graphs of my Universe
Saturday night, Love
Keeps her radiant and calm
In a place called heart.
I became hungry and decided to slice carrot, beet root and chayote for salad.
For this Saturday night’s calm vibe, I sliced shallot, chili, lemon grass and kefir lime leaves then sauté them in coconut oil added with shrimp block.
Alhamdulillah yum yum❣️
May 2 is a special day. It is Indonesia’s National Education Day at the same time the date when my father passed away.
I pray for him always. Yet on his birthday and on his death day I recite special prayer for him.
My father
Is a book mark
With which I remember
Where I should restart.
He is not part of the book,
But with him reading would feel so light.
It's timed, Beloved
That that evolves. It won't last.
How blessed I'm mortal.
I admire
You
Beyond words.
When you demand more,
I use thick dictionaries and thesaurus across the universe to praise
You.
The silence is more eloquently accurate than any word can say.
Redreshed, Beloved
By love sprouting from within
A mother called Earth--
I often freshen and refresh my body by drinking “jamu”, the Javanese herbal medicine or herbal drink that I mostly concoct with my own hands.
Life list, Beloved,
Not about glory or lost.
It's what truly costs.
I used to list what I wanted to do. Every year I made the list longer until I stopped as I’ve found primary list that I won’t forget to make come true.
One of them is writing my own book (I’ve written with friends in anthology books) so I’m working on it.
Another one is having a home where family and friends feel the true selves in them. My first house was but as it is located not in a preferred place, I decided to make a new one. Working on it–
Many more and I’m working on all of them.
They might come true or not as age is not predictable yet at least I’m working on all of them.
Sooner or later
Amen
What's origami?
Paper in a pair of hands,
Finding its beauty--
Head piece, Beloved
What I've kept in head and heart.
Always about you--
Bulang Mandailing – a head piece for woman of Mandailing ethnic group
Suntiang Gadang – a head piece for woman of Minang ethnic group
Dear Home,
Welcome me
With your warm heart
That beats with love,
And trust.
Do you know how I miss
You?
Your walls with my paintings,
Your ceiling with the down light,
Your floor with shine after vacuum,
Your roof after washed by rain,
Your fragrance that is me.
How are you?
Are you as spacious as before installed with furniture?
I won't add more.
Are you serene after some music played?
I won't play more.
Are you bright after curtain hung?
I won't put those too thick.
I hope you're still a home
Even after I come.
Even I hope you become more homey
After that.
Please know
I only wanted those loving to be here
But then that's not fair.
So you'll see bad people around,
I promise that won't be long and make sure one will only visit once,
And only very few.
Vibe clear!
So only those with clarity want to stay long.
Please know
I want fireflies to be around at night
So you'll be pretty with the tiny bright dots blinking cheerfully.
Please know, dear
Home
That you are built now
By this wandering self
With a loving hope
To meet
You
Very soon.
Dear,
Home.
listening to this song this whole day; yes I can do it to any song that builds a good mood
Sal Priadi’s songs sound like romantic mantra to me especially this one
The strength is his lyrics: simple yet poetic
Lyrics
Kita usahakan rumah itu
Dari depan akan tampak sederhana
Tapi kebunnya luas
Tanamannya mewah, megah
Kita usahakan rumah itu
Dari depan akan tampak sederhana
Tapi dibuat kuat
Dirancang muat, lega
Urusan perabotan dan wangi-wangian
Kuserahkan pada s’leramu yang lebih maju
Tapi tata ruang, aku ikut pertimbangkan
Kar’na kalau nanti kita punya kesibukan
Malam tetap kumpul di meja panjang
Ruang makan kita
Berbincang tentang hari yang panjang
Kita usahakan rumah itu
Dari depan akan tampak sederhana
Tapi penerangannya
Diracik begitu romantis
Urusan perabotan dan wangi-wangian
Kuserahkan pada s’leramu yang lebih maju
Tapi tata ruang, aku ikut pertimbangkan
Kar’na kalau nanti kita punya kesibukan
Malam tetap kumpul di meja panjang
Ruang makan kita
Berbincang tentang hari yang panjang
Boleh kamu keliling dunia
Dan temukan banyak tempat-tempat ‘tuk singgah
Sementara
Kamu boleh namai itu rumah
Selama ada m’reka yang kamu cinta
Di dalamnya
Kita usahakan rumah itu
Blue on green, my love
Is where air is thick as blood.
Peacefully given--
when visiting my mom’s place, I’ll at least go once to where rice field spreads from road to river
how about having a painting of this view?
.
Breathing is about circulating CO2 and O2 scientifically. Breathing is about welcome and sayonara mentally. Breathing is about the rhythms and rhymes chosen by one to sing the life path. Breathing is about slowing down and racing on the chosen way.
Which one have I chosen?
My breathing is a center that I'll go back in any daily situation. When happy, I'll go check my breathing. When angry, I'll do the same. When calm, I can feel my breathing slow and soft. When this and when that, I won't let myself depart without managing my breathing. How much fast or slow the breathing is, I will make it calm and long.
My breathing is my anchor that I should release or retrieve based on need.
Dear, Breath.
Never leave me behind, or
Let me walk ahead.
We should travel side by side.
Lucky, Beloved
I'm walking the path to you.
You're waiting for me?
🍀
Just a while ago I realised that luck is not solely given, it can be requested with terms and conditions applied. I feel lucky when these conditions are met: believing on what’s not sensible, connected to and loyal with the conscience and not reluctant to share what I’ve got. What about the terms? I leave it to you; you’re the determiner.
I’m the bearer of conditions; you’re the bearer of decision. We both are interchangeable pre-condition.
So I’m lucky to have you, your luck won’t matter without me.
☘️
Sweetness, Beloved
Shows on the plates, wok and wrap
In one sweet dinner.
veggies, rendang and deep fried (sweet potato balls & banana) — sweet
rendang I prepare for Eva next Thursday’s ifthar in a Japanese restaurant — what a sweet mix 😁
today’s sweet herbal chocolate
Dear, Child.
Look at the stars
Blinking their signs;
The shooting star
Burning their directions;
The glowing sky
Telling their histories.
Dear, Child.
Listen to the old songs.
See the old galaxies.
Touch the swirling dusts.
Taste the sweetness of comets.
Smell the expanding universe.
All no limit
But your definition.
Hug me
As we travel.
Trust me
As we wander.
Like I hug
You,
Like I trust
You.
Dear Child.
body and soul is like a female and a male in a marriage as discussed in classes of spirituality
in Javanese tradition body is symbolizing the female that is also the earth — accepting, submissive and intuitive; while soul is symbolizing the male that is also the heaven — giving, powerful and guiding
yet to me it’s not always that way; to me yes body and soul is like a mother and a child — the mother holding an infant (can be a girl or a boy) in a state that the mother is making sure the child is purely happy
I personally believe as long as the soul remains childlike, the body is not suffering — accepting what is is the key
about this life I sometimes don’t want to define as definition is a limit
and so I don’t force my understanding to anyone even to those I love the most because spiritual experience is very personal, cannot be forced, can only be synchronised through mutual journey
that’s why spiritual journey is called silent path; even when we’re in the same discussion room, the expansion of understanding might be different from one another
let’s accept our own silent path with no judgment
❣️
Notes: it’s my personal thought, doesn’t mean to influence anyone, a ranting of a life traveler
My mouth doesn't say it
But it feels like drooling.
The charm of kitchen
Isn't the set,
It's the colours and taste
And love that fits.
today’s breakfast of day #22 at 7:15pm – prepped & ready to enjoy 😍
there is a bowl of mango and some rice crackers but photo not taken
bamboo shoots and red bean in coconut milk – so Javanese 💕
yes I love chicken heart 😁
sweet yam and mung bean stew a.k.a. kolak 💗
beltfish a.k.a. ikan layur 💗 deep fried
How do I look, Love
Before the mirror of heart
Talking honesty.
Who doesn’t want to look young or beautiful at the longest time? Looking young and beautiful is one of the best feelings in life. But how far can human beings stretch themselves to stay young?
Today I bumped into a movie in the flight from Hanoi to Singapore: The Substance in which a woman (played by Demi Moore) is struggling of being not wanted in the industry because of not looking as young anymore. The horror of doing so much to stay young gave me a wake-up call that liking it or not, I who looks younger than her age will definitely age and weaken through time.
How long can I stay young naturally?
I won’t look young all the time especially as I decided to not do expensive facial and body treatment. Factually that’s very not necessary (for me).
Truly at 65 this body is weak and can’t work as now. By then I hope that I can appropriately function as a wise soul staying in a relatively healthy body that does light works everyday until time kindly escorts me to the next gate of life.
Dear, Life.
Thank you for taking care of me.
Please always guide me to stay in the path of human being in the making as long as time allows. I might not get everything grandiose but I don’t want to lose anything precious.
Please give me big heart enough to always experience joy through all senses and to share it everyday.
Happy weekend❣️
Who doesn't love it?
Sun that quickly sets with joy
To rise tomorrow.
sunset in the West Lake
sunset in the West Lake
sunset in the West Lake
sunset in the West Lake
after a long week, with the team enjoying sunset, the ladies always like to take photo ☺️ (near the West Lake)
closing the day around Hoan Kiem Lake
the music that sweetly hurt the heart
A knot is a safe
For love to bind a promise
Until time is up.
I bought the gold knot stud earrings in Madrid, a place making me realise that a most stunning place can be the least safe one
when buying it, I didn’t know the meaning of knot: they just looked stunning
only when ending the 20-day solo travel in some EU countries, I know the knot stud earring means love and unity
beautiful!
Following the sun
Travelled by the earth no end
Just slowly or fast--
sun flower facing the sun until the sun is no more shining
Ripples on the heart
Is smiles decorating days,
Starts every morning.
your laughter is my morning ripples
The light, Beloved
Knocks on this heart with a song
That hums love and hope.
Nature, Beloved
Where I plant true self of mine
That springs up lushly.
I saw this scarf in LUSH and got charmed with its theme; it’s a natural resources map from where LUSH source the raw material of its products
Indonesia: coconut oil, patchouli oil (both my favourites)
it will be a gift to an old friend who’s been raised in agriculture family. I hope she likes it.
All dreams should be sweet.
They should leave beautiful trails
To be well followed.
living with acceptance is a dream
and I’ve achieved it to some extent; I’ve learnt letting go each and every day
and now I want to enjoy my life with someone who has the same project with mine: to live loving & forgiving, to die loved & forgiven
because to me that’s the only way to live happily
When dreams are calling,
Get up! The sky's the limit,
Be the wind that blows.
my dreams call the wind so they can meet you soon
❣️
I still keep the dreams:
You're the only one to meet
When sky's clear one day.
I hug my dreams in the dark day; they will again fly to find home when the wind sweeps clouds away
💙
🥰
Ibu,
Selalu kurindu
Jemarimu
Di rambutku,
Senandungmu
Di tidurku,
Doamu
Di langkahku.
I miss you, Ibu 💕
When many think you're more,
You shine too bright,
Exceeding a real star,
That I've admired,
Your true colors.
This heart can only bear
Natural brightness,
That will shine no matter how dark the life is,
Not the artificial brightness that will collapse when the dark goes dark.
So let you stay
Where admiration is loud.
Let this heart stay
Where love truly vibes.
love is never wrong, only the object is sometimes not rightly chosen
some love feels demanding even when it only requires simplicity and peace
it’s good to learn to love unconditionally including accepting the excessiveness of how human being perceives love itself
it’s ok to fail to love unconditionally this time — sometimes the best love is stopping admiration where admiring is making things less genuine and more misleading
💙
❣️
What's love, Beloved?
It's what she does and becomes.
As red as ruby--
I love jewelry; these are a set of ruby I bought in Scott Market in Yangon, Myanmar in 2018
so many gemstones made my eyes wildly browsed all possibly affordable ones
i bought sapphire, ruby, jade and amber that have become my precious entertainer cum advisor when I’m lost.
gemstone is not only beautiful but also symbols of wisdom and beauty
Thank you❣️
What's blue, Beloved?
Tranquility. Sky and sea
As calm as can be--
painted my nails blue to keep my spirit on and on and on
it doesn’t matter if people say I just look wise but actually unwise — I’m not wise indeed ☺️
I only say what’s aligned between my head and heart and even my belly
☺️
They ask, Beloved
Why repeated the same thing?
Based on what you do--
why I say the same ideas repeatedly, only moving the point of view?
because those are the things I not only know but also embrace, internalise and experience in life
saying something I don’t truly know and feel and walk feels like not stepping on the ground
❣️
rike jokanan 
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