No Worry

Learning, Poetic

Why worry?
I am here
Always.

who withers first? the flower? the lady? none, night will wither first then sun rises; the flower and the lady stay now here

Dear Life

Learning, Poetic, This Person

Do you know that the road I've taken is not what I wanted?
And do you know that this is the best I've experienced?

Yes, you know.

Thank you.

Yours truly,

One humble traveler breathing your blessings

Overflown

Learning, Poetic, This Person

I'm a room
Overflown with blessings.
Some visible,
Some unseen,
All undeniable--

this is where water, soil, air and fire show their potential in harmony, no collision

Congrats, Myself

Learning

I started in Multiply in 2007, migrated to WordPress in 2012 — counting….

My colleagues asked me why I write so fast and everyday, I said because it gives me calm state of mind after work. At work things are intense with observation and evaluation; in my blog I can freely talk about my naked truth without anyone limiting me.

Some friends said I am madly in love– yes I am with myself that has been blessed so much in life with the ups and downs, with that that has given me this precious life and with man I romantically very rarely encounter.

Whether my writings are only read by a few and liked by none, it never matters to me; I just want to pour what’s inside into a medium that might be found by those willing to dive into their own depths through what I share.

I also love visiting a few bloggers whose photos strike both my eyes and mind especially nature, whose poems touch my spot of humanity and spirituality and whose humour pulls at least my smiles.

Yes, I am a very boring person and I accept it. Sometimes I think of those fun fearless female with their extraordinary things to show the world, but I know that is not my life duty. I have a brilliant warm love but tiny, not big enough to scream among the crowd but it does powerfully whisper across the universe.

Thank you, WordPress for becoming my ready slate for the past 12 years. I will be loyal to you until time decides an end.

Salaam.

💕

🤍

Ode of A Silent Prayer

Learning

Whether I enjoy floating, or
You do.
I feel stuck between my wish and
Your closed door.
The sea is so vast to be forever to reach
You.

Your charm has always reached me,
The laugter and wisdom.
Dear, Love
You seem so fond of joking,
Sending me a hilarious thinker
In this chaotic time.

My days become short with fast-paced long to-do lists,
My nights become long of waiting for short meet-ups in my mornings.
In between you keep me float
While I want to keep flowing.

Beloved,
I am naturally flowing,
This time this river is stuck.
Please end this whirlpool.
Let me flow.
Let me flow.
Let me flow.
Or, just let me go.

Never answered--
Never replied--

Maybe it's been misunderstood.
Maybe the language is not preferred.
Maybe his signs are never for her.
Maybe she should think it's ok and it's over.

if he’s read the signs well enough, he’ll never think she floats

Dokdes (only in Bahasa Indonesia)

Learning

dr Ryu Hasan aka Dokdes (dokter bedhes — ape doctor) is one of a kind. He is a polyglot (Javanese, Indonesian, English, Japanese, Arabic, Mandarin, Dutch, etc), neuroscientist cum neuro-surgeon, a bloody irritating honest ass!

For my lunch break today 🤓

Garden of Eden

Learning, Map It!

Eden, Beloved
Exists next to the kitchen
Where she has some fun.

A tropical garden is a kind of lush garden I want to see when washing the dishes. I am looking forward to it with the help from our tropical gardener– we can find them easily in Indonesia.

But it will be done after the Japanese garden. Right now the spot is still packed with construction material and debris. There shall be deep cleaning to ensure no left over of material in the soil and fertile soil to be added.

While the Japanese garden is restricted to inner circle, this tropical garden is where all guests can take some fresh air as long as they don’t make any harm to anyone around.

Please be patient, dear self. One at a time–

💕

had to cut out the coloured part as there is some spoiled part around it

yosh! now time to complete my laundry 😍

the sketch that kept delayed

Private

Learning, This Person

Private's, Beloved
This ordinary one's life.
Not much to expose--

I lock my Instagram account always and it forever will be locked, only those having directly met with me can become my contacts. Does it sound arrogant? No, it is a protection — to protect myself from unfair judgement from those contacts knowing me from my words or my pictures in my curated frames; and to protect my contacts from misjudging me simply based on my curated frames– they will be able to judge me more fairly by talking to me or meeting with me first before becoming my contacts in Instagram.

My contacts are those family members and friends; not even colleagues as we believe our professional judgement might be clouded with some personal bias that is not even related to work.

I am so so sorry for being so picky (a bit irritating I know I am) but I am still willing to reply anyone’s messages.

💕

What about WordPress?

It is where I am ranting and there are only 20-40 people visiting me daily and my postings are all extracted ideas in poetry that by nature can be interpreted by anyone. So anyone is welcome to visit my WordPress even without leaving a trace.

💕

Release

Learning, Poetic

Release, Beloved
What's wished. Let it fly to find
Its way to go home.

this fragile dandelion is my favourite plant, it reminds me to release wishes to their way home, where they materialise their best potentials

💕

(picture from Pinterest)

Back On Track

Learning, Map It!

Today I am browsing around with my Blue and feeling good!

Back on track. Let’s do it all day!

Thank you for all the active senses❣️

….many more to share in silence

Happy National Day, Singapore!

Learning

thank you for taking care of me for these 12 years and counting — you are greatly blessed 💙

i saw a chopper flew Singapore flag above the Seletar Airport this afternoon and felt so thankful to be alive now here

Laughter

Learning, Poetic

Laughter's, Beloved
You radiate cheerfulness,
We all count blessings.

when you laugh, the dried grass comes alive

I Can’t Yet I Can

Learning, love, Poetic

I can't talk about
You all the time,
People will think I am crazy
Or crazy about
You.

But how can I
Stop thinking about
You, while obviously
You are everywhere
I am?

blaming why a plate seems empty but actually full of unseen material

aka

what is wanted is obvious, but there is no way — don’t blame the guest standing in front of the door, blame the host not responding to the greeting

Without Teacher

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

What am I
Without teacher?
A lost wanderer
Losing destination.

What am I
Without teacher?
A confused traveler
Losing guidance

What am I
Without teacher?
A dreamer
Losing inspiration.

What am I
Without teacher?
A human
Losing meaning.

What am I
Without teacher?
A Soul
Repeating the same mistakes.

Dear
Teacher,
You are born
For me
To be reborn
As me.

I'm grateful to
You.

Today’s lunch break was about a phenomenal chat with some teachers of life.

Thousands if not millions of teachers have taught me in life. There are some that I cherish the most today, those that have triggered me to make biggest decisions in life.

Thank you, dear teachers❣️

Bapak Merta Ada, he was the one teaching me to go within without doubt, without limit – “spread love and compassion”, his advice 🥹

Sister Zak, my Arabic teacher — she emphasised that what we read needs to be well understood first then pondered then can be interpreted (differently) — “be a responsible interpreter of the Quran for yourself, no one to blame when you make wrong interpretation or decision“, her advice

Aaron Cass, my mentor in Beshara School who helped me open most doors of freedom of responsibly being human through his amazing knowledge and wisdom about sufism and esp about Ibn Arabi & Rumi — “from now on whatever you do differently, never make it a new religion”, his advice

Ina, a best friend from high school whose action moved my soul: she left her brilliant career (at the same time I started mine in Singapore) without new career to take care of her parents for her sense of responsibility; she took care of her mother until she passed away, now she is taking care of her father; Ina, you are beautifully blessed — “let’s exchange stupid memes and videos”, her message

dear Ibu, i won’t let anyone hurt you — “work responsibly and take care”, her every morning’s advice

Vito, my dear nephew, “i will always love you and protect you forever”, his last message before he passed

the fire warden in the mirror, “have you smiled today?” my greeting to myself

Clarity

Learning, Poetic, This Person

Clarity's in you,
In the mirror in your hand.
Clean it everyday.

how can i deny how ugly i am with the mirror patched with oil and dust?

morning message from my mirror

thank you

Water War

Learning, Poetic, Those People

Today
The war was cool
Under the water
With some kids
Who know
Only fun!

look at those 3 teenagers — they shot me with a water gun under the water while i was swimming; they thought i would be annoyed, i said to them “hello” when i breathed in above the water then we became friends, they moved aside when i was passing by — thank you, sweet rascals 😀😘

i saw they did the same to other swimmers 😂👍🏽

i think i have fewer and fewer reasons to ignore blessings in this life

A Home

Learning, Poetic

A home's, Beloved
Where door's silently guarding,
Hot tea's comforting.

it is very easy for me to feel home anywhere i am as long as i see an immediate chance to be calm — i can stay in different hotels in different cities/countries with no effort as long as they are safe and clean

it answers why i don’t enjoy wandering around too long in a market place like shopping mall; i feel like the market place is moving in to me

it also answers why i feel so home in WordPress rather than in other platforms

home is where my heart can tolerate excitement

Pleased, Guilty

Learning, Poetic, This Person

Pleased and guilty, love
Intertwine with her black hair,
Making some balance.
They will fall and get flushed out
When the root is weak or dried.

today’s dinner after work (from remote on Monday)

i started cooking almost all my meal in early 2020 when working from remote was applied due to the pandemic; since then i only eat out with colleagues, friends or visiting families or when i myself want to eat Japanese food (good Japanese food needs refined ingredients and high skill that can only happen in a pro place) — no one can cook my Indonesian food better than me 😀

i also started doing all household chores that were before done by a paid assistant

since then i don’t want to give up doing it, even if i have to stay up late i will do all by myself for self satisfaction — so pleased to be moving around at home

just yesterday my regular assistant finally requested to go back to take my weekly chores like before (since pandemic i only call her in emergency situation) — i could not say yes or no as it is not about money anymore although it is not a big expense to do (my mother will complain and say it is an act of ignorance — i’m sorry, Ibu 😘)

i’m still feeling guilty since i finally said no this morning, i told her that i might call her just for occasional need and include her in my meal list when i have something special in my kitchen 😘

i feel that giving up household chores is like giving up some part of my moving meditation

cooking, cleaning, gardening (small group of potted plants), laundry, etc give me sanctuary from routine at work — also honestly give me excuse to reject some (unnecessary) invitation from (unwanted) people

this guilt will be difficult to go away i know

but i prefer losing compliments rather than losing my sanity

💕

Our Math

Learning, Poetic

Math of Life, Beloved
Shows beautiful spectrum.

Your equation is 
Complex and with confound.
Mesmerizing.
Mine is
Basic and blunt.
Energizing.
The only same factor is
X and Y that sit at the front.

Math of Life though is fun,
Solved with nothing to be done--

RC Gorman’s work of art