You can replace me
With another intelligence
Or beauty.
But I worry not,
I am myself a space
That doesn't need a place or
Replace.
If replacing me
Is saving
You,
Please feel free.
irreplaceable you are
I Am Replaceable
Tag: poet
How I Love You
How I love you?
Much
How much?
I can't tell you how much but I can tell you how.
My love is not commodity
That you transact about.
My love is not a content
That you measure up.
My love is a river
Flowing as long as you be the channel.
My love is a breeze
Blowing as long as you be the air.
My love is colours
Showing as long as you be the light.
Yet I know the love you wish
Is different.
You want me to be wood to burn,
Water to drink,
Bread to eat,
Game to play.
I feel delighted that you have such fun.
I am waiting for the wisdom to grow.
If the fun outgrows wisdom by the time we travel together, this love will wither before it blooms.
So that's how I love you and how much you need.
RC Gorman’s work of art
Scars
There are scars, dear heart.
They stay. Painless, ugly and
Bringing back a day--
some mirrors will remind me of the day these scars were then wounds caused by incidents committed through actions either well planned or lousily coincided
forgiving but not forgetting is not as easy as how i say
have i forgiven? or should i be forgetful?
Sunflowers To Sun
Their yellow petals
Look out to a Sunday rain
And whisper
"Dear, Sun. Our beauty decorates a home showered by rain, waiting for your ray. Don't hide too long."
sunflowers looking out to a rainy Sunday whispering to the hiding Sun
Show of Light
Tell me, Beloved,
Your light shows me light journey.
These steps are now light.
me and Blue, ready to greet the wet earth after rain
hi, home 💕
what will be across the resevoir?
light on the railway
An Empty Jar
I will love you
As an empty jar
Waiting for streams of words
Telling me stories,
Containing drops of secrets
Petrifying in our soul,
Concocting ingredients of ideas
Writing beautiful love stories,
Catching breeze of affection
Weaving sheet of loyalty.
loving you like i am an empty jar
An Empty Jar
She's an empty jar
Longing for your rain to pour.
Fragrance of dried clay--
what do we want to pour into ou empty jar? blessings or cursing? love or ignorance? up to us–
One Thousand of Laughter
This love is laughing
A thousand times
To celebrate her victory
Everyday
No matter what--
5 is ha in Thai, 55 is haha, most of my Thai friends will write 5555555…. when they want to show laughter
thank you, Bangkok for giving me 55K that means one thousand of laughter
Why Love Poem? #1
Why love poem, my love?
It's you writing in my heart
That longs for her rose.
My liking to poem started at early age with the pantun jenaka (Indonesian four-lined poem, mostly witty and light) in Bahasa Indonesia lesson book and the Javanese poem contained in mocopat (Javanese traditional songs) and geguritan (Javanese free verse) in Jayabaya magazine subscribed by our parents. I also loved reading books and comics but poetry has given me more room to explore meanings and imagination.
I’ve written diary since I learnt how to compose paragraph. I wrote poems to express emotion that I could not describe through prose because of the emotion complexity and also I wanted to make beautiful expression.
And as I studied Literature in uni, poetry became integrated part of my days. I wrote a lot of poems but most were gone with the paper pulping and the floppy disks rotten.
I used to write poem about nature as I loved Robert Frost, William Wordsworth, John Keats’ works.
Over the time especially when I started reading Rumi and Ibn Arabi, I started to use more word love, beloved, lover and all things related to them. And I also love to use the word river, sea, meadow and some nature related words. It is simply because those words can represent the vibe, nuance, atmosphere and foundation of idea in me.
When I talk about love, is it always about love? Yes, it is always about love because the only topic relevant to life is love.
When I talk about love, is it always about romance? Sometimes? But most of my love poem is about the love within me, the love to life, the love to a reality that I cannot describe but I can only sense both subtly physically and non-physically.
my fondness to love is equivalent with my fondness to the breeze caressing my hair
Some of my friends will tell me “kamu gombal” in English it can mean “you are bullshitting” or “you are flirting”. I don’t mind people say that. I don’t have to explain to those not knowing my inner journey; to those who are in the same journey I don’t need to explain as they know what happens to and within me.
I will not change my love story in this life.
Am I afraid that a man that I love will think I am madly in love with someone else? No! He will know that my love poem is only for him. If he doesn’t know, it means he doesn’t vibe enough love with and for me.
What about if people think I am gaslighting? I also don’t mind although I might get hurt inside. I really don’t mind.
I love love poems and I dedicate the love poems to my Beloved, me, beloved, family and friends and the whole world. Someday if Life allows me to be remembered even after I die, I want to be remembered as a human being who knows love and compassion. If Life wants me to be forgotten after I die, I know I am forgotten in the name of love.
💕
(no edit is applied to this writing, please excuse my typos; i wrote this to wait during flight delay in Svarnabhum International Airport, Bangkok)
A Date
A date, Beloved,
Gives energy and sweetness
To life. A blessing--
Have a good weekend, everyone❣️
today i had a date with a good friend and her son in Thomson Plaza; while Vito the son was having tuition, his mother and I enjoyed our Korean lunch then coffee in Ya Kun Kaya
then i accompanied them to dentist for teeth cleaning before heading to Columbus for her son’s wafel and our french fries
Thomson Plaza is our favorite place as it is not far from our houses (1 bus, no exchange), it is where her son takes his English tuition, there is no tourist and it is close to Upper Thomson neighborhood where nice cafes and restaurants are located
You
This journey is a quiet seating with
You.
Whether you get stuck or flow or flood, I won't leave
You but
I leave it to
You
Wholeheartedly.
this is me surrendering to
You
take me in your love gently like a breeze in a warm day
Dear River
Dear, River.
Flow
Freely
If you don't want me.
We'll see
Each other
In the sea.
sometimes i am not part of a flow and i am ok…. i will flow with myself beautifully to
You in the sea
Smells Like Spring
My day smells like spring
Not because others give me hope
Not because others praise me high
Not because others lay red carpet for me--
No.
My day smells like spring
Because my senses work through
Your grace
Because my steps walk through
Your bliss
Because my breaths respire through
Your joy--
Yes.
this is not a popular composition but it sounds heaven to my hearing
life is light and smooth when we love wholeheartedly and playfully
i love you…. 💕
You, Too? Or Just Me?
I
Don't know you
But know you.
You fly with the cotton candy
Around me in the sky.
You dive with the schools of fish
Next to me in the water.
You grow with the root
Beside me in the earth.
You are everything around me.
You run with me when I walk.
You swim with me when I play in the water.
You soar with me when I fly.
You are with me everytime.
You breathe with me.
You throb with me.
You vibe with me.
You are everywhere with me.
Everyone might question me
"How dare you!"
Every one will do to me.
I
Know you
But don't know you.
Only time will tell
If your signs are true
Or false.
Only time will tell
When we shake our hands
And say hi.
Only time will tell
If I know you
Or know not.
maybe it is just me living in my dream, and you are the unreached reality
💕
Journey
Journey's, Beloved,
A trip with destination.
Enjoy each moment.
everyone is leaving home to go home, by air, by water, by land, by soul, by spirit, by mind, by heart, by love, by any means…. just going home
Painful No More
Sometimes she believes
A branch to cut for whole tree.
It's painful no more.
it was the only time i took picture of my needled arm before MRI, the person doing it was a trainee and she poked on my arm 7 times without getting the right point, she was panicked but aftaid of giving up until i whispered to her “i know you feel responsible to finish this task but i also have the right to feel comfortable, let your senior do it, i’ll request nicely”
sometimes someone has to give up for the sake of everyone else’s comfort — sounds awful but that’s how life works
Witness
Witness, Beloved,
Beholds the flow, stuck and stream
Of a river. Quiet--
quietly sitting by a flowing river
Favourite Episode
I love, Beloved,
When laughter's mixture of joy
And hidden strike back.
i love this episode especially when the challenge to eat avocado seed happened
enjoy 🤣
Love Bond
Love bond, Beloved
By blood or vow is all gift
Embraced and nurtured.
me with my aunt on Oct 27
i paid a homage to my father’s sister in law, my beloved aunt
we call her Budhe Didi, a 90-year-old Javanese woman who is now the oldest elder from my father’s family line; my mother is the other one (80 years old)
she was very happy seeing me and said “send my best regard to your mother, please bring her here to me, i miss her so much, please finish your home soon so i can meet her in your house warming…. bla bla bla”
i could only say “please bless me”
she also reminded me to keep the bond among cousins, nieces and nephews even when all elders (someday) rest in peace
aja sampek kepaten obor (never lose our family bond); it is not an easy job in modern era but i think it is the right way
thank you
❣️
The Master
The Master, Beloved
Shows me how beauty is made
And destroyed. That's life.
Ibu Tien is a senior batik artisan who has been my main source of my Yogyakartan classical batik collection. As a Javanese I never want to even sit at the same level with a master; I will sit at least one level lower from them at least when being in a frame. 💕 She is about 15 years older than me. Other then her Mbak Izzah, Ibu Tien’s daughter in law is another master of Yogyakartan classical batik
Mbak Izzah preparing my package; this stack was not one-time haul, many of them are those started 2 years ago — yes, one sheet of batik can be processed up to two years, mine was because some colouring process was done in another city (Solo) and some batik makers had to pause the batik process to go to rice field (taking care and harvesting rice)
Wukir Sari, Imogiri, Oct 25, 2024
Mbak Fitri is a master of “batik nitik” who becomes my main facilitator for “batik nitik” collection. She is the one introducing me to the senior batik artisans who dedicate themselves to this tradition. I sat down on the floor and made her sit at the chair although she strongly refused; my respect to this master although younger than me. 💕
Mbak Fitri’s artisans at the studio
Bangun Jiwo, Kasihan, Oct 26, 2024
Flow
I am flowing
I flow
I will flow
And won't stop flowing
until I'm united with
You, the sea.
I'm not afraid.
I'm not too brave, either.
I am just a flow flowing.
as long as i flow, i won’t worry; even if i’m alone as long as i keep flowing to
You
When
When I feel helpless,
I will recite
Your loveliest verses
And send them as gifts
To those closest to my heart, whose life
Is a dedication to parents with
Love equivalent as what they received at childhood.
I am here, now
And lucky
So I shall share love
How subtle it has been.
Dear, Beloved.
Please accept my hollow heart for
You to fill with love,
And love only
How hard it has been.
i wish my ripples are of love and love only
Go Home
Where's home, Beloved?
Between colours in rainbow
Gliding where you are--
Nature of A Destroyer
What will the sun do?
Bring fresh life
Then maybe
Erase the life dry.
Is it nature of a destroyer?
No, Beloved.
It is a nature of paradox:
Sun refreshes, sun dulls.
Love rekindles, love terminates.
i saw this water lily blooming happily under the sun then the following week was swept by the scorching sun that gulped all water in its environment; i thought the sun destroyed the flower but actually pushing the cycle to proceed — paradoxical life
what a relief
💕
Innocent, Evergreen
There's something living forever
Young and energetic
Within,
Resisting to mature up,
Insisting to cheer up,
Refusing to touch up,
Singing down the path
With one old song
About a flowing river
To the sea
Peacefully unstoppable.
My innocent evergreen--
tompi jazzy
calm jazzy
the classic
reminding me of high school when i was so crazy about singing keroncong 😁
my placenta was let flow on a clay jar accompanied by flowers and other Javanese ceremonial items to Bengawan Solo; just its name this river shakes my heart, reminding me to keep flowing
matur sembah nuwun, Bengawan Solo
matur sembah nuwun, Pak Gesang
Light At Night
There's serenity
Under the dim light at night.
About I miss you--
dim light decorating night
Brewing Dream
Brewing dream, dear love
Is tea and water in kettle
And temperature.
tea leaf brewed with cinnamon this afternoon
chamomile tea brewed this morning
Slow & Steady
It' slow and steady,
Snails throw a party with me.
Everyone's happy.
look at how they party: slow and steady, they didn’t stop climbing up the plant but i didn’t see their movement but suddenly one was already up on one leaf — fascinating nature
Flow
Flow, Beloved
To where love brings
You.
There was a steep rock,
You fell again.
This time it might take longer
To flow calm.
Believe there won't be time dilation
And journey will be just fine.
nothing, it’s just a flowing river enjoying her journey
🤍
Bloom Wherever You Are
This flower blooms
In a hottest day,
In a beautiful garden,
In a cold hallway.
It just blooms
No matter what.
Just bloom
And come what may.
my driver dropped me in the wrong gate yesterday and just drove away; he drives very well but doesn’t understand English (yes, he is a driver not a tour guide 😁) yet it was a blessing in disguise: i walked a bit and met these flowers on the way — beauty greets me everywhere when my heart is light
red roses in the hotel courtyard, tantalising colour
a pot of orchid, to the lift
rike jokanan 
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