Lover, Beloved, With whom air and joy is shared, By whom tears soon dried—
—
Being excited about solo travel wished in near future has made me remember places visited alone years ago. One of them is Madrid. Exciting one! Also ridiculous one! This trip was where I had: Korean food for lunch (my hunger came earlier, while people in Madrid have lunch at around 2pm so the most recommended Madrid restaurant was not open yet), Chinese silk bought (order from my beautiful best friend who was craving for it), lapis lazuli earring studs purchased for €80 (found them only S$40 in Lucky Plaza, might be only IDR300,000 in Jakarta), walking around the same street 4 times to find one place that was shown very clearly in Google Map…. I was lost in mind because of too many handsome faces on the road 😂
Madrid though won’t be a city I will go alone anymore. This place is too romantic to go without a lover.
One more thing, be careful of pickpockets! Too many, too many!
Salaam. 💝
I still believe I saw Cristiano Ronaldo in Starbucks there but none of my friends believe me 😆
Journey, Beloved, Lost in the crowd, finding self. Walk to the next gate.
—
Try solo travel and identify the emerging emotions from one place to another. It’s great to experience different feelings responding to new people and different culture.
It’s not about how many countries have been explored. It’s about how much this self can stretch herself through the need of adaptation and flexibility alone. Not easy but doable—
What’s the next destination of her solo travel? Wherever, soon please.
💝
you know where it is – look at the phone box carefully and a culture is seen there 🔥
I’m lost, Beloved. This maze takes me a hostage I need to grow wings.
—
You might feel lost yet don’t get lazed. Open your eyes. This is not that maze maze. It is just an abandoned garden where trees are growing high touching the sky blocking the sun ray, grasses are growing wild covering the paths disguising directions. Look! There is something blinking from afar. Follow it, it might be a star. Or at least there is something moving you out of where you are.
Firstly open eyes! Your cat is getting impatient to go for adventure. Don’t let it leave you. This cat is a precious traveling companion indeed.
WAKE UP!!!
💝
the cat is reading the mind of fellow traveler whose eyelids have imprisoned one from a pretty autumn – wake up! live this dream! 💝
Your name, Beloved: Air blanketing fragrant space, Soil firming the stance—
—
Shakespeare said “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.”
He isn’t wrong. Yet he isn’t always right.
I call a name when rain is sweetly pouring down, call another name when day is scorching too bright and hot….
Why is it easier to call your name than my own? Is your name so strongly rooted that only it I can remember when it rains? Is it your name or is it you that stays with me?
Oh you….
Oh your name….
Salaam.
is the flying butterfly not anymore the caterpillar greedily eating before sleeping? am I still the un-named baby born by my mother? 💗
The depth of silence is As deep As ocean of possibilities. Shaken, the ocean will splash Drops of gifts.
Time once revealed When the gifts will appear. It once said There is a moment in time.
Space once revealed Where the gifts will arrive. It once said There is a point in space.
Spacetime once revealed Why the gifts will engender. It once said There are reasons in life: Unfortunately wrapped In colours and shapes, Often times disguising things: A crow into a dove, A wolf into a sheep, A dumpsite into a garden, A villainess into a heroine, An evil witch into a kind queen, Bent into straight— Misleading this traveler’s direction.
Once it was said There is One That she will find Somewhere some time only if She minds.
Dear, Light. Only You can reveal True colours True shapes True hearts True reasons.
Be deeply silent Even in the crowd Where ocean of possibilities Is shaken In this spacious time.
Hey! The gift is relatively fair, Beloved. Be ready.
—
🌊
when window nook is ready for daydreaming, no book, no paper, no gadget – just her welcoming gifts
What are you, my love? Keris, scissors, needle, knife? Whichever, be sharp.
—
One young scholar once said “Let the old self of yours die, live as a renewed self every day and you will fall in love with yourself not because you feel more beautiful or better but because you know you are more and more authentic.”
Thank you!
kerisluk 9 – in Javanese wisdom number 9 is spiritually associated with 9 doors of senses and desires in human being’s body (two ears, two eyes, two nostrils, mouth, genitalia and rectum) that should be cared for whatever is fed in and discharged; in this wisdom those succeeding to responsibly manage the 9 will be granted good life physically, mentally and spiritually – 👏🏼 this keris luk 9 is usually favoured and owned as a sacred symbol by traditional Javanese who wants to focus on keeping one’s 9 doors of senses/desires responsibly managed
Artist, Beloved, Proportional and perfect? No. Flowing river—
—
When someone is so much a master of something that no labels or names of techniques are needed to pinpoint what s/he’s doing to perfect completion, s/he be an artist.
When will this human being be the artist of her own life? At least the artist of her own breathing…. It takes not only talent for her to become an artist, maybe she needs courage to be wrongly perceived! Maybe she should be at least misunderstood that she seldom breathes right?
😁
Salaam.
saw this artist drawing in Louvre Museum, at that time I didn’t even think it was possible as I didn’t even draw a flower nicely; it would be a shame if people saw my ugly drawing 😁 next visit I’ll do it although I still don’t draw flowers nicely😍
Forbidden city not. Imaginary power Ruined through history—
—
What’s built on weak foundation will collapse. Lies, betrayal, tyranny, iniquity adorn the strong marble slabs and zhennan wood logs, remembered through time.
Life is undeniably karmic: what is sown is what is reaped.
So satisfying to see time reveals the truth!
Salaam.
part of the Forbidden City – Beijing gave me an extraordinary time of legal short course, first snow flake of my life + of that winter and debris of horrible history 👏🏼
Point zero, my love Here now, unshakeable ground After the earthquakes—
—
I’ve been a full time thinker for the past one week…. Thanks to the physical weakness brought by the virus! 🥰 And here is the ranting abridged 🙃
Life has always suggested me to walk through places where paradoxical situations exist and has made me weigh what life path should be chosen. Luckily life has always sent me angels (fallen angels included 😄) who remind me that life isn’t only about exploiting what’s considered lucrative and physically pleasant; it’s also about exploring what’s wising-up and spiritually enriching.
When I was young; books, courses, lectures, workshops were kind of “subscription” I had to shape a level of mental toughness. Yet there was exhaustion and anti-climax for intensity every now and then (good deed included 😄). Losing faith, difficulty to trust human beings and skepticism to almost everything triggered me to deconstruct my own mindset.
Another “point zero” came and brought a decision to take a course inspired by one friend named Eva (not one of my close friends but she is definitely one trusted human being). I promised to myself that this would be my LAST course to finally be unshakeable me.
I flew to Edinburgh and was driven from the airport to a place called Chisholme House by Mr Brix who became an excellent opening of my self re-discovery. He introduced me to the richness of self re-discovery even before the course started. That was when I felt so lucky to have read Ibn Arabi, Rumi and English literature although not extensively and to have learnt Javanese wisdom that is considered “local” by many of my friends (which I always disagree) as Mr Brix’ languages were using all those keywords in the repertoire from my literature reading and cultural wisdom. Indeed Mr Brix was a “gate” welcoming me to a true friendship or fellowship bonded by humanity.
The course was simply daily schedules for us to an experiencing life or “human beings who work” — physically, mentally, spiritually, socially in connection with their own self, other human beings and nature. Of course the classes was the superb! Collins, Hiroko and Aaron were excellent facilitators and to me they are role models of ordinary yet impressive human being! Collins was a loving husband and father cum the best administrator. Hiroko was a loving mother and wife cum an excellent painter! Aaron was an excellent chef cum wise philosopher! 💝
It was so normal a life that I felt so blessed. We woke up in the morning then took a bath or at least took ablution. We started the day with a group meditation — everyone: the course participants, kitchen staffs, office staffs, garden staffs, etc except those who overslept. Then we had breakfast — English breakfast! After that we started the class; the staffs started their duties. After that we had tea break then WORK! Work meant doing the assigned chores (garden, kitchen, house, laundry). After that class again then English lunch! Then lunch break for one hour. Class again. Mediation again. Work again. Afternoon tea. Personal time (we could go to the hill, forest, sleep, talk to staffs or participants, whatever). English dinner. Discussion time. Free time. Sleep…. Repeat.
Completing the “self re-discovery”, I found that life is like riding bicycle, balancing while moving. I lose, I win. I fall in love, I break heart. I get sick, I get cured. I trust, I distrust. I think, I feel. I work, I take a rest.
Balancing is about knowing the limit. I lose against someone/something but I gain wisdom. I fall in love at the same time I have to accept the unpredictable responses. I get sick then I will be cured. I trust with or without reasoning yet can also distrust because of the true or false reasoning. I think based on logic yet when logic doesn’t count, only feeling of acceptance will neutralise the situation. And, when I am tired, I should take time-out. Just like that!
And I actually graduated with flying colours from many “extra” lessons: doing laundry, washing dishes, house keeping, potato harvesting, making bread, cooking English lunch, preparing dining table, raking dry leaves, going up and down the hills in the rain, walking in the moorland, listening to silence, listening to others’ opinions, identifying and recognising true intelligent people, trusting the right people at the right time in the right place, respecting stupid idiot (myself included 😂), taking a bath in the cold morning, and more and more!
And yes, that was the last course in my life. Ordinary yet impressive, like what I always want myself to be to and for those having in touch with me.
I want to be back there not as a participant but as a guest in the English breakfast or lunch bringing a best friend who deserves an ordinary yet impressive life.
…. 💕
Thanks for today! 😴
Salaam…
—
farmhouse where participants and volunteers slept during the “Self Discovery” in Chisholme Institute (there are male house, female house and couple wing) – missing the place and good friends there 💝
the main house where we meditate, contemplate, brainstorm, do household chores, enjoy meal and good company during the “Self Discovery”
‘The Monument to Man”: this place is one of reminders for me to stay on this track: a track where life abundance isn’t always represented by or captured through social high class and luxury show off – ‘ve lived among those with abundance yet humbly bowing to the underprivileged – thank you for this decent life 🎀
hi, Edinburgh! I’m sure I’ll be back 🥰 next time with someone I love with heart and soul 😘
Nowhere, Beloved, To depart. Wait for next train. Look around and pray.
—
Checking my old photos, I saw an almost forgotten one. A station that was giving me the most alarming experience in that trip.
Back in April 2017 I was in a solo travel for 20 days in EU region when the train from Lyon left me no choice but changing train in Bourg-en-Bresse. It was rainy and windy, almost 5pm local time, some passengers got off with me but all of them went out of the station (perhaps to go home) and only I stayed to wait for the next train at 7:15pm.
For almost 45 minutes and no one was coming. A group of young men entered the other side of the railway. They sounded chatting and giggling. I tried to avoid looking at them. It was my first time feeling insecure in the trip.
I continued reading my book (now pretending) as I felt so uneasy with the noise across the lines.
“Hi! Lady!” I looked around. No woman but me. Damn! They called me.
I didn’t say anything, my eyes looked back to my book.
“Hi! Hi!” Don’t say anything, Rike. Don’t look at them. My left hand slowly moved down to my Swiss knife in the inner pocket of the jacket.
Only prayer in heart and some strategies that were taught by my brothers on how to use the Swiss knife and simple kicks to defend myself from bad guys.
“Lady!” They shouted at me more loudly after some time.
“Lady!” The guys laughed out loud among their French words. I saw them waved their hands to me. They whistled at me. I wondered why no one was here but those guys. In my country there are always many people selling things around railway station. There are always tricycle riders moving around.
When those guys got even merrier and happier, I saw a shadow moved the tall doors behind the guys.
A tall black lady drew a trunk and went across line 1 to line 2 and to line 3 where I was almost ready to hurt any of the guys if they approached me.
The guys stopped their noise. The lady walked towards me.
I didn’t feel better. This lady could stop the guys’ laughters and whistles, she must have been able to do stronger thing than that including killing me— I had to be alert!
“Hi! Going to Geneva?” A soft voice greeted me.
“Hi! Ya! Are you?”
“Yes! The train will arrive soon.”
“Thanks God!”
“No, it is just the schedule.”
😁
We eventually were sitting in the same cart. She was working in the UN headquarters and traveled back from personal leave. She said I was lucky to take this train, not later one that might have made me encounter with more men in the station unluckily often drunk.
“Thanks God!“
“No, you just need to choose the right timing.”
😁
I almost forgot that I met this smart wise tough lady. Wherever you are, Madam, I wish you good luck! Thank you for saving me with your timeliness.
Yet dimensions have distanced us with invisible connection.
Oh…. How I Miss You So
Only wish and pray I can send through speechless wireless across the elements.
Oh…. How I Miss You So
Dream, dream, dream, dear love. Life is but a dream. I hope we visit each other In each of our good dreams, Before we wake up and together we stream.
Oh…. How I Miss You So
It doesn’t matter and it doesn’t count Even how I miss you most; like a tiny penny in a billionaire’s account: Missed and forgotten through space and time.
Oh…. How I Miss You So
It rains again which I love the most As the longing for you gets swept away By the water falling and gliding on the window: sweetly cold.
Oh…. How I Miss You So ….
Yet this stubborn heart Still sings in silence Alone with clear sweet voice Without doubt That someday this feeling will fade away, Leaving a good memory through time and space.
Listen, this is an ode To a secret love:
Oh…. How I Miss You So —
—
daydreaming in a rainy day – RC Gorman’s “Woman with Poppies”
Broken clay jar, Love, A love letter torn apart. Message of a heart—
—
How broken you are, I will always love and respect you as a clay jar that records history and memory, in the hands of an ignorant they become waste and rubbish, in the hands of wise lessons and wisdom.
I’ll take your broken clay jar to kintsugi craftsmen in near future trip just in case they can also repair broken clay jar. 🤭
Otherwise, I’ll keep it in my mini cabinet of curiosity to be a reminder that a heart is so fragile or so broken and so worth handling with care.
Journey, Beloved, Counting every blessed milestone; Deletion of doubts—
—
My personal definition of Australia: where beer is consumed more than water. It might be wrong to others but that was what I saw with these very eyes with no doubt. 😎
Anniversary, Happy! Thank you, second home. Row, row, row your boat.
—
Thank you for becoming my shelter and taking care of me.
Singapura’ National Daya view of my nesta view of today’s stairs toward workplacea view of my tracka view from Japanese classrooma view of home back there
Orange, Beloved, Mixture of red and yellow; Calmly encouraged
—
Orange is the color of joy and creativity. Orange promotes a sense of general wellness and emotional energy that should be shared, such as compassion, passion, and warmth. Orange will help a person recover from disappointments, a wounded heart, or a blow to one’s pride. (excerpted from BournCreative)
rike jokanan 
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