On your birthday, Love, Magic sends sweet messages And flowers and gifts.
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Ibu turns 78 today. It is a 78 years of human beings, 54 years of a wife, 53 years of a mother of 5. 47 years of being my mother— maybe the most annoying of facing this one rascal among 5 angels. 🙃 She might not be always happy being her but she is full of sweet smiles and words of encouragement.
If her life is a painting, it will be a colourful canvas full of fragrant tropical flowers and powerful herbs that can be concocted as medicines especially for her family and friends. Beautiful and full of healing for others— No wonder her family and neighbours highly respect her.
Ibu, I know you never like big celebration and that’s why we only send stupid messages on your birthday. But I know you always miss us to annoy you and that’s why we give surprises! Much love today and forever!
Salaam…
I sent this picture to her; maybe she was wondering why I didn’t send picture of a real birthday cake as I normally do. She will be surprised!
The wind brings voice of Falling leaves softly rustling About silent notes—
—
I humbly apologise for not being able to read your signs…. Or maybe they are for other addresses.
Salaam 💝
Broken Chair stands in delicate balance on three legs – the fourth having been violently blown off as if by an explosive charge. A way of showing that even mutilated, victims of warviolence are still standing tall, with dignity. (www.unadap.org)to me “Broken Chair” is also a question “can’t people sit down together and talk instead of defeating others in ignorance?” the saddest symbol I’ve seen
River flows. Wind blows. Birds perch on a twig and chirp, Enjoying good food.
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Life is not really WYSIWYG, there are layers that can be peeled off like peeling off onions layered skins.
What is seen in a river? Its flow. What’s behind the flow?
What is felt in a wind? Its blow. What’s behind the flow?
What’s behind the singing birds? What’s behind good food?
Something looking like nothing yet there are powerful layers of realities that wrap another deeper level of reality. At the end of the peeled-off onion, what is it? The eyes see “none” that can be immediately ignored, the self sees “the essence” that can only be understood through accepting in silence.
What an experience as a human being! Maybe this is a euphoria of being alive, or being aware? This is a good time and I will always feel good no matter what. 💝
Thank you for everything. 💝
good breakfast for a tempe(h) lover 🥰good snack for a pumpkin lover – run out of honey this time
She be, Beloved, The space not the furniture, Lets all come and go.
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If only maturity could be implanted like nose or breast or whatever, I would still choose to get mature naturally through ageing and weakening although it takes almost half of century of struggling and pain to find only its gate. Damn late!
One maturity breakthrough of my life was when realising I should be more a “space human being” (my teacher calls it “room human being”) rather than a “furniture human being”.
Silk road, Beloved, A bumpy road to a heart Laughing at a joke—
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In a silk shop in Hanoi a conversation happened.
Me: (silently questioning whether the silk offered was truly silk from Dalat or “silk” from somewhere in China)
Shopkeeper: How do you like it, Madam?
Me: I love it. But to help me make decision, would you mind answering my question? I hope this won’t offend you.
Shopkeeper: Certainly, Madam.
Me: Is this silk truly from Dalat?
Shopkeeper: Yes, Madam. It is from Dalat, my parents’ hometown. Why, Madam?
Me: Not from China?
Shopkeeper: (laughing) We received the same question from another customer before. I am not surprised. Trust me it is Vietnamese silk, not Chinese product…. (She made a joke about “silk” then continued her long explanation of silk industry in Vietnam and her family business history and brought some samples of old silk that had been kept since her grand grand parents started production.)
She was able to convince me relatively well and my decision was buying one pretty white piece. White silk won’t go wrong to attend my nephew’s wedding in December! 🥰
May all beings be happy.
written history is a frame, what’s inside can be anything the writer wants to put in – unfortunately some true thing is not in the frame 😎
Cluttered, Beloved, Storing unprocessed info Too much. Declutter!
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I love jewelry and used to love purchasing them not because of its value but more because of sentiment to its historical, cultural or spiritual loads. And that was lots of money (to me, not to others who have millions and millions of dollars). My close friends and my mother repeatedly ranted and nagged to me to buy gold than those “meaningless” jewelry. Did I listen? Of course nooooooot!!!
Until one day I realised that those things are a fantasy in a hoarder’s spirit of mine. And so I decided to stop buying things if not helping me work/study better or making this journey lighter.
I should be decluttering more and more and giving more space to moving energy. My home should be filled with more expressive sweet love than with unprocessed memories. Unprocessed memories = info that is never escalated into knowledge then insight then wisdom = rubbish!
Dear Life, please let me be with you longer so that I can unlearn more and more wisely, embrace your true meaning more and more clearly and give meaning to you more and more sweetly.
*breathing for a while for the next task of today’s decluttering*
silver “Phaistos Disc” pendant bought in Musee de Louvre, loved it so much for its historical symbol but only worn twice – lesson learnt!how many of these silver bracelets and bangles bought just because I was charmed by the meaning of the (new design) charms & dangling then I had to go to doctor because of allergic to the metal, finally just given away or stored for years – how stupid!
and other rubbish – give away or throw away!
the clutter is only allowed for kitchen before cooking for family and friends and…. (pic from Pinterest)….. garden (pic from Pinterest)
Root of a tree Who grows in in the dark, Breathes with the creepy crawly, Sleeps in none of seasons. Silently grateful for What’s not understood.
Cartilage of a human body Who is not hard enough to be bone, Not soft enough to be muscle, Comfortably sits in between, Catches messages delivered By whisper, breeze and wind.
Jasmine sambac of the garden Who is humbly tiny, clustering; Blooms the whole year, Leaves much fragrance to the day, Deep meaning to celebration Before she dries brown.
Helium of the sun Light, low, odourless, tasteless, insipid— It’s peaceful to be low profile, It’s more joyful and freer, It’s easier to be me, Closer to Gaia.
Yet no secret bandit among The rascals in the block!
What?!
What what?! Don’t ask. I can be anything But You.
—
Rainy weekend is good especially when just have to shortly reply “Ok!” to a message saying “Heavy rain. Impossible to bike. Rain check ya.”
A bridge, Beloved, Transitioning melody Between two islands—
—
It takes logical thinking to bridge the gaps — where she is, where she wants to be. And, honesty is the right logic to know how to get from one state to another.
?
Can anyone be dishonest to one’s self? Yes? How long? Long enough to sink before reaching the destination.
May all beings be happy.
Penang’s second bridge (Sultan Abdul Halim Muadzam Shah Bridge) – shortest way from Pulau Pinang to Batu Kawan
Playground, Beloved, Where crickets find the shelters, Light heart run around—
—
Back to my playground — am I the crickets hiding from the stomping feet of the children playing? Or the the light-hearted children stomping their feet around?
Comfort comes in different ways to different people.
May all beings be happy.
Pulau Jerejak, a name in the bucket list forever and never getting approval for a visit from anyone meeting me in Malaysia — I’m sometimes a cricket in this playground 🤓
Daruma city You’ve witnessed left eyes were drawn. Wish me the right ones.
–
A group of people in Takasaki wished me a happy birthday in an online meeting. A real surprise that made my day! I almost cried of happiness! 🥺
This evening one of them went back to Tokyo and she sent me messages with photos taken in Takasaki station. Another sweet surprise!
ありがとうございます, AWさん。また来年お会いしましょう！
Looking forward to a set of daruma dolls of different colours I ordered from Amazon (because of cancelled plan to buy them in its original city). Not a real surprise but hope the dolls give me a little shade of surprise! 🤩
Salaam.
daruma doll in Takasaki station sent with a message “Happy birthday, Rike. Come on draw my eyes!” 😂“Enjoy!” another message with another photo 😂
Dream home, Beloved, Sitting with all senses on, Capturing moments—
—
Lunch break + very very heavy rain = early wish of birthday getaway to come true!
sitting here while writing a bunch of love letters to whomever I want – 2023
long chat in Ubud – 2024
tranquil nights in Angkor – 2025
ocean air breathing in Ninh Thuan – 2026
walking in the depth of souk – 2027
To be continued with more destinations in 2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2034, 2035, 2036, 2037, 2038, 2039, 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043, 2044, 2045, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2050, 2051, 2052, 2053, 2054, 2055, 2056, 2057, 2058, 2059, 2060, 2061, 2062, 2063, 2064, 2065…. As if I knew how long I will wander around here? I hope to live as long as time is mentally and physically enjoyable with family and friends without bothering them.
Long life, fresh and sane!
Then came the calculation part…. A lot of coins to spend to comfortably celebrate that way in those particular places. Easy! Just need a clover pendant to make it happen. 😝
4-leaf good luck charm immediately wanted!!! to make dreams come true 🍀
Thanks for the rain and daydream. I know there is more than meets the eye! Life is so rich and I accept all the gifts.
Crossroads, Beloved, A while gauging where to go— Follow the North Star.
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Today’s conversation with one best friend was a bit nostalgic. She talked about how she went to spiritual class (very common in my country to do so for religion or non-religion based teachings) until finally she quit at 45. Her reason was disappointment to teachers. She asked about me and I said quit at 30’s and my disappointment was to myself.
A stubborn student, I wouldn’t listen to what teachers told me to believe or to do. I would ask questions then believed only when choosing to believe; even with good explanation, I wouldn’t believe if not interested to believe.
One example of the fool was when a particular teacher gave “daily task” to recite “Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem”, I didn’t do it even he only asked me to recite it 10x a day, while the other two were 100x a day. “No, Teacher. Why do I have to do it? I already read it as part of Alfatihah recitation in my daily prayer, that’s more than 10x a day,” said I. It was when praying was five times a day for me, oftentimes 7 times!
Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem is a sacred word uttered by Muslim or most traditional non-Muslim Javanese when starting an activity. It means “In the name of Allah The Gracious The Merciful”, some interpret it as “On behalf of Allah The Gracious The Merciful”. By reading it the reader is expected to only do good thing with good intension with love. The teacher also said that reading it we were doing self alignment: align the self with the true self, to be true to ourselves, to easily make decision and to cut short confusion and to always be blessed, to blend action with good intension.
Amazingly all teachers understood the fool and just gave a lot of smiles and books to read which annoyed her more and more. I became frustrated seeing the two good friends gained fast track understanding of life. I decided to quit then did whatever was fun fun fun ignoring the essence of being human being.
Only years later I found that self alignment is very important and I was sorry for realising it late. I finally got it why those two good friends were so peaceful while I was still struggling with almost everything. It was also the year when we found that that dear teacher passed away of old age.
I know where to go because I am fool…. where? to you…. 💗
Now? Learning to care more about inner journey and well being. Whatever happens to me is a consequence of my decision. If the decision is aligned with my true self, it leads to success. If the decision is false and against my true self, it leads to lesson learnt. Lesson learnt leads to better decision. Better decision leads to success. Success to me is not merely material gain, it can be simply being able to smile in tough time. This simple lesson is a result of years of battle for a stupid person like me.
My best friend asked me how now to deal with self alignment esp when in confusion.
Me: I recite Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem cumulatively 300x before night sleep.
BF: Why? Did that teacher come virtually and ask you to?
Me: No. I found that this word is my best to strengthen self-alignment between good intention and action.
BF: Why 300x? He said 10x.
Me: He discounted the price. I’m 30x more valuable than his appraisal.
BF: Arrogant fool!
Me: I’m just a fool.
BF: There are two of us.
Lesson learnt: Always find a way to see my fool not others’. Always find a way to laugh at my own self not at others’.
I don’t want to race. Only safety that I wish So I can meet you.
—
started late today and found the undercharged front lamp, decided to go back to the brighter track, safety first 🧷brighter area near home is always the safest
Gesture, Beloved, Expressed to send a message Addressed with no stamp
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a simple gesture makes a dark heart shine – whose heart? the performer or the spectator? apparently bothis it he or I who thanks for that day? wherever you are, God bless you! thanks for anonymously making my day! 🙏🏼
Dream home, Beloved, A place where nature meets hearts; Hearts warmly greet souls—
—
The conversation with a long lost friend came to a topic of “where we want to live if ending living alone?”
Living in Singapore was never part of my dream. A visit in 2010 gave me impression that I would die of hunger in a week with Indonesia salary. 😁
Now this city is a lovely second home; my impression has changed. I won’t die because of hunger but I will die because of loneliness if I stay single retiring here. I still can’t find enough friends like those in home country. There are three but all of them will retire in Bali and New Zealand sooner than me.
Residing in a landed property where gardening and backyard dining is affordable is a preference, yet I don’t have the luxury of living in such place here. And I don’t want to die alone in a locked condo found rotten after days or even weeks. Oh God, please protect me from such horrible thing. Amen….
F: I’ve always wanted to live in Ubud and it will happen very soon. I’ll open a spa with all traditional herbal from all over Indonesia. I’ll quit my job soon. I want to live my own life as me, no one can tell me to do this and that anymore! No bloody politics anymore! Visit me often! You’ll find my spa super special! I’ll give you discount! Be a regular customer! Hey! You once wanted to live in Thailand?
Me: Someone informed me about a good property in low price near my favourite hotel in Ayutthaya. Yet Thai have controversial life style I’m not comfortable with in a way. I’m too simple, sometimes too honest and can be against those status-oriented that I might not be able to adapt well. Not a true dream! Hey! Actually love to live in Kyoto!
F: You’ll die in three months after you complete second round of shrine, temple and ancient house hopping! 😂
Me: Dying of walking! 😂
What a refreshing conversation! And yes, I’ll visit her spa soon! 😍
Lesson learnt: Will only live with those I love and loving me where home is a real feel. No excuse.
Salaam…. 💝
gebyok – the Javanese teak wood door symbolizing the host’s living in welfare, peace and harmony with nature 💝angkul-angkul – the Balinese gate symbolizing warmth welcome to guests and privacy of the host at the same time 💝
In harmony, love, The art, the breath, the weather With the city vibe—
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I prefer enjoying the artistic vibes of a city to enjoying the crowd of its party or clubbing. People’s effort to entertain others through art on the street while at the same time earning a living is more humane than people’s effort to escape from their allegedly humdrum life by forgetting who they really are (my humble opinion).
May all beings be happy. 💝
performer who stunned a boy (and the spectators behind him incl me) with her dance and smiles – I’ll definitely be back to country coded +31 😍enjoying music in a city corner – should be back someday 😍 (country coded +32)the literary man on the wall of a city – should I be back to country coded +44?
Lover, Beloved, With whom air and joy is shared, By whom tears soon dried—
—
Being excited about solo travel wished in near future has made me remember places visited alone years ago. One of them is Madrid. Exciting one! Also ridiculous one! This trip was where I had: Korean food for lunch (my hunger came earlier, while people in Madrid have lunch at around 2pm so the most recommended Madrid restaurant was not open yet), Chinese silk bought (order from my beautiful best friend who was craving for it), lapis lazuli earring studs purchased for €80 (found them only S$40 in Lucky Plaza, might be only IDR300,000 in Jakarta), walking around the same street 4 times to find one place that was shown very clearly in Google Map…. I was lost in mind because of too many handsome faces on the road 😂
Madrid though won’t be a city I will go alone anymore. This place is too romantic to go without a lover.
One more thing, be careful of pickpockets! Too many, too many!
Salaam. 💝
I still believe I saw Cristiano Ronaldo in Starbucks there but none of my friends believe me 😆
Journey, Beloved, Lost in the crowd, finding self. Walk to the next gate.
—
Try solo travel and identify the emerging emotions from one place to another. It’s great to experience different feelings responding to new people and different culture.
It’s not about how many countries have been explored. It’s about how much this self can stretch herself through the need of adaptation and flexibility alone. Not easy but doable—
What’s the next destination of her solo travel? Wherever, soon please.
💝
you know where it is – look at the phone box carefully and a culture is seen there 🔥
I’m lost, Beloved. This maze takes me a hostage I need to grow wings.
—
You might feel lost yet don’t get lazed. Open your eyes. This is not that maze maze. It is just an abandoned garden where trees are growing high touching the sky blocking the sun ray, grasses are growing wild covering the paths disguising directions. Look! There is something blinking from afar. Follow it, it might be a star. Or at least there is something moving you out of where you are.
Firstly open eyes! Your cat is getting impatient to go for adventure. Don’t let it leave you. This cat is a precious traveling companion indeed.
WAKE UP!!!
💝
the cat is reading the mind of fellow traveler whose eyelids have imprisoned one from a pretty autumn – wake up! live this dream! 💝
Your name, Beloved: Air blanketing fragrant space, Soil firming the stance—
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Shakespeare said “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.”
He isn’t wrong. Yet he isn’t always right.
I call a name when rain is sweetly pouring down, call another name when day is scorching too bright and hot….
Why is it easier to call your name than my own? Is your name so strongly rooted that only it I can remember when it rains? Is it your name or is it you that stays with me?
Oh you….
Oh your name….
Salaam.
is the flying butterfly not anymore the caterpillar greedily eating before sleeping? am I still the un-named baby born by my mother? 💗
The depth of silence is As deep As ocean of possibilities. Shaken, the ocean will splash Drops of gifts.
Time once revealed When the gifts will appear. It once said There is a moment in time.
Space once revealed Where the gifts will arrive. It once said There is a point in space.
Spacetime once revealed Why the gifts will engender. It once said There are reasons in life: Unfortunately wrapped In colours and shapes, Often times disguising things: A crow into a dove, A wolf into a sheep, A dumpsite into a garden, A villainess into a heroine, An evil witch into a kind queen, Bent into straight— Misleading this traveler’s direction.
Once it was said There is One That she will find Somewhere some time only if She minds.
Dear, Light. Only You can reveal True colours True shapes True hearts True reasons.
Be deeply silent Even in the crowd Where ocean of possibilities Is shaken In this spacious time.
Hey! The gift is relatively fair, Beloved. Be ready.
—
🌊
when window nook is ready for daydreaming, no book, no paper, no gadget – just her welcoming gifts
What are you, my love? Keris, scissors, needle, knife? Whichever, be sharp.
—
One young scholar once said “Let the old self of yours die, live as a renewed self every day and you will fall in love with yourself not because you feel more beautiful or better but because you know you are more and more authentic.”
Thank you!
kerisluk 9 – in Javanese wisdom number 9 is spiritually associated with 9 doors of senses and desires in human being’s body (two ears, two eyes, two nostrils, mouth, genitalia and rectum) that should be cared for whatever is fed in and discharged; in this wisdom those succeeding to responsibly manage the 9 will be granted good life physically, mentally and spiritually – 👏🏼 this keris luk 9 is usually favoured and owned as a sacred symbol by traditional Javanese who wants to focus on keeping one’s 9 doors of senses/desires responsibly managed
Artist, Beloved, Proportional and perfect? No. Flowing river—
—
When someone is so much a master of something that no labels or names of techniques are needed to pinpoint what s/he’s doing to perfect completion, s/he be an artist.
When will this human being be the artist of her own life? At least the artist of her own breathing…. It takes not only talent for her to become an artist, maybe she needs courage to be wrongly perceived! Maybe she should be at least misunderstood that she seldom breathes right?
😁
Salaam.
saw this artist drawing in Louvre Museum, at that time I didn’t even think it was possible as I didn’t even draw a flower nicely; it would be a shame if people saw my ugly drawing 😁 next visit I’ll do it although I still don’t draw flowers nicely😍
rike jokanan 
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