When clock slows down its intensity,
Bring me a cup of tea
With which imagination
Grows wild silently
And another cup
With which the Twin Towers
Are swallowed by dark night.
This cup of tea
Has freed me.
—

one more won’t harm me ❣️
graphs of my Universe
When clock slows down its intensity,
Bring me a cup of tea
With which imagination
Grows wild silently
And another cup
With which the Twin Towers
Are swallowed by dark night.
This cup of tea
Has freed me.
—

one more won’t harm me ❣️
(regularly updated for accuracy)
The way we see beauty shows how we perceive life in general. There’s no rigid standard of beauty. Each person votes beauty based on the culture nurturing him/her. The culture formulate beauty through space and time and unsensed dimensions with which it evolves and grows through the history of humankind.
To a female best friend a beautiful man can only be postulated through a man named Nicholas Saputra. To another a beautiful man is Keanu Reeves–this one I agree 😎. To another Jeremy Renner. To me a beautiful man can be as acceptable as a humble man is kind-hearted, responsible and healthy.
To a male best friend a handsome woman can only be described through a slim lady with flawless porceline skin and red lips like those modified ones from Korea. To another one a handsome woman is a Sandra Bullock. To another one is Rihanna. To else she can be anyone who is willing to accept their men the way they are.
In China, Africa, Europe, Java, Pacific definitions of beauty can be poles apart. Big eyes, round eyes, almond shaped, slanted…. Full lips, thin, thick, wide, heart-shaped…. XS clothing size, S, M, L, XL, XXL, plus size…. Straight hair, wavy, curly…. Etc, etc, etc…. Those physical descriptions identifying human body are blessings to some, curse for others; depending on how the bearers perceive beauty.
Ladies, you are all beautiful the way you are when your heart blooms genuinely. That’s what I always tell my nieces. And to my nephews I always say you are handsome and becomes super handsome with kind heart. Physical beauty will only be an empty box wrapped in fancy paper, no gift inside, no meaning but a space of living. Well-taken-care-of plain beauty with kind heart is a box of surprising precious gift well wrapped in clean paper.
Which one should we want? Any! No right or wrong. Yet to me –an-almost-half-century-lady– kind heart in a plain beauty is so much appreciated!!! Nothing compares to good heart in humble beauty.
😊
To dear nieces and nephews:
I love you. Be the light to your own darkness with healthy body and good heart.
Your senses are not only to catch what’s physical. Sense beyond! Beauty truly lies in a hidden heart.
❣️
this might be the only Coldplay’s song that I can listen to the whole day non-stop except low-batt ♥️ a biutyful alien I am!
💕
Dear
Young heart,
Fly to the moon and back
To the green meadow, humming.
Dear
Old body,
Bury me where banyan seeds sprout
Reaching out to sky, breathing.
Dear
Ancient soul,
Free me from any shape
So I can be alive anywhere you sow me.
—
I went to a small civilized** farewell party for a friend in KL, Malaysia, taking selfie before crazily singing in Red Box karaoke.
Life is short, be kind….
Or….. Just take a selfie.
❣️
Salam.
** civilized to me means NO FREE SEX, NO DRUGS, NO ALCOHOL ♥️

just take selfie when you’re feeling good

take selfie when you’re not in the mood

take selfie although people think it’s weird yet you’re nartistically free and freely glee
Anger, Beloved
Swirling stream drawning what flow,
Demolishing luck--
—
Anger can bring unluck, now I believe that.
I was furious because some people made unnecessary mistakes. Although mistake is mistake that can be fixed but covering up is another level of mistake making a mistake not just a mistake. I can never accept when people are not well treated, not well protected, ignored, disrespected.

anger is maelstrom
I still could not get rid of the patches of anger even after some hours. No sleep cured it. No food did. No nothing. I felt my body tremble whenever thinking of how those mistakes were made and so on and so forth.
This very morning I realised that my anger didn’t bring good things. It brought me heat in head, unclear thought and unlucky events. And the unlucky events were the worst as I’ve always been feeling lucky in my life.
Look what happened to me….
I queued behind a lady who failed scanning her fingerprints and facial recognition in the immigration autogate that made the waiting too long for such a sophisticated system. My Malaysia Digital Arrival Card submission failed 4 times today. My passport identification page got folded. My automatic bagagge check-in failed, with a bonus of bitter sour unfriendly female airline assistant treating my passport like a trash.
Please forgive me, dear self. Those mistakes do not belong to you and you are not responsible to bear any cost; they are those people’s, let them deal with any consequences possible.
I feel lucky.
Feel lucky.
Lucky!
None ever knows why,
All happen through unknown plan
Swarming around light
Celebrating unknown-ness
Night after night with no end.
—

kind of amazed that Daniel Goleman is into meditation 🤯
I bring souvenirs
Wrapped in a pouch made with love
For you who's waited.
This pouch might be forgotten,
The fragrance's always missed.
—

a batik pouch to wrap an oleh-oleh for a friend — all is handmade by me, done in about 4 hours; no sewing machine, only a pair of sciccors, a ruler, thread and needle

tell me what makes us meditate better than doing things with love

the body part is cut from printed batik “Truntum”

the round base is cut from printed batik “Wahyu Tumurun” using a stainless-steel bowl as the pattern

the waste including some Hansaplast to close some small cut on my finger
About oleh-oleh
There’s much ado
About what’s not done.
Shakespeare said that’s nothing.
There’s much ado
About what’s promised.
I said that’s nothing.
—

4th day of Ramadhan 💗 nothing but so much smile at my own cookings
All cracks in the stone
Show what is glowing inside.
Light in the darkness—
—

2nd day of Ramadhan – craving another one that is not shown through a photo 😁
How full are you, Love?
Leave a space where air can move
And water can flow.
—
It is Ramadhan 1, I started my 30-day fasting.
Fasting is not a new or foreign to my family. My parents consider it a sacred practice in their life. My oldest sister does fast every two days. Intermitten fasting is never a new thing for us. We are Javanese, we fast both as a spiritual sanctuary and mental exercise.
When we talk about fasting in Javanese tradition, it is not always like the Islamic fasting (not eating, not drinking, not smoking, not having sex on the daylight). Fasting or pasa or poso in Javanese is managing what is in and out through all doors of senses in our body. It can be simply by choosing what to eat, when to eat, how to eat.
In old days Javanese did many different types of fasting and so they name those types of fasting differently.
Mutih (derived from the word putih or white in Javanese) is when they only eat rice and drink water. They won’t be consuming anything with tastes: sweet, salty, sour, bitter, gurih, etc.
Ngidang (derived from the word kidang or deer in Javanese) is when they only consume leafy vegetables and water, and no other things.
Ngrowot (derived from the word krowot that means “no rice” in Javanese) in when they will not consume rice and any product of any kind of rice).
Etc….
For this Ramadhan I decided to do ngrowot. It means I will not consume any rice and any product of rice crom dawn to dusk, from day 1 until end of Ramadhan. I want to know how good I am pushing myself through “hunger”.
Bismillah!
Yes, I can.

💕
my first day of “Ramadhan Ngrowot” breakfast
😁
There is pain
And patience
In endurance,
A chemical compound
That swims in blue skies,
Gets sprinkled down to a pool
Where Superman
Is endured.
—

i met Sam who swam for 20 laps of 50-meter long pool today – she swam without stopping at all, while i stopped in the middle just because a leaf poked my goggles
Sam was 65 and she said she also started like me (not consistently moving, she even said she preferred the small pool of 25-meter long near my block) – sixtyfiiivvveee!!!
she said she pushed herself past several years before finally enjoying the 50-meter long lap with no stop back and forth for one hour
see you in two days, Sam! thanks for inspiring me with your humbleness and endurance 💕
What makes you pretty
Is the smile
That is pulled
From two extremes,
Left and right.
The extremes make you pretty.
Oh, Dear!
You're extremely pretty.
—

extremely pretty 💕
I don't own this body
I don't own this heart
I don't own this soul
I don't own this life
I owe
You.
Yet do
You know that
You owe me, too?
All these limited experiences that imprison
You belong to me.
All in all
I belong to
You.
—

some part of me is a monk, some part is a bitch and that fact makes me perfect of being a human
💕
(picture from Pinterest)
Care comes from nowhere
Free of charge in a white bag
Called good heart.
—

coming home from office today, i found a white bag from no name — without opening it i knew it was sukun (breadfruit) from Aunty Goh, the kind lady
thank you❣️
With all the limitation some people are still willing to share. This touches my very heart.
Ramadhan (Islamic fasting month) is coming soon. Although sharing is not necessarily done only in Ramadhan, yet doing it in a month when I subdue more physical desire will expose myself to more meanings of life– hopefully. Sharing starts with Aunty Goh and the gang!
Please allow me, dear Aunty Goj to cook a simple dish for you this week.
Salaam.
❣️
Living is breathing.
A quest of in and out air
To define meaning
—

breathing day for some of my beautiful batik, the Javanese exhibition of wisdom
One of treatments to handmade batik is letting them breath or in Javanese language we call it “angin-angin” that is literally “wind-wind” — hanging batik clothes in fresh air, not directly under the sun to let them be in contact with air to decrease the humidity.
Enjoy your breathing.
❣️
I am soaring
Like a kite
Finding its balance
Through moving air.
This kite is a rhombus
Proven mathematically,
Tested naturally,
Crafted beautifully.
You are flying
Like a kite
Decorating the sky
With rich hues.
That kite is a bird
Coloured green and white,
Singing sweet and mild,
Shining keen and bright.
—

batik sido luhur, pethak
Sido Luhur is one of classic series of “batik sido” i.e.: Sido Luhur, Sido Asih, Sido Mukti, Sido Mulyo and Sido Drajat.
Batik Sido Luhur pattern is the closest to the Sido Mukti one.
This pattern was composed by Ki Ageng Henis, the grandfather of Mataram Kingdom founder, Panembahan Senopati.
Batik Sido Luhur is composed of adjacent rhombus with various ornaments in each of the rhombus such as building, temple, butterfly, bird, lar gurdho (one wing of Javanese eagle), flowers and shells.
Batik Sido Luhur can be dyed with white (pethak) black (cemeng) or orangy brown (sogan) as background.
Sido Luhur is literally comprising 2 Javanese words: the word sido that means to be or to become, and luhur that means noble, honor and dignity.
As a norm in Javanese tradition: what you wear (especially in important occasion or function) is an exhibition of wish and pray. Batik Sido Luhur is meant as a wish and pray for those wearing it to be granted honourable heart and good role model for others around.
Batik Sido Luhur batik is often put on the bride in the night of midodareni (one night before wedding ceremony) also as a form of prayer and a hope that she be healthy and become a wife of honor and dignity.
Batik Sido Luhur is also put on the mother-to-be during tingkeban or mitoni ceremony (traditional ceremony when a mother-to-be enters the 7th month of pregnancy).
I just got a pair of Sido Luhur in white and am willing to own one pair in black and one pair in sogan.
I just got a thought of seriously becoming a batik curator. What a sweet dream!
💕
Many shorter distances
To reach a destination,
Diagonally.
Yet I take one of further ways
And so I see
That the longest journey
Is adorned with
The rich jungles,
The clean lakes,
The wide deserts,
The deep seas
Under windy light rain
To reach home
Whose door looking out
To a beautiful scenery.
—

batik sogan udan liris kupu by Ibu Tien Wartinah
Udan Liris (udan = rain, liris = light; udan liris = light rain or drizzle; Javanese) is a diagonal pattern of traditional Javanese batik. It resembles the light rain that comes down diagonally by the wind.
Kupu is butterfly in Javanese. It symbolises transformation– potential to realization.
Super life, dear love
Celebrating all senses,
Diving to the deep--
—

gulai jantung pisang & tempe

in process

jantung pisang 💕 the potential of super life, banana tree — banana tree will naturally die after it gives fruit!
I'm a star
Dying.
I'm the star
Most brightly glaring.
—

supernova
What war do you prefer?
War where I win against
My own self
To be
With
You.
—

this batik-in-process is about the epic Bharatayudha, the war between Pandawa and Kurawa
my beloved batik maestro “Ibu Tien Wartinah” is committed to complete it this year
Mbak Izzah (Ibu Tien’s daughter in law who is also a batik maker) and me with the “Gringsing Bharatayudha”
gringsing is a type of batik, one of my favourite
About Bharatayudha
About grinsing
There's a time, my dear
You cherish with sweet breathing.
Winning against self--
—
i used to be very harsh to myself until 2019 when two doctors made me realise that taking care of my body is as important as taking care of my spirit and mental
i started expressing myself more freely and genuinely, less drama, no excuse to stop me from being calm and confident, accepting me the way me is, unlearning old knowledge, learning new knowledge, opening my heart to all possible layers of truth and beauty
now i believe i am one of this world champions seeing how well i coped with my own self until i can feel so comfortable again back to my me
…. now i won’t let those playing around with me for their own fun in to my life as my life is not only a span of fun free time yet it is a span of fun dedicating time
thank you all for being you even with just a brief existence here now in this short journey
💕
When the road meets its end,
I wish
That this heart is letting go,
These steps are finished
So this soul flies in joy
To
You.
I want a pillow
That is white,
Soft,
Strong,
Wise
From
You.
My time will adjust to
Yours
That is as fast as light,
As fluid as water,
As peaceful as a night
With
You.
—

♥️
Chosen, Beloved,
One yes after lots of no.
Where can I find one?
—

voted for president and legislation today in the Embassy of Republic of Indonesia – well done!
How do you feel loved?
Not so much effort,
It's just a smile,
Or a cuddle from a dog.
I'm loved,
I'm loved
Just because
Life loves,
Love lives
Here
Now.
—

before going back to Singapore, i visited my friend in Lod Tunduh – she has 2 dogs and both love me so much, wherever i sit, both will sneak around like this!
Nicely soaked in love
With flowing sweet intension
In a good morning
—

soaked in water in this Bali morning (7am) – a standing phone helped capture a moment nicely ♥️

jineng that becomes a gazebo at the pool; jineng is originally Balinese rice storage house
Angel, Beloved
Wraps me with hundreds of wings,
Showers me with light.
—

Angel Moon and Chris under confetti

Chris, Angel Moon and the person behind her
both pictures sent by a friend watching Coldplay from Rajamangala National Stadium, Bangkok – thank you❣️
Feeling, Beloved
Wraps a soul in ecstacy,
A heart in jollies
—

working from remote in Bali feels perfectly energetic to fully contribute to team ♥️ at the same time feels home
i need to renew my passport (changing it to e-passport) and so i can only do it in Indonesia — Bali it is
e-passport was done yesterday at ~3pm and now i continue working from this small Balinese bedroom until end of this week
The small is
Hugely
Building me
Strong and
Sweet.
This that
I will embrace
To the
End.
—
This book is one of best reads in my life. If I am to write a book, it should feel this way. True, light and meaningful–
Life cannot be truer, lighter and more meaningful to me now.
Thank you!

one of books that make me fall in love with the you in me❣️ i am to write a review of it ♥️
Coincidently waking up
With light breath
And open eyes
In a good morning
That calls for
Another day.
Some don't know the feel
And it's just a coincidence
For me?
How fair life is!
How unfair life is!
Be blessed, dear.
Be blessed everyday
With the blessings
That come from
Every other way.
—
That coincidence often comes as blessings might have been ingrained in me, even more.
One Coldplay-big-fan friend said to me some time ago “If you have spare ticket for Coldplay in Singapore, please sell it to me.” He really wanted to watch Coldplay in many different places. Seems to him Coldplay has brought in a lot of good meanings into his life. Not denying this possibility, I have to admit the lyrics are powerful for those wanting to look deep in to their own selves.
I said “I will but it is a very thin chance knowing this band has tremendously massive lovers.”
Sorry, friend….
Yet one fine day in January one good friend from Jakarta texted me asking if he can let me buy two Jan 30’s Coldplay show tickets as he was “suddenly” assigned for a biz trip and would not make it to be in Singapore for the show. What a blow! This friend and his wife would have met me before or after the show so I was kind of upset to hear the news. Yet at the same time I remembered that one friend would be super excited to buy the tickets.
What a coincidence!
Long story short the Coldplay-big-fan friend agreed to buy two. He wanted to watch with his friend this time.
Some time after he agreed, he texted me again saying that his friend could not fly in for the show. Honestly I felt it was another coincidence as I was also thinking of going again – I found listening to “Biutyful” live was addictive to me. So, I asked if it was ok for me to buy the other ticket: Coincidently he agreed; he must have really wanted to watch with his special friend yet he welcomed me nicely.

excited in my 3rd watch! more? no, no, it was the last for the “Music of The Spheres World Tour”, now time to enjoy them back in Apple Music 😃
So, this time we watched from above. A very stunning view with all the well-arranged illumination and performance.
Another coincidence. My friend and I didn’t say anything about which tee to wear yet both of us happened to wear the same one: Coldplay 2023 Tokyo special edition design. Wow!

We both went crazy blended with others who were as crazy as us. I don’t know when I will meet him again after the show but I truly thank him for giving me a lesson that someone can love something (in his case a band) that he is capable of explaining almost all fun facts about the band that I didn’t even think exist. Memorizing all songs’ lyrics, knowing albums and EP contents, and so on and so forth! Thank you, KM-san! God bless you. 🙏🏼
I asked him how he could memorise all lyrics. His answer was annoyingly true “If you love something, you will remember.” Damn! I just realized forgetful is my middle name especially when dealing with passwords and where I put small stuff. 😂
Jan 31 was another merry day. My niece watched with her best friend and they stayed overnight in my home after that. Her friend is a journalist who knows how to access “Kampung Badui Kanekes” that I have dreamed of visiting. To my excitement he agreed to escort me to visit the unique ethnic group in Banten anytime I want to go. ♥️
Should I underestimate a coincidence? Or, actually there is no that that we call coincidence. It is just a lesson that we never clearly see and (hopefully) later will be well learnt.
Thank You!!!!

among all this is my favourite photo – Angel Moon❣️ BIUTYFUL!!!
favourite of mine ♥️
My second Coldplay show watching after Tokyo Dome.
This time I went with my best friend (who was with me in Tokyo Dome) and my brother’s sons who became our body guards.
So happy I am alive at the same time with you. So happy you’re alive!

Jan 27, 2024 – Singapore National Stadium
Those who never get drunk
Of love
Will misunderstand it.
Lust and love
Are coal and diamond.
One is clear around a lady's finger.
One is dark in a lady's fireplace.
Which of which, Beloved
Is precious?
Either
In different dimensions.
—

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