poet – rike jokanan

Hidden Gem

Hidden gem, my love
Glows in this heart telling tales
About hidden love
That might never find her nest.
The voiceless gets more silent.

Today my friend brought me around Jogja. The most interesting part was of course Pasar Beringharjo (Beringharjo Market) in which whatever souvenirs from Jogja are completely displayed. The most I love about this market is “ibu-ibu gendhong”, the women who sell their service to carry the people’s (both traders and shoppers) stuff from one point to another. My friend works in the NGO that advocate them to get better access to better rights as informal workers. The women (we call them buruh gendhong: female porters) know my friend very well so I always get the chance to say hi to them every time I visit some markets in Jogja & be given directions which best traders I can go to get the best products.

Today they showed me a hidden gem, a small corner where old-aged batik sheets and tradion Javanese kebaya are traded. What a blessed day today was!

How should I have felt except thankful? It was a good bargain– just with less than SGD50 I got a package of pretty apparels that I will wear to attend Christmas party in my cousin’s home.

kebaya, old batik sheet & an obi belt of Sido Asih batik

Thank you!

My cold heart got warm with the shopping spree and meeting the female porters who are the true representative of humble life itself.

God bless you, Ibu-Ibu & Mbah-Mbah Buruh Gendong. 💕

Arranged

Learning, love, Poetic

Beautiful, my love
The arranged colours and scents--
The heart shines brightly.

pretty like me 😁

Trust

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Can I still trust
You?
My palace is shaken,
It turns to a joke
Laughed by those observing my steps with smirks.

Whom should I trust?
Your signs? Or their messages--

with just one picture of silhouette of two bald men having meal behind the window, a feeling can strongly be shaken

what a day today is!

is it that difficult to find one normal person to love?

all in all why was it shown to me just to shake my palace of trust? again….

Eyes to Eyes

Learning, Poetic, This Person

Eyes to eyes, my Love
Where realm of now and here be
Punishing the past.

When I talk with someone, I’ll look into one’s eyes. It’s a sign that I respect my interlocutor, embracing one’s presence mindfully here and now. In return I really hope that the person does the same to me.

Yet who am I to want someone to do it wholeheartedly.

Let days be days. Lessons flow like rivers within me, the heaven that I’ve built to reach the real heaven ahead.

Wish you all a blessed weekend.

💙

Life Is Poetry

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Life is poetry
Singing songs to a quiet heart
To be pretty noise.

me trying on the “Booty on mega mendung” batik

Faithful

Learning, love, Poetic

Show me, Beloved
That it's real and right and true.
Says a shy lover.

The Quran is always a good advisor to me. It never lets me down.

When I’m so doubtful of self worth, it always sends me encouragement to be always faithful to what’s shown to me, without others’ validation or justification. Trust me an ordinary human being in whatever age period will still question herself when a strong blow of question “who do you think you are? know your worth” comes to her especially from those who are supposed to at least “shut the mouth”. 😁❣️

What a day!

This verse that randomly opened just now is QS Assajdah #24. For those reading this as outside world this verse is about leaders in a group; yet to me as the Quran can always be about what’s within, this is about leader within me which is the Heart.

The heart will only lives and be alive only when the whole body agrees to be patient and trust what’s shown through the existing senses. Be patient, dear self. Trust the process and the symbols and signs shown to you.

I will just walk to where love and compassion is leading me. Be it real. Be it true. Be it right.

Amen.

💙

Enlightened (ranting)

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Pages of a book
Dog-eared, yellowed
And wrinkle
Of fingers stroking--

I’m not a religious person yet I love checking holy books, books about local faith around the world and writings about philosophy. To me wisdom scatters everywhere; it might not be the best sources of wisdom but reading them has opened my horizon of thinking and I’ve become an open-minded and free thinker to some extent.

There is one more thing about checking those books is getting personal advice that I can’t get from even the closest people around me– not because I don’t trust their love to me but I don’t trust their level of bias in analysing my situation. They are not open enough to accept me who is very open in thinking yet very morally guarding to my own self (two paradoxes my closest people still can’t understand up to now). That’s why I “consult” the Quran, the holy book aside from Bible that I’ve been familiar with since I was young (my father was a Christian).

Today I felt the need of consulting the Quran; I prayed, recited Alfatihah the opening suuraah of the Quran, greeted those I respect in life, took a short silence and randomly opened the book.

Here is the answer from the Quran.

QS Annuur #38

That Allah may reward them [according to] the best of what they did and increase them from His bounty. And Allah gives provision to whom He wills without account.

My heart stopped doubting. Is it because of the Quran? Is it because of to whom I prayed? Is it because of my trust? Maybe one of them. Maybe all of them. And I don’t want other possibilities because I won’t let myself doubt what’s been confirmed.

Thank you, dear Quran for being my closest friend, a book that opens all the doors of light. I might not be religious but you’re always the #1 consultant I’ve turned to for the past 33 years and probably will be for the rest of my life.

Light, light, my heart becomes so light.

Thank you❣️

Mandarin Duck

Learning

Mandarin ducks perch
On a rocky river bank
Enjoying the sun.

a painting of a raft of Mandarin ducks would be a beautiful spot in a house

their colours are fascinating

Mandarin Duck

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Mandarin duck swims
Through calm water to the edge
Welcoming the breeze.

my small work of art to be, “the lone swimmer, love bird of the east”

Light

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Life is just like that. Like what?
Like whatever she perceives--
Be she fun,
Or gloomy--
Be she colourful,
Or dull--
Be she letting go,
Or attaching--
Be she alone,
Or together--

Life is just like
Her in whatever version
She wants her to be.

my life shall be as light as my heart can be

I’ll always unload things unnecessary to clutch on as those things will only make my steps drudge while I’d be glad prancing

only with love….

….and love only

whatever they say….

….how much ever they think

I’m light, moving light, to the light

☘️

Some People Asked

Learning, Poetic, Those People

Some people asked
Why I liked writing poems.
My answer was simple

Because that was the only way
I could tell my truth.

Then they told me to
Use  naked words to tell the truth
To them then I did.

Those people asked again
Why I used naked words to tell the truth.
My answer was simple

Because you asked me to
Then they excluded me.

I'm writing poems now
And forever.

and with the poems I spray fragrance with which I decorate my truth so those particular people will get lost in their own mind that is so confusing like a maze

missing home…. sometimes human beings don’t need to rest from work, they just need to rest from drama

Evening

Learning, love, Poetic

Evening, Love, is
Carnation in a glass vase.
Flickering candle--

Happiness

Learning, life, love, Poetic

There's a space
That will always be spacious
How much ever it is loaded.
It's heart,
In which I keep
You as you are.

Eyes to Mind

Learning, life, Map It!

What she needs, my love
A jar of coloured petals
That smile to her mind--

heliconia is always a nice welcome

or an orchid that’s bright

never a bottle of wine

just a cool towel and a cup of lemongrass tea next to a carnation

Sunset That Burns

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

It burns what has been packed
And ready to depart
From where a line between boundaries are drawn.

It burns with love.

It burns with life.

It burns forever,
An eternal flame.

it’s the 40th day of my mother’s passing today and we commemorate it through a Javanese traditional ceremony, assimilated with some Islamic tradition

one of the menu in the ceremony basket is “kacang cenggereng” (fried peanuts) which is not only a snack but also a symbol

it’s a symbol of respect to the one passing and hope that the passing is safely welcomed in the next life

yellow is a very suitable colour for my mother’s crossing day as it symbolises happiness

may she be happy to meet her Beloved

terima kasih, Ibu, please send my warm regard to my father

💛

yellow, Ibu 😁💛

Happy Birthday, Ibu

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

Sweet heart, Beloved
Lingers so long, stays alive,
Connects what across.

My mother is supposed to be 81 years old if she’s alive physically. I’m sure she’s happy across, seeing I’m happy. I know she knows I miss her everyday– there is still empty seconds in the morning when I wake up seeing no WhatsApp message from her.

I’ll keep all about you in me forever, Ibu. Love ya much much❣️

Send my best regard to my father who probably is sitting with you all the time talking about you offspring.

Terima kasih, Ibu.

the last screenshot of our video call on Aug 16, 2025

even with just half of her teeth, she still is beautiful

💕

Marble Cake

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Marble cake, my Love
Calls me to sweeten my days
With sugar and scent.

marble cake is one favourite of mine; it’s sweet that never fails to make me smile anytime I bite from every slice of it

me is about meaning and my marble cake is not excluded

like marble, it’s layered of taste, chocolate, vanilla, butter, crisp, moist & fluf exactly like memories of my life that is always full of love

once my readers asked me love will bore you and stop you from singing; I said no as my love isn’t about what’s outside, it’s about what’s skin, flesh, bones and marrow, it’s about muscle and about memories– the whole concept and its compliance altogether that will never fade away through known dimension

and love isn’t about someone else other than me, it’s about how layers of truth are formed with all the falling in love and broken heart in life, even the thinnest love & the slightest broken heart

have you ever seen an orchid shows its bud? that’s a thinnest falling in love

have you ever waited a taxi then suddenly the driver cancelled the order? that’s a slghtest broken heart

I’ve been falling in love to someone that’s so special: that’s a thickest love and losing someone that I’ve loved the most: that’s the biggest broken heart

and those in the middle, a lot

yes, my life is like marble and also marble cake, layered with tastes

and I never want to trade it with anything else

☘️

Love Daily

Learning, life, love, Poetic

Love daily, my love
Chosen, cleaned, soaked, cooked and packed
To serve forever--

chicken biryani for lunch is like falling in love after broken hearted

💙☺️❣️

sprinkled friend onion on the layer rice & chicken

💕

boiling rice

marinating chicken in herbs + yogurt

another key to a nice biryani

fying onion

the herbs to boil the rice

basmati rice after 30′ soaked in water

Humming Heart (ranting)

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

She's a hummingbird
Flying her colours and voice.
Garden of Eden--

If people ask what one thing I’d do at home when I’m doing other relaxing things?

The answer: humming❣️

Humming is the power of someone who loves singing but not memorise the lyrics. It’s what makes the amateur singer feel so proud of herself of singing beautifully without words, voice and tones are right, words are hidden. 😁

Today my household chores are not as many as before yet still I want to be home longer; I have a book to read then share my reading to my family and friends. I also have a sheet of white fabric to experiment shibori stitching.

Saturday is never boring with humming.

my mom used to ask “what are you cooking for this Saturday?” then “that’s delicious! wanna try! cook it for us when you’re home” then I would call her sharing laughter & jokes

no I’m not sad but I miss her love, compassion, stories, jokes, intimacy between mother and daughter

I’m so blessed with her being my mother; and still so blessed to have siblings and in-laws that understand intimacy is the glue of our family

thank you❣️

time to let my physical, heart & soul hum softly as part of my gratitude for the love around me 💕

Not Sung

Learning, life, love, Poetic

Our language is language of the heart.
When it's not heard, it means
The thread is cut,
The line is off,
The connection is cut,
The songs are not sung
Anymore.
Thank you for this one year.

today’s conversation in the pantry is about rejection: without telling to whom & by whom, just possibility told tales by diners that met for just 30 minutes:

personal business project that’s not approved

library planned visit that’s postponed

afternoon tea invitation in Shangrilla that’s rejected

love that’s unrequited

story that’s not continued

all are one U-turn forced by life to meet the right direction

💕

The Load

Learning

The load, Beloved
So much she can give to you--
Whatever she keeps

RC Gorman’s work of art

the woman is guarding what she keeps in the terracotta jar silently sitting next to her like a soul that she lives with, that she fills with richness of life full of love & hope, that someday she will share with that patient enough to sit down with her silently & fun enough to enjoy life as it is

life is beautiful

☘️💕

Terima Kasih

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

Kata orang aku sedih,
Bukan sedih.
Aku hanya rindu
Padamu
Ibu,
Yang padamu rasa terima kasihku tak lekang oleh waktu,
Yang padamu rasa cintaku tak pernah layu oleh masa,
Yang padamu rasa rinduku tak pernah kering oleh panas,
Yang padamu rasa ikhlasku makin padat sebelum menjadi ledakan saat kita bersatu.

Terima kasih, Ibu.

what I can remember about you, Ibu 🥰❣️

maybe this is what you’re doing now, Ibu 😁❣️

Balance Is

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

What is balance?
When I can walk on a line nicely with little slipping,
When I can wipe my tears soon then smile again,
When I know that there is one that keeps me still within although I look so rocked and shaken without,
When I can still express my feelings between what's called good and bad, right or wrong, while actually all is good and all is right--

Balance is
Knowing that I can wish whatever I want
Knowing that the net is always
You.

balancing in any situation is what life is about

☘️

Red Bird

Learning, love, Poetic, Those People

Red bird, Beloved
Flies home bringing her redness
Welcoming the light.

it takes some time to accept that the woman called mother has left me physically

it’s ok, it’s just taking time to accept that there’s a hole called “missing you, ibu” anytime unexpectedly

thank you, ibu

♥️

Love Isn’t Faraway

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

I feel so languid,
Between losing and letting go.
Memories are swarming,
Reminding that life is short
And farewell is just an inch away.
What's grey has turned to lively colours that stay.
What's dark has rekindled what's dead and now alive.
Love is never faraway,
It is for a while hiding
To show up when hope is fading away.
There's nothing I hear
But heartbeats singing love song
From afar, moving closer and closer.
Love is never faraway,
It's just hiding to find a way
To disclose what's true in
Expression and will always stay.

my last wefie with her, physically faraway but her love always stays

Riding The Wind

Learning, love, Poetic

Riding the wind, Love
Across the route Love chooses
On behalf of love--

wind is pushing her pedaling a journey to the heart of life

Head Bowed to Love

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

I'm bowing this head
Like sunflower to the sun
That sets then slips down.

It’s not easy to lose. It’s not easy to lose my mother. It’s not easy to lose my mother who has been so gently loving all of us. It’s not easy to lose my mother who has been so gently loving all of us with the ups and downs in our relationships. It’s not easy to lose her indeed.

This is the day on which I have to totally live normal without her presence. Today is the last day when most of our family members gather in her home. One by one we are going back to reality bringing a gaping hole in our heart called “mother, how are you today”.

No WhatsApp. No call. No monthly bank transfer. No laugher of silly things. No sad cry. No gossip about my late father. No “what’s for lunch”. No “have you taken your pills?”. No this. No that. Small things that built a castle called love have stopped coming; one by one the memories that we’ve saved fade away.

I just hope that this castle can be a temple where I worship love, not other types of building. 💕

Forgotten

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person

Love can live in a song,
But what can love do when a song is
Forgotten?
None but an old book,
Dusty and unread--

Life is just like that.

it’s ok to be forgotten as life is just like that

love never lives in a vacuum chamber; it grows with bias of lovers who mightn’t have known deeper layers of love that can only be clearly understood with the understanding of one’s self, never with anything else

silently I’ve paid attention to someone and how one acts in public

the last song has been forgotten so it’s time for me to truly withdraw – no I don’t want to get hurt by someone that I hope not hurting me (but doing it on and on maybe without one’s knowledge of hurting me)

it’s my last day of bereavement leave of my dear mother’s passing and I want to spend it with full relaxation, watching whatever within my reach for the next one hour, then read books on and off the whole day inserted with writing what’s popped out in mind & talking to families members who are still staying until end of this week in my mother’s home

I just want to rest….

Do You Know?

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Do you know, my love
Love has no definition
But that undefined--

this love is as old as the earth before she was born….

this love is as vast as the universe and non universe of which she was yet not born….

this love is as deep as the riverbed that has no end of the abyss that greets….

this love is as true as the love itself that has no definition as truth is layered and its finale is love itself

I just want to be loved by love that I love in which love loves love itself.

❣️

A Muse Who Herds Dragons

Learning

Beloved,
I don't have clear words
To decribe myself
Yet words insist to come out,
Sliding down from a lane connecting heaven and earth--

Dragon
A mythical being
Depicted in a lot of traditions all over the globe
That soars, roams, fights with a muse who lives in a realm
Called a self.

A self who is one of nine
Whichever one inspiring any her
To rule her own world
With love and compassion,
Nothing more
Nothing less.

She bears the emblem of dragons,
Plays fun with them,
Talks and plans,
Dreams and fantasizes,
Works the hardship,
Keeps secret & evaporate it,
Learns and teaches,
Fights and flies,
Stays and calms,
Grows old and stays young--
All with dragons.

Perhaps no one knows
But she knows
That the dragons might not be
someone else,
Just a being she thinks something else,
Yet in fact none in her life
Is separated--

Dear, Dragons
Be
Beloved or
Lover for her
Whichever is tasked to
You.