graphs of my Universe
These dreams are brewing,
Longing to see a meadow
Where flowers blossom.
heart is where the dreams brew before traveling to another heart that accepts them fully
only Wind can make it happen
thank you for giving me a lot of sleep recently so i can claim back my battery 💕
Her heart aches,
She needs some medicine
And so she goes down on her knees and prays
For clarity.
She hopes soon her tips of fingers can touch clearly
Whether it is pulsating
Of better future
Or potentially repeated puncture.
Show me his way.
fastbreaking today — bismillah
i booked a table in my favourite Japanese resto as i wanted to enjoy their crab but no table was available at my preferred time
so i bought kanikama as the frozen crab was not available either in dondondonki
….randomly mixed it with whatever i had
i needed rice but not much time to cook it
…. ok
not bad at all to start this evening
japanese restaurant, see you on sunday
I asked myself about
Falling in love.
My brain said
Falling in love is scary.
I could not concentrate,
I dropped what I carried,
These tears came down miserably,
Dizzy, oh dizzy!
My heart said
Falling in love is beautiful.
I could imagine what was best,
I shared what I carried,
These tears came down happily,
Pretty, oh pretty!
My soul said
Falling in love is magical.
I could think beyond what was,
I multiplied what I carried to share,
These tears came down with no reason,
Willingly, oh willingly!
Someone said
Falling in love is inevitable.
It filled me when I was hungry,
It emptied me when I was full,
Do, just do
However dizzy or pretty, do it only willingly!
I checked who was the last speaker:
Damn! My stomach was smiling in glee.
scary, beautiful, magical and inevitable
Why worry?
I am here
Always.
who withers first? the flower? the lady? none, night will wither first then sun rises; the flower and the lady stay now here
Clarity's in you,
In the mirror in your hand.
Clean it everyday.
how can i deny how ugly i am with the mirror patched with oil and dust?
morning message from my mirror
thank you
Please keep me in
Your heart
Yours only, where
I stay with those
You love the most, where
You keep all what's private.
In a crowd of stars
I can only see
You, who will never
Remove my favourite sparks:
The bright true blue--
Please keep me in
Your heart
Yours only, where
Soul looks out to the world.
In there wherever you are,
Just peace now here--
In a darkest night
I can only see
You, who will never
Let me travel alone as
I'm your satellite.
RC Gorman’s work of art
Found a dearest good friend wrote a touching message in Instagram this evening and would love to keep it here — only in Bahasa Indonesia though
My translation into English might never be good enough to contain how compassionate her message is. You might want to translate with Google.
Note: it is a verbatim text
❣️
bertahun lalu, ketika berkesempatan mengunjungi ka’bah, aku duduk menatapnya lalu berucap: “tuhan, tunjukkan aku cara membaca (iqra) alquran. karean aku tidak percaya tuhan mana pengasih maha penyayang se-strict itu.” aku mengacu ke penekanan pada dosa dan neraka yang kerap diangkat.
sejak itu—atau sebenarnya jauh sebelumnya, aku percaya tuhan terus menjawab permintaanku: hidupku adalah tanggapan tak putus dari tuhan atas permintaan itu. dia menunjukkan betapa dia maha pengasih, maha penyayang dan nama-nama lain yang terlingkupi oleh rahman dan rahim.
aku dipertemukan dengan manusia dan makhluk lain (kucing misalnya) yang menunjukkan ragam bentuk kasih sayang, diperjalankan melalui peristiwa-peristiwa yang membantu melembutkan hati—atau menunjukkan di bagian mana hatïku masih perlu dilembutkan; dan dititipkan pada sekolah-sekolah yang secara gamblang membimbingku untuk lebih berwelas asih, berserah, dan merayakan hidup dan keagungannya.
manusia sejatinya bisa berjalan sesuai fatwa hatinya; bisa tergerakkan oleh arahan jiwa (spirit)-nya; bisa hidup dengan lebih jujur minimal kepada diri sendiri. utopis? atau bisa jadi pemikiran bahwa hal ini utopis telah membatasi kita?
banyak yang ingin kuceritakan. bukan untuk mengajarkan, karena siapalah aku ini. namun, lebih ke berbagi. siapa tahu ada yang mengetuk hatimu, lalu kau mengetuk hatiku kembali. Sama-sama kita belajar menjadi manusia.
ingin bercerita, tetapi belum tahu bagaimana. kutaruh tulisan ini di sini sebagai langkah awal. atau, mungkin, kau punya cerita, kegelisahan, pertanyaan, atau ide yang bisa melanjutkkan pembicaraan ini?
terima kasih.
❣️
Thank you, dear friend. You’ve touched my heart many times, I hope I’ve at least once done as good as you.
Thanks for making room for me. Always.
Salaam.
Is there anyone
Before
&
After
Me
Leaving
Without permission?
None--
It is a consent that forms
Life,
A period where
You
&
I
Meet at a dot on a ring.
salam, dear shrine where heart and soul escort body to whisper all secrets
Kameyama Shrine
before cleaning – looked like birds loved to bathe and leave some feathers as token of gratitude
after cleaning – no one asked me to clean this, i just felt that i needed to give Japan a small token of gratitude and Kameyama Shrine be the one to receive it
always praying someday I can come back to that shrine. I will tell her that she did give me amazing vibe in my whole visit in Kameyama. Shrines, mosques, temples, churches and other places where human beings whisper their heart and soul out have always been a charm to me.
enso – there’s a dot where two extremes meet and form balance to ensure life flows
You are closely looked
Through a glass showing true hues.
Candid reflection--
every heart is mirror — find a clearest as a friend 💕
Walking a cross road,
Filling a crossword puzzle
With just a sweet wit
—
never hesitate to walk through a cross road where map is sometimes a second thought, the first is always what my heart says ❣️
This path is smooth,
Many have traveled on it.
A lot of hearts were here
Singing hopes through time.
When sun goes down,
This path is glowing.
Many souls were here
Whispering love through space.
Sun will rise again,
Another day will come.
This heart is here
Promising to grow with the flow.
This heart is deciding
Every step is counted
And dedicated to grow prettier,
Making the path smoother.
——
what’s broken can be amended and still beautiful
seeing how life is generous, I can fall in love with the same face again and again; yet when health is getting from bad to worse, I feel this heart is broken now and then
yet life is still generous, so I decide to fall in love everyday 💕
A best gift, my love
Knowing you seeing my heart.
Do you know my heart?
——
wooden comb is one best gift from myself to myself this year 😀
The bow that launches
Is the arrow that is shot:
An exhibit by the
One
That honour is inevitably
Gorgeous
For that
Respecting
From that
Witnessing.
Salute to the bowstring.
——
I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada — I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in you and all my fellow Tapa Brata participants 🙏🏼
it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree — hope health and calmness be granted to all of us ♥️
Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him — the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect
canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection
torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center — yummy and fragrant when cooked
💚
Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didn’t talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.
Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation — they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop “ngereog” in the last 5 to 10 minutes.
My age doesn’t mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.
See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! 💕
ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someone’s intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress 😂
Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) — Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata 😄
pure friendship is such a magical bond 💕
Strength isn’t your arms.
It’s your heart, singing anthem
To be a true self.
——
this fellow truly reminded me to keep the faith of being a true self 💕
Red in redroses
Overflowing to this heart,
As red as roses—
——
bright side
dim side
Sprinkles of petalS
Sway from the sky gracefully
Calling name of yours.
——
genji pie that shapes like heart or rose petal or whatever beautifully seen by eyes
genji pie, aside from the shape the taste is also good to me
genji pie has inspired me to love
About genji pie
This life’s pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.
——
a mosque in Tokyo — Tokyo Jamii (Camii)
entrance — assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii
mosque area – 2nd floor
i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it
the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines
a feeling of home 💕
then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking — she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me 😁 thank you 💕
time to fly home — thank you, Tokyo 💕
you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars
This heart blooms and blooms
Leaving quiet budding season,
Emerging from mud.
——
One of my friends complained why all my poems are about love, like I am either falling in love or broken hearted day by day.
After some time of chat and juice against wine glasses that friend answered one’s own question.
“Ya! Life is about loving: smoothly or broken-heartedly. Now I know what you mean. I thought all were about romance! Ahhh!”
I tried a sip of wine from that friend’s glass.
“You’ll get drunk more at home and write more love poems!” Said that friend laughing.
“Yes, I won’t give up this love whatever interpretation is thrown about me to me. I am thankful enough to have very few true friends who understand.”
Salaam.
true love is too tasteless for those weighing it with money; yet too complex for those weighing it with faith — for those not knowing the true secrets behind words, love is just a marriage between distrust and fear hidden in sparkling plastic 🙃 i know love is still beautiful whether it is well understood or misunderstood 💕
I love a girl
Within
Who excites
About life.
She naively says
Whatever
That is bitter
Or sweet.
Sometimes it hurts
However
She is worth loving,
No pretender.
This lovely girl
Furthermore
Is a loyal companion
No doubt.
——
We might look weak to some; we might look strong to the others. We might never look good to many. That’s not important.
The most important thing is we know there is honest part of us who will poke our sight again and again to keep us on the right track.
Love yourself first. 😀
Salaam.
Abby is so gorgeously naive; every one of us has one within 💕 don’t kill the child within 💕
In a bottle of perfume
You are the heart note.
In a cup of coffee
You are the acidity.
In a full course meal
You are the entree.
In a life of a human
You are the love.
——
stronger with YOU
My life is sugar cane
That I chew in summer day
Before singing.
My life is honeycomb
That I suck in rainy day
Before whistling.
My life is a bowl of ice cream
That I dig in on a quiet day
Before humming.
My life is sweetness of heart
That I choose
Before resting.
——
i wish to be back someday to enjoy it in summer 💕
With no white towel
I surrender
To the realm that hugs this heart.
I am water flowing
With no effort
To the ocean that waits for this mind.
How would this name
Say no to a call that sings love songs?
I submit everything
With a smile
And grace.
Body, mind, spirit and soul—
-
Jun 10, 2023
when the air taps my whole reality
with everything subtle and overwhelming
——
please excuse my strong arms 😀
after the Tapa Brata my classmates and I are still escorted to meditate everyday of 60 minutes for 90 days
it should be 36th day today but i only have 33 days in which i am able to do full meditation — in fact my doctor was quite surprised that unbelievable progress is indicated in better numbers from the laboratory test result after i meditate regularly — happy tears 🥹
my health is much better with calmness that is on track and harmonious thought that builds gradually
i’ve registered to next level Tapa Brata next Sep so i can get more benefits to help certain issues in this beloved aging body and to strengthen my mind
can’t wait to meet with the wise teachers who guide us and humble caretakers who help us with daily needs in Forest Island 🥰
i don’t know for sure what i can share from my achievement through meditation yet maybe someday i can help others reduce health complaints at low cost — i’ve always wanted to cure diseases with fragrance and herbs; my high intelligent friends said “pseudoscience, a crap wrapped in fancy paper”, i said “it doesn’t matter at least i can help them feel calmer and think positive”
all what happen in my life are like magic both the unexpected and expected — i hope my meditation brings more good magical celebrations to me and my beloved family and friends
and all…
May All Beings Be Happy
💕
…
Passed the crossroad;
Grasses are greener,
Flowers are prettier,
Breeze is thinner,
Morning is fresher,
Day is busier,
Night is calmer,
Birds are happier,
Cicadas are louder,
Fireflies are brighter,
No snake, no crocodile, no tiger.
Passers-by smile at each other
With neither pride nor prejudice.
End is farther,
It doesn’t matter.
It’s a low key path
After a detour from a glowing avenue.
She is humming the softest beauty with light breathing while celebrating the richness of abundant blessings.
No other ways are nicer.
——
Campuhan Ridge Walk 🥰
Looking forward to singing along with my favourite singers in Jazz Gunung Bromo soon!
Can’t wait! Can’t wait!
💝
not easy to fall in love, will not give love up easily either — life is too precious to hate even those who hate or disrespect me 💝 yet i do it my way
Standing in front of you,
I see love.
It is clearly reflected—
A face of mine smiling at itself.
When you look at this mirror,
What do you see?
I wish you know
You are love reflected by a clear mirror.
I wish you see
This water clearly reflects you,
A love that exudes fragrance.
—-
a pond behind Himeji Castle 🏯 i could breathe drizzles and pine freshness while seeing a school of fish swimming in clear water reflecting acceptance
My heart is leaping.
It opens its windows, breathes the joy.
It celebrates parties,
As invited by beauty that pops out out of life.
It claps hands.
It taps feet.
It dances love songs.
It sings “Ode to Joy”.
My heart is leaping.
It turns my sadness
To joyous moments,
Leaving tiny gap to
Contemplation and regret.
—-
do you see that breathing the pink fragrance 👁
camellia ~ symmetrical layers
sakura near castle boulders
pink sakura ~ hanging blessings
sakura tree ~ almost end of cherry blossoms
Every weekend
This heart multiplies.
They wander
Everywhere
Through music, pictures, poems and prayers
Sending peace
And love
That might not be
Returned.
What a sweet weekend!
—-
although you’ve targeted me with uncertainty, (pic: Banksy’s)
although you prefer war (pic: Banksy’s)
although you ignorantly hijack the love, (pic: Banksy’s)
sweet heart is still what you deserve,
no missile but beautiful heart should be sent to you (pic: Banksy’s)
freshened and showered with warm heart is your right
at the end a bunch of flowers will be thrown to you (pic: Banksy’s)
hahahaha…. i am always laughed by my best friends for constantly being “love sick” (pic: Banksy’s)
One by one they fall,
Petals decompose to soil,
Fertilising life—
—
It might not be clear
As the mirror is not clean.
Reflection of
You on me
Is as clear as the song sung by the breeze,
Whistling softly
On to these eardrums.
Swoosh!
You whisper,
I could hear,
We both share unvoiced laughter.
Is that our smiles
Or grins
That we both share from miles away?
You
Are playing so well,
I
Stay hugging this heart
That shrinks with
Your coldness,
That shines with
Your old shadow.
Dear, heart.
Stay flawless mirror.
With you I see
Beloved.
Be it beast or beauty,
My love is worth reflecting clearly.
—
Feathers fall off from the wings of flying-high birds. Dreams ready to catch—
—
rike jokanan 
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