.
Please accept my hollow heart for
You to fill with love,
And love only
How hard it has been.

i wish my ripples are of love and love only

Sometimes

Sometimes
I ignore the name
When I know it is the same.
Dear
You, 
How your beauty and majesty
Has encapsulated me
In one existence called
Life!
Now I can only choose either
To love or
To leave.

they call it “Mie Kari” in KL, it is “Laksa” in Penang 😘 in Singlish it is called “same same but different” 😁

Reasons to Love?

I've learnt reasoning since
Forever.
I gain what and what
Through stingy allowance
To let things happen in life
Except
One,
You.
I generously gain
You.

Beloved,
Can you please sometimes tell me why I should not love?
Should I love king only? Or should I not for he is too high?
Or should I love beggar? Or should I not as he is too low?

Or should I learn now that
There must be reasons to
Love?

Life is sometimes showing me
Love
Then taking it back cruelly
With little to no chance.

i beg your guidance, always

💕

Surrounded by You

Want I

To be surrounded by
You
Where laughter is generous,
Thought is serious,
Confidence is contagious,
Maturity is glorious.

How merry
To have conversation hilarious!
Once in a while though days look rigorous,
That's when it is to my senses obvious, 
To my thought serious
That you're famous
Surrounded by
Thousands of those
Marvelous.

Sigh I.

surrounded by beauty

Sonnet of A Tiny Love

Pondering where this tiny love story means,
Counting breathing through hope in highs and lows.
In I breath fragrance of rose, out jasmine.
How beautiful! No one but a key knows.

The breeze sometimes softly shakes the heartbeat.
The river flows tampering a quiet mind.
The fire ignites a heart that longs to meet.
Under the drizzle the sun warmly shines.

Beloved, is it you she's waiting for?
Is it her you're letting in your grand throne?
The cloud hanging disguises sweet flavor,
Or the flavor is love and love alone?

Love is beautiful with cloudy sweet dream.
If time allows, rain stops, be shown sunbeam.

there’s a girl within falling in love, a woman without daydreaming of love

be real, woman! the girl is as true as your love itself

never doubt your heart; trust your life

Fear & Hope

Learning, life, Poetic, This Person

Dear, Beloved.
Thank
You
For reminding me
About being humble.

I won't
I won't
I won't
Let this self
Boast of one's self.

Please always tone me down
When I am too high.

Yours truly,

One of
Your breathed
Soul....

the first page that i continue reading from “Fihi Ma Fihi” directly slaps my ego to tone down

thank you for not giving me long time to feed my selfishness

thank you for reminding me that i still have fear to shadow my hope and ears to listen to what universe whispers

please protect those that i love the most from the imbalance between fear and hope

thank you, always

[only in Bahasa Indonesia]

Learning, life, love, This Person, Those People

Found a dearest good friend wrote a touching message in Instagram this evening and would love to keep it here — only in Bahasa Indonesia though

My translation into English might never be good enough to contain how compassionate her message is. You might want to translate with Google.

Note: it is a verbatim text

❣️

bertahun lalu, ketika berkesempatan mengunjungi ka’bah, aku duduk menatapnya lalu berucap: “tuhan, tunjukkan aku cara membaca (iqra) alquran. karean aku tidak percaya tuhan mana pengasih maha penyayang se-strict itu.” aku mengacu ke penekanan pada dosa dan neraka yang kerap diangkat.

sejak itu—atau sebenarnya jauh sebelumnya, aku percaya tuhan terus menjawab permintaanku: hidupku adalah tanggapan tak putus dari tuhan atas permintaan itu. dia menunjukkan betapa dia maha pengasih, maha penyayang dan nama-nama lain yang terlingkupi oleh rahman dan rahim.

aku dipertemukan dengan manusia dan makhluk lain (kucing misalnya) yang menunjukkan ragam bentuk kasih sayang, diperjalankan melalui peristiwa-peristiwa yang membantu melembutkan hati—atau menunjukkan di bagian mana hatïku masih perlu dilembutkan; dan dititipkan pada sekolah-sekolah yang secara gamblang membimbingku untuk lebih berwelas asih, berserah, dan merayakan hidup dan keagungannya.

manusia sejatinya bisa berjalan sesuai fatwa hatinya; bisa tergerakkan oleh arahan jiwa (spirit)-nya; bisa hidup dengan lebih jujur minimal kepada diri sendiri. utopis? atau bisa jadi pemikiran bahwa hal ini utopis telah membatasi kita?

banyak yang ingin kuceritakan. bukan untuk mengajarkan, karena siapalah aku ini. namun, lebih ke berbagi. siapa tahu ada yang mengetuk hatimu, lalu kau mengetuk hatiku kembali. Sama-sama kita belajar menjadi manusia.

ingin bercerita, tetapi belum tahu bagaimana. kutaruh tulisan ini di sini sebagai langkah awal. atau, mungkin, kau punya cerita, kegelisahan, pertanyaan, atau ide yang bisa melanjutkkan pembicaraan ini?
terima kasih.

❣️

Thank you, dear friend. You’ve touched my heart many times, I hope I’ve at least once done as good as you.

Thanks for making room for me. Always.

Salaam.

The Music Is

Once I saw a name
On one of my 100 days
Then a cloud flew
Over the same night
Sweeping away a story
Leaving an end
Hanging silently
With no word
Just my throbbing heart
Counting how long spaces were.
Then I asked you
"Did I really see
You?"

—

A Guest

A guest, Beloved:
Someone enjoying your home
Then a warm farewell

—

it’ was either me or my friend the guest here; yet we both enjoyed today’s dinner so much

Self Portrait

How do you look, Love?
Are you as fierce as tigers?
Or as cute as cats?

—-

picture from Pinterest

selfie is a modern version of self portrait — we can be the best artist we’ve ever wanted and shown the world the best version of our interpretation of our appearance

I love selfie — it is a freedom to see myself, not always good yet that’s me 💕

i tried to paint a self portrait yet the result is sooo artistic that I can’t recognise my own self 😃 i have a friend who is painting not really nicely but able to capture the character of the subjects — i should practice more ♥️

I think one year is good enough to at least knowing how to capture the character, painting nicely is never my goal

goal: capture the tigerness in my catness and the vice versa ❣️😊

Memory of Fun

Learning, Those People

Vito and Ocka in fun flash rehearsal in the costume storage room 😁😘

💕

his life was about fun and memory about him should be about fun, too

Never-ending Prayer

Learning

In a prayer
Millions of pearls
Are dangling
In a line of blessings
Letting go off
What is called
Attachment,
Co-dependency,
And ignorance.

When darkness traps
What is called hope,
It is love
That keeps it sparked
And sparkling
Before it is free,
Traveling light
On a beautiful orbit.

——

my boy, I commit to celebrate your life and dreams instead — be always in our heart; you are so much loved, you are always remembered 💕

alfatihaah 💕

Pink Rose

As pink
As rose
My heart
Chants you
Forever
As love
That throbs
Through blood
And tears
And breath
And words
In heart
And body
And mind
And spirit
And soul

you might not like pink rose but this is the most beautiful petals with which i can sprinkle with the least tears for your no-turn-back journey 💕

our last Bali tour with Ocka was our most testing trip — the rain and storm and damn how would you stop driving every three hours and said “Mbak, i am hungry i can die driving” 😁

our love is about laughter and wit ♥️

my broken heart in romance has turned to a minuscule particle compared to my broken heart of losing my beloved nephew

Surrender

Bob, Learning, life, love, Map It!, Poetic, This Person

With no white towel
I surrender
To the realm that hugs this heart.
I am water flowing
With no effort
To the ocean that waits for this mind.
How would this name
Say no to a call that sings love songs?
I submit everything
With a smile
And grace.
Body, mind, spirit and soul—

-

Jun 10, 2023
when the air taps my whole reality
with everything subtle and overwhelming

——

please excuse my strong arms 😀

after the Tapa Brata my classmates and I are still escorted to meditate everyday of 60 minutes for 90 days

it should be 36th day today but i only have 33 days in which i am able to do full meditation — in fact my doctor was quite surprised that unbelievable progress is indicated in better numbers from the laboratory test result after i meditate regularly — happy tears 🥹

my health is much better with calmness that is on track and harmonious thought that builds gradually

i’ve registered to next level Tapa Brata next Sep so i can get more benefits to help certain issues in this beloved aging body and to strengthen my mind

can’t wait to meet with the wise teachers who guide us and humble caretakers who help us with daily needs in Forest Island 🥰

i don’t know for sure what i can share from my achievement through meditation yet maybe someday i can help others reduce health complaints at low cost — i’ve always wanted to cure diseases with fragrance and herbs; my high intelligent friends said “pseudoscience, a crap wrapped in fancy paper”, i said “it doesn’t matter at least i can help them feel calmer and think positive”

all what happen in my life are like magic both the unexpected and expected — i hope my meditation brings more good magical celebrations to me and my beloved family and friends

and all…

May All Beings Be Happy

💕

One

Learning

One or at least one at a time 💝

You!

Dream Catchers

Catch my dreams, my love
The ones I could not.
Share the joy, my love
The one I would enjoy.
Let’s smile together
At the road we’ve taken.

You might have missed some dreams
Caught by your beloved around.
We’re dream catchers
Catching the ones
Delivered by the brightest fireflies.

Happy for good
Joyful forever.

—

i’d always wanted to be a journalist, i can’t for some reason — but she’s the one reaching my dream even much better 💝 god bless you, Dan! 😘

No Regret

One by one they fall,
Petals decompose to soil,
Fertilising life—

—

when i see more fine lines under my eyes, i feel blessed that i am alive up to this age; i wish to live longer with the same amount of love or even more 💝 there is no regret for all are signs and turns to the home 💝

A Loving Visit

Learning, life, love, Map It!, Poetic, This Person, Those People

A loving visit beyond time and space. Salaam. Universe answers.

—

when you’re loved, people still visit you even when you’re nowhere 💝

when you’re loved, you’re taken care of even when you’re nowhere

beloved – visiting him with love, see you again

Smile

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Smile, Beloved, smile.
It’s a luxurious gift
For you and for me.

—

I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.

Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. 💝

Thank you!

💝

sleepy, angry, yet stop telling me to take a nap! 😂😂😂

classroom, my party time; playground, my party time, my childhood was everyday party! 👯‍♀️

length of hair defines how I treat the world; i love my pretty silly me! 😃

Blessed


I love
You
Without throbbing heart

I love
You
Without nervous mind

I love
You
Without going date

I love
You
Without touching each other

I love
You
Without intense conversation

I love
You
With the breeze of mountains

I love
You
With the wave of oceans

I love
You
With the dew of mornings

I love
You
With the sound of music

I love
You
With the hue of flowers

I love
You
With the flow of dreams

I love
You
With all whose reason is unseen.

How rejoicing and exciting.


(The Lover’s love to the Beloved)

Poem, Beloved and I