graphs of my Universe
Dear tree, wait for her.
She’s caught up but will come back
To give you big hug.
Not that you miss her hugging.
It’s she missing your stillness.
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Some friends are so loyal that they still touch your heart even without talking to you.
Thanks to a friend from a distance for her humble wisdom every now and then, for inspiring me silently….
I’m a torch no more.
I’m a morning for my day
To be. Am I free?
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Just one click! Then the monitor shows something brighter and full of hopes! Vast ocean of happiness—
Why is it so blocked to be optimistic? Take a mirror, unlock just one sweet smile, look into the smiling face more deeply a little bit longer and know why…. Dear, Love. Just one click!
May all beings be happy.
Where are you, oh dear?
Mountains and oceans are passed
By with beauty glued
As memory. Beloved,
Where’s the next stop? Peek a boo!
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When I was young; I joined spiritual workshop, class, training; read spiritual books, journal, articles; listened to spiritual preaching, cassettes, radio programs; name more —mostly informal, some non-formal, one formal not finished oh I’m blessed that It wasn’t. Whenever I was asked why I did, I would say “I wanna know God.”
Hopeless popus!*
Has anyone experienced this looking-sophisticated-but-actually-comical thing? Thanks God (s/he’d like to be censored actually) I’m not alone in this zero to zigzagging journey— from being very excitedly curious to being a drunken master. 🤪
What a blessed journey it was!
If I’m supposed to tell that young me when starting through the reading of those looking-sophisticated-yet-actually-comical random materials, I would say “Hey, Lady Haha! You should have a map but a destination is paramount!”
And I still feel so blessed!
May all haha moments be deciphered. 😊
* refer to the video of “How To Dad” in “How To Teach A Kid Curse Words”.
Bruised and scarred she is;
A stained-glass window to see
Both sides of her world.
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22:22 / Sunday – June 6, 2021
I thought all of those were wounds and warts until observing carefully. I’ve been living with a beautiful stained-glass window which puts colours and gives unique perspectives when seeing inside and outside. As long as it doesn’t derail from being a human being, I think I’m blessed.
Why shouldn’t I be thankful and happy? 💞
And….
May all beings be happy.
Salam.
Where to go? Let’s go!
River never knows but flows.
This is estuary,
Beloved, sea welcomes you.
Black to blue is true. Slow down....
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One of my best friends is flying to Bali this morning. She’ll live in her most favourite island for how long only Heaven knows.
We knew she has dreamt of living in Ubud without knowing how to materialise it as she’s a full time employee in Jakarta and her job requires her to sit in front of her computer for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. Bali was just a holiday or weekend escapade that helps refresh before going back to the busy metropolis.
We had a 3-hour call last night, celebrating her flight to her paradise! She’s happy. I’m happy for her.
How can I not believe that this pandemic is a blessing? It has moved someone’s cubicle to her living room then to her mother’s home, and soon to a beautiful place where dreams have lingered for Heaven knows how long. I can imagine how serene and fun her productivity will be!
May all beings be happy.
Happy and healthy
Two to walk, to cook good food—
About the balance
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Have ever questioned why duality is everywhere? Right left. Hot cold. Bright dark. Name it.
So much about duality in which one finds oneness as the balance after these years of living and to many years to continue living— With less and less confusion for sure
Harmony
Black in white, white in black
Polarity well comprehended
Centeredness in busy hours
Distance between zero and infinity
May all beings be happy.
How sweet is a day?
Take a bowl of taste, sit down.
Nature’s gift is real.
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There is always a way to make a good day as long the stove has fire. Cooking can be one tastiest meditation. Stewed pumpkin and crunchy cashew nuts!
When chords are played,
Heart beat tunes its harmony.
Song of peace and grace—
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Bengawan Solo is always giving me home wherever it is. There is a river flowing in me.
Tongue twisted by words;
By taste, too that kicks the sense;
A toast to the health!
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Of being human:
Letting others be human
Although for a while.
If only human being is being human, giving up other predicates just for a while. If they give up the wrong concept of being religious, maybe no one will need to say “I’ll do whatever I want” because everyone respects everybody.
Humanity, Human, humanity.
Red fades away of Talks, drinks, not kisses. Lovely, Lively, blessed long day.
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You want to drink more after talking, you do. Drink! Water, not alcohol.🫖
You don’t want to look pale even when you’re too tired, you don’t. Put lipstick. Why did I even put lipstick when I didn’t turn on the video in the call? 🧐
Long day is as short as short when you know what you’re doing.
May all beings be happy.
Balance off? Get up! Round wheels, thousands of chances— Some laughter won’t harm.
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When joy overrides pain, laughter is the best medicine!
No one sees! Only ghosts are around! Laugh again! More loudly!
She walks to a place, Knowing it or not. She’s timed, Knowing it or not.
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One used to want to be a doctor then changed to be an engineer then to a flight attendant then to a journalist then to a teacher then to a writer then to be rich then to be happy and peaceful then to be a human being…. Maybe someday she will change, who knows?
Hope time and space take the side on her.
🐣
Too much love will kill Who? None. Love will overflow, Reviving the death.
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Finally an agreement was achieved among some friends to start a project to support a few batik makers that we know and to spread knowledge about batik from unique perspectives. There will be video about batik, the batik artisan’s life and thin slices of Javanese wisdom. And so I have to restart the old hobby that has been dormant for how long only heaven knows.
Can’t wait to travel to dear home-base-will-be and produce slides and shows….
Hope it works well.
Friendship nurtures human beings in many ways possible.
What is in the spread? A bunch of grub and wisdom Don’t leave any bit.
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It is Lebaran today.
I put what I cooked on the table (the only table in the house), took picture of it and sent to those with whom I would love to enjoy it together on Hari Raya: family, close friends and some colleagues. This year, we’re virtually enjoying it through pictures or video calls! What an exciting morning!
Rice cake (ketupat or lontong in Indonesia), sayur labu siam (chayotes in coconut milk), opor ayam (chicken opor, the yellow soup), beef rendang and sambel goreng kentang (potato sambal), kerupuk (crackers), nuts, sweet cookies from Bengawan Solo, and of course fruits! Enjoy!
And what’s under the spread? Table cloth of batik with “nitik” motif.
Nitik is a Yogyakartan-style batik which is traditionally dark colour (sogan in Javanese) with lighter colour background compared to Solo style. Nitik is the shortened structure of “nggawe (making) titik (dots)” that immediately shows the appearance of the motif, thousands of dots forming some geometrical patterns.
Historically this motif has been believed as the simplicity and humbleness of the designers and makers who were ordinary women in the villages which were located outside of city centre (palace). This motif came into palace environment after certain period of time and finally integrated into many designs.
Interestingly nitik is a Javanese word that can also mean niteni or marking based on data or facts. So, simple and humble of human beings character can show something bigger if gathered and analysed carefully. Ah my…. Why should it be that complex? Just enjoy the batik beauty, Beloved.
Selamat Hari Raya!
May all beings be happy. 💞
When moments collide, Time slows down, space enlarges. A coincidence?
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Based on solar calendar, it is my father’s birthday today. Based on lunar calendar it is his death commemoration.
Mathematically the two calculations are crossing, astronomically celestial bodies are in moving in harmony, momentarily it’s just a coincidence. To his family it’s a special moment— celebrating a point when an important human being’s life in the world is started and ended.
God bless you, Bapak. Happy 0th birthday! Are you watching me? Thank you. But no need, just take a rest, I’m safe now. 😘
Under the green leaf, Crawls then sleeps. Wake up with love. Fly, Butterfly, fly.
Metamorphosis of egg to caterpillar to cocoon before butterfly is beautiful and relevant with the cycles of human being’s life in all aspect.
How someone finds a potential and amplifies the potential with any resources that one can think of such as schooling, taking courses/training/workshop, reading, listening, watching, contemplating, consultancy…. Oh some others who don’t have clear thinking include their actions of cheating, stealing, breaking the law, stepping the integrity lines, backstabbing, etc.
It is like witnessing the eggs sheltered by some shade of plants and with the weather and pressure, they are pushed to crawl out of the shells. Here it comes one hungry caterpillar, playing happily, eating this, eating that, eating these, eating those, eating everything. This caterpillar can only stop eating when one feels numb and one’s fullness melts away and wraps itself to sleep. The things one consumed liquifies it like ice thawed in a plastic bag.
Sleep soundly, hungry caterpillar and don’t wake up until someday your fluid self come into form, embodied into a totally different creature. The butterfly you are!
There was a time when an employee is so preoccupied with what one is doing, as if one is wrapped in a system that trapped one doing the same thing like no choice is given. One does it everyday until finally not having to think of how to do it already. One might feel the job is ingrained as a thought, a feeling, an intuition, movement, the life itself. Trained skills and talents make an art, the integrity shapes wisdom. A job—when has become a dedication— will not betray a human being.
Hope someday mine becomes one. It is never about how high I climb but about how deep I dive into the commitment of making what I’m doing a wisdom and benefits for those we promise to protect and support.
I think it is ok to be one hungry caterpillar, looking greedy and craving for more knowledge, experiences, adventures. As long as it knows where poison lies, it is safe to chew and swallow anything. No no not anything…. Select wisely, Beloved.
I remember Steve Jobs said “Stay foolish, stay hungry”. That person really knew what he was doing. Many people might have thought negatively about him, laughed at what he was doing, called him crazy, kicked him out for having different ideas, backstabbed him to stop his annoyance. Those people just didn’t know that that guy was a hungry caterpillar processing into a cocoon before butterfly. Amazing human being! God bless time when he was alive and forever.
Hmm…. Perhaps he truthfully made himself hungry by fasting and foolish by learning and unlearning.
God bless you, Steve Jobs and the people around his belief about staying foolish and hungry.
Salam….
Silent nights have come To sit still and greet the heart. Please forgive me, Love.
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Ramadhan month is almost over. Many Muslim will spend the last 10 days of Ramadhan in the mosques. They focus on the zikr (remembrance) by enchanting attributes of God and reciting the Quran. They call it i’tikaf— literally meaning staying put or sitting still, commonly understood as retreat in the mosque to worship the God recommended at the last 10 days of Ramadhan. How beautiful those nights are!
How lucky people who have the time to spend with themselves and look in to their own inner journey.
I’m not a devoted one so I don’t do the i’tikaf anymore. For retreat I prefer attending discussion or meditation session or just being alone contemplating or just wandering at the nature.
I feel lucky that this past one year has been a kind of long retreat through the working from home during pandemic. I’ve got sufficient time to do what I missed doing for almost the past 12 years in which back to back trips were a cup of tea, and do it slowly with (sometimes not full) awareness.
Cooking own food, washing own clothes, cleaning the whole house alone, running or walking at the river bank, biking around midnight time, painting, singing out loud at lunch time, writing journals and blog, watering my plants and talking to them, and so on…. All thanks to working from home—
Thanks to Life for all those. Thanks for everything.
At the same time I made a series of mistakes to someone. Some things are misunderstood naturally. It’s gonna be ok. I hope Life forgives me and lets my journey be easier.
May all beings be happy. 💞
Where’s home, Beloved That gives warmth, food and laughter? Winter gets longer.
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Never was in mind that I would live in the time of Corona. Gabriel Garcia Marquez sounds relatable.
Salam….
Heaven is open When words bear petals of rose. Blessings with no end—
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What is luxury? The rarely found, Beloved Regardless its price—
—
Some find synonyms of luxury in caviar, Hermes, Lambo, penthouse, blahblahblah…. Not always
It’s my luxury today! 🥰
This night gets longer. More dreams linger in silence. Lid the bucket list.
————
I pray to have enough time to be able to visit all places in my bucket list as 2020 and 2021’s trips are unchecked. If only dreaming is stoppable,
Thanks God I enjoy getting lost walking or biking that’s the best option in this cute island.
May all beings be happy.
🍀
It's almost your day You're the best gift for you. Yes, Unbox yourself now.
Are you bored of celebrating unboxing the best gift which is you for you? Hope not….
Almost given up: Milestones to reach the final. Language of dreams
—
Japanese is almost as difficult as Arabic but I didn’t find hard time learning Arabic as the brain was much fresher with more time to focus on lessons by then. I almost gave up this Japanese lesson as I felt too slow. Until today mixing up between シ and ツ still happens again and again. Different forms of adjective and noun when tenses change still confuse me. The crazy kanji has also tortured me. Why did I even learn this language? 🤪 Drama! 🥰
But hey! I won’t stop until I can read and compose beautiful poems in Japanese. Too much a dream? Ok, I won’t stop until I can present the company’s Code of Conduct in Japanese! Making more sense! 😁
If the teacher isn’t this good, I might have given up earlier. The Sensei is such an expert of Japanese language and culture that she can make me understand why those Japanese I’ve met have behaved so strangely not as I expected Japanese I thought would be. 😝
Some people are just so “like that” regardless they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Singaporean or any other….. Life is so interesting, take it easy!
God bless all….
Flow, Beloved. Flow. Be a river whose stream knows Its gravity. Yours Is me? Making it flow back To where a home is. Within—
—
A river is a river only when the stream is moving to a point of a pulling force. Don’t get stuck or blocked because that is when you lose your being as a river.
Find the tiniest gap and flow….
Flower is blooming In a dry valley. No grudge— Just beauty and life
—
Flower is everywhere as beauty is. Find it in you.
You look perfect, Love Mechanically living. I can’t reach you, Love. You’re deadly cold snow— heartless Pushing me farther away.
—
Some work of art is precisely designed, formulated and worked by robot. Accuracy, precision, flawless
Some is beautifully designed, measured and worked by living artist whose movement is built through heart and soul. Relatively beautiful with direct human touch
Each prefers one with some price
Some human beings are so mechanical, they don’t know how to respond others humanely. They simply see things through a flow chart. Hope that this group extinct soon.
May all beings be happy.
Beyond layered skies Is beauty unknown, my Love I’ll never give up.
—
This I wishes happiness to that you across the ocean although the you never knows….
When you reach the shore, Let the sand pull you into Everlasting pores, Put life to start once again. Life stories of wave and wind
—
How will you be back to shore after being brought back to sea….
….every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, birthday, death, life….
….Repeatedly?
Ripple can disturb A placid lake. Tidal wave Won’t change a rough sea.
—
I’m a small lake, whereas you’re the wide sea. Dear, with the roughness you can’t feel the softest heart. Too bad….
May all beings be happy.
rike jokanan 
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