Tag: life

Sunset, Beloved
Is the beauty that welcomes
Her serenity.

Gurindam 12 (only Bahasa Indonesia)

Gurindam is a form of ancient poem of (old) Malay.

Gurindam 12 (twelve gurindam(s)) is a set of gurindam composed by Raja Ali Haji in 1847. Raja Ali Haji was a poet born in Pulau Penyengat, Kepulauan Riau, Indonesia in 1808. He is one of national heroes of Indonesia.

I read it back then in junior high school when comprehension was not really well obtained. I wish to fully understand this gurindam before time is up.

Enjoy….

Satellite

Learning, This Person

Will it be possible to not long for you? I'm a satellite following you with measured distance, a constant give-and-take or push-and-pull.

Am I a moon to you the earth? Are you the earth to me the sun? Am I the sun to you the centre of the galaxy? Are you the galaxy to me the black hole? Or are you the moon to me the earth? Am I the earth to you the sun? Are you the sun to me the galaxy? Am I the galaxy to you the black hole? So and so.... We are revolving each other through layers or orbits just to find one self.

How beautiful how we position to each other truly is! Traveling together in a journey that we both silently know, religiously follow. It's the you that's me, it's the you that's you.

Jazz Up Your Day!

Learning

I found years ago that life is originally like this: flat, neutral, tasteless. It’s just life.

Then I realised that if I kept myself a log in a river, I would be deadly drifted before sinking somewhere unknown. And so I decided to be the river, a flowing river: moving as the stream not the one rolled by the stream.

So I put meanings: chosen meanings to my life. So I put some creativity (not much): little innovation to make my life more comfortable. So I put generosity: small sharing with those I care. So I put a pinch of drama: with which I concoct secret love with you & by which no one is disturbed. So I put jazz: relaxed beats in life that make me feel so much alive.

For those enjoying jazz, either music or vibe!

April 30 is International Jazz Day

It’s All Yours

Learning, This Person

At times it's hard to deal with what's factual
Yet I talk to the face in the mirror:
Aren't all these present by your previous decisions?
Or do you regret of taking what considered best by then?

Nothing is in vain.
There's always a trail I can trace back: choices and decisions I made.

What lesson?
Now don't regret. Tomorrow don't repeat the same mistakes. Yesterday is always valuable lesson. Never (again) blame others.

Is that what's truly it? Maybe just for me, not for everyone.

Timed

It's timed, Beloved
That that evolves. It won't last.
How blessed I'm mortal.

The Life List (movie)

Learning, life, Poetic, This Person

Life list, Beloved,
Not about glory or lost.
It's what truly costs.

I used to list what I wanted to do. Every year I made the list longer until I stopped as I’ve found primary list that I won’t forget to make come true.

One of them is writing my own book (I’ve written with friends in anthology books) so I’m working on it.

Another one is having a home where family and friends feel the true selves in them. My first house was but as it is located not in a preferred place, I decided to make a new one. Working on it–

Many more and I’m working on all of them.

They might come true or not as age is not predictable yet at least I’m working on all of them.

Sooner or later

Amen

If Life/Love is A Parabola

Learning

When I am in love, I feel like traveling in a parabolic track and passing by its vertex, a turning point.

Vertex is either the highest or the lowest point of a parabola. It is a point in which a mirror perfectly reflects left and right sides of a parabola. It is where a journey turns to climb up or glide down depending on what direction the parabola faces.

The vertex always lies on the axis of symmetry of a parabola, which is a vertical line that divides the parabola into two equal halves. It’s no different from life journey: only when all phases are gone through, the energy will repay. When the negativity is reaching its peak, life glides to the positive side and the other way around. Life will not let someone stay too long in one side of the story. Fair. Karmic. Cause-Effect.

Loving one person with a start and an end can be a perfect parabolic line with a vertex well found: balanced, symmetrical and fair. It’s not about reciprocity at the same time about reciprocity. It’s not about a broken heart, at the same time about a broken heart. It’s a line of perceptions that bounce back and forth mirroring each other until lesson is learnt (maximum/minimum value of a vertex).

From a cone I also learnt versions of love: Circle is a perfect love. Ellipse is full love with inclination. Hyperbola is love of one person to/for more than one person. It can be romantic or not.

A lame analysis; just for fun while enjoying Jakarta (heavy) traffic ☺️

Origami

What's origami?
Paper in a pair of hands,
Finding its beauty--

Mother to Child

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

Dear, Child.
Look at the stars
Blinking their signs;
The shooting star
Burning their directions;
The glowing sky
Telling their histories.

Dear, Child.
Listen to the old songs.
See the old galaxies.
Touch the swirling dusts.
Taste the sweetness of comets.
Smell the expanding universe.
All no limit
But your definition.

Hug me
As we travel.
Trust me
As we wander.
Like I hug
You,
Like I trust
You.

Dear Child.

body and soul is like a female and a male in a marriage as discussed in classes of spirituality

in Javanese tradition body is symbolizing the female that is also the earth — accepting, submissive and intuitive; while soul is symbolizing the male that is also the heaven — giving, powerful and guiding

yet to me it’s not always that way; to me yes body and soul is like a mother and a child — the mother holding an infant (can be a girl or a boy) in a state that the mother is making sure the child is purely happy

I personally believe as long as the soul remains childlike, the body is not suffering — accepting what is is the key

about this life I sometimes don’t want to define as definition is a limit

and so I don’t force my understanding to anyone even to those I love the most because spiritual experience is very personal, cannot be forced, can only be synchronised through mutual journey

that’s why spiritual journey is called silent path; even when we’re in the same discussion room, the expansion of understanding might be different from one another

let’s accept our own silent path with no judgment

❣️

Notes: it’s my personal thought, doesn’t mean to influence anyone, a ranting of a life traveler

Look

How do I look, Love
Before the mirror of heart
Talking honesty.

Who doesn’t want to look young or beautiful at the longest time? Looking young and beautiful is one of the best feelings in life. But how far can human beings stretch themselves to stay young?

Today I bumped into a movie in the flight from Hanoi to Singapore: The Substance in which a woman (played by Demi Moore) is struggling of being not wanted in the industry because of not looking as young anymore. The horror of doing so much to stay young gave me a wake-up call that liking it or not, I who looks younger than her age will definitely age and weaken through time.

How long can I stay young naturally?

I won’t look young all the time especially as I decided to not do expensive facial and body treatment. Factually that’s very not necessary (for me).

Truly at 65 this body is weak and can’t work as now. By then I hope that I can appropriately function as a wise soul staying in a relatively healthy body that does light works everyday until time kindly escorts me to the next gate of life.

Dear, Life.

Thank you for taking care of me.

Please always guide me to stay in the path of human being in the making as long as time allows. I might not get everything grandiose but I don’t want to lose anything precious.

Please give me big heart enough to always experience joy through all senses and to share it everyday.

Happy weekend❣️

Knot

A knot is a safe
For love to bind a promise
Until time is up.

I bought the gold knot stud earrings in Madrid, a place making me realise that a most stunning place can be the least safe one

when buying it, I didn’t know the meaning of knot: they just looked stunning

only when ending the 20-day solo travel in some EU countries, I know the knot stud earring means love and unity

beautiful!

Sweet Dreams

All dreams should be sweet.
They should leave beautiful trails
To be well followed.

living with acceptance is a dream

and I’ve achieved it to some extent; I’ve learnt letting go each and every day

and now I want to enjoy my life with someone who has the same project with mine: to live loving & forgiving, to die loved & forgiven

because to me that’s the only way to live happily

Why?

They ask, Beloved
Why repeated the same thing?
Based on what you do--

why I say the same ideas repeatedly, only moving the point of view?

because those are the things I not only know but also embrace, internalise and experience in life

saying something I don’t truly know and feel and walk feels like not stepping on the ground

❣️

Clear Glasses

Clear glasses, my love
With which colours and shapes seen
Are cleaned everyday.

it’s both the glass container and the glass spectacles should be clean to see clearly

exactly like one person’s action and the other’s perspective

❣️

Kitchen Calls

Kitchen calls, my love
Those in love with life and taste
And the folks in heart.

today’s ifthar with so much love

we call it bothok not the Botox injection — it’s tempeh, anchovy in grated coconut + santan wrapped by my hands in banana leaves 😍

sayur asem (sour soup) normally the sourness is from tamarind but today I used buah kedondong peel

Japanese cracker that I love always

still the Bac Ninh oranges

kedondong

Loved? Fulfilled?

Stacking oranges
Shine on a fruit container.
Loved fruits to fulfill

Love has many languages: more than 5 to express it. Fulfilment has only 1: getting/giving what’s wanted.

Fulfilment can be the feeling of getting attention, receiving compliment, passing a test, making a relationship, owning a dream house, invited to important events, getting this or having that.

But love…. I still feel my father’s love although he passed away > 20 years ago. I feel my mother’s love although she lives far away. I still feel my siblings’ love although we don’t talk with each other everyday. It’s the time & moments we’ve cherished . It’s smiles & jokes when gathering in our small dining room. It’s their hi through WhatsApp asking where I am & telling me to be well. It’s the reconciliation after small fights. It’s the blood that I can’t unflow from this body. It’s the karma to serve in the same family. The prayers that I know sent through whisper & breath every time we remember each other. My best friends are included, too.

I constantly need love; without love I will lose hope & die in despair. It stays in the heart & soul, fueling the journey of human being in the making. No expiry date for love: beyond time & space.

I need fulfilment in certain timelines. No big house forever. Not much money forever. No jewelry forever. I won’t need this body forever. The best limit for fulfilment is “in moderation”, “enough” & yes it’s based on my own evaluation.

I claim this shallow mind about love & fulfilment. I’m learning.

Thank you.

Note: This might not work for you. Find your own life treasure within.

💗

You

Learning, love, Poetic

I speak with you
With no language.
When with you,
I know no time.
In you I find me.
In me I find you.
Then we separate
To miss each other,
To love
With no limit.

Loaded

I'm loaded
With burdens
That are not on my body.
The suffering borne
By others
Has leak in
To this porous heart.

Let me be
In rest, Beloved
In the flow of
My slow life
That doesn't chase what I used to chase,
That doesn't crave what I used to crave,
That embraces the acceptance of what is,
That sits alone in room with
You.

how can I not care to those sick, hungry and sad around me who seek help from me? I’ve cried and maybe it is time to stop for a while

just for a while, Beloved

just for a while

before I walk again in this narrow path with grass and daisies around

to where my love suits her scent

let me rest for a while

before it’s time to be your loving hands again for a longer while

thank you….

❣️

This Light Heart

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person


Let there be light.
Let there be light.
Light in heart.
Light of heart.
Light around heart.
Light through heart.
Light borrowed.
Light lent.
Light along this journey.
Light journey.
Light heart.

this heart feels the lightest when I’m riding my bike, exploring the greenery around the neighborhood

rain, I love you but please pause on just one day so I can either visit the water lilies in the river or tropical flowers in the paths around the reservoir

💛

Journey

Journey, Beloved,
To the line where I started,
Timed with acceptance--

some people think when an effort doesn’t result in what is targetted, it means a loss — to me it is not a loss, it is a lesson learnt not to do better to win but to know how to let go more immediately, gracefully with less pain

no, not all can do that earlier — some people are just loving to compete against anyone in their journey not knowing it is a silent journey, they think any lane with others present is called a race

no, not all can do that earlier — some people think they are much more superior that can consider themselves excel in everything not knowing that they silently are left behind by many authentically much better in most aspects of life

”m sure everyone will be able to do it when the time is coming

it doesn’t matter, we’re all children of life

☺️

Note: negating, denying, ignoring: patterns that slow down maturity process

Wisdom

Wisdom, Beloved
Mothers who are born the last
By daughters called life.

a book from Periplus Plaza Indonesia – good to read during a massage with Mbak Idah

Jakarta has given me a short delay from a fast-paced life.

❣️

Heart

This heart, Beloved
Lives a limited timeline.
It can't wait too long.

I believe you can guess which one is today’s star: “sambel goreng kentang hati sapi” 💕

deep frying the Brastagi potato

heart that gives a kick!

the hardest work today after work

in Singapore it’s called “Indonesia potato”, in Indonesia we call in “Brastagi potato” aka “kentang Brastagi”; it won’t break when deep fried not like other types of Australian and American ones

4 Elements In Me

I'm water, my love
Living with the soil and air
Burnt by this blue fire.

To me clarity is more important than belief. With belief I might grab in the dark, to some level of darkness I might be frantically euphoric or falling into abyss of confusion. With clarity I can appropriately choose what I need to do & when further blessed, to do it appropriately.

Clarity is gained through many ways, as many as the heart in life. I myself like to think I clarify myself about myself based on how 4 nature elements (water, air, soil & fire) purify themselves.

There are few ways to gain clarity/purity in each but I’d like to talk about one for each.

Water naturally flows to clean itself; flowing to filter what’s in through its movement against all odds (stones, holes, debris, etc). By filtering for clarity it means I need to pass by at the same time to let go a lot of things in life to be clear (& clean). Like river, I receive materials from various sources that possibly contain unnecessary or unfavourable matters & I need to choose which to stay & which to get rid of. Flowing is leaving some behind & taking necessary some ahead. I’ve let go a lot of memories & people.

Air circulates what’s in. By circulating for clarity it means I should not stop sharing. The more I share (material, knowledge, vibes, etc), the more I find clarity in life. Like air, this person needs to vent, too. I tell stories, write, rant, talk, argue, discuss to verify information accuracy.

Soil decomposes what’s in. It breaks things into minuscule or even atomic pieces & blend all in one environment. Like soil, I don’t mind dealing with rotten and/or damaged things (ideas, gossips, accusation, prejudice, etc). Sometimes I swallow the worst leftover. Rubbish can turn to gold! Is it possible artist here? (Not the artist in Bahasa Indonesia’s artis, it is the seniman)

Fire heats to purify itself. Like blue fire I sometimes feel of having the most life energy (oxygen) & the motivation (high temperature). I clarify by motivating myself & others. I often don’t need external voice to motivate myself. I can be rather stubborn against change: sometimes only my will can change my ways. Learning from own mistakes is good: getting burnt 😁

Clarification leaves waste (emotions) so I need to deal with it by treating them well.

Note:

I’m more water than fire. I’m more soil than than air. I’m more air than fire. I’m more water than soil. 😊
This idea is original but murky; might not work for you. Find your own way to be clear about yourself.

Garden In My Heart

I've grown flowers and big trees
In my heart.
There's a pond with small fish playful and harmless;
Water lilies and lotuses dancing and entertaining.
You send breeze, she sings happily.
You send rain, she drinks sufficiently.
You send storm, she cries sadly.
You send snow, she freezes deadly.
Whatever you send, she feels blessed abundantly, so much loved.

This morning she said to me that
If you send yourself, she'll live forever.

pond near the dining room in D’Omah Jogja — breakfast feels slow with the waiters’ giving us more time to choose the ala carte menu, and meaningful with the long waiting time that diners can have more time to calmly chat in the morning

Hopping Frog