Tag: you

Cracked (ranting)

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

Don’t crack under pressure. Maybe only “that watch” can do that; while most including human beings definitely crack under certain pressure like ceramics that can even break simply because of some delicate qualities that should crack to let some component of life lessons enter the inner realm of the pressurised persona.

I don’t mind cracking under certain pressure as long as life lessons can smoothly diffuse themselves into the liquid vortex within. Then as gold in kintsugi, they mend what’s cracked leaving golden map showing myself where to find a way of acceptance & letting go.

If I don’t crack, I will always look perfect with no guilt splashed, no criticism slashing, no confrontation exercising, no discussion & argument heated then calming, no accountability assessed. Looking perfect as a being accumulate some layers of avoidance to make mistakes, emotional exhaustion, failure of focused self reflection, forced compatibility even within self, self centernedness. Oh no! I prefer being an imperfect persona in front of many rather than being a looking perfect with so much burden within.

Being imperfect doesn’t mean I’m bad. It just shows me that I’m a human being and it’s fine to look ugly sometimes. As a human being I want to be vulnerable so I can be as playful as possible genuinely; so I can speak my truth with ease in a sweet way; so I can love other human being with no shame; so I can be as imperfect as nature wishes me to be outside my work (hallooow at work I need to be perfectly doing what I’m assigned for sure)!

If only I can directly tell some of human beings I know how perfect you’ve been looking and you need to stop being perfect, I’ll tell you wholeheartedly while assuring that you are free to be you the condition that you agree to heal together with no pretense and that you agree to be true to life.

Dear humans, you’re a ceramics not that watch that won’t crack under pressure. You deserve to be kintsugi decorated with golden map showing love where to flow.

Yes, I love to get answered as an answer is like lacquer reassembling cracked ceramics and yes I give myself answer because I deserve vulnerability, my own vulnerability; truth, my own truth; honesty, my own honesty– with love and respect.

Yes and I’ll let my heart crack again with better understanding and acceptance why it should crack then let life apply kintsugi on me.

Life is just like that…. πŸ’™β˜ΊοΈπŸŒ»

this is me, imperfect & vulnerable as I’m kintsugi

☺️

kintsugi in a nutshell

You

Learning, love, Poetic
I've read thousands of poems
In which all lines are started with
You.

I've recited hundreds of them
With which all rhymes are ended with
A you.

I've waited for a sonnet full of love
Through which my questions are answered by you. Yes,
You.

Heart Journey

Learning, life, Poetic, This Person
Your plodding footsteps
Call me to keep this journey
To where sunrise is.

Wherever I go as long as I’m following my honesty, I’m meeting with you.

I’ve tried denying that life is just a matter of birth to death & struggling between those two, but no life is not that indeed — pain is inevitable but suffering is optional so I prefer put always lightheartedness and useful meaning to steps of life.

One day which is today I plant my believe more deeply as I also believe that this tree of life is not only one growing for a while; this tree of life needs strong & stubborn roots to support itself to the end of universe life.

Thank you for this beautiful life, Beloved. Whatever I’ve gone through is beauty that leads me to the reality of life:

You

Head Piece

Learning, Poetic, This Person
Head piece, Beloved
What I've kept in head and heart.
Always about you--

Bulang Mandailing – a head piece for woman of Mandailing ethnic group

Suntiang Gadang – a head piece for woman of Minang ethnic group

Math

Learning, love
My Math is full of
You.
I will always listen to
You.

as long as you have your voice, I’ll always listen

no change to my ears, just my perspectives that are now in the dark

πŸ’™

You

Learning, love, Poetic

I speak with you
With no language.
When with you,
I know no time.
In you I find me.
In me I find you.
Then we separate
To miss each other,
To love
With no limit.

The Way I See You

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person
My perspective about you might change all the time.

It might be about in which angle I stand when looking at you, or
How far I distance my sight when observing you, or
How full circle I go around you to see all sides, or
How long I stay in one corner speechless enjoying the daisy, or
How critical I pull all the dots of you looking imperfect in these eyes until I find it's the lenses impaired that I can't see your beaut so see-through, or
Simply how I accept how you describe you....

I always want the last as I want you to tell me about you.
But you know, sometimes I don't trust you....

Let me trust you.

all is true in its own position – layers of truth apply to human beings’ journey; clarity is truly important to make the right decision, belief is important to stay in the chosen lane

To Pray Hilariously

Learning, This Person


to pray hilariously:

please keep these joints well lubricated & creak less,

allow me to afford bright-coloured lipsticks as most around me love smile more than gifts,

grant me clear thinking so I can converse reasonably with both the genius & the idiot,

lend me a bit of fresh kindness so I still look good although I'm not pretty,

let me be silly & have silly friends so I won't look silly alone,

make me wise & rich in silence as it will save some time & energy,

if I forget, please remind me
if you forget, no you won't forget for me.

yours truly,

a human being calling herself me

You

Learning, love, Poetic

This journey is a quiet seating with
You.
Whether you get stuck or flow or flood, I won't leave
You but
I leave it to
You
Wholeheartedly.

this is me surrendering to

You

take me in your love gently like a breeze in a warm day

You, Too? Or Just Me?

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person

I
Don't know you
But know you.

You fly with the cotton candy
Around me in the sky.
You dive with the schools of fish
Next to me in the water.
You grow with the root
Beside me in the earth.
You are everything around me.

You run with me when I walk.
You swim with me when I play in the water.
You soar with me when I fly.
You are with me everytime.

You breathe with me.
You throb with me.
You vibe with me.
You are everywhere with me.

Everyone might question me
"How dare you!"
Every one will do to me.

I
Know you
But don't know you.

Only time will tell
If your signs are true
Or false.

Only time will tell
When we shake our hands
And say hi.

Only time will tell
If I know you
Or know not.

maybe it is just me living in my dream, and you are the unreached reality

πŸ’•

You

Learning, love, Poetic

When I found you,
It was a spellbound day.
The feel of being bewitched,
Charmed, tormented and blessed at the time brought me a big question.
What is this?
A dream?
A mirage?
An illusion?
Another test?
There will be a day
To judge if
You materialise or
You fade away.

You

Learning, love, Poetic

Although everyday
I want to say to
You anything I want to say
But say not as I bet
You know how I feel,
You know what I wish,
You know whom I miss,
You know and
You know.

One day heaven knows which day
I will say to
You anything I want to say
Everyday although
You know how I feel,
You know what I wish,
You know whom I miss,
You know and
You know.

You

Learning, love, Poetic

That I miss
You is out of question.
Yet does it matter if
You have one closest place within me
Where I can whisper to
You about stories of my daily hope,
About  plans beyond my here now?
Only to
You--

I don't have to shout to the world about how much I wish to be with
You because
They don't need to know.

I don't have to show to the audience about how much I wish to hear from
You because
This softest prayer is one of the most clangorous wishes.

You

Learning, love, Poetic

They say loving intensely is a waste.
No.
Loving you intensely is simply
Throwing you a sweet smile,
Holding your hand,
Walking with you,
Sitting in silence next to you,
Staring the same scenery,
Breathing the same air,
Humming a tune that some day heaven knows which day
Only love does matter.

Do You Mind Me To?

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

If I'm to follow,
It's only to follow you.
Do you mind me to?

the sun, sunflower and a weekend

You

Learning, love, Poetic

I wish I know
You better
So there won't be useless tears falling to long for
You.

I wish to meet
You now
So there won't be useless words
Uttered in secret for
You.

I wish to be with
You, too
So there won't be useless thought dancing restlessly for
You.

But I won't force to be with
You soon
As the timing is predestined by and arranged for 
You.

counting my falling hair before finally meeting you

πŸ’•

Surrounded by You

Learning, love, Poetic

Want I

To be surrounded by
You
Where laughter is generous,
Thought is serious,
Confidence is contagious,
Maturity is glorious.

How merry
To have conversation hilarious!
Once in a while though days look rigorous,
That's when it is to my senses obvious, 
To my thought serious
That you're famous
Surrounded by
Thousands of those
Marvelous.

Sigh I.

surrounded by beauty

Leaving

Learning, Poetic
You were home
For a while,
A short while,
Until an ignored road calls
To leave,
To go back to
A road less travelled
Which a few are lured to walk.
It brings me to a place not known.
What's known is
Birds chirp along the way,
Hares run between bushes,
Woods give shades from scorching days,
Wild flowers nod to greet footsteps,
The narrow path brings this journey to a bright end--
Meeting
You.

pamit is a Javanese and Indonesian word that literally means “saying goodbye” although in Javanese the word pamit has a weight of a polite request to leave β™₯️

Garden of Roses

Learning, Poetic
My heart is a garden of roses
That bloom
When I feel
You.

My heart is a garden of thorns
That prick
When I think of
You.

—

wishing that a climbing rose grows and blooms happily in the kitchen door πŸ’• my guests will feel the beauty without having to think of the gardening

picture from Pinterest

Poetry

Learning, Poetic
My breathing is poetry.
It brings in inspiration,
Emits meaning.
My dreaming is poetry.
It attracts hopes,
Depicts reality.
My walking is poetry.
It steps on milestones,
Follows you.

β€”β€”

when time is coming, let my poetry be with me πŸ’•

Falling in Love

Learning, love, Poetic
If not because of 
Love,
This soul won’t soar,
This heart won’t throb,
This head won’t radiate,
These palms won’t trust sensations.

If because of
Love all are alive,
And so
I fall in
Love
Every single
Day

With
You.

The same
You
Over and over
Again.

β€”β€”

falling in love is everyday whole year like butternut squash πŸ’•

picture: RC Gorman’s work of art

Whereabout

Learning, Poetic
You
Are the beats in my heart.
Whereabout your heart
Am I in?

You
Are the water of a vase.
Whereabout your vase
Am I of?

You
Are the -ness at my nothing.
Whereabout your thing
Am I at?

There is silence,
And it answers me through.
I am nowhere about
You.

β€”

when the water is gone, all is dead β€” only dried leaves and air πŸ™πŸΌ

Describing You

Learning, Poetic
You’re a fact
Just untouchable.

You exist
Just indescribable.

You’re not illusion
Just intangible.

You’re one
Just distracting.

You’re near
Just invisible.

You’re far
Just haunting.

You’re minute
Just blocking.

You seem nothing
Just enshrouding.

You’re everything
Just spacing.

You’re not a puzzle
Just enigmatic.

You make me think about you
Just to fail right through.

You’re clear
Just misunderstood.

You
Just
You.

β€”

you’re my needle in a haystack

Blessed

Learning, love, Poetic

I love
You
Without throbbing heart

I love
You
Without nervous mind

I love
You
Without going date

I love
You
Without touching each other

I love
You
Without intense conversation

I love
You
With the breeze of mountains

I love
You
With the wave of oceans

I love
You
With the dew of mornings

I love
You
With the sound of music

I love
You
With the hue of flowers

I love
You
With the flow of dreams

I love
You
With all whose reason is unseen.

How rejoicing and exciting.


(The Lover’s love to the Beloved)
love is never wasted

Finding You

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person
Longing for
You
Is not
Because
Of
Love.
The opposite:
This love
Is
An expansion
Of
Longing for
You.

This room
Is
Full of
Longing for
You
And
Only love
Can define
You.

Failure
Of meeting you
Is
A pain,
Yet
Not
Suffering
These wings flap ahead
As
A view of
You
Zooming in and out
Giving a clue.

This love
Travels deeper
To a secret chamber
Where the gate
Finally finds the end.

Everything looks like you.
Everywhere locates you.
Every time shows you.

Hey, you!
Is it
You?

β€”-

a red torii to be, not shut down, a restart everyday

β›©