Author: rike jokanan

I said yes
But didn't go with you.
I said yes
But didn't do.
Hundreds of yes
But I still didn't do.

The eyes are blind.
The ears are deaf.
Both in the heart--

Nose, tongue and skin's scream
Were not heard.

I missed many chances to meet
You.
I skipped the opportunities.
And thousands of hours lead me to
Zero memories but broken promises.

Tell this self
To keep her promises
As time won't wait.

—

i skipped this part as i had to rush for morning pick up — i promise i won’t skip any blessing anymore ❣️

please forgive me

Tested Every Day

Failure seems ordinary
As I am tested every day
And pass
With or without flying colours.
I just need
A faith to cling that
I am not alone battling.
There is you.
There is
You.

—

very much welcome – tested by beauty; i could not stop wowing in silence 😍

i am fasting and getting tested with these sweets and freshness 😍 not difficult to pass this easy test though

Dark

I can see beauty
Through silhouette in the dark
With thin shed of light.

—

Bright

Light brings bright to rose.
Light brings image to her eyes.
Bright in and bright out--

—

The Fool

Stepping in
To the wood
Under the sun,
The moon,
The stars,
Swarmed by the wild;
Ahead she prances
Along a composition
Orchestrated by the air.

—

be a fool in the ocean of falsehood

realizing that being a fool is an enjoyable journey in life to earn meanings without burden

A Cup of Tea

Learning, Map It!, Poetic

When clock slows down its intensity,
Bring me a cup of tea
With which imagination
Grows wild silently
And another cup
With which the Twin Towers
Are swallowed by dark night.
This cup of tea
Has freed me.

—

one more won’t harm me ❣️

Sense! Sense Beyond. (ranting)

(regularly updated for accuracy)

The way we see beauty shows how we perceive life in general. There’s no rigid standard of beauty. Each person votes beauty based on the culture nurturing him/her. The culture formulate beauty through space and time and unsensed dimensions with which it evolves and grows through the history of humankind.

To a female best friend a beautiful man can only be postulated through a man named Nicholas Saputra. To another a beautiful man is Keanu Reeves–this one I agree 😎. To another Jeremy Renner. To me a beautiful man can be as acceptable as a humble man is kind-hearted, responsible and healthy.

To a male best friend a handsome woman can only be described through a slim lady with flawless porceline skin and red lips like those modified ones from Korea. To another one a handsome woman is a Sandra Bullock. To another one is Rihanna. To else she can be anyone who is willing to accept their men the way they are.

In China, Africa, Europe, Java, Pacific definitions of beauty can be poles apart. Big eyes, round eyes, almond shaped, slanted…. Full lips, thin, thick, wide, heart-shaped…. XS clothing size, S, M, L, XL, XXL, plus size…. Straight hair, wavy, curly…. Etc, etc, etc…. Those physical descriptions identifying human body are blessings to some, curse for others; depending on how the bearers perceive beauty.

Ladies, you are all beautiful the way you are when your heart blooms genuinely. That’s what I always tell my nieces. And to my nephews I always say you are handsome and becomes super handsome with kind heart. Physical beauty will only be an empty box wrapped in fancy paper, no gift inside, no meaning but a space of living. Well-taken-care-of plain beauty with kind heart is a box of surprising precious gift well wrapped in clean paper.

Which one should we want? Any! No right or wrong. Yet to me –an-almost-half-century-lady– kind heart in a plain beauty is so much appreciated!!! Nothing compares to good heart in humble beauty.

😊

To dear nieces and nephews:

I love you. Be the light to your own darkness with healthy body and good heart.

Your senses are not only to catch what’s physical. Sense beyond! Beauty truly lies in a hidden heart.

❣️

this might be the only Coldplay’s song that I can listen to the whole day non-stop except low-batt ♥️ a biutyful alien I am!

💕

Dear, You

Dear
Young heart,
Fly to the moon and back
To the green meadow, humming.

Dear
Old body,
Bury me where banyan seeds sprout
Reaching out to sky, breathing.

Dear
Ancient soul,
Free me from any shape
So I can be alive anywhere you sow me.

—

I went to a small civilized** farewell party for a friend in KL, Malaysia, taking selfie before crazily singing in Red Box karaoke.

Life is short, be kind….

Or….. Just take a selfie.

❣️

Salam.

** civilized to me means NO FREE SEX, NO DRUGS, NO ALCOHOL ♥️

just take selfie when you’re feeling good

take selfie when you’re not in the mood

take selfie although people think it’s weird yet you’re nartistically free and freely glee

Luck

Learning, Poetic, This Person, Those People

Anger, Beloved
Swirling stream drawning what flow,
Demolishing luck--

—

Anger can bring unluck, now I believe that.

I was furious because some people made unnecessary mistakes. Although mistake is mistake that can be fixed but covering up is another level of mistake making a mistake not just a mistake. I can never accept when people are not well treated, not well protected, ignored, disrespected.

anger is maelstrom

I still could not get rid of the patches of anger even after some hours. No sleep cured it. No food did. No nothing. I felt my body tremble whenever thinking of how those mistakes were made and so on and so forth.

This very morning I realised that my anger didn’t bring good things. It brought me heat in head, unclear thought and unlucky events. And the unlucky events were the worst as I’ve always been feeling lucky in my life.

Look what happened to me….

I queued behind a lady who failed scanning her fingerprints and facial recognition in the immigration autogate that made the waiting too long for such a sophisticated system. My Malaysia Digital Arrival Card submission failed 4 times today. My passport identification page got folded. My automatic bagagge check-in failed, with a bonus of bitter sour unfriendly female airline assistant treating my passport like a trash.

Please forgive me, dear self. Those mistakes do not belong to you and you are not responsible to bear any cost; they are those people’s, let them deal with any consequences possible.

I feel lucky.

Feel lucky.

Lucky!

Why

None ever knows why,
All happen through unknown plan
Swarming around light
Celebrating unknown-ness
Night after night with no end.

—

kind of amazed that Daniel Goleman is into meditation 🤯

Souvenirs

I bring souvenirs
Wrapped in a pouch made with love
For you who's waited.
This pouch might be forgotten,
The fragrance's always missed.

—

a batik pouch to wrap an oleh-oleh for a friend — all is handmade by me, done in about 4 hours; no sewing machine, only a pair of sciccors, a ruler, thread and needle

tell me what makes us meditate better than doing things with love

the body part is cut from printed batik “Truntum”

the round base is cut from printed batik “Wahyu Tumurun” using a stainless-steel bowl as the pattern

the waste including some Hansaplast to close some small cut on my finger

About oleh-oleh

Avatar The Last Airbender

You can be The Avatar in your own universe if you can control your elements!

♥️

Aang!

Traded Wisdom

You sell some wisdom
That unwraps with mere breathing
Dimensions and faith.

—

6 sheets of handmade batik are currently flying to my home; they are wisdom scribed on white cotton by some humble Javanese women who are willingly dedicating life as tradition protectors

matur nuwun 💕

Much Ado

There’s much ado
About what’s not done.
Shakespeare said that’s nothing.
There’s much ado
About what’s promised.
I said that’s nothing.

—

4th day of Ramadhan 💗 nothing but so much smile at my own cookings

Scattered

I'm foraging beauty
On my way to work,
To shop,
To travel,
To eat out;
And
On my way to kitchen,
To balcony,
To a room,
To the loo.
Beauty is just scattered by
You.

—

white, yellow, fragrant, pretty, soon to dry then to produce seed for another orchid to bloom 💕

blooming time for the pigeon orchids along the Yio Chu Kang Road next to my office – this appearance can be seen in almost all of the big trees around this road

Hidden

All cracks in the stone
Show what is glowing inside.
Light in the darkness—

—

2nd day of Ramadhan – craving another one that is not shown through a photo 😁

Full

How full are you, Love?
Leave a space where air can move
And water can flow.

—

It is Ramadhan 1, I started my 30-day fasting.

Fasting is not a new or foreign to my family. My parents consider it a sacred practice in their life. My oldest sister does fast every two days. Intermitten fasting is never a new thing for us. We are Javanese, we fast both as a spiritual sanctuary and mental exercise.

When we talk about fasting in Javanese tradition, it is not always like the Islamic fasting (not eating, not drinking, not smoking, not having sex on the daylight). Fasting or pasa or poso in Javanese is managing what is in and out through all doors of senses in our body. It can be simply by choosing what to eat, when to eat, how to eat.

In old days Javanese did many different types of fasting and so they name those types of fasting differently.

Mutih (derived from the word putih or white in Javanese) is when they only eat rice and drink water. They won’t be consuming anything with tastes: sweet, salty, sour, bitter, gurih, etc.

Ngidang (derived from the word kidang or deer in Javanese) is when they only consume leafy vegetables and water, and no other things.

Ngrowot (derived from the word krowot that means “no rice” in Javanese) in when they will not consume rice and any product of any kind of rice).

Etc….

For this Ramadhan I decided to do ngrowot. It means I will not consume any rice and any product of rice crom dawn to dusk, from day 1 until end of Ramadhan. I want to know how good I am pushing myself through “hunger”.

Bismillah!

Yes, I can.

💕

my first day of “Ramadhan Ngrowot” breakfast

😁

Desert Rose (Putri Ariani)

Ramadan is just starting❣️

Endured

Learning, Poetic, Those People

There is pain
And patience
In endurance,
A chemical compound
That swims in blue skies,
Gets sprinkled down to a pool
Where Superman
Is endured.

—

i met Sam who swam for 20 laps of 50-meter long pool today – she swam without stopping at all, while i stopped in the middle just because a leaf poked my goggles

Sam was 65 and she said she also started like me (not consistently moving, she even said she preferred the small pool of 25-meter long near my block) – sixtyfiiivvveee!!!

she said she pushed herself past several years before finally enjoying the 50-meter long lap with no stop back and forth for one hour

see you in two days, Sam! thanks for inspiring me with your humbleness and endurance 💕

Inside Out 2 (Movie)

Can”t wait….

Have a nice weekend!

The Extremes

What makes you pretty
Is the smile
That is pulled
From two extremes,
Left and right.
The extremes make you pretty.
Oh, Dear!
You're extremely pretty.

—

extremely pretty 💕

Own n Owe

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person


I don't own this body
I don't own this heart
I don't own this soul
I don't own this life

I owe
You.
Yet do
You know that
You owe me, too?
All these limited experiences that imprison
You belong to me.

All in all
I belong to
You.

—

some part of me is a monk, some part is a bitch and that fact makes me perfect of being a human

💕

(picture from Pinterest)

Care

Learning, life, Poetic

Care comes from nowhere
Free of charge in a white bag
Called good heart.

—

coming home from office today, i found a white bag from no name — without opening it i knew it was sukun (breadfruit) from Aunty Goh, the kind lady

thank you❣️

With all the limitation some people are still willing to share. This touches my very heart.

Ramadhan (Islamic fasting month) is coming soon. Although sharing is not necessarily done only in Ramadhan, yet doing it in a month when I subdue more physical desire will expose myself to more meanings of life– hopefully. Sharing starts with Aunty Goh and the gang!

Please allow me, dear Aunty Goj to cook a simple dish for you this week.

Salaam.

❣️

Breathing

Living is breathing.
A quest of in and out air
To define meaning

—

breathing day for some of my beautiful batik, the Javanese exhibition of wisdom

One of treatments to handmade batik is letting them breath or in Javanese language we call it “angin-angin” that is literally “wind-wind” — hanging batik clothes in fresh air, not directly under the sun to let them be in contact with air to decrease the humidity.

Enjoy your breathing.

❣️

Balanced Kites

I am soaring
Like a kite
Finding its balance
Through moving air.
This kite is a rhombus
Proven mathematically,
Tested naturally,
Crafted beautifully.

You are flying
Like a kite
Decorating the sky
With rich hues.
That kite is a bird
Coloured green and white,
Singing sweet and mild,
Shining keen and bright.

—

batik sido luhur, pethak

Sido Luhur is one of classic series of “batik sido” i.e.: Sido Luhur, Sido Asih, Sido Mukti, Sido Mulyo and Sido Drajat.

Batik Sido Luhur pattern is the closest to the Sido Mukti one.

This pattern was composed by Ki Ageng Henis, the grandfather of Mataram Kingdom founder, Panembahan Senopati.

Batik Sido Luhur is composed of adjacent rhombus with various ornaments in each of the rhombus such as building, temple, butterfly, bird, lar gurdho (one wing of Javanese eagle), flowers and shells.

Batik Sido Luhur can be dyed with white (pethak) black (cemeng) or orangy brown (sogan) as background.

Sido Luhur is literally comprising 2 Javanese words: the word sido that means to be or to become, and luhur that means noble, honor and dignity.

As a norm in Javanese tradition: what you wear (especially in important occasion or function) is an exhibition of wish and pray. Batik Sido Luhur is meant as a wish and pray for those wearing it to be granted honourable heart and good role model for others around.

Batik Sido Luhur batik is often put on the bride in the night of midodareni (one night before wedding ceremony) also as a form of prayer and a hope that she be healthy and become a wife of honor and dignity.

Batik Sido Luhur is also put on the mother-to-be during tingkeban or mitoni ceremony (traditional ceremony when a mother-to-be enters the 7th month of pregnancy).

I just got a pair of Sido Luhur in white and am willing to own one pair in black and one pair in sogan.

I just got a thought of seriously becoming a batik curator. What a sweet dream!

💕

Diagonally

Many shorter distances
To reach a destination,
Diagonally.
Yet I take one of further ways
And so I see
That the longest journey
Is adorned with
The rich jungles,
The clean lakes,
The wide deserts,
The deep seas
Under windy light rain
To reach home
Whose door looking out
To a beautiful scenery.

—

batik sogan udan liris kupu by Ibu Tien Wartinah

Udan Liris (udan = rain, liris = light; udan liris = light rain or drizzle; Javanese) is a diagonal pattern of traditional Javanese batik. It resembles the light rain that comes down diagonally by the wind.

Kupu is butterfly in Javanese. It symbolises transformation– potential to realization.

Super Life