graphs of my Universe
Pick ones, Beloved
That this heart has been singing,
Soul is caressing.
Give gifts to those genuine:
Not those clean— those to self true.
——
i won’t make others pick for me even my fave bookstore 🙂
card decks for my friend in Ubud
some friends are religious and reading, so books are gift for them
got one for my birthday 👀🥹
Hidden gems
Shan’t be found
By those admiring surface.
Let it be kept undercover,
Shining within
The hearts of
The true lovers.
——
Dewi Larasati (named Rarasati in her childhood) is one of female characters in Javanese wayang whose personality is described as pleasant, patient, understanding and of good self control. She is unpopularly one of female wayang characters with military skill. She is good at handling keris and archery. She is allegedly as skillful as her husband, Arjuna.
Note: Dewi can mean goddess in Javanese. It can also simply mean or indicate that the person given that Javanese name is a female. Dewa is for male.
Dewi Larasati in black and white
Dewi Larasati is a humble woman and is so humble that she doesn’t want to announce her military skill until one day she is called by his husband to show her archery skill in from of Srikandi (his other wife). On that day everyone starts to know that Dewi Larasati’s archery expertise is outstanding, much better than Srikandi who is allegedly the best female archer in Javanese wayang and the bravest female heroine of all.
Dewi Larasati is then declared the one having as good skill as Arjuna’s, the best archer in Javanese wayang. Yet she never boasts of being as good as her husband in archery. She chooses to be the queen of the knight of war and mindfulness Arjuna, the beloved mother of her two sons, Bambang Sumitra and Branatalaras, the aunt of Pandawa’s offsprings.
Dewi Larasati facing left direction
While people like to talk about Dewi Larasati from that angle, I like talking about her from different one. To me I prefer to play dictions so disecting the word “Rarasati” and “Larasati” is another option.
Rarasati is a combination of 2 Javanese words: raras and ati.
Raras means feel, feeling, thought, thinking
Ati means heart
So rarasati can mean the feel of a heart or the thought of a heart or a feeling heart or a thinking heart
Larasati is a combination of 2 Javanese words: laras and ati.
Laras means song, singing, chat, chanting, reciting, recitation,
Ati means heart
So larasati can mean the song of a heart or a singing heart.
Dewi Larasati facing right direction
I always think Dewi Larasati’s parents’s naming her “larasati” because of their dream to have children who are willing to use the heart to feel and think the reality and to listen to their own self to balance the power of the loudness of material world.
With my simple utterance about the word “rarasati” and “larasati” I can imagine Dewi Larasati is a hidden gem that needs no disclosure as undercover she is already glowing. With her excellence she accepts to be less well-known than Srikandi, the archery heroine. With humbleness she accepts to be less popular than Sembadra, Arjuna’s second wife, while Dewi Larasati is the first wife of that bloody handsome knight Arjuna. Please note although I admire Arjuna’s high quality of meditation and nationalism, I curse his being a womaniser.
Anyway this is not about Arjuna, it is about Dewi Larasati, a humble intelligent woman whose identity is underrated because of her unpopularity like a hidden gem that is kept low key by those loving and protecting her.
Ahh! Is the above discussion culturally relevant? Or is it just this person who idolises those unpopular gems in life?
It doesn’t matter. This is just a different point of view about an old fact.
💕
Salaam.
Dewi Larasati on a batik scarft designed by Dudung Aliesyahbana, batik maestro from Pekalongan, Central Java
Luxury, my love
Makes your stars blink but not glow.
Show your true colours.
——
“The Devil Wears Prada” is one of 97 purchased movie in my cloud because I would watch those movies again and again and again either because of loving them or not quite understanding them with one play. This movie was based on a novel with the same title.
Watching “The Devil Wears Prada” for more than 4 times doesn’t bore me, not because I like fashion (I like clothes but not that fashion fashion) but because I like the story — Andrea ‘Andy’ Sachs (main character, protagonist) the humble smart who was derailed from her nature as shaped through her work performance demanded by her boss Miranda Priestly finally found her “way home”.
This movie was released in 2006. I watched it in the same year for the first time then bought it from Apple Store in 2017 the until now rewatch it when I want.
This is a movie that has made me stopped buying bags and watches that were not really needed. Pile of bags didn’t make me happier; luckily I don’t have to look fashionable at work so leaving the impressive bags at home never makes me and my work go less. Queue of watches are not necessary anymore with my beloved Apple Watch.
Another thing that this movie has taught me is to be true to myself even if others are not. It is not easy as there are human beings living around me who have been nurtured in environments where competition is sharp or where winning is the only choice to live or where listening is not to understand but to answer, where genuineness is not paramount — yet it is not that challenging to be true for me as most of those around me also try their best to behave ethically.
In the movie Andy was at the brink of identity crisis when she realised than being successful is not only about sitting on a pedestal that is looked up by many or about ruling a territory; being successful can be sitting among the tribe and working hand in hand on the ground to achieve team’s goal or getting recognition as ethical although not popular or learning to be honest to self everyday with failure and achievements. In other words it is not only a gain outside like promotion, bonus, recognition and the like; but it is also an internal cultivation of getting more mature, clarified, self acceptance, relationship and the like.
Thank you, “The Devil Wears Prada”. Because of you I dug further what brands are truly sustainable based on environment and labor protection and what are putting sustainability as mannequin in display.
A lot more in this movie tells me to realise that “brands and luxurious life don’t define who I truly am”.
So am I still buying those with (prominent) brands (that I can conveniently afford to but)? Yes, but only those truly walking what they are talking and they are mostly not the highest end. Very very few and very very occasional. Unfortunate for them yet fortunate for me—
Some other time I probably want to write about a few.
Salaam.
💕
watched it again just now
Do you know,
Beloved…?
In the middle of a water
Tossing wildly a Land
Stretching like a tail,
Tinted with merry tiny blossoms
Willing to smile
In May summed up are they.
Bearing light fragrance
Infusing air elegantly
For you, only for you—
Do you also know,
Beloved…?
I lullaby some seeds
That wake up lazily,
Stretch to the sky
Then sprinkle perfumes
With thousands of flowers
In the 9th month
Being warm and fuzzy
In the other half
For you, only for you—
For you
Whether to take
Or to give up.
There is no heaviness in a no.
There is no lightness in a yes.
There is pain in silence.
Yet life is so rich,
There is always cure
For any wound.
Let poems sing heart songs
For you, only for you.
——
How do you call you
Loving expecting no pay?
Only the mother—
——
today i called her after she said that she could not sleep remembering Vito, the grandson who just passed away
this lady is impressively patient and loving her grandchildren; losing him has never been easy
she tried to hide her cry from me but her voice could not lie
if i can tell anyone about someone to never forget, it must be about mother
love her, don’t disappoint her ever again as there might have been a lot of troubles from us when we were younger
i love you, Ibu
Kau tak akan mengerti bagaimana kesepianku
menghadapi kemerdekaan tanpa cinta
Kau tak akan mengerti segala lukaku
kerna cinta telah sembunyikan pisaunya.
Membayangkan wajahmu adalah siksa.
Kesepian adalah ketakutan dalam kelumpuhan.
Engkau telah menjadi racun bagi darahku.
Apabila aku dalam kangen dan sepi
Itulah berarti
aku tungku tanpa api.
——
it is good to feel loving you, it is less good to feel missing you
Sprinkles of petalS
Sway from the sky gracefully
Calling name of yours.
——
genji pie that shapes like heart or rose petal or whatever beautifully seen by eyes
genji pie, aside from the shape the taste is also good to me
genji pie has inspired me to love
About genji pie
Multiplied and blessed
Is numbers nature has sent
To a heart that smiles.
——
flying back from Narita
flying out from Changi
i believe that whatever shared is multiplied — at least those who enjoy it are multiplied
keep multiplying and blessing!
♥️
This life’s pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.
——
a mosque in Tokyo — Tokyo Jamii (Camii)
entrance — assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii
mosque area – 2nd floor
i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it
the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines
a feeling of home 💕
then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking — she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me 😁 thank you 💕
time to fly home — thank you, Tokyo 💕
you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars
A bee is bathing
In magnolia stamens.
Not flying but high
——
from instagram
They have said
I am lost.
What I see…
I am in a forest away
From comfort of thought.
I am not in a castle
In which mind is blunted.
My heart finds home
In which 25 prophets
And 1000 saints
Have found the paths.
It is a way
That all Prophets and Saints bless.
I am home
With the flow
That brings petals
To where fragrance blends
With clarity of fluids,
Various fluids
Gliding to a vast ocean
Of love.
——
i don’t care anymore what i am called by them — Muslim? Alhamdulillah, Sufi? Subhanallah, Buddhist? Masya Allah
what i am sure of is that my sutra is sutra of love with which all prophets and saints have travelled, whatever religions they have been associated with
thank you
💕
Rain has no regret.
It’s sharp needles jabbed to earth—
Wildly seeped for life.
——
even wrong decision tasted nice! trust me the chili didn’t even have heat in it 😊 no regret at all
Waves of clouds, my love
Swim from morning to night shore
Telling me to dance
Sprinkling bright petals of life
To hearts who lost hope to move.
——
some food help wipe clouds from the mind
There are two gateways
To enter one gallery
Full of works of art.
——
my left side of face is sadder, bitter and negative with which i’ve been made more and more accepting to unwelcoming sides of life 💕
my right is happier, sweeter and optimistic that has persuaded me to be more and more letting go of what is not working after some good deed 💕
whatever unpleasant and pleasant things others say about me, i feel complete with some gap that might not need to be bridged simply to show that imperfection is a perfect gift in life 💕
Note: the picture at the bottom is batik scarf designed by Dudung Aliesyahbana, a batik maestro from Pekalongan, Central Java
I love you
And I respect you
Fragrantly.
I’ve missed you
More and more
Since I didn’t open windows
Anymore.
This heart though is open
Like pores of petals
Evaporating fragrance
In a warm September.
Be happy, Beloved
As you deserve to.
Whereas this scent
Will keep leaping stone to stone.
Your face pops out
In this head every second
Like brilliant dew drops
In a shy May.
I respect you
And I love you
Sweetly.
——
enough sweet and fragrant for snacking for 5 days in Tokyo
Old dreams are dangling
Ready to sprout but doubtful
Seeing grasshoppers.
——
three dangling charms with a daruma flying north tonight
Regulated noise
Tidies up moods and work pace.
Music is curing.
——
no worry, beloved — what’s messy can be tidied up with the right tempo and pitch in music 💕
loving this sweetheart! 💕
Hatred, Beloved
Never a choice; it is love—
Once got hurt then lost.
(haiku at lunch break)
——
osho, the king in shogi (Japanese chess)
About shogi the Japanese chess
Eyes remember to
Blink to the moon downloading
Forgotten stories.
——
Japanese kanji for eyes
Dark sky reveals stars
That gleam sending signs of life
That glows silently.
——
rawon aka dark soup that has become the most delivious soup on earth
i left it in the fridge to fly back to Indonesia on Jul 30 and today arriving home my first after unpacking was heating it up for my lunch and dinner 💕
amazingly yummy!
A pair of strong wings
Bring me to a land of thoughts
Where hope shines the light.
——
landed home after burying hope to grow with flowers and spreading love with billowing incense smoke
You’re lovely
Like the songs in my heart.
Unluckily
You belong to another heart.
Verily
You’d thrown me to a new start.
Luckily
You didn’t break my hope apart.
Hopefully
My life again to bloom.
Undoubtedly
You feel ease in the room.
Life is rich and enriches,
Full of sad and happy surprises.
——
one of my good friends is a handicrafter; this bag was just completed 2 days ago and delivered yesterday
my mother said “lovely”
“do you want it?”, said i
“is that ok if i take it?” she said
“why not, Ina can make a new one for me” said i.
i am happy to make my mother happy with a happy (unintentional) surprise 💕
Mosquito’s buzzing,
Scarier than it’s biting
Ears though can’t complain.
——
when i said to my friends that i wanted this, they chorused high toned answer “no, it is not Japan, with this type of water garden, you’ll be mosquitos’ daily party here!” 😁
The light that is in,
The angle that frames, both play
To find the best view.
——
About Tugu Yogyakarta
photo taken while my friend was driving fast to avoid some motorbikes; i’ve missed the opportunity of taking its picture many times, this time no although not from a nice point of view
This heart is leaking.
Droplets of love are dripping,
Fertilising life.
——
About wedang uwuh
wedang uwuh, a favourite beverage in breezy night of Jogja
inside wedang uwuh
The spell of friendship
Is not F R I E N D S H I P.
To spell friendship
Is to put some magical words
To a bond
So it lasts forever
In love.
My friends put a spell on me.
I put a spell on them.
We put a spell on each other
To stay together
Gleaming like stars
In a cluster
Or in different ones blinking to each other.
How beautiful friendship is
When bonded with genuine drops
Of souls
And
Adorned with true colours
Of hearts.
How real friendship is
When soul and heart
Are sprinkled on to
A life that hopes
And loves.
——
this book of friendship — no where to find in souvenir shop but found in the heart of friends
fun and true and real and genuine 💕 friendship with my beloved nephews
A rope might help
To travel to the other side,
Yet it might be not.
Being in the other side
Is not always wise
As a wise is
That that means
Decision for the right.
Right time
Right place
Right person
That might be
Not right:
Not always right amount
Not always right distance
Not always right calculation.
This rope is right
Only when it is about
Knowing that pulling or releasing
Are both hurting
Right where and when it is decided to.
this?
this one is wiser for now 💕
might not be the right one, yet being relaxed and easy is sometimes the right one for now — i just don’t want to think too much; wisdom is not always hard 💕
Have a seat, dear friends.
Breathe this home before our chat.
Leave the heat outside.
Pages of shapes and colours,
Tell them to bring their best selves.
——
Coffee table books are good to make guests relaxed before longer chat with me and at the same time to lay foundation of the chat. Not all guests visit me to chill out; some do to ask for help that might make it difficult for them to start a convo, so some flash reading can help them break the ice and sometimes for the host to loop back to the ice breakers when strategising to refuse unreasonable requests. 😉
Just fyi, some people don’t easily give up “selling misery to get a buy-in”, so be softly tough; one exquisite coffee table book might not even work.
About coffee table books
coffee table books taking turn monthly to welcome my friends
this book contains reproduced masterpieces of world’s well-known painters; the characters in the original paintings are all replaced by cats
all reproductions are by Susan Herbert
thank you, Ma’am for your art! 🙏🏼
here is very few from a total of 140 illustrations
The Beguiling of Merlin — Edward Burne-Jones, 1872-7
A Couple — Pierre Auguste-Renoir c. 1868
The Milkmaid — Johannes Vermeer c. 1660
The Child’s Bath — Mary Bassat, 1893
this is originally not a coffee table book but i will make it one — currently reading it 👏🏼
always suitable anytime so it will be forever on the table accompanied by the monthly one — only women have this power 😊
I won’t, Beloved
Take you from what completes you.
Your here now is that, not this.
This garden with lemongrass
Is my here and now I love.
——
Ibu sent me this picture that she took by herself after forever saying “I can’t take good pictures like you, don’t ask me any” — 3 slices of some cake I bought online (sold through Twitter) and delivered directly to her ♥️
she said “thank you for the ‘spikoek’, it is amazingly yummy”
my mother’s love is so huge that i don’t realise like seeing a sheet of paper from 1 millimeter away 💕
i am enough with a few humble friends that truly understand me so i won’t anymore beg friendship from that not even wanting to know who i am 😁
This heart blooms and blooms
Leaving quiet budding season,
Emerging from mud.
——
One of my friends complained why all my poems are about love, like I am either falling in love or broken hearted day by day.
After some time of chat and juice against wine glasses that friend answered one’s own question.
“Ya! Life is about loving: smoothly or broken-heartedly. Now I know what you mean. I thought all were about romance! Ahhh!”
I tried a sip of wine from that friend’s glass.
“You’ll get drunk more at home and write more love poems!” Said that friend laughing.
“Yes, I won’t give up this love whatever interpretation is thrown about me to me. I am thankful enough to have very few true friends who understand.”
Salaam.
true love is too tasteless for those weighing it with money; yet too complex for those weighing it with faith — for those not knowing the true secrets behind words, love is just a marriage between distrust and fear hidden in sparkling plastic 🙃 i know love is still beautiful whether it is well understood or misunderstood 💕
rike jokanan 
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