graphs of my Universe
Sprinkles of petalS
Sway from the sky gracefully
Calling name of yours.
ββ
genji pie that shapes like heart or rose petal or whatever beautifully seen by eyes
genji pie, aside from the shape the taste is also good to me
genji pie has inspired me to love
About genji pie
This lifeβs pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.
ββ
a mosque in Tokyo β Tokyo Jamii (Camii)
entrance β assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii
mosque area – 2nd floor
i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it
the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines
a feeling of home π
then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking β she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me π thank you π
time to fly home β thank you, Tokyo π
you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars
This heart blooms and blooms
Leaving quiet budding season,
Emerging from mud.
ββ
One of my friends complained why all my poems are about love, like I am either falling in love or broken hearted day by day.
After some time of chat and juice against wine glasses that friend answered oneβs own question.
βYa! Life is about loving: smoothly or broken-heartedly. Now I know what you mean. I thought all were about romance! Ahhh!β
I tried a sip of wine from that friendβs glass.
βYouβll get drunk more at home and write more love poems!β Said that friend laughing.
βYes, I wonβt give up this love whatever interpretation is thrown about me to me. I am thankful enough to have very few true friends who understand.β
Salaam.
true love is too tasteless for those weighing it with money; yet too complex for those weighing it with faith β for those not knowing the true secrets behind words, love is just a marriage between distrust and fear hidden in sparkling plastic π i know love is still beautiful whether it is well understood or misunderstood π
I love a girl
Within
Who excites
About life.
She naively says
Whatever
That is bitter
Or sweet.
Sometimes it hurts
However
She is worth loving,
No pretender.
This lovely girl
Furthermore
Is a loyal companion
No doubt.
ββ
We might look weak to some; we might look strong to the others. We might never look good to many. Thatβs not important.
The most important thing is we know there is honest part of us who will poke our sight again and again to keep us on the right track.
Love yourself first. π
Salaam.
Abby is so gorgeously naive; every one of us has one within π donβt kill the child within π
In a bottle of perfume
You are the heart note.
In a cup of coffee
You are the acidity.
In a full course meal
You are the entree.
In a life of a human
You are the love.
ββ
stronger with YOU
My life is sugar cane
That I chew in summer day
Before singing.
My life is honeycomb
That I suck in rainy day
Before whistling.
My life is a bowl of ice cream
That I dig in on a quiet day
Before humming.
My life is sweetness of heart
That I choose
Before resting.
ββ
i wish to be back someday to enjoy it in summer π
With no white towel
I surrender
To the realm that hugs this heart.
I am water flowing
With no effort
To the ocean that waits for this mind.
How would this name
Say no to a call that sings love songs?
I submit everything
With a smile
And grace.
Body, mind, spirit and soulβ
-
Jun 10, 2023
when the air taps my whole reality
with everything subtle and overwhelming
ββ
please excuse my strong arms π
after the Tapa Brata my classmates and I are still escorted to meditate everyday of 60 minutes for 90 days
it should be 36th day today but i only have 33 days in which i am able to do full meditation β in fact my doctor was quite surprised that unbelievable progress is indicated in better numbers from the laboratory test result after i meditate regularly β happy tears π₯Ή
my health is much better with calmness that is on track and harmonious thought that builds gradually
iβve registered to next level Tapa Brata next Sep so i can get more benefits to help certain issues in this beloved aging body and to strengthen my mind
canβt wait to meet with the wise teachers who guide us and humble caretakers who help us with daily needs in Forest Island π₯°
i donβt know for sure what i can share from my achievement through meditation yet maybe someday i can help others reduce health complaints at low cost β iβve always wanted to cure diseases with fragrance and herbs; my high intelligent friends said βpseudoscience, a crap wrapped in fancy paperβ, i said βit doesnβt matter at least i can help them feel calmer and think positiveβ
all what happen in my life are like magic both the unexpected and expected β i hope my meditation brings more good magical celebrations to me and my beloved family and friends
and allβ¦
May All Beings Be Happy
π
β¦
Passed the crossroad;
Grasses are greener,
Flowers are prettier,
Breeze is thinner,
Morning is fresher,
Day is busier,
Night is calmer,
Birds are happier,
Cicadas are louder,
Fireflies are brighter,
No snake, no crocodile, no tiger.
Passers-by smile at each other
With neither pride nor prejudice.
End is farther,
It doesnβt matter.
Itβs a low key path
After a detour from a glowing avenue.
She is humming the softest beauty with light breathing while celebrating the richness of abundant blessings.
No other ways are nicer.
ββ
Campuhan Ridge Walk π₯°
Looking forward to singing along with my favourite singers in Jazz Gunung Bromo soon!
Canβt wait! Canβt wait!
π
not easy to fall in love, will not give love up easily either β life is too precious to hate even those who hate or disrespect me π yet i do it my way
Standing in front of you,
I see love.
It is clearly reflectedβ
A face of mine smiling at itself.
When you look at this mirror,
What do you see?
I wish you know
You are love reflected by a clear mirror.
I wish you see
This water clearly reflects you,
A love that exudes fragrance.
β-
a pond behind Himeji Castle π― i could breathe drizzles and pine freshness while seeing a school of fish swimming in clear water reflecting acceptance
My heart is leaping.
It opens its windows, breathes the joy.
It celebrates parties,
As invited by beauty that pops out out of life.
It claps hands.
It taps feet.
It dances love songs.
It sings βOde to Joyβ.
My heart is leaping.
It turns my sadness
To joyous moments,
Leaving tiny gap to
Contemplation and regret.
β-
do you see that breathing the pink fragrance π
camellia ~ symmetrical layers
sakura near castle boulders
pink sakura ~ hanging blessings
sakura tree ~ almost end of cherry blossoms
Every weekend
This heart multiplies.
They wander
Everywhere
Through music, pictures, poems and prayers
Sending peace
And love
That might not be
Returned.
What a sweet weekend!
β-
although youβve targeted me with uncertainty, (pic: Banksyβs)
although you prefer war (pic: Banksyβs)
although you ignorantly hijack the love, (pic: Banksyβs)
sweet heart is still what you deserve,
no missile but beautiful heart should be sent to you (pic: Banksyβs)
freshened and showered with warm heart is your right
at the end a bunch of flowers will be thrown to you (pic: Banksyβs)
hahahahaβ¦. i am always laughed by my best friends for constantly being βlove sickβ (pic: Banksyβs)
One by one they fall,
Petals decompose to soil,
Fertilising lifeβ
β
It might not be clear
As the mirror is not clean.
Reflection of
You on me
Is as clear as the song sung by the breeze,
Whistling softly
On to these eardrums.
Swoosh!
You whisper,
I could hear,
We both share unvoiced laughter.
Is that our smiles
Or grins
That we both share from miles away?
You
Are playing so well,
I
Stay hugging this heart
That shrinks with
Your coldness,
That shines with
Your old shadow.
Dear, heart.
Stay flawless mirror.
With you I see
Beloved.
Be it beast or beauty,
My love is worth reflecting clearly.
β
Feathers fall off from the wings of flying-high birds. Dreams ready to catchβ
β
This heart sings. Its notes witness through pitch and tempo. Genres of the soulβ
β
Keeping afloat, buoyant freely swaying playing the waves in the skyβ
β
A loving visit beyond time and space. Salaam. Universe answers.
β
Your eyes, Beloved
Drown me to a depth of soul
Where you hide nowhere.
β
This life is a library
Keeping all collections,
Reference to public,
Exclusive to a lover,
One lover.
The
Belovedβ
Read,
Beloved
Any scrolls
In this library.
Read,
Lover
The diaries
In the secret dungeon.
Read,
Beloved
With naked eyes, or
With any glasses on the shelves.
Read,
Lover
Through letters and numbers,
Shapes and colours.
Read,
Beloved
This library is open
As long as you are awake.
Read,
Lover
Before you sleep
When Iβll be reading you through.
β
About the photo
The wings are flapping sprinkling blessings through the air. Breathe them. Be blissful.
β
In Arabic angel is called malaaikatun or malaaikah or simply malaaikat (Ψ§ΩΩΩ ΩΩΩ°ΩΨ¦ΩΩΩΨ©Ω) literally meaning βpower that governsβ. In Islamic tradition the βpower that governsβ are grouped based on what type of assigned power they govern that are many and one of them is βpower to govern protectionβ.
I always believe I am fully protected through the existence of the angels surrounding me although I am not interested to discuss about their form; people say angels have wings, others say they are made from light, some say malaaikah are systemic laws to run the universe, and so on and so forth. It doesnβt matter to me. That they exist and follow the assigned βpower to governβ is enough for me.
Only when we listen, we will hear. We will hear the songs of the angels, the songs of universe, the songs of the heart, the songs of the soul. I prefer my angels to sing jazzy songs in this end of long weekend. π
Listening to heartβ¦. π
Salaam.
Heart should be as light as a swaying feather to enjoy life with only feel good no matter what.
In Javanese someone with heavy heart is called mbentoyong which literally means βbent and almost broken by the heavy loadsβ, it is associated with a tree whose branches are bent and almost broken because of heavy loads of ripened fruitsβ. This kind of person will not find happiness and joy in any point of oneβs life; one will misunderstand alone with loneliness and so one will always find refuge among crowd; one is confused about oneβs self; one will always refer to what others say about one as if their opinions are more important than oneβs own. As long as one is not willing to unload the unnecessary burdens in heart, one will always be mbentoyong better and better and finally be a master of mbentoyong.
It is heavy. I know it is heavy. It is painful. I know it is painful. Be cured, dear heavy hearts whenever you feel heavy. Lightness of heart is a comfort even in discomfort. π₯°
I bless this heart which is light and swaying with the flow of clean river inside. Calm and witty and fun! Thank you for the feel good no matter what. Not easy but doableβ
Salaam.
π
Hey, Cat. You smile cute, calming the mood. Wave to me. I am wholly yours.
Hey, Moon. You shine bright, showering the night. Greet me. My paws are all yours.
β
A stroke of a brush is how universe started. A surprise that lastsβ
β
Certain friend is good at the same time destroyer of mood. I have one who can leave meβouch ouch ouch oooouuuuchβ for at least one week. This person loves ouching friends as an ice breaker but to some of us he has made it to the next level. This time he ouched me romantically, the worst of all my ouch experience from him. Call one βouch callerβ.
OC: Ready for a forced holiday? Have fun! Donβt work every night, just every two nights.
Me: (1st ouch) Hmmm ok, Sir.
β¦. Blah blah blah
OC: How is your romance? Get rid of him. He doesnβt even care about you. Donβt be stupid. You are not a door mat.
Me: (2nd ouch)
OC: What type of man do you want? Am I not good enough?
Me: (3rd ouch, but I have to say something) Hey, hey! Not a good time to talk about romance. Painting here and donβt want to lose vibe in the head.
OC: Tell me then. Handsome? Healthy? Rich? Hard working? I⦠Am⦠Everything!
Me: (Laughing like crazy as this person was very right about himself) Are you a sales person of your own product?
OC: Yes! And Iβve been selling my quality to you for the past how long with no buy in. Youβre getting older and older.
Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH) Ok, ok. I have to explain. I want someone whom I can be comfortable being with even when both of us donβt like the same things. Can you, Mr Cruel Oucher?
OC: What! Of course not! When I go to party, you have to go to party with me. When I go to the gym, you have to go with me. When I cook, you have to cook all what I want. Blah blah blahβ¦. You have to do what I like to do! If necessary you should give up what you like to like what I like.
Me: (Still couldnβt stop laughing) You are not. You are not that right person. You are just my ouch person.
OC: Is he still that person?
Me: Yes.
The next is the most ouched one but probably the most accurate to describe a fact.
OC: Then you have thin hope, thin chance. Not compatible. You donβt even know how to party. You donβt even know how to drink except that weak wine. You donβt even know how to flirt. He might not like reading. He might not like art and literature and walking. He might not like biking. He might hate you singing. He might hate you writing. He might hate you touching your hair again and again. You are not his physical type of beauty. He might hate you with your job. He might hate you being honest and independent. He just doesnβt like you as you. Oh! So relief I could say all these finally.
Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH OOOOUUUUCH and this will last long) Youβre right. Very right. Time to stop your ouches, Sir.
OC: Then you still say no to me?
Me: (Mild ouch but I got impatient) You? I canβt tolerate a die hard nerd like you. You cook better than women. You manage money too well; you are stingy! You love your nephews and nieces more than anyone else, you wonβt care about me. You work too hard. You eat too much healthy food, I love deep fried. You ouch people too much. Listen. Donβt call me just to ouch me.
OC: Ok, ok. How are you?
Me: Fine.
OC: Broken heart still?
Me: (ouch) Not really, just a bruise and scratch. Will get over it soon.
OC: It will be gone. For you not too soon though because you are not intelligent in romance. Be patient with yourself. (He was calming and that is when everyone likes him, a calm nice guy β unfortunately came too late after too many ouches happened.) Describe how you think about that person and letβs start the real conversation of today.
Me: My universe
OC: I want to throw up! You imagine him as a Chris Martin? Hahaha!
Me: Never heard of him singing hahaha!
Then we started to chat without ouches for almost two hours β a very nice two hours. A good friend to me is that who ouches me but still makes me comfortable with her/his genuineness.
Thank you! π€
Disclaimer: blogged with this ouch callerβs consent with one condition βno exaggerationβ which is not accepted like he never said βI want to throw upβ and never said that he is handsome and rich although he is rich but not handsome π
See this pendulum
Swinging between two far poles
Knowing each otherβ
β
Someone called me and asked if we could have a dinner. We hadnβt met for many years. Knowing this person was in Singapore, I excitedly agreed to meet. Meeting this person, I was given a shock. This person looked weary and older than oneβs age. The excellent appearance and posture was totally gone. That time I felt so blessed for for being me.
Me: I am not a marriage advisor, dear. Not even ever married yet! (Thatβs after a very long ranting from the friend stopped).
SO: But I know you are the most suitable one I can talk to.
Me: Ohβ¦. (damn wrong, whispered to myself)
SO: β¦. A broken marriageβ¦ !@#$%^&*()_+=-::β<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?
Me: Ohβ¦. (proven wrong talking to me, whispered to myself)
SO: β¦. Divorce is painfulβ¦. !@#$%^&*()_+=-::β<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?
Me: Ohβ¦. Ummm (starting to show sympathy) I understand how you feel in this situation. Must be painful. Your own stress, the other oneβs stress, your children, other peopleβs impression and words about you, your workβ¦.. Everything seems not at your side. I can understand you feel unwanted, useless, bad, irresponsible. Yet decision was made. You just should face it. How? Not sure if my word is reasonable and responsible but I think you just need to keep being you: working as before, doing activities that are still accessible, talking to your children like before, talking to your ex about the childrenβ¦.
SO: You donβt know! It is not that easy!
Me: Ohβ¦. I am so sorry. I might not fully understand it is not that easy. I am so sorry for my ignorance. (told ya I am not the right person, whispered to myself)
SO: How would you survive alone all this time? You seem so happy with your life. Sometimes I regret for getting married too young. Look at you and X and Y and Z. All the singles are happy.
Me: (Oh! A sudden death! I know this would come but too soon, too soon. Let me find the right words. Whispered again to myself ) Ummmβ¦. I think it is not that easy tooβ¦. Ummmβ¦. I am happy, yes. Not always, but most of the time I am. Yet I also probably started hard.
SO: You donβt seem ever in hard time.
Me: Thatβs what you see. !@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&%%%%%%%%%%%%%.
SO: So do you think I can survive?
Me: Of course. Although our problem is not the same, I am sure you can. Donβt underestimate your ability to cope with the hardship of life. You are stronger than you think. You just donβt know it yet.
SO: You really donβt want to get married?
Me: (This question I never like, never like, never like; whispered to myself, but need to find the best words that wonβt cause any further question.) This is out of context; you should not ask me this question. Not that I donβt want. Itβs just about time.
SO: Do you fall in love?
Me: Ok, now you are asking me question about me.
SO: I feel good when knowing I am not alone.
Me: (Make sense, but why me oh my God!) Ok. Ok. I can make you feel better. Yes I fall in love and break my heart. And I donβt want to break my heart again.
SO: So you donβt want to fall in love again?
Me: Of course not like that. I fall in love again and again.
SO: With whom?
Me: With my eyes. With my lips. With my hair. With my morning. With my job. With myβ¦. (I saw the person got annoyed but I continued with more things) Hahahaβ¦.
SO: Is it that easy?
Me: Nothing is easy automatically. It takes practice and time.
SO: What if I donβt get married again in the future?
Me: Thatβs too far away. Think about what you can do today.
SO: Do you think I still have a chance to get married?
Me: Of course if you want! Just find the right person.
SO: How can I find it? How?
Me: (Oh my God, help me before I can help others. Whispered to myself while finding the best words for this troubled person; even an intelligent person can be as dumb as this in oneβs bad time) Hey, hey! If I know how to get the right person, I would have been married much earlier. This question is irrelevant.
SO: Hahahaβ¦β¦! Sorry, sorry! Hahahaβ¦β¦..!
Me: (Ok, at least I made you happy, whispered to myself. Mostly smiling among listening to the ranting, I enjoyed a perfect night β no rain, enough breezeβ¦. Hours can feel like minutesβ¦. On and on and on and on until midnight. Whispered to myself.) Cinderella has to go home, my friend. Or else, she will be back to be Cendrillon.
SO: I feel so much better. It feels like I find myself again. Maybe I was too preoccupied with not important things that I thought I lost the person I had known so long, myself.
Me: I might be like that in the same situation, maybe worse.
SO: Thank you very much.
Me: (I didnβt do anything. Just sat down and listened and responded to you. Whispered to myself for how many times heaven knows) The least I can do. It is good to meet long lost friend. Welcome back.
Dear friend, I know youβll read this with a smile. Get better. See you some day. When meeting me again, make sure you look nicer.
Lesson learnt: Be patient with those facing fresh-from-the-oven problem. Donβt judge. Be a good listener. Donβt try to be a perfect advisor because you are not. Be yourself. Donβt get offended, someone in trouble may unintentionally disturb you.
She hums rhythms that no one can enjoy
But those hearing the thin breeze
In the falling dusk.
She recites rhymes that no one can feel
But those touching beads of dew
In the brightening dawn.
Not sending wishes anymore
As whispering is louder in her own ears.
Intention might be misunderstood.
Not delivering messages anymore to you
As journaling is clearer to her own mind.
Linguistic might be multi-interpreted.
She sings love songs sweetly
To re-orchestrate in many genres with the paradise green birds
She keeps safe gently in heart.
She rewinds her heart slowly
To become millions of forever notes turning into eternal air
She meditates sacredly in silence.
How beautiful love is with love songs
Unheard!
β
Smile, Beloved, smile.
Itβs a luxurious gift
For you and for me.
β
I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.
Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. π
Thank you!
π
My love is mostly dumb, stubborn, too thin to see, and makes you hate me.
My luck is often loud, sudden, too huge to miss, and makes me love you.
Iβm not a gambler, yet think youβre a dice rolling numbers for a prize.
β
Two love birds singing
In a cage full of good food.
A choice to a loveβ
β
Love isβ¦. ?
Love isβ¦. ?
Love isβ¦. ?
Damn! I canβt define it except that it is sometimes misunderstood with lust.
That it is often symbolised with a heart shape. Maybe most human beings believe love comes from the heart. Hey! Is that really the shape of a heart? Or just how we agree that it is a shape of the heart?
That it is discussed everywhere but also wasted everywhere.
What I believe love is a verb not a noun so without action, it is muted sooner or later. At the same time love is an energy that cannot be created or destroyed so it is there and will be there, yet it can transform and/or transfer between subjects. Compatibility (chemistry), heat (intensity), motion (intension), what else can change the form of love? (oops forgetting all the physics learnt when younger)β¦. Anyway, it transforms and transfers (circulates can be another word) between (or among if circulated) human beings. So, accept it.
I believe love is about interest that human being cannot select voluntarily. It is a blessing at the same time a curse. it can be love between two love birds inseparable, or Tom and Jerry entertainingly cruel for either of two, or as cold as Antarctica.
I believe love is the core power generator of life that if removed, life will disappear. Never give up love. Broken heart is just a milestone that brings a human being to deeper and deeper understanding about him/herself. Broken because of a crush? Broken because of family? Broken because of friendship? Broken because of work? Broken because of world reality? A human being can always fix it gradually with anger, disappointment then acceptance. Just donβt be broken because of yourself – you are the most precious for yourself.
I believe that the way someone loves evolves through time, and it will suit the personβs intention never not. There should not be regret of what has happened because of love. Yet it is a regret that some people still choose to constantly send covert or overt humiliation and torture to hurt intentionally and/or to disrespect further to those they donβt love, while the best way should be forgiving or clearly declaring clear disagreement. War is one of them. Yet liked or not, that is the evolution of loving.
This weekend comes with a basket full of lessons learnt, a heap of ideas to pour as blessings in writings that I can re-read someday in the future.
Thank you, Love. You are never wasted.
Alfatihah to all whom I love.
Manusia mengembarai langit
Manusia menyusuri cakrawala
Tidak untuk menguasainya
Melainkan untuk menguji dirinya
Apakah dia bertahan menjadi manusia,
Tidak untuk hebat kuasa atau perkasa
Melainkan untuk setia sebagai manusia.
(Emha Ainun Nadjib)
β
Good morning, Surabaya. You did a lot of moulding to this human being. Thank you!!! π
rike jokanan 
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