Liberating love
Makes her fly high to the sky
Seeing a blessed heart.
the ultimate love is that that liberates
listening to this song feels like liberated in love
π
Liberated
Tag: compassion
Blessed
She's blessed, Beloved
In the name of none but love
By those knowing love.
almost done with the packing — short getaway somewhere connected with 1-week biz trip to KL
i’ve been in good mood
this was the first time i was kissed and hugged by the CFO of a company after a closing meeting — she said she had heard my name from other counterparts in other branches and she liked the way i defended my standpoint; or, probably she was just being a mother who remembered her daughter
thank you, YW; you are blessed
Good Morning
Good morning, dear self.
Fly my love across the sea
Where heaven's sitting.
RC Gorman’s work of art – i feel strongly Gorman knew exactly how it feels to be a not-married woman: dressing herself nicely, wearing herself comfortably, greeting environment sweetly, loving her own self dearly like loving her beloved
Birthday & Zodiac(s) (ranting)
Happy birthday, myself.
Continue doing what you love.
If not, love what you are doing with commitment, discipline and some gentleness called love.
Know that every single deed be recorded in a ribbon coiling around you, reviewed and rewarded.
Know that however sincere and true you are,
You sometimes will be misunderstood
Even by those closest to you,
And sometimes explanation won't clear the way.
Just be true,
Be kind.
Or, walk out of the room for a while.
Enjoy your double-life: being one in the crowded road and the other in the silent pathway, always
With some sprinkle of love.
You are blessed.
A moment of happiness, you and I sitting on the verandah, apparently two, but one in soul, you and I. (Rumi)
I am 49 todayβ¦.
….feeling blessed with what I’ve been given. #andnotgiven
….feeling good with by whom I’ve been surrounded. #andnotsurrounding
….feeling lucky that still looking younger than my age (said one selling me a life insurance and said ones selling me bright coloured dresses). #paradoxicallyblessed
When people say “age is just a number”, I’ve always disagreed. Age is counted with number to highlight various processes and stories along a linear line although to me life is never linear, it’s always inward spiral. Originally the phrase “just a number” is to comfort those afraid to age, those who think getting old is scary and less favourable. In fact, getting old is fun and blessed. I’ve never thought that I still can have fun at this age, responsibly do what I love to, go to places in bucket list (no backpacking), dress the way I love to, fall in love every single day with myself and those making me love myself more, look forward to dreams coming true, and a lot more. I am talking about getting old, not being dead– the latter is mysterious and I’m still not committed to be π€
What is the essence of getting old to me? Getting old is a journey ahead of total maturation of how a human being chooses to responsibly respond & tactfully react to given situations; and a journey back home to childlike sincerity within of how a human being playfully celebrates failures and successes of life. I refresh maturity each day, at the same time playfulness and candour.
When birthday comes, people like to remind me of me being Virgo, but am I truly a Virgo just because of being born in Sep? I am not sure, in fact Virgo is in both my sun and moon, my rising/ascendant is Aquarius and several other zodiac signs sit in the other houses in the chart. Actually yes I see at times I am a pendulum swinging from being βVirgoβs pragmatic approaches, worrisome nature and rigid ideasβ to being βAquarianβs free-spirit, living life one day at a time, enjoying here-now momentβ and in between I am transiting in different zodiac signs in experiencing this precious life. By Chinese astrology I am a Rabbit. By Javanese astrology, oh sooo complicated!
Particular family members, friends & colleagues quote astrology to assure me that they know my personality when commenting about my behaviours.
“It’s because you’re Virgo so you are like this,” said they. “It’s because you’re a Rabbit so you are like that”. “It’s because you’re blahblahblah….”
Well, I respect their willingness to at least understand about me through the pseudoscience called astrology. They don’t judge with bare hands, they present something to my hands. Science or pseudoscience to me though must follow my conscience; their opinion might slip from between the pores of my existence, from between fingers of these hands.
Anyways, to my understanding about this self: I simply accept that this person called Rike is a combination of inherited & evolving DNA, family upbringing & social interaction, life experience & trauma, decided responses & reactions, hopes & dreams; which might happen in awareness or not, well organized or random. If astrology does matter, it is only part of all. Once a human being understands one’s self through oneβs own self (in Javanese wisdom it includes but not be limited to “mawas diri” or self examination), astrology knowledge is just frills in a gown.
Please don’t get offended by my personal opinion, take it as a stupid if not humble one.
Whatever strong opinions about or labels given to me –how ugly or how grand– by other human beings won’t change the true me that I experience intimately. I won’t let those labels rob this intimacy. Even all identities I embrace dearly shouldn’t shake this intimacy. Those human beings labelling me and I are raw stones massively tumbled in a giant tumbling machine called life; we each other all hit, break, scratch, polish to finally shine and show the true colours of each of us. How painfully beautiful at the same time beautifully painful life is!
Thank you, Gusti Allah for this beautiful journey called human life.
I know you’ve had boundless repertoire of sweet surprises. Please give me wonderful time like always.
π
Tell Me
It's confusing.
Tell me how
I should love
You.
Is it to shine
As a sun does?
Is it to glow
As a star does?
Is it to reflect
As a moon does?
Is it to pass by
As a comet does?
I'm none of those.
I am now loving
You as the space does,
It is to contain
Your existence,
Embracing what's all
In and about
You.
Tell me how
I should love
You.
RC Gorman’s work of art
A Book Is A Garden
A book, Beloved
Soaks a soul in clean water.
Washed off and refreshed--
I read a book by Haemin Sunim, Love for Imperfect Things. It is second book from him Iβve read, the first was When Things Donβt Go Your Way. While the latter felt like diving into my own understanding of lifeβ a set of confirmation of what Iβve done and/or understood in life; the currently read is like a playful garden to me, giving me more space to reinterpret my life based on Haemin Sunimβs point of view.
Iβve stopped reading βheavy booksβ, those that make me more intelligent with bunches of upgraded sciences and knowledge, more critical towards othersβ (different from me), more analytical around my folks (outside work), more rigid in forgiving those βmaking mistakesβ. I am now trying to dull the knife in my mind, Iβd love to have curvy corners that will just give slight sensation without wound when bumping or bumped by my fellow human beings.
π
Yes, I am now a weak book reader, but I am an avid reader of my own heart and life.
This book reminds me that I should be bonding myself to an anchor called compassion in life so whatever happens to or around me, it is always love and kindness that become my basis of judgement and decision.
thank you, Haemin Sunim β how grateful i am to have read this book
Most books I am now attracted to are fiction, short books, those illustrated, colourful, with picture collection. I read some biography but only of my favourite people (now reading Alan Rickman’s).
Not a fan of βself helpβ books either as I donβt need to be helped, just need to sit together with a company to listen and to be listened to.
every chapter is as powerful as decades of dripping water that forms a smooth hole on a rock π
thanks to my favourite person for recommending this book; i wish to see you soon π
Continuing reading Haemin Sunim’s next book–
Softness
She won't let go, Love
The softness and clarity
She's gained through tough years.
found it this morning and sent it to Ina and Novi, my bestfriends — humble human beings whose heart talks to me with blissful joy, i to them and would be on and on
thank youβ£οΈ
Without Teacher
What am I
Without teacher?
A lost wanderer
Losing destination.
What am I
Without teacher?
A confused traveler
Losing guidance
What am I
Without teacher?
A dreamer
Losing inspiration.
What am I
Without teacher?
A human
Losing meaning.
What am I
Without teacher?
A Soul
Repeating the same mistakes.
Dear
Teacher,
You are born
For me
To be reborn
As me.
I'm grateful to
You.
Today’s lunch break was about a phenomenal chat with some teachers of life.
Thousands if not millions of teachers have taught me in life. There are some that I cherish the most today, those that have triggered me to make biggest decisions in life.
Thank you, dear teachersβ£οΈ
Bapak Merta Ada, he was the one teaching me to go within without doubt, without limit – “spread love and compassion”, his advice π₯Ή
Sister Zak, my Arabic teacher — she emphasised that what we read needs to be well understood first then pondered then can be interpreted (differently) — “be a responsible interpreter of the Quran for yourself, no one to blame when you make wrong interpretation or decision“, her advice
Aaron Cass, my mentor in Beshara School who helped me open most doors of freedom of responsibly being human through his amazing knowledge and wisdom about sufism and esp about Ibn Arabi & Rumi — “from now on whatever you do differently, never make it a new religion”, his advice
Ina, a best friend from high school whose action moved my soul: she left her brilliant career (at the same time I started mine in Singapore) without new career to take care of her parents for her sense of responsibility; she took care of her mother until she passed away, now she is taking care of her father; Ina, you are beautifully blessed — “let’s exchange stupid memes and videos”, her message
dear Ibu, i won’t let anyone hurt you — “work responsibly and take care”, her every morning’s advice
Vito, my dear nephew, “i will always love you and protect you forever”, his last message before he passed
the fire warden in the mirror, “have you smiled today?” my greeting to myself
Breathing Forgiveness
Good morning, morning.
Would you please lend her fresh air
To forgive the world?
please make forgiveness air that i breathe
today i learnt that i am not that forgiving
Forgiving
Forgive, Beloved
This self questioning one's self
About where to go.
i’m headin’ 2 U
[only in Bahasa Indonesia]
Found a dearest good friend wrote a touching message in Instagram this evening and would love to keep it here — only in Bahasa Indonesia though
My translation into English might never be good enough to contain how compassionate her message is. You might want to translate with Google.
Note: it is a verbatim text
β£οΈ
bertahun lalu, ketika berkesempatan mengunjungi kaβbah, aku duduk menatapnya lalu berucap: βtuhan, tunjukkan aku cara membaca (iqra) alquran. karean aku tidak percaya tuhan mana pengasih maha penyayang se-strict itu.β aku mengacu ke penekanan pada dosa dan neraka yang kerap diangkat.
sejak ituβatau sebenarnya jauh sebelumnya, aku percaya tuhan terus menjawab permintaanku: hidupku adalah tanggapan tak putus dari tuhan atas permintaan itu. dia menunjukkan betapa dia maha pengasih, maha penyayang dan nama-nama lain yang terlingkupi oleh rahman dan rahim.
aku dipertemukan dengan manusia dan makhluk lain (kucing misalnya) yang menunjukkan ragam bentuk kasih sayang, diperjalankan melalui peristiwa-peristiwa yang membantu melembutkan hatiβatau menunjukkan di bagian mana hatΓ―ku masih perlu dilembutkan; dan dititipkan pada sekolah-sekolah yang secara gamblang membimbingku untuk lebih berwelas asih, berserah, dan merayakan hidup dan keagungannya.
manusia sejatinya bisa berjalan sesuai fatwa hatinya; bisa tergerakkan oleh arahan jiwa (spirit)-nya; bisa hidup dengan lebih jujur minimal kepada diri sendiri. utopis? atau bisa jadi pemikiran bahwa hal ini utopis telah membatasi kita?
banyak yang ingin kuceritakan. bukan untuk mengajarkan, karena siapalah aku ini. namun, lebih ke berbagi. siapa tahu ada yang mengetuk hatimu, lalu kau mengetuk hatiku kembali. Sama-sama kita belajar menjadi manusia.
ingin bercerita, tetapi belum tahu bagaimana. kutaruh tulisan ini di sini sebagai langkah awal. atau, mungkin, kau punya cerita, kegelisahan, pertanyaan, atau ide yang bisa melanjutkkan pembicaraan ini?
terima kasih.
β£οΈ
Thank you, dear friend. You’ve touched my heart many times, I hope I’ve at least once done as good as you.
Thanks for making room for me. Always.
Salaam.
Flowing River
There's so much here
Wanting to burst
Colours and fragrances
That have been hiding
In a deep cave
For ages.
It is gemstones,
The petrified blood, tears and sweats
Traveling with time and space:
Flowing river
To the turquoise sea
Uniting with
You.
RC Gorman’s work of art
i kno it’s U
Navigated
She's navigated
By stars that cluster in shapes.
They're glowing maps.
—
remarkable aspect of manta ray behavior is their ability to navigate across vast distances
a friend who didn’t meet for quite some time met me again in Hanoi and brought me this manta ray for my bag
she said she will invite me soon to her wedding π
thank youβ£οΈ
About manta ray
We Are The Champions (Queen)
There's a time, my dear
You cherish with sweet breathing.
Winning against self--
—
i used to be very harsh to myself until 2019 when two doctors made me realise that taking care of my body is as important as taking care of my spirit and mental
i started expressing myself more freely and genuinely, less drama, no excuse to stop me from being calm and confident, accepting me the way me is, unlearning old knowledge, learning new knowledge, opening my heart to all possible layers of truth and beauty
now i believe i am one of this world champions seeing how well i coped with my own self until i can feel so comfortable again back to my me
…. now i won’t let those playing around with me for their own fun in to my life as my life is not only a span of fun free time yet it is a span of fun dedicating time
thank you all for being you even with just a brief existence here now in this short journey
π
I’m Loved
How do you feel loved?
Not so much effort,
It's just a smile,
Or a cuddle from a dog.
I'm loved,
I'm loved
Just because
Life loves,
Love lives
Here
Now.
—
before going back to Singapore, i visited my friend in Lod Tunduh – she has 2 dogs and both love me so much, wherever i sit, both will sneak around like this!
Life in One Single Word
Flow
ββ
Based on my date of birth I live under the protection of Dewi Saraswati (Goddess Sarasvati). Saraswati is the goddess of knowledge, music, art, language and river. She protects those and inspires us studying and/or preserving those.
The most that I embrace among what this goddess is protecting and inspiring is her protection to river because river means flowing water β Iβve probably been forever fascinated by the idea of flowing river.
Like a river, I donβt want to get stuck in one unsolved situation not necessarily because unsolved situation is painful; it is more to me that getting stuck in one situation or being too long in an unsolved situation is boring. When it is not flowing, it is not a river anymore.
I thought someone who gets angry easily just by a small misunderstanding is scary, no.
I thought someone who gives flowers in all happy moments is romantic, no.
Dewi Saraswati on palm leaves is now hanging on the inner part of my bedroom door so when I opening it to start the day, I feel of greeting and being greeted by her after my short wish of gratitude for the sleep and for the back to wake.
the palm leaves with Dewi Saraswati is a handicrafts from Tenganan ancient village, the oldest village in Bali
I thought someone who answers all questions correctly is smart, no.
I thought someone who accepts being intimidated and humiliated is patient, no.
And so on and so forth β the first can be called grumpy, the second not creative, the third Ms/Mr Know All, the fourth stupid or weakβ¦. Been there, done that. Iβve also seen a lot like that around me and I decided to step back from complimenting or approving such behaviours. No way, baby. π
There is another nickname I give to each of them: they are all BORING, not flowing. Positively it means stability; yet on the other side of the coin it means stagnation.
Please protect me from getting bored and being boring being me. Make me loyal to life while flowing.
Salaam.
π
About Tenganan
Mochi
Can you feel the excitement,
Dearest
Of a mochi maker
Imagining you chew what
He makes?
Mochi is
His masterpiece
Presented to life
Everyday
Through the excitement of
Your teeth!
Praise
Him.
The mochi maker
ββ
a ball of mochi that I skipped as I was too full after gobbling all other dishes β yet I didnβt forget to bless it and the maker
I donβt know who made the mochi yet they truly a group of human beings that amazed me with the softness and roundness of this mochi
see you again! π
Released
It hurts when released.
In heart.
It hurts when kept.
In all.
And so I released.
All.
ββ-
I sent blessings and prayers to those passing away not known by their family β whoever and wherever you are all, I am one of those remember you as a family member π May all beings be happy
I believe they are released from any unhappiness
ππΌ
Coincidences
Coincidences,
Unexplained experience
In one fast crossroad
ββ
βM supposed to watch Coldplay in Japan with Vito, my nephew. Weβd planned the trip since May; he passed away in July. Feeling desperate and not wanting to go alone, I was about to cancel the trip when coincidently one best friend said she wanted to visit me in Singapore in the week of the supposed-to-be-cancelled trip. I offered her a free Coldplay ticket to go with me. She agreed! And so the trip cancellation didnβt happen. π
I am still selecting which photo of his is the best to bring. I want to take picture with his picture before, during and after Coldplay concert and wherever we would have been going in Japan.
Sometimes we live to walk on othersβ dreams and those who have the dreams must let go off their dream to be walked on by others. Thatβs why I always want to live my life with true dedication as not everyone has the opportunity to live this long.
For those living chasing dreams, you can!
For those leaving with some dreams behind, your dreams are cherished by your beloved!
Rest in love, dear boy.
Salam.
my life is a chain of ordinary acts, rare sprinkles of drama and magical coincidences β unexplainable except that I am blessed with all the problems and solutions π
Turning Point
Fragrance of sambac
Ferries the wish to the love
Reborn with new scents.
ββ
The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.
I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so β remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. π₯° We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.
Yetβ¦.
reborn
not interested in talking in group except for work;
prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;
choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;
respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesnβt matter
still the same human being yet not the same anymore;
so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrueβ¦. π
Life is mysteriously beautiful.
Thank You so very much!
Alfatihah.
my younger brotherβs 1st son was a newborn death; my older brotherβs sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 β wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck ππ youβre (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! πππ
May All Beings Be Happy
Once
I knew not
Or cared not
That all struggled
Until
I sat still
To feel the whole cosmos
Within me.
Now
I know
And know
That all inevitably suffer
By choice though.
And so
I chant
Wishingβ¦
May all beings be happy, free from suffering.
And to you
Across the ocean.
With red roses,
May you be happy, free from suffering.
ββ
May all beings be happy π
free from suffering
β¦. and also to you across the ocean β₯οΈ
I Bow to The Divine in You
The bow that launches
Is the arrow that is shot:
An exhibit by the
One
That honour is inevitably
Gorgeous
For that
Respecting
From that
Witnessing.
Salute to the bowstring.
ββ
I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada β I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in you and all my fellow Tapa Brata participants ππΌ
it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree β hope health and calmness be granted to all of us β₯οΈ
Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him β the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect
canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection
torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center β yummy and fragrant when cooked
π
Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didnβt talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.
Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation β they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop βngereogβ in the last 5 to 10 minutes.
My age doesnβt mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.
See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! π
ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someoneβs intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress π
Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) β Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata π
pure friendship is such a magical bond π
Fully Paid
Journey becomes light
When promise is fully paid.
The breeze flows sweetly.
ββ
beautifully ready for melukat this morning to clean and clarify my life intension and for my dearest nephew β₯οΈ now his wish for melukat is fully paid β live happily in the other side, my dear π and I have a good feeling that my life is on the right path with my heart losing no love
melukat in Tirtha Empul when it was still quiet this morning β no, I donβt like crowd ππΌ donβt bring me to noisy parties!
Multiply
Multiplied and blessed
Is numbers nature has sent
To a heart that smiles.
ββ
flying back from Narita
flying out from Changi
i believe that whatever shared is multiplied β at least those who enjoy it are multiplied
keep multiplying and blessing!
β₯οΈ
Pilgrimage
This lifeβs pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.
ββ
a mosque in Tokyo β Tokyo Jamii (Camii)
entrance β assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii
mosque area – 2nd floor
i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it
the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines
a feeling of home π
then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking β she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me π thank you π
time to fly home β thank you, Tokyo π
you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars
Hatred Was Love
Hatred, Beloved
Never a choice; it is loveβ
Once got hurt then lost.
(haiku at lunch break)
ββ
osho, the king in shogi (Japanese chess)
About shogi the Japanese chess
Bloom
This heart blooms and blooms
Leaving quiet budding season,
Emerging from mud.
ββ
One of my friends complained why all my poems are about love, like I am either falling in love or broken hearted day by day.
After some time of chat and juice against wine glasses that friend answered oneβs own question.
βYa! Life is about loving: smoothly or broken-heartedly. Now I know what you mean. I thought all were about romance! Ahhh!β
I tried a sip of wine from that friendβs glass.
βYouβll get drunk more at home and write more love poems!β Said that friend laughing.
βYes, I wonβt give up this love whatever interpretation is thrown about me to me. I am thankful enough to have very few true friends who understand.β
Salaam.
true love is too tasteless for those weighing it with money; yet too complex for those weighing it with faith β for those not knowing the true secrets behind words, love is just a marriage between distrust and fear hidden in sparkling plastic π i know love is still beautiful whether it is well understood or misunderstood π
Little Life
Little life canβt survive, you said? Wrong! Look at this little friend!
β¬
οΈ
never underestimate others; how much ever big you are, you will be belittled by your own regret π
Flowing
The water
Flowing
With singing ripples
The air
Flowing
With whistling whispers
The wrong
Flowing
With whirling apologies
The right
Flowing
With blessing forgiveness
The heart
Flowing
With reciting verses
The soul
Flowing
With chanting gratitudes
The music
Flowing
With dancing life
ββ
they bought it from amazon for me and keep it for my next visitβ my prayer is flowing with never-ending γγγγ¨γοΌ
You to Me
In a bottle of perfume
You are the heart note.
In a cup of coffee
You are the acidity.
In a full course meal
You are the entree.
In a life of a human
You are the love.
ββ
stronger with YOU
rike jokanan 
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