Green is forever On the belt of this round earth. How would I leave it?
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It is green that makes things fresh and refreshing. When I was young, I thought being young was too long a time and I wanted to grow older soon so that I could wear my eldest sister’s beautiful skirts and dresses. Now I’m old, I feel that there was so much I should have done that I’ve missed. If given the chance to get back to that period, I would be this me but with a little more shade of patience and enjoyed everything with no fear. Alas! I thank God though that I don’t have to get back to that period as there were incidents I never want to re-experience at any cost.
Being green being young, I’ll keep it in heart and soul. Let my body weaken, but my inner stays fresh without boredom to spread the vibes like the khatulistiwa which stays green as long as human beings want to breathe fresh air.
May all beings be happy. 💝
corn soup – green lunch, dinner, between lunch and dinner on it one whole day 😜“bubur sumsum pandan ijo” – green brunch, lunch, dinner, snack on it one whole day 🙃
Cool breeze sweeps dry leaves, Branches stretch to where Wind blows. Where do you go, Wind?
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How can I ignore my own silence? How can I listen to the noise more? It is tiring to leave my own self behind, I’m doing it though. I haven’t trusted my self. 🙃
This mind acts like dry leaves, scrambling frantically just because of cool breeze. Sometimes it moves lazily in panic pulled by strong wind, changing directions every now and then. Lightly and heavily moving because of doubt and fear of failure—
Trust is what can help. Trust that there is a net catching me when I free fall. Trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel although I haven’t seen it yet. Trust that I’m in process, not lost.
Trust is a light word, weighing as heavy as an unmovable mountain.
Empty jar with air, Looks empty? I breathe the air, Beloved. Empty?
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Empty isn’t always as it is, depending on which eyes one is using to scrutinise the reality. Reality? Debatable indeed. What is seen isn’t fact yet; it is still a perspective.
So, don’t worry too much about how they perceive others. It’s not a fact, it’s a bunch of perspectives that can change based on where they stand.
Being empty is often needed. Imagine getting constipated for one week. The only thing to dream of will be emptying stomach.
Only, Beloved, Unnecessary limit. Roam. Do celebrate.
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Weekend always opens my eyes to see that life isn’t only about balancing or fulfilling. Life is sometimes about emptying what’s full and making regular things odd, because celebrating is about putting one more milestone where a journey restarts.
September, thank you for giving me many signs which I can and cannot read. The unread is queueing to be deciphered. Wish you give me the answers so I can have more celebrations in life.
May all beings be happy…. 💝
my dream is to cook my own biryani soon, now eating it from the store is a dream-come-true – I didn’t see the need of unpacking it. Hajaaaar! 😄🥰
If you love yourself, Fry some eggs, sit on the porch, Think of fried chicken.
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When eating egg, why thinking about chicken? This mind is a monkey— nimble and energetic when awake. It only sleeps, when the holder is dead. I’m still alive so let the mind move freely, with a fence right on an edge of a cliff.
Happy weekend!
🐥🐣
yum yum!beautiful tamagoyaki my version 🙊🙉🙈isn’t it too big?3 to 4
Hunger, Beloved, A good friend. Not starving though— The latter’s killing.
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Hungry is needing and nurturing; starving is craving and suffering. Knowing what is needed becomes significant; be just hungry, not extremely hungry that causes craving for more than the capacity.
…. In another case, love. Don’t demand. Universe know what you deserve. 💝
I’m a happy birthday-clown; ready to kiss the world and kick the other side of it. 👻
Welcome one new cycle. Give me good surprises, the bad are all expired!
Salam….
today’s early dinner, also this year’s celebration – many happy return! was it hunger or starvation? 😛
Beauty, Beloved, Prescribed by culture; differed Through one’s perspective—
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When I was young, I faced difficulty in describing beauty. It was always society’s perspective taken. A question of “why beauty is so rigid” remained preserved.
Getting more mature, I got more freedom to describe what beauty was and found there was wider spectrum of what beauty was.
Now beauty is in everything everywhere as the eyes are not only seeing things through what’s culturally ascribed or prescribed. They have achieved a point that what are unlimitedly created can be freely appreciated. And, so is beauty—
We are created by The Beautiful who loves beauty. Why would not see all through the eyes of the creator?
May all beings be happy.
not perfectly beautiful coz it would dig my wallet too deeply if I wanted more; this is perfectly matched my beautiful day though and that’s perfect! 💝
Glory, Beloved, Living doubts by loving hopes. Time is my beacon.
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Reading the holy book, I found time is used to testify for many different things in different verses. Night, morning, dawn, dusk, time, moments, etc are used repeatedly in a lot of diction. It shows how important and powerful time is.
By the ˹passage of˺ time! Surely humanity is in ˹grave˺ loss, except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Al-‘Ashr/The Declining Time)
Time is that precious that it is scripted as proverb in some culture. Time is money in a culture that indicates people will lose money if they don’t manage the time well. Time is sword in another one that indicates only when sharpened, it will effectively work in a battle. In other cultures time is integrated in the life schedule related to seasons and celebrations.
What is time to this person? Not money, not sword. Time is a sign telling to start, to stop, to pause, to continue, to turn, to go straight or to take U-turn. Time is a when falling on to a nice where to create a moment of truth.
As long as the beacon beams its light, I’ll continue the journey.
Even if forever? Yes, even if forever as I know forever is a count down.
Good heart, Beloved, What blossoms her life. Always. Bright light in the dark—
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Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though
With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.
Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.
May all beings be happy.
Salaam….
where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝
Life is eternal. Strand of dimensions through time Bargained with good deeds Also sins. How long? You guess. Till creation’s obsolete?
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September is the month when age becomes major contemplation.
How can I get older yet be more stupid?
There is a consistent concern: that the older I am, the more things I don’t know. This impression grows stronger every year. There is only one getting better: forgetting people’s names. 😎
Will there be a world where I’m not getting older, not getting younger but growing better and brighter? I don’t know….
The convo with this good friend has always left me in deep thoughts about my own self especially in September. Thanks for the chat and good contemplation, Mbak Nungki.
Canna, you’re a maze. An intricate bright beauty— May I have jasmine?
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Some people behave like a maze alive. While impressing others with beautiful look, fascinating sweetness, deathly charms; they often hide the truest true.
Perhaps they are not ready with vulnerability as a result of experiences of untrue relationships. Or, the worst scenario is they have hidden agenda.
While it works wonder in literary or art (some authors or artists want anonymity or pseudonymity, and their works are better sold), it won’t work in friendship. It will be a total failure to some extent.
What are people trying to hide from those called closest friends…. if at the end the untruthfulness stops the friendship from functioning well? Why should ones be pretending?
To someone who is being forced by life for a seclusion: Please be strong and learn to be vulnerably honest about yourself to your own self. Wish you the best of the best. You’re a butterfly in the making. 💝
May all beings be happy….
canna lily, “bunga tasbih” in Indonesian, the intricate bright beautyjasmine sambac, “bunga melati” in Indonesian, the simple humble beauty
The play-smart mind told me “Find what’s the cause.”
The relaxed mind of me replied “Alamak… It’s just a metal.”
The play-pretty mind said “But it is now less pretty!”
The play-wise mind said “Small one. I’m just being careless. Ok!”
The greedy mind said “That’s a good reason to buy new ones!”
From behind the door, the naive one said “Why so noisy? It doesn’t kill.”
…… #@$%^&*!
And the core is just smiling, not even opening its eyes.
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When talking to one’s own self, one should be ready to feel like crazy inside because one will suddenly realise even within one there are this one and that one, each of whom is craving for attention and needing entertainment.
Get entertained instead and they’ll be the most attractive acrobatics!
May all beings be happy.
dear dream catchers, I won’t buy new ones – you’ll stay as long as the dreams are flowing and vibrating 💕
Do you want to know, Beloved? He’s an Angel, Outcasted. Fallen Of jealousy, arrogance. So is your pride, Beloved?
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I was sitting on my bike checking the left side of AirPods that was not well connected and so lost the audio when someone stopped by and asked,”Are you lost? What way are you trying to find?”
“Oh no, no, no. I’m checking my audio.”
“Oh, I thought you’re lost ha… See map or what haha”
“No, no. Thank you, thank you, Uncle!”
His question “are you lost” reminded me to one who used to live in an exquisitely designed place called heaven and because of losing one’s clear thinking, one was outcasted. One became incompatible with one’s original position.
Who is that one? Those who read religious history of human creation might know, yet I’m not interested to think of the individual. One’s characters, actions and the implication become more relevant to ponder in my situation at that time.
And it calmed me down.
Sometimes losing pride is so significant to a human being. Sometimes failure to show one’s dignity or ability becomes the core of the day. Others’ perception has overridden the real importance of a success itself, or an action. In that situation someone can turn into a jealous, arrogant, irrational who thinks of two: fight or flight, while one should simply stay calm and collected.
Underestimation or humiliation if accepted positively might be simply inability to perceive what is or misunderstanding of self love. In short only those without knowledge and love will underestimate or humiliate others.
Why should I be upset? What a waste!
I don’t want to outcast my own self from the beauty of being a human being just because of forgetting who this person really is. Forget about jobs or credentials; both are not significant when alone meeting with one’s self.
I don’t want to ignore what’s happening inside just because of my own or others’ perceptions. Let them say I’m low; I’m not low although I’m never high. Let them say I’m nothing; I’m not nothing although I’m nobody. Let them say I’m meaningless; I’m not meaningless although I don’t mean to be the most meaningful of all.
Oh Lord, thanks for sending me an old wise man to show the other side of a coin.
Thanks for making me a human being so I won’t live forever outcasted in arrogance and jealousy.
Dear, Arrogance. Dear, Jealousy. Although not forever, you are still living here now comfortably. Be tamed for me.
Your life, Beloved, Isn’t about happiness. Find meanings in it.
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When seeing the definition of happiness in most of this life time, I found that many of the items in the bucket were material. Wanting to have this, to buy that, to get $, to add more travel destinations, and so on and so forth. I saw life was a storage of hoarded things.
When doing so, I mostly forgot the importance essence in what I did. Peaceful mind, wise decisions, appreciation to self for working hard, tapping shoulders for being able to control negative emotions, breathing slowly of the air in different places, and so on and so forth. I took it for granted until I found those have given me deeper serenity.
Last week there was time when I felt annoyed with something, giving me back the terrible headache I hadn’t had for so long. I drew the curtain and found that the sky was not collapsed yet then I whispered a thank-you. Gradually I felt calm again and new ideas popped up like bubbles from a fish mouth.
It takes just 3 seconds to bring back good mood.
May all beings be happy.
sometimes what you need to do is just drawing the curtain….…. to see life isn’t about the happiness you define; it’s broader than that, it’s about how your existence is not for nothing 🪶
Ahead or behind? Life isn’t racing, but game Chasing each other— Enjoy! There’s no finish line. You rest whenever you want.
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Isn’t it fun to enjoy life like enjoying a game which happy children do? We run. We laugh. We scream. We forget about sadness and anxiety. No one forces us to do it. We can slip in the circle whenever we want and take a break when getting tired.
Today’s chat was a bit serious, about how hard it is to be genuinely ourselves in the middle of many who try to find what’s not us. My good friend said that some people have experienced so much or so many lies that they can’t take honesty anymore. They can only accept lies. I agree with her in some way; I’ve met some of that type.
This type of people will always try to investigate who you are even after you disclose who you truly are. An auditor should do that because it is a profession, but a friend should not do that because friendship is based on trust.
I’m lucky to have trusted some of good friends in life and they have trusted me for the same reason. The reason is enjoying life as a game in true friendship, not in competition.
Value, Beloved, Not only talked; also walked— White cane of the blind
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One teacher said talking and walking the value consistently is one of the safest way of life. Challenging though especially where many are unknown or unfamiliar—
Yet it takes integrity to stay in a value.
“Hey! What about economical value? Political value?“ asked the students.
Teacher said,”When it is about taking advantage from others, we’d better not call it value.”
“What would you call it then?”
“Hmm…. I don’t know, whatever you call it as long as you don’t harm yourself and others.”
“Sometimes those who know don’t know….,” said one student whispering almost no voice.
“Some things just don’t have exact name. They are simply known and felt,”said the teacher in the heart smiling and walking ahead.
Aah! It takes a journey to be a student. It takes a journey to be a teacher. The same journey, different lessons 💝
Fungi, Beloved, Connects roots of trees on earth. How do you connect?
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I saw a cluster of mushrooms and wonder what they were discussing. Maybe they were weaving cables beneath the grass sending messages among trees around, like human beings sending iMessages and emails to each other. Or maybe like soul sending good energy in unison in silence—
Blessings, Beloved, Accepting with no review— See it differently.
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Today’s short message from a wise friend takes one of the longest thought. Lucky me for being alone so the time and space is serving just me.
Sometimes our emotion isn’t our emotion. It might be someone else’s that sits in us because some people entrust the emotions to us when sharing their burden to us. Believe it or not there is exchange of energy when beings are interacting with each other. We get sad when our family is sad. We are upset when our best friends are betrayed. We can be devastated when our pets pass away. The scale of the impact depends on how deeply they get hurt and/or how vulnerable we are to them. As simple as that.
When I asked this good friend why people or incidents are not avoidable although I’ve made best effort to stay away. Her message is “karma”. She is a Buddhist so that reply is her logical response. Besides I see the logic of karma thing.
Although I can’t tangibly prove that I live repeated lives, I live in karma system. If I do good, I get good. I do no good, I get no good. Simple and straightforward forward— whether the cause is the good one in the past affecting the current situation; or the present good deed affecting the future (not necessarily related to repeated life), that’s a certainty
But why the karma isn’t working as one to one? No, karma works like someone who plants mango seed – one mango seed will only give its fruits when it’s ready and the one seed will give the farmer hundreds of mango fruits. That karma. Alamak….!
So what should I do, Bude? I asked my friend.
Her message (translated into English word by word): that is your task of compassion.
So?
Accept it. Grow more good seeds that bad one. Pour clean water to your jug that is filled with dirty water until the jug is overflown with clean water and the dirty is flushed out.
So I can’t avoid them and don’t need to avoid them. The only thing I should do is to accept them without review. The only mandatory review is to my own emotions; understanding whether the emotion is my emotion or unnecessary impact that happens because of weak protection membrane around my own self.
This is not new thing for all of us. Yet 2020 and 2021 have been field of emotional battle in which I’ve learnt how to identify my own and others’. What a period! I wish all is getting better with the upcoming birthday. Amen.
So lucky to have good friends who are willing to accompany me in this journey.
Dear God, love me and love all my good friends. Thank you for giving the blessings of friendship, true one with true one. Please let me stay in the true one.
Salaam.
wherever the directions, the end is love and compassion, nothing else – if we accept it
You are, Beloved, A complete self who finds new Self one at a time.
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A philosopher once said that change is the only constant and others agreed with the statement. When we see change as tangibility yes, I totally agree.
Yet about growth of self I have my own comprehension. Do I change? Yes, I get thinner or fatter, older with wrinkles and lines not younger, slower, weaker physically, less sharp sight, and so on and so forth. So I change? No, I’m still the same person with the same DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth, or other possible constants.
Not only that….
I believe I’m always this full yet I discover this self more and more everyday. With deeper and deeper understanding, wider and wider disclosure I have lived and accepted life.
Personally everyone is granted with talents, DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth. No one can deny those. No one can escape even one hates those and wishes to have been born someone else. Sorry, you can’t! Embrace the personality.
Yet everyone is given opportunity to build identity.
What did I want myself to be?
What did I not want to be associated with?
How did I want others to perceive me?
How did I not want others to treat me?
What?
How?
Whom do I want to enter my life?
Who will be part of my inner circle I want?
Whom?
Who?
Why have I done this and that? This is a very important question to even know the unbroken chains that has brought me to this state.
Am I still I am? Yes, definitely a constant! But am I me? No, you’re a different you since you’ve embraced constant self discovery.
😏
Me: Saturday night, keep me safe and warm.
Saturday night: You’ll be safe and warm if you finish your laundry and mop the floor. No one will do it!
Me: (losing all suddenly-pretending-to-be-wise act and thought)
Saturday night: 🤪 capek deh….!
May all beings be happy.
pretty sword lilies and asiatic lilies – sorry, not today, no budget!!!
Time flies, Beloved Wraps a flying plane. Bless me At my travel end.
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Finally met my Sensei again after some time! In June I took a break because of some sickness and work. In July and early August she did because she had to take care of her family who were infected with the virus.
We didn’t open the book at all last night. Only a happy reunion checking what had happened for the past 2.5 months without meeting just some hello via messaging. Conversation flew about language, culture and personal experience dealing with both.
At one point she interestingly described about pleasure and purpose that compose happiness.
She decided to retire from her position as a VIP in one of the biggest business empire in the world before she was 40. She knew that she could not work forever and she wanted her own self not her age to decide when she had to quit. She thought she was ready and here she is now, an independent woman with a lot of personal projects and teaching Japanese with a style!
When she worked, she did with all her heart. She didn’t involve herself in office politics that made her not a social darling but definitely made her a genuine and independent loyal. She made decision with wisdom and integrity that made her a leader-maker but at the same time a strong gate of ethics. And she shined in her own way!
A sun is a sun when it knows when it rises and sets. And my Sensei is one.
She said it was a pleasure to work in her position with much luxury but she left because she didn’t see the real purpose she was serving. She was rich but true happiness was missed. She moved out from her luxurious apartment in the heart of Jakarta and rent it out, and moved to her mother’s home – a home full with flowers and good neighbours in East Jakarta. She restarted balancing pleasure and purpose.
Pleasure makes someone’s life sustain but without purpose there is no true sustainability. When one outgrows the other, happiness tank isn’t optimised. Pleasure and purpose is also a blend of colours that creates a perfect hue.
When I said whether she was afraid of losing the grip for having no routine, she said yes for the first two months of her early retirement; she felt somewhat regret of giving up the corporate vibe. She felt like cutting herself off from the world. In those two months she just went out eating, driving, cleaning the house. And after that her life started to bloom in different ways.
She found many more opportunities that she didn’t even know existing. And she is still rich with more leisure time and true friends. She said life is miracle.
Before pandemic she often traveled to smaller islands in the archipelago as a volunteer and annually visited Japan as her old habit. She said she wants to continue that after the pandemic is over, when Heaven knows.
When I said I wish I could do it, she said no. She said what I’m doing is what she dreamt of in corporate life before: having the pleasure of working with purpose. Conversation went more even livelier, we skipped the Japanese lesson and shared about our dreams. A more interesting class!
Last night was one of the great time in life when the feeling of balance surrounds me.
It was 1:07am when we finally said good bye. See you next week, Sensei! Thanks for the lessons.
Life is full of Teachers. Learn from them. But don’t forget the Master in you, live with one with love.
I want to want I want to not want I don’t want to want I don’t want to not want
Which one am I now?
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As long as I’m human being, I won’t be able to deny the want and not want. It’s not the verb, it’s the subject. A complication of thinking!
I don’t want to love you but I want to free myself to love one staying in the heart. That’s perfection!
In fact the struggle seems like a perfect circle when two ends collides: things don’t always happen as expected. Then what appears is that the simplicity of acceptance is above perception.
Simplicity is the crown of perfection. 💝
Alhamdulillah….
just do things right – when you’re angry, be angry but just do it right
Good vibes, Beloved, Contagious and precious Keep it the longest.
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Years ago….. One teacher said “You do whatever you want to, but make sure what you do doesn’t harm….” Impatiently student asked,”Harmful to whom?” Teacher didn’t say anything, just pointed to one’s chest then head, and said “Go play and don’t harm yourself or your friends. Have fun, you’re good. You’re good, my child,”
Another teacher would just sang some traditional songs then explained the meaning that were full of wisdom when asked questions. Those silly children would ask so many questions about why religions were many and different, how many gods were there, why the teacher didn’t have religion, why, why, why…..
Another teacher just asked us to eat what one was cooking when we asked questions. We just did and enjoyed the food. It happened when our questions were about what Mr A or Mrs B did this and that for.
More teachers, more experiences…. And we all grew up becoming human beings who approach different things differently or sometimes uniquely although sometimes confusedly. How challenging life is sometimes!
All those learnings happened in the Wonderland! I hope the young get honourable and good teachers as we did before and even better so they build our land into real wonder! Not the most developed in infrastructure, yet with the most developed clear thinking. Not the most modern, yet the most dignified. Not the richest, yet the most caring and loving to the people. What a dream!
rike jokanan 
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