I wish a nice day for you
And evening so bright,
In one morning wishing you
Good night.
How time
Broadens our space,
It mimes
Every broken wish.
—
The Persistence of Memory (painting by Salvador Dali)
Time
Category: This Person
Cross Road
Walking a cross road,
Filling a crossword puzzle
With just a sweet wit
—
never hesitate to walk through a cross road where map is sometimes a second thought, the first is always what my heart says β£οΈ
Perfect?
Perfect, Beloved?
Universe dancing pattern
With risks and blessings--
—
there is no need to be perfect to be beautiful — it is just about expressing one’s self genuinely
picture from Pinterest
In Our Rendezvous
In our next
Next
Next rendezvous
We won't see but white
And laughter
Decorating the day.
All bad times will be forgotten,
Leaving early with the short memory
Giving us only good times
And an ease that next stage
Is just another
Rendezvous.
—
if we all survive by then, my best friends and i will look like this π all of us will wear spectacles π how sweet and romantic a friendship can be β£οΈ
picture from Pinterest
Hard or Light
To remember you is hard
With only shadow in my eyes.
To touch you is hard
With dimensions between us.
To see you is hard
With you unwilling to show up.
To hear you is hard
With your vague heads-up.
Yet to love you is light
As light as light brightening my heart.
—
someone is lucky to be capable of loving even that whose heart is a frozen clover π
Purple
Purple is royal,
Then royal becomes too high.
Let white be ruling.
—-
dots, lines, shapes and colours — i used to love purple until one day white looked lighter to both my eyes and head π
when light is growing prettier
Forgotten
I'm a river
Forgotten when reaching the sea.
Nothing I can brag about this name.
I'm almost reaching estuary,
A transit for this memory.
I won't stop,
Home is soon to see.
—-
how great, how clear, how far the rivers can be; they will be forgotten once reaching the sea — union after separation
Picture borrowed from https://www.neefusa.org/story/water/what-estuary
Take A Break
Sleep, sleep,
Dearest
As night is welcoming,
Morning is preparing
Another day.
Breathe, breathe,
Dearest
As stars are lullabying,
Moon is cradling
You for the sun.
ββ
signs of true sickness of mine is when throbbing and piercing headache stays almost 24 hours and leaves me not even care of taking off things from hair and ears after work β yet that is when lying down on bed is a reward π
sleeping without even bathing is a blessing β£οΈ
Decisions
This path is smooth,
Many have traveled on it.
A lot of hearts were here
Singing hopes through time.
When sun goes down,
This path is glowing.
Many souls were here
Whispering love through space.
Sun will rise again,
Another day will come.
This heart is here
Promising to grow with the flow.
This heart is deciding
Every step is counted
And dedicated to grow prettier,
Making the path smoother.
ββ
whatβs broken can be amended and still beautiful
seeing how life is generous, I can fall in love with the same face again and again; yet when health is getting from bad to worse, I feel this heart is broken now and then
yet life is still generous, so I decide to fall in love everyday π
Ultimate Commitment
I can only love me
As me is the closest
One
To
You.
ββ
hello, bitter reality β I will take care of you as I commit to myself ππΌπ
how much hurting the sarcasm, euphemism and talking numbers people intentionally sent to me, it will just hurt themselves ππΌπ
I wonβt send blessings anymore as blessings are free for them to earn by themselves ππΌπ
Dilemma
Itβs a dilemma
Between safety and beauty.
Each is a glory.
ββ
falling leaves on a moss garden
red falling leaves are beautiful and I want to experience them again someday yet it is always hard choice to me β always a dilemma between beautiful autumn or short torture of itchy welts
Iβm allergic to cold weather β after 1 week Iβm getting bad skin rash and itch that wonβt let me stop scratching crazily on the itchy part; my recent Kyoto was the worst so far
I should have had antihistamine with me so all the falling leaves and moss garden images wouldnβt have been shaken by my skin-scratching disco π
I still wish to be back someday π not in an extension of biz trip, but a personal leave only π
Personality
Itβs me.
Which me?
This me,
That me,
Me out,
Me in,
Me right,
Me left.
I want the best me
Thatβs happy.
ββ
a temple with many statues made by a monk artistβs stone carving students
one statue represents one studentβs personality β I guess
hundreds of them
asked to choose one, I did this one β laughing at myself is a best part of getting older and mature; the only one that canβt be not serious in is my work! π
About Otagi Nenbutsu-ji Temple
A Fragrant Machiya
This fragrance that travels in to the breathing brings me to where unknown stories were told.
Who built you,
Dear home?
Who grew with you,
Dear home?
Who left you,
Dear home?
I feel you,
Dear home.
Today I stay with
You
To realise that
Home is where breathing feels so real.
ββ
my favourite room where the fragrance of hinoki wood and tatami is the strongest β I feel home π
thank you!
I thought I would stay in a boutique hotel made from a machiya
I found that I am alone in a two-story fragrant machiya which is 3 times bigger than the condo unit I live in Singapore β wonβt stay alone next time!
THE FRAGRANCE!!! β₯οΈ
About machiya
Heart of Teen
If someday the age counts no more;
I want to be remembered as
A girl who resides in an old soul,
A woman who cradles teenβs heart,
A foe who wins with no glories,
A friend who shares joy,
A sister who carries responsibilities,
A daughter who pays homage,
A human being who makes mistakes,
A nobody who learns lessons,
A fool who scavenges wisdom.
And thatβs what I will call
Alive.
ββ
hidden grey hair and new spectacles made my day; finally giving up to progressive lenses after 4 years of denying that my eyes are not young anymore β enjoying a bowl of Vietnamese pho bo shot candid by a friend visiting from Jakarta β so blessed to be almost 50 with the heart of teen πππ
Flipped
I flipped this body down
To see the world upside down
My first effort brought frown
Still I decided to go on
Iβm hanging my satchel
Iβm hanging my pole
Iβm taking all as it is
From behind the scroll
ββ
this is my favourite photo of mine although I donβt look good at all: Iβm simply upside down with fun as how I see the world outside my work, trying to relax by seeing things from different perspectives and understanding othersβ esp those disagreeing with me β
to me most of the time caption is more important than picture and I always like to tease my friends with my caption and some usually cannot stop commenting although irrelevantly π
Self Care
Thereβs a seed
Called self
Needing love
And care
And consistency
To grow,
To glow,
To everlastingly flow.
ββ
started fermented rice water to treat my long hair β this one is black rice + rose tea + lime
shampoo bar and conditioner bar made of longsheng rice that is used by the Red Yao women for their beautiful long hair β after using these bought bars, I plan to make my own shampoo bar from Indonesia rice and conditioner liquid from boiled flaxseed water
π
all in the name of self care because no one cares about myself but me
π
I Bow to The Divine in You
The bow that launches
Is the arrow that is shot:
An exhibit by the
One
That honour is inevitably
Gorgeous
For that
Respecting
From that
Witnessing.
Salute to the bowstring.
ββ
I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada β I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in you and all my fellow Tapa Brata participants ππΌ
it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree β hope health and calmness be granted to all of us β₯οΈ
Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him β the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect
canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection
torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center β yummy and fragrant when cooked
π
Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didnβt talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.
Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation β they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop βngereogβ in the last 5 to 10 minutes.
My age doesnβt mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.
See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! π
ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someoneβs intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress π
Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) β Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata π
pure friendship is such a magical bond π
Pilgrimage
This lifeβs pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.
ββ
a mosque in Tokyo β Tokyo Jamii (Camii)
entrance β assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii
mosque area – 2nd floor
i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it
the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines
a feeling of home π
then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking β she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me π thank you π
time to fly home β thank you, Tokyo π
you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars
My Heart Is
They have said
I am lost.
What I seeβ¦
I am in a forest away
From comfort of thought.
I am not in a castle
In which mind is blunted.
My heart finds home
In which 25 prophets
And 1000 saints
Have found the paths.
It is a way
That all Prophets and Saints bless.
I am home
With the flow
That brings petals
To where fragrance blends
With clarity of fluids,
Various fluids
Gliding to a vast ocean
Of love.
ββ
i donβt care anymore what i am called by them β Muslim? Alhamdulillah, Sufi? Subhanallah, Buddhist? Masya Allah
what i am sure of is that my sutra is sutra of love with which all prophets and saints have travelled, whatever religions they have been associated with
thank you
π
Two
There are two gateways
To enter one gallery
Full of works of art.
ββ
my left side of face is sadder, bitter and negative with which iβve been made more and more accepting to unwelcoming sides of life π
my right is happier, sweeter and optimistic that has persuaded me to be more and more letting go of what is not working after some good deed π
whatever unpleasant and pleasant things others say about me, i feel complete with some gap that might not need to be bridged simply to show that imperfection is a perfect gift in life π
Note: the picture at the bottom is batik scarf designed by Dudung Aliesyahbana, a batik maestro from Pekalongan, Central Java
Books To Breathe
Have a seat, dear friends.
Breathe this home before our chat.
Leave the heat outside.
Pages of shapes and colours,
Tell them to bring their best selves.
ββ
Coffee table books are good to make guests relaxed before longer chat with me and at the same time to lay foundation of the chat. Not all guests visit me to chill out; some do to ask for help that might make it difficult for them to start a convo, so some flash reading can help them break the ice and sometimes for the host to loop back to the ice breakers when strategising to refuse unreasonable requests. π
Just fyi, some people donβt easily give up βselling misery to get a buy-inβ, so be softly tough; one exquisite coffee table book might not even work.
About coffee table books
coffee table books taking turn monthly to welcome my friends
this book contains reproduced masterpieces of worldβs well-known painters; the characters in the original paintings are all replaced by cats
all reproductions are by Susan Herbert
thank you, Maβam for your art! ππΌ
here is very few from a total of 140 illustrations
The Beguiling of Merlin β Edward Burne-Jones, 1872-7
A Couple β Pierre Auguste-Renoir c. 1868
The Milkmaid β Johannes Vermeer c. 1660
The Childβs Bath β Mary Bassat, 1893
this is originally not a coffee table book but i will make it one β currently reading it ππΌ
always suitable anytime so it will be forever on the table accompanied by the monthly one β only women have this power π
Relax
What is said
Can be misunderstood.
What is shown
Can be misinterpreted.
What is written
Can be misled.
Only those who clarifies
Will be clear.
Relax.
ββ
sometimes you just want to relax whatever whoever thinks of you π βcoz only those who really clarify will understand β those who guess too much will lose so much π
the seats
the door
the aisle
Caution
Caution, Beloved
Walking down the hill with care.
Climbing hasnβt ended.
ββ
going downstairs is oftentimes more risky than upstairs β my fatherβs last words to me before he died was ββ¦. be cautiousβ
Borrowed Heaven
All these are borrowed,
Iβll have to return all.
Let me borrow humbly,
So all wonβt make me fall.
So much has been blessed to,
So much has been given to,
So much has been here now for,
This life.
Itβs all what is,
And I accept.
I give up all struggles
To travel light.
Thank
You.
ββ
The Corrs
Beauty
When I was a girl
I admired my motherβs beauty;
Being a juvenile,
I admired my sistersβ and girlfriendsβ;
When adult,
I admired my idolsβ;
Getting more mature,
I admired flowersβ;
All of which forgetting
The beauty in front of the mirror:
Now I admire no oneβs,
But I appreciate everyoneβs;
All through realising
The beauty reflected in the mirror.
ββ
beauty after beauty
beauty refreshed
tell your beautiful self βThank you!β
Sweetness of Heart
My life is sugar cane
That I chew in summer day
Before singing.
My life is honeycomb
That I suck in rainy day
Before whistling.
My life is a bowl of ice cream
That I dig in on a quiet day
Before humming.
My life is sweetness of heart
That I choose
Before resting.
ββ
i wish to be back someday to enjoy it in summer π
Surrender
With no white towel
I surrender
To the realm that hugs this heart.
I am water flowing
With no effort
To the ocean that waits for this mind.
How would this name
Say no to a call that sings love songs?
I submit everything
With a smile
And grace.
Body, mind, spirit and soulβ
-
Jun 10, 2023
when the air taps my whole reality
with everything subtle and overwhelming
ββ
please excuse my strong arms π
after the Tapa Brata my classmates and I are still escorted to meditate everyday of 60 minutes for 90 days
it should be 36th day today but i only have 33 days in which i am able to do full meditation β in fact my doctor was quite surprised that unbelievable progress is indicated in better numbers from the laboratory test result after i meditate regularly β happy tears π₯Ή
my health is much better with calmness that is on track and harmonious thought that builds gradually
iβve registered to next level Tapa Brata next Sep so i can get more benefits to help certain issues in this beloved aging body and to strengthen my mind
canβt wait to meet with the wise teachers who guide us and humble caretakers who help us with daily needs in Forest Island π₯°
i donβt know for sure what i can share from my achievement through meditation yet maybe someday i can help others reduce health complaints at low cost β iβve always wanted to cure diseases with fragrance and herbs; my high intelligent friends said βpseudoscience, a crap wrapped in fancy paperβ, i said βit doesnβt matter at least i can help them feel calmer and think positiveβ
all what happen in my life are like magic both the unexpected and expected β i hope my meditation brings more good magical celebrations to me and my beloved family and friends
and allβ¦
May All Beings Be Happy
π
Free Weekend Class
I started teaching this morning. Overall Iβll be teaching English, soft skills, art and hopefully someday Japanese. I partner with my best friend to establish a free weekend class for the kids and youth in her small library in south area of Yogyakarta. It is a community support that we humbly provide for a better leadership and communication skills of our young generation.
We have very very very limited budget but we commit to help the community not only to welcome but also to design bright future.
Pray for us.
May all beings be happy.
children class this morning β very very basic communication skills of reading, writing, listening, speaking β what a sweet fun session! π
these two girls were the youngest students today π
Score
Dear, oh
Dearβ¦.
You came from
Nowhere
Destroying my scores!
No wonder the soundtrack of my stories
Became messy.
Go eat fish,
My sheets wonβt suffice your belly.
Cat has no logic,
Only fun.
ββ
i used to live with a rescue cat, i named him Bob; he was more interested in tearing my paper apart or sitting on my laptop to playing with his toy or sleeping on my bed π
Bob in his dream of being my boss π back in 2010
may all beings be happy ππΌ
Magical Days
Today I saw magic
Warmly greeted my throbbing head.
βHow deep is your love?β Said she.
βTo whom?β Asked I.
βDoes it matter?β Said she.
And so I was magically charmed
By these heart beats
Chanting a repeated naive rhyme
About how nice Iβve been breathing.
ββ
only those who know the death is just an inch away can do this wholeheartedly π
rike jokanan 
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