Tag: thankful

I Bow to The Divine in You

Learning, Poetic, This Person, Those People
The bow that launches
Is the arrow that is shot:
An exhibit by the
One
That honour is inevitably
Gorgeous
For that
Respecting
From that
Witnessing.

Salute to the bowstring.

——

I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada — I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in you and all my fellow Tapa Brata participants 🙏🏼

it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree — hope health and calmness be granted to all of us ♥️

Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him — the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect

canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection

torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center — yummy and fragrant when cooked

💚


Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didn’t talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.

Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation — they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop “ngereog” in the last 5 to 10 minutes.

My age doesn’t mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.

See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! 💕

ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someone’s intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress 😂

Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) — Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata 😄

pure friendship is such a magical bond 💕

Repeatedly Blessed

Learning, Poetic
Once again
Is a bonus
Becoming allowance
As it is
Again and again.

I wish another
After another
Again
And again
Until it is
Time to end.

——

‘M 48th tomorrow. ‘Ve never thought I would reach this age.

When I was 9, I almost died. When I was 24, I almost died. I thought I would die at 44. It’s been huge blessings to be given another year.

another door before another door, 48 means a door to victory

My wish is simpler this year. After all failures and broken hearts, I wish for a warm home and a good job. Those two mean happiness to me. With a warm home, I can host my family and good friends. With a good job, I can leverage my role to help others around me improve their well being.

Amen.

Thank you!

Calm Days

Learning, Poetic
A room that tells tale
Has hushed noise and busy mind.
Here comes the calm days.

——

Wibisana, a room that offers calmness — Balinese home is always my favourite getaway

there are two decorative pictures of Dewi Saraswati over the bed and two paintings of Balinese ladies among flowers on both walls — this Puri is where my mind does rest

💕

Who is Wibisana? A knight who flees his country to pay the cost of his partiality to the higher purpose of peace on earth

Fully Paid

Learning, love, Poetic
Journey becomes light
When promise is fully paid.
The breeze flows sweetly.

——

beautifully ready for melukat this morning to clean and clarify my life intension and for my dearest nephew ♥️ now his wish for melukat is fully paid — live happily in the other side, my dear 💕 and I have a good feeling that my life is on the right path with my heart losing no love

melukat in Tirtha Empul when it was still quiet this morning — no, I don’t like crowd 🙏🏼 don’t bring me to noisy parties!

Performance

Learning, Poetic
Life is a grand stage,
Performance is its main course,
I am dining out.

——

I am supposed to be in Ubud with my nephew who happened to pass away on Jul 30. So I do all the planned itinerary alone to keep my promise and to make him smile in heaven.

For you, Vito the fun witty kind artistic boy!

💕

a bridge over a lotus garden heading to Puri Saraswati Temple front yard where Janger Dance with Arjuna Tapa as part of performance is on every evening

lucky this evening I am sitting in a seat right in the middle of the front row — feeling lucky and blessed

start!

Arjuna in his meditation apparel (white)

buta, one of some seducers while Arjuna is meditating

the end

The Love & The Logic

Learning, Poetic
This love is as strong as the glue
A snail can spit on an aloe vera
To cling even in a hottest day.
Your logic is as cold as the air
A morning can loosen nature’s desire
In a split second love will go away.

This love is unrequited,
That logic always wins.
Our bond is thinly formatted
As hair splitting to twins.

It is just a dream, 
Though dream of a meadow.
It is truly a wish,
Yet wish of a shadow.

Love will open a bundle of joy.
Logic will open a bundle of satisfaction.

They are happy differently.

Understood—

——

reminding me of how strong love can bond a heart to a dream that won’t come true ♥️

dear heart, release…. the logic will never let you win 🙏🏼

Slow

Learning, Poetic
World will not tell her
How to slow. It just moves on
And counts each moment.

——

back to back trips, luggage is all packed — 2 weeks then 1 week then 2 days

am I always ready to go? physically yes, but my soul still wants to linger in this plane

💕

Diagonally (Batik Parang)

Learning, Poetic
Diagonally
Between axes: x and y.
Dynamic and free—

——

Batik Parang Rusak

As one of the oldest patterns in Java island, “batik parang” is loaded with wisdom of life. Designed by one VVIP in Mataram, Panembahan Senopati, it is not surprising that this pattern is considered special and sacred.

Parang was previously a “larangan” pattern meaning that this pattern was allowed to wear only by royal family in certain occasion/function. Nowadays it is worn by anyone loving it; yet in Java island almost no one will wear it for wedding functions — most Javanese believe that wearing batik parang will bring negative impact and disputes among the family of the bride’s and groom’s and/or bring inharmonious life to the marriage.

The word “parang” was adopted from the word “pereng” that means the slope or the cliff of a mountain/hillside or the steep of a shore so that is why it is diagonally structured. The word “lereng” is also used to name this batik to show the same meaning with “pereng”.

Basic shape of “parang” pattern is an “S” connecting to one another with an angle of 45 degree. This signifies unbroken wavy lines. They are silently moving like waves that are able to move anything at certain level of the ocean surface. The waves will move as long as there are winds. The winds will not stop as long as there are movement of pressures in the air. And the pressures will sustain as long as there are celestial bodies especially the sun interacting with the earth. Forever — until death do us apart.

Some people say “parang” also means “perang” or war in Englihs but I am not into that discussion. Linguistically “parang” should never be “perang” in Javanese. It just happened to be historically told that this “batik parang” was worn by soldiers returning from war (“perang” in Javanese) to show the king that they won. So, it doesn’t suit my logic to call “parang” as “perang”.

Parang Barong handmade, my collection from “Barong Gung”, an original brand from Tulungagung

From all symbols I agree above, I’ve learnt lessons from “batik parang”.

Here it is.

1. Don’t give up

Like waves in the ocean, we should not stop. Just feel the winds and move. FInd your wind and move unstoppably! Live like moving waves, playfully and flexibly responding to the different pressure of air. Push the ships to destination shore. Let the pressure be an activating force, not a demotivating factor.

2. Sustain

Connecting S — it is unbroken S’ surfing on the waves. Good behaviours and attitude generated from objective contemplation and reflection should sustain. It takes a good management system to sustain good practices in an institution including life.

Let’s make a management system more human-based. 🙂

There should be values adopted by a human being — no value, no valuable life.

Values in life (useful link): https://liveboldandbloom.com/11/self-improvement/values-in-life

From the values there is born a boundary. If I value friendship, I will make sure I act as a fair friend to everyone around me. What is fair: take and give (might not be 50/50 but I won’t be happy if it is imbalanced 70/30 and above, and never about material needs sharing).

From the boundary there will be discerning of pros and cons. If I set a boundary, I am listing a do’s and don’ts based on the pros and cons around my boundary. From the do’s and don’ts, there shall be born priorisation of action. You can do this but not that. You can do this first, that later. 

From the prioritation of actions there shall be a materialization of consistent decision to choose preferred actions. And….

… The preferred actions are to be observed and surveilled. Who observes or surveils? And how?

Who: Ourselves, our family, our friends, our community, our environment, angels, god and godess, universe, ultimate creator.

How: through re-evaluation of values — this it tricky as it can be as easy as making immediate decision of the day or as complicated as trial and error the whole life

Then go back to setting boundary, etc, etc…. A cycle of self love 💕

Management system (useful link): https://www.iso.org/management-system-standards.html

2 pieces of collection from Batik Keris — it is a printed batik, not handmade (black: modern Batik Parang; white: Batik Parang Sekar Jati)

3. Agility, Noble Ideals & Loyality

Agility: Only when I am agile, I can surf the waves of life. My life is not others’ life so the waves are not the same. Your waves might be taller than mine but they might not make you higher quality than me if you don’t develop agility to surf your life; as a result my life seems easier and nicer although I have to deal with more beasts below my wave while you have nothing under yours. And of course vice versa– 💕

Noble Ideals: Only those having values can believe with noble ideals. And having noble ideals make human beings believe that whatever situation life gives them, there are always meanings to deploy. And it is meanings in life that make human beings live with no regret although they know that their role in this vast universe is just a tiny teeny weeny mini (almost unseen) dot.

Loyalty: Only if I am loyal to my values, I can sustain life. The life I run might not be the most dreamt one; yet it is the best-suited one for me with all the pluses and minuses.

my collection of handmade Batik Parang coloured in natural colouring agents from Mbak Izzah, the daughter in law of Ibu Tien the best batik artisan from Imogiri

Care to try wearing “batik parang”? 💕

Salam.

Friends

Learning, Poetic
My friends are plants grown in a garden called
My heart.

Grow as you wish.
As you are.
There are only two rules here:
Be you responsibly
And root strongly.
Otherwise, you’ll
Get weak
Then withered.
And
Dry
Then....

——

I wrote a poem in Bahasa Indonesia in my iPhone about FRIENDS while enjoying today’s lunch: And just now when opening Twitter, I found a thread about 12 levels of friends described in Arabic.

My day is summed up!

All is connected.

💕

Picked

Learning, life, Poetic
Pick ones, Beloved
That this heart has been singing,
Soul is caressing.
Give gifts to those genuine:
Not those clean— those to self true.

——

i won’t make others pick for me even my fave bookstore 🙂

card decks for my friend in Ubud

some friends are religious and reading, so books are gift for them

got one for my birthday 👀🥹

Hidden Gems

Learning, Poetic
Hidden gems
Shan’t be found
By those admiring surface.
Let it be kept undercover,
Shining within
The hearts of
The true lovers.

——

Dewi Larasati (named Rarasati in her childhood) is one of female characters in Javanese wayang whose personality is described as pleasant, patient, understanding and of good self control. She is unpopularly one of female wayang characters with military skill. She is good at handling keris and archery. She is allegedly as skillful as her husband, Arjuna.

Note: Dewi can mean goddess in Javanese. It can also simply mean or indicate that the person given that Javanese name is a female. Dewa is for male.

Dewi Larasati in black and white

Dewi Larasati is a humble woman and is so humble that she doesn’t want to announce her military skill until one day she is called by his husband to show her archery skill in from of Srikandi (his other wife). On that day everyone starts to know that Dewi Larasati’s archery expertise is outstanding, much better than Srikandi who is allegedly the best female archer in Javanese wayang and the bravest female heroine of all.

Dewi Larasati is then declared the one having as good skill as Arjuna’s, the best archer in Javanese wayang. Yet she never boasts of being as good as her husband in archery. She chooses to be the queen of the knight of war and mindfulness Arjuna, the beloved mother of her two sons, Bambang Sumitra and Branatalaras, the aunt of Pandawa’s offsprings.

Dewi Larasati facing left direction

While people like to talk about Dewi Larasati from that angle, I like talking about her from different one. To me I prefer to play dictions so disecting the word “Rarasati” and “Larasati” is another option.

Rarasati is a combination of 2 Javanese words: raras and ati.
Raras means feel, feeling, thought, thinking
Ati means heart
So rarasati can mean the feel of a heart or the thought of a heart or a feeling heart or a thinking heart

Larasati is a combination of 2 Javanese words: laras and ati.
Laras means song, singing, chat, chanting, reciting, recitation,
Ati means heart
So larasati can mean the song of a heart or a singing heart.

Dewi Larasati facing right direction

I always think Dewi Larasati’s parents’s naming her “larasati” because of their dream to have children who are willing to use the heart to feel and think the reality and to listen to their own self to balance the power of the loudness of material world.

With my simple utterance about the word “rarasati” and “larasati” I can imagine Dewi Larasati is a hidden gem that needs no disclosure as undercover she is already glowing. With her excellence she accepts to be less well-known than Srikandi, the archery heroine. With humbleness she accepts to be less popular than Sembadra, Arjuna’s second wife, while Dewi Larasati is the first wife of that bloody handsome knight Arjuna. Please note although I admire Arjuna’s high quality of meditation and nationalism, I curse his being a womaniser.

Anyway this is not about Arjuna, it is about Dewi Larasati, a humble intelligent woman whose identity is underrated because of her unpopularity like a hidden gem that is kept low key by those loving and protecting her.

Ahh! Is the above discussion culturally relevant? Or is it just this person who idolises those unpopular gems in life?

It doesn’t matter. This is just a different point of view about an old fact.

💕

Salaam.

Dewi Larasati on a batik scarft designed by Dudung Aliesyahbana, batik maestro from Pekalongan, Central Java

Luxury

Learning
Luxury, my love
Makes your stars blink but not glow.
Show your true colours.

——

“The Devil Wears Prada” is one of 97 purchased movie in my cloud because I would watch those movies again and again and again either because of loving them or not quite understanding them with one play. This movie was based on a novel with the same title.

Watching “The Devil Wears Prada” for more than 4 times doesn’t bore me, not because I like fashion (I like clothes but not that fashion fashion) but because I like the story — Andrea ‘Andy’ Sachs (main character, protagonist) the humble smart who was derailed from her nature as shaped through her work performance demanded by her boss Miranda Priestly finally found her “way home”.

This movie was released in 2006. I watched it in the same year for the first time then bought it from Apple Store in 2017 the until now rewatch it when I want.

This is a movie that has made me stopped buying bags and watches that were not really needed. Pile of bags didn’t make me happier; luckily I don’t have to look fashionable at work so leaving the impressive bags at home never makes me and my work go less. Queue of watches are not necessary anymore with my beloved Apple Watch.

Another thing that this movie has taught me is to be true to myself even if others are not. It is not easy as there are human beings living around me who have been nurtured in environments where competition is sharp or where winning is the only choice to live or where listening is not to understand but to answer, where genuineness is not paramount — yet it is not that challenging to be true for me as most of those around me also try their best to behave ethically.

In the movie Andy was at the brink of identity crisis when she realised than being successful is not only about sitting on a pedestal that is looked up by many or about ruling a territory; being successful can be sitting among the tribe and working hand in hand on the ground to achieve team’s goal or getting recognition as ethical although not popular or learning to be honest to self everyday with failure and achievements. In other words it is not only a gain outside like promotion, bonus, recognition and the like; but it is also an internal cultivation of getting more mature, clarified, self acceptance, relationship and the like.

Thank you, “The Devil Wears Prada”. Because of you I dug further what brands are truly sustainable based on environment and labor protection and what are putting sustainability as mannequin in display.

A lot more in this movie tells me to realise that “brands and luxurious life don’t define who I truly am”.

So am I still buying those with (prominent) brands (that I can conveniently afford to but)? Yes, but only those truly walking what they are talking and they are mostly not the highest end. Very very few and very very occasional. Unfortunate for them yet fortunate for me—

Some other time I probably want to write about a few.

Salaam.

💕

watched it again just now

Carang Gesing (Javanese Food)

Learning

Cooking is a sweet distraction from a busy mind. To me

💕

About CARANG GESING

cooking is a sweet distraction; and this is sweeeeeet!!!

done!

steam for 30’

5

4

3

2

1

my tweak for carang gesing — sago pearl

i didn’t use egg

Half and Half

Learning, Poetic

Do you know,
Beloved…?
In the middle of a water
Tossing wildly a Land
Stretching like a tail,
Tinted with merry tiny blossoms
Willing to smile
In May summed up are they.
Bearing light fragrance
Infusing air elegantly
For you, only for you—


Do you also know,
Beloved…?
I lullaby some seeds
That wake up lazily,
Stretch to the sky
Then sprinkle perfumes
With thousands of flowers
In the 9th month
Being warm and fuzzy
In the other half
For you, only for you—

For you
Whether to take
Or to give up.
There is no heaviness in a no.
There is no lightness in a yes.
There is pain in silence.
Yet life is so rich,
There is always cure
For any wound.
Let poems sing heart songs
For you, only for you.

——

Angel without Wings

Learning
How do you call you
Loving expecting no pay?
Only the mother—

——

today i called her after she said that she could not sleep remembering Vito, the grandson who just passed away

this lady is impressively patient and loving her grandchildren; losing him has never been easy

she tried to hide her cry from me but her voice could not lie

if i can tell anyone about someone to never forget, it must be about mother

love her, don’t disappoint her ever again as there might have been a lot of troubles from us when we were younger

i love you, Ibu

Shape of Heart

Learning, Poetic
Sprinkles of petalS
Sway from the sky gracefully
Calling name of yours.

——

genji pie that shapes like heart or rose petal or whatever beautifully seen by eyes

genji pie, aside from the shape the taste is also good to me

genji pie has inspired me to love

About genji pie

Multiply

Learning, Poetic
Multiplied and blessed
Is numbers nature has sent
To a heart that smiles.

——

flying back from Narita

flying out from Changi

i believe that whatever shared is multiplied — at least those who enjoy it are multiplied

keep multiplying and blessing!

♥️

Pilgrimage

Learning, life, love, Map It!, Poetic, This Person
This life’s pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.

——

a mosque in Tokyo — Tokyo Jamii (Camii)

entrance — assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii

mosque area – 2nd floor

i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it

the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines

a feeling of home 💕

then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking — she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me 😁 thank you 💕

time to fly home — thank you, Tokyo 💕

you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars