Forgiveness

Anger, Beloved
Consumes hope, kills compassion, 
Drains the lake of love.
Know nothing is permanent.
She forgives all. Karma paid!

Everyone wants to be pleased, which is not wrong. One said that that is like throwing things to a bottomless hole, never ending craving for pleasure taken from others. It is ok to want to be pleased, but don’t suffer for not getting the pleasure that’s wanted.

Change the bottomless hole from a waste field to a mine; that way it would be found the precious experiences, appreciating what’s in and not focusing on what’s out.

Befriending with one’s self is the most challenging and at the same time most fun time. It is 24/7 for the rest of one’s life. Enjoy the ride.

Be kind to others but first of all be kind to yourself, Self.

Summary of a good chat with one best friend.


Ode To Agam

Agam…. You, the strong boy

Though left behind by mother, father, and all friends who used to protect and enjoy wild life together in your past…. In the beautiful past….

Now even only your name I can remember. Your weak body slowly gave up and sincerely let the soul travel back to the Source. Tears fall and fall and still fall, Agam….

Agam, this ode flows with my tears singing about your happy nature, your painful heart for being separated from your beloved, your tired physical for struggling alone. Adam, my dear boy…. you have been loved and will always be loved after you left us….

Agam, send my best regards to the next life across the border. Someday we’ll meet and greet each other. You are saved from longer pain….

Forgive me,

Forgive us,

For not loving you enough, for not taking good action, for being so selfish….

Sing now, Agam. Cuddle to your mother. Be happy, the real happy!

  • Agam is a baby elephant surviving after his mother was poisoned to death in Aceh, Indonesia. Agam fell into a well and helped by people but his leg was broken and because of mistreatment he died. Was he abused? I can’t tell. I just want to tap Readers’ awareness about other fellow creatures. They exist not to be abused, they exist to be loved — show your affection, take action how little it is would not waste.

My heart is so broken that I have no gut to see Agam’s picture especially the last one when he was in great pain before leaving….

Singapore – October 31, 2014 – 9:15pm

Forgiveness

Everybody makes mistakes…..

Can I deny that I do? The only thing I can do is to be able to forgive myself for all mistakes I have done in my life so far.

This is not easy to forgive others and even much more difficult to forgive my own self who have committed mistakes – many – of which part are planned. I don’t want to talk about the planned mistakes. Let’s just talk about mistake that is just mistake…..

My father passed away just one day before I got home. I planned to see him after so long I left my house for work in Jakarta. I was in a hard time adapting the cruel capital city that was blessing me with my first job after graduating from university. I was a secretary in a small company by then. My boss was a very pious person that treated all employees very well but then his company was not big enough to make me enough-paid to buy ticket to pay homage to my parents. So…. I had to save money for almost one year and of course to take a “decent” leave. I call it “decent” because I was needed badly to support other departments so that I did not dare to file for a leave at any chosen time.

That is my biggest mistake, it was almost unforgivable. I cease blaming on my self after so many years….. I cried when I remembered how painful it was to be poor and not able to pay a visit to beloved father who was sick and dying….. And, probably he was missing me so much. Please forgive me, oh my own self….

Then it happened again just this year.

Bob, my cat son was sick. I should have been able to pay him a visit. The ticket was affordable for me. It was just because the time did not allow. It took a long hour from Singapore to my mom’s house. From Changi airport I have to fly to Surabaya which is no problem at all, but from Surabaya to my mom’s house it would take 5 hours and so I have to spare at least 24 hours for the travel. I did not have that much time at that time…..

So, I let him die without me around…. This is almost unforgivable, too. I was sinking below all roots, could not see the beautiful flowers of my life in which those beloved ones nurtured before…..

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Then….

I reconcile with my self.

What should I do? All is over.

My beloved father and son passed away when I was away. That might be what they wanted. They did not want me to see them die. They wanted me to just see how happy their life was when I was around.

They have always wanted me to commemorate their good days. They have always wanted me to celebrate our togetherness in a positive way. Like they have been saying to me “Be happy, Rike. We are always happy with you…. Celebrate our life with your good memories. Don’t cry for us. Smile for us. We will meet again in the next life.”

So then I tell myself softly that I should forgive my own self because my father and my son have forgiven me. They will never hate me just because I never touched their bodies before they were buried. Their souls have been surrounding me from then on, so they are never away because of being separated by the container called physical body.

Oye, Self….. Please cherish the love. Never forget that the soul can be communicated with even when the bodies are cremated or buried or decayed in unknown places….. Ask the souls to talk to you, listen to your explanation and apology, sincere apology.

It is never too late to realise.

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Soul is always here. In the same matrix and ready to mediate.

So, please use the time while you are awake. Tell them how much you love them, how strong we are all connected and how big the sorrow will be if the forgiveness is not shared…..

Quezon City – March 4, 2014 – 9:37pm