This love’s, Love never
Dubious. It’s the window
Clouded with questions.
Had a weekend call with one of my best friends and always ended up with haha hihi and hehe…. Joyful and fun! Yet love is always a-must topic. And today’s love’s topic was that it is never wrong —both the feeling and whom we love. It is questionable when we expect the same from those that we love.
Painful! Indeed. Like getting beaten by snow flakes in the coldest winter on the way to the warm summer. Whether you survive through the journey or you return to the previous path.
Sun yawns. Morning comes
No earlier, no later
Without a mantra.
I had a chat with one best friend about mantra. Long story short, we agreed that everyone can have one’s own mantra that works wonder as long as the mantra is recited with all one’s heart. Then we decided to compose our own mantra to help boost materialising the dreams. One of them? To charm our own heart that is very difficult to tame— two stubborn ladies.
Then we exchanged mantra. Hers was straight forward containing what she wanted to happen and recited like rap song. Mine was a melodious song. Tried my best luck to sing it and sent the recording to her. Such a good day to laugh joyfully. And?
And we agreed that we both are funny and don’t have to worry about mantra; just need to believe that dreams will come true like the sun that welcomes the day from the east on time. Mantra is the right motivation and with it, what we both need to do is just to work on what we want to achieve.
Hey, hey! Our mantra were actually not too bad. We might release a mantra album someday. 😝
Life’s flame, Beloved
Gaseous, burning, glowing.
Choose your own spectrum.
What is urip iku urup? It is literally “life is flame”.
Most Javanese describe “urip iku urup” as “your life should be beneficial and/or helpful for others” like flame coming out from fire giving surrounding the light, saving others from the dark. Always do good things. Help others. Don’t make a noise. Don’t disturb others. Those are very normal advices coming from the Javanese elders. Not bad, but to me it is a jumbo burden to always being good and being nice and saying yes and not complaining when life is sometimes tough and forcefully dredging out negativity from the very gut.
I though highly respect this urip iku urup through my own interpretation: “life should be full of passion”. Only those with passion, zeal, enthusiasm, energy, commitment, excitement, fondness, zest, keeness, avidity, gusto, glee, joy can bring the most benefits of what they do towards others. Not so much different from what normal Javanese interpret, just that I prefer seeing things from how life radiates from within self rather than how it is measured through others’ benefitting my life. Simply put: I’ll do super best; if you get the benefit, that’s good for you. If not, tell me and I’ll make it better.
If you choose to be a teacher, be the best version of teacher you are. If you want to be a researcher, be the best version of researcher you are. If you decide to be no one, be the best no one in the world! There is a spirit of learning from the scratch and striving for perfection. And there is a sense of originality.
Flame has different colours, depending on the heat and intensity of the fire. Many think red flame is the scariest perhaps because it is the one bellowing in rage, eating up property in fire. However, it is the most external part yet actually of the the lowest temperature. It is the tongue, not the voice. The blue represents the hottest flame — it is the gas burning, the higher temperature, the innner most, the closest to the core. It’ll cook things faster but quiter! It is the vocal cord, not the voice.
In life people should choose what flame they want to represent in life. It is whether they want to stand out and be the red, symbolising the intensity of the whole fire! Or, they want to be outstanding as the blue and not arguably be the hottest support to the reds around. Both are ok. Just remember not to extinguish each other, Red and Blue. People need to choose their own roles in community. Some people are good at performing at the stage. Some are good at executing. Some are good at initiating changes and pushing from the back of the course. Some might be good at all but I doubt one person can be good at three perfectly at teh same course. If one thinks so, one will either overkill the people around one or kill one’s self.
Within self, red and blue is about act of maturity or choice of expression in many different occasions to face different situations with different people. How people process their experience and mold the wisdom within is a hidden flame. Let them do. Their timing is theirs, not yours. Sometimes they want to show their red, the other time they show their blue.
Flame is alive inside and outside! Be a flame while we live! You’re the voice!
If you listen to this song, you’ll see that urip iku urup -the so called Javanese local wisdom- can be found everywhere. Local wisdom is never local, it is universal value expressed differently by many in different places.
Salaam….
Note about the writing and the song: don’t bother, it is my interpretation 😊
When colours are tied
To canvas, the painter mourns,
“Dear, hard to move on.”
It says “One stroke at a time.
Sit down and relax your mind.”
Be patient, Self. Be patient. It hurts but nothing is permanent. Accept the pain but don’t let suffering take over this journey. Don’t break. Don’t break.
Thanks for everything. 💞
May all beings be happy.
I know this is going to be a favorite collection but every time I sit down to complete this painting, there is a big fear of failure. As if this squirrel perfection in mind takes over determination to materialise what I’ve dreamt. Oh, Squirrel!
Dive, mine pearls deep down.
True book with golden pages:
Self you’ve forgotten.
Past year without traveling and literally working from home has brought a kind of peaceful mind. Workload is still there but the level of stress is much much lower and that has made me a happier person.
What’s more, a lot of discoveries about self: negative, positive, wound, trauma, anger, disappointment, broken heart, happiness, honesty, fun, comedies, sweetness of my heart; all are blessings in different manifestation. What a period 2020 and 2021 has been! Socially it is a worldwide trial! Personally for me it is a deep wound of ignorance!
Slowly I realise that it is the way Universe teaches me what’s best to be a human being called me. I don’t like people to do one thing to me so I will never do it to others. But I won’t expect others to do what’s best according to me— let the Universe teach them how to do it….
Thanks Universe, you are the best teacher and teaser at the same time! I praise you and scold at you as I wish at the same time! ⚡️
Life is so just. You lose, you gain. It is just about time…. While waiting, befriend with your own self….
The hidden ID
Brings confidence and courage:
Covert exercise—
Wearing mask has good impact mentally: especially bringing more confidence to do what’s wanted to do (responsibly). Wearing it though might also give some rather unpleasant experience such as not breathing comfortably, needing to nod or squint eyes to show we are smiling, foggy glasses, etc.
While now we are mandated to wear masks once going out of home, hope someday soon mask is mandated only in some area.
Now let’s take this as a short training to be confident and to give up identity for a while for the sake of protecting each other. Training in and out!
Let’s mask ourselves in style. 😷
Tips of wearing mask: not too tight, find masks that give space in front of nose and mouth; disposable is the best but reusable is good enough (wear each based on where you go and whom you meet); change everyday for reusable or twice a day of you need more comfort; wash the reusable after use the soonest possible, sprinkle mask with some herbal oil to bring good air (peppermint and lemon are good choice for breathing); cute reusable brightens days.
May all beings be happy.
always practice squinting eyes in the lift before meeting people out there 😷
Anger, Beloved
Consumes hope, kills compassion,
Drains the lake of love.
Know nothing is permanent.
She forgives all. Karma paid!
Everyone wants to be pleased, which is not wrong. One said that that is like throwing things to a bottomless hole, never ending craving for pleasure taken from others. It is ok to want to be pleased, but don’t suffer for not getting the pleasure that’s wanted.
Change the bottomless hole from a waste field to a mine; that way it would be found the precious experiences, appreciating what’s in and not focusing on what’s out.
Befriending with one’s self is the most challenging and at the same time most fun time. It is 24/7 for the rest of one’s life. Enjoy the ride.
Be kind to others but first of all be kind to yourself, Self.
When shoe bites,
Stop walking, sit, check the soles.
Right foot is bigger!
I bought a pair of shoes through an online platform. No, no, not Cinderella’s shoes. They are a pair of brown flat ballerina. First ballerina shoes after seven years without them. For the past seven years I’ve been wearing flat shoes: sneakers, boots and feminine non ballerina because they are comfortable to walk. Why ballerina? I want to look cute. Let’s laugh together!
So, I tried them to walk around the home and tada! I decided to wear them outside and…. The test came. The right shoe started biting me and unluckily no back heel cushions were inserted. I thought no cushions were needed. As a result the right back of heel got a small cut and disturbed the walk.
something like these
It’s fine. At least I had some time of the day with ballerina shoes on, feeling beautiful (in mask, dear…. No one looked at you). Just sharing: now I understand why some beautiful women are willing to hurt their feet wearing those high heels and walking elegantly. They must feel much more beautiful with those much higher-heeled shoes…. 😌
I gave up and stopped at one footwear store to buy a pair of flat, light, white sandals. Life went back to normally beautiful to me…. Yay!
Good time to clean up:
Throw away what’s not needed.
Unstuff. Travel light.
Reviewing my Pinterest account once again, I found that I’ve been hoarding. At the beginning I thought it was cool to collect all the pictures for reference on some topics. Is that? Yes, to some level. No, to some extent.
But still I like it 😁
Checking my home, that’s more interesting. Too many books and they should be soon given away. Getting older, I feel that reading the phenomena surrounding me is much more interesting and enriching than reading books, except reading some comics as part of my language study. That’s better, too so I can save more for future dream— hope the future still wants me. 🥰
Cleaning starts! Some memories are worth erasing.
May all beings be happy.
Pinterest is still incredibly amazing; I’ll keep it 🙂
Not about the food,
More about gluttony. Good!
At least I still chew.
I joined “Eat Well Challenge” in which what’s consumed is calculated and what’s burnt is regulated. I thought it would be as simple as submitting what is eaten. Now I see how healthy both my body and brain will be as the calorie calculation include my weighing the ingredients and decision making on what’s best to combine.
The plan to cook duck has twisted a brain. Duck contains a lot of fat, which is the best part of it. Yummy!!! So…. Duck it is! When calculated, the calorie is high and when it is reported to the challenge platform, it is not counted as the expected healthy food…. Ggrrrrh!
herbs and spices lovey lovey!cute duck!hot duck!only the veggies are accepted as healthy food and the calories are not even half of the duck itself 😂
Don’t overestimate what’s called healthy eating because the calorie calculation will overwrite all the estimation exactly like when you think expressing love honestly will result in respectful rejection, instead you’ll get ignorance and humiliation.
Thanks God for always leading me to self respect and kindness.
Wind is sent to Cloud
Who pours Rain down to Soil. Grow!
Seeds inside emerge.
Imagine despair is like the earth longing for rain until suddenly the wind comes pushing lines of clouds that can’t suspend the heavy droplets anymore so turn into rain…. The earth welcomes each of the raindrops happily, hugs each of all seeds which have been buried beneath the dry layers of soil, almost broken, damps and pushes them up above the ground to grow….
Wind…. It takes just one blow of wind to see beautiful colours.
I do what I do
In my way. You do, too. With...
One goal: happiness
Different directions don’t show different purposes. Everyone wants to be happy in one’s own way.
I’m happy with 100 dollars, they’re happy with 101. I’m happy with biking, they with cars. I’m happy with chatting, they partying. I’m happy with this, they’re with that.
Spectrum of happiness
Happy Chinese New Year!
I bless you happiness! 🙏🏼
Long holiday! Yaaay!
💃🏽
two teenagers parked their scooters in front of me when I was writing this – incredibly coincidently presented!
Respect should be earned
Not through masks on the back but....
Genuine face on.
If you think I’ve ignored you, Beloved; perhaps you might want to turn around. You’ve had your back to me all this time…. Face the mirror and see who you really are. 💞
Gotcha!!! 😁😘
rose is beautiful even from the back…. but beautiful mask turns ugly coz fake fades away….
Name is a short spell.
Not yours, Beloved. It’s mine
Hanging in Heaven,
Echoing after yours called.
You can have it all.
How many names have you spelled in prayers? Are they the bold or the beautiful ones?
I call your name, Beloved ‘coz I know it infuses power into prayers like smoke of burnt incense billowing into the sky escorting dreams to meet the doors….
Loyalty: old-aged,
Mined, Rubbed, faceted carbon—
4C through life time.
Many women love diamond with different reasons. Some do because of its beauty. Some do because of its prestige. Some do because of following the trend. Some do just because of spending money on anything seen and wanted. Some do because of what it symbolises…. In fact its value has a wide spectrum like why we love someone.
Diamond is just a type of carbon. Carbon is what’s burnt to cook steak. Carbon is what’s chosen for media to grow orchids. Carbon is activated to be a medication for food poisoning. Or simply think of other things containing carbon!
Diamond though is a certain level of carbon which has been buried between layers of earth for millions of years, tested by the pressure, temperature. It’s hardened, purified, strengthened, crystalised.
4C is a familiar acronym for diamond lovers. These 4 C’s show diamond’s quality.
Cut: Quality of the angles, proportions, facets, and finishing details ~ level of craftsmanship and precision play important role
Color: How colorless the diamond is ~ less colour is the best but colour is at times defined by preference
Clarity: How clean the diamond is of inclusions and blemishes ~ the more flawless, the more valuable; but who is flawless, Beloved? The Death is flawless….
Carat: The weight of the diamond ~ small carat of diamond can look big; also determined by how the craftsman cuts it
Imagine a human being is a carbon processing one’s self to be a diamond. Stay regardless the pressure and temperature exposed to you, Self. Once you find you, you’re diamond in the making.
Lammie, Khanyisa,
It is the least I can do.
Friends are forever
When no discrimination.
Can I do? Need a try, sure!
Animals have taught me a lot about many things. One of those is unconditional friendship. Lammie and Khanyisa are a sheep and an albino elephant calf who have been friends without asking why their tails are differently shaped and attached, why their hairs are of different colours, why their teeth are of different length…. Language, religion, nationalities, and so on are never problems. They just grass, rest, play together. What a beautiful world!
If you wanna support Lammie and Khanyisa’s unconditional friendship, you can buy a mug with picture of them printed on it. Mine arrived today through DHL, welcoming me at the front door. Happy yay!
Thanks, Lammie and Khanyisa and HERD! You’ve been much smarter than many of my human kind. I’m sending love to you and your family….. 😘😘😘
Boneless tongue can lie
And taste, too. Leading the mood
To where you have been.
I miss Ubud…. Spending time alone or with some friends in a place where mind can freely digest what’s been hoarded through daily interactions at times bringing negativity and pessimism against life, is one of life’s great blessings.
Missing a place and can’t visit it? Cook the specialty!
Missing someone and can’t even contact him? Me? Hmm…. Just whisper his name….! 🥰
sate lilit ayam, urap kacang + sambel matahguess what – ground spices and herbs for the chickenall are finely sliced for sambel matahminced chicken + grated coconut + ground spices and herbs skewered around lemongrass
Foraging culture
Taking from nature for free.
She should gratify.
When biking, I see many kinds of flowers at the side of the roads and most of them just dry and fall off. Falling in love with them, I stopped and plucked some. Did I regret….? A bit of regret, yes but then I whispered to the reservoirs that I thank them for all the freshness and beauty they lend me every time I pass by…..
Showers of colours
Splash cheery hello to time.
I wish you warm heart.
Colours can bring certain vibes to a home. And so different colours of flowers create different atmosphere. Although not taking all for granted, I mostly check the meaning of flowers and wish that the supportive qualities symbolised by the flowers will be the energy filling the air.
Seeing morning’s sun,
Warmed by noon’s, serene through moon.
Only where I am.
Ever thought that where you are is not the best place on earth? Change your mind soon!
I’ve always loved Asia especially South East Asia. People might think it’s because I’m now living in that place and never go anywhere else. Yes, that’s a primary reason but there are other reasons.
Long story short, I tried short stays in different places with different climates and culture and I conclude that where I am now is the best place: enough sun everyday, relatively same length between night and day the whole year. What’s more we can find friendly neighbours —in big cities people are less warm but relatively quite friendly, access to more vegetables and fruit, food is tastier with touch of herbs, more affordable living cost, and so on and so forth.
Last but not least in where I live spirituality is a daily life blended with nature— no I’m not talking about religion, institutional religion isn’t an interest of mine anymore. People don’t have to wait until certain days to pray, God or god is just a daily reality, sacred in the heart normal topic in public. People don’t have to organise registered charities to help others; not all people are trustworthy but I love in a circle where integrity is topmost criteria to survive. People don’t have to be certified to teach spirituality class; when I was young I simply knocked on neighbours’ doors and asked them about cultural and spiritual wisdom and we didn’t have to pay a cent.
Not ideal to all, but that’s a perfect life to this person
I’ve always dreamed to have a home base in culturally-integrated-not-so-crowded city like Bali, Yogyakarta or Ayutthaya when not traveling. It’s gonna be a sweet, warm landed property that once in a while welcomes family and friends to share ideas about this fun life and their great mind. Oh, don’t forget with lots of plants and at least two cats around! Dog? Maybe, the lazy one so that we don’t have to walk it everyday 😘
Dream on, dear Self. Hug the imagination while weekend is around. 😁
rike jokanan 
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