One, two, Beloved, Numbers to start a journey To the zero point.
With ageing I am able to feel the surge of high energy I experienced before. With broken heart I’m so thankful that I’ve got love in this heart. With thirst I appreciate how freshness of water cures me. With the stuck in the head I become more and more familiar that flowing is the only way to love. With scarcity I can grow sense of gratitude with even just a little hope in life.
It’s you. Yes, it’s you. None other but you that makes me. None other but you that puts meaning on the word me. None other but you that moves all this life within me.
How can I be feeling so detached….
If you are the one attaching in all my senses?
If you are the one behaving with this corpse?
If you are the one drawing a circle for me to circumambulate until the two dots meet?
Your plodding footsteps Call me to keep this journey To where sunrise is.
Wherever I go as long as I’m following my honesty, I’m meeting with you.
I’ve tried denying that life is just a matter of birth to death & struggling between those two, but no life is not that indeed — pain is inevitable but suffering is optional so I prefer put always lightheartedness and useful meaning to steps of life.
One day which is today I plant my believe more deeply as I also believe that this tree of life is not only one growing for a while; this tree of life needs strong & stubborn roots to support itself to the end of universe life.
Thank you for this beautiful life, Beloved. Whatever I’ve gone through is beauty that leads me to the reality of life:
Kata guruku hati harus ringan, Harus. Kata guruku langkah harus pasti, Harus. Kata guruku badan harus rajin, Harus. Kata guruku hidup harus berserah, Harus. Susahnya! Laku kuganti guru. Ngomongnya begini: Buat apa jadi manusia kalau tidak punya hati bahagia? Kalau kerjanya bermalas-malas diombang-ambing angan-angan? Kalau kerjanya memaksa semua dengan maunya?
Duh! Berguru di mana-mana sama! Aku duduk di depan patung Dorna, Pendeta legenda, Sebagai Ekalaya aku berpura-pura.
Bambang Ekalaya (Anggraeni’s husband), most loyal male wayang to his teacher
Dewi Anggraeni (Ekalaya’s wife), most loyal female wayang to her husband
There are ways For those hiding To stay hidden. There are ways For those running To keep running. There are ways For those struggling To forever struggle. They say they do it For those they love. They claim they do it For those they care. They pledged they do it For those they respect. Is it true? Words can lie. Numbers can manipulate. Silence can cover. Yet eyes can't bury What's sliding with tears On the face of reality.
Don't lie to me Honesty saves everyone's time. I have no time To have fun If fun is your way to hide Your true face from me. Save yourself By letting go Off the masks That you wear even when alone. Let it fall off And I will stride away With a lot of pray.
Gurindam is a form of ancient poem of (old) Malay.
Gurindam 12 (twelve gurindam(s)) is a set of gurindam composed by Raja Ali Haji in 1847. Raja Ali Haji was a poet born in Pulau Penyengat, Kepulauan Riau, Indonesia in 1808. He is one of national heroes of Indonesia.
I read it back then in junior high school when comprehension was not really well obtained. I wish to fully understand this gurindam before time is up.
Saturday night, Love Keeps her radiant and calm In a place called heart.
I became hungry and decided to slice carrot, beet root and chayote for salad.
For this Saturday night’s calm vibe, I sliced shallot, chili, lemon grass and kefir lime leaves then sauté them in coconut oil added with shrimp block.
Life list, Beloved, Not about glory or lost. It's what truly costs.
I used to list what I wanted to do. Every year I made the list longer until I stopped as I’ve found primary list that I won’t forget to make come true.
One of them is writing my own book (I’ve written with friends in anthology books) so I’m working on it.
Another one is having a home where family and friends feel the true selves in them. My first house was but as it is located not in a preferred place, I decided to make a new one. Working on it–
Many more and I’m working on all of them.
They might come true or not as age is not predictable yet at least I’m working on all of them.
Dear Home, Welcome me With your warm heart That beats with love, And trust.
Do you know how I miss You? Your walls with my paintings, Your ceiling with the down light, Your floor with shine after vacuum, Your roof after washed by rain, Your fragrance that is me.
How are you? Are you as spacious as before installed with furniture? I won't add more. Are you serene after some music played? I won't play more. Are you bright after curtain hung? I won't put those too thick. I hope you're still a home Even after I come. Even I hope you become more homey After that.
Please know I only wanted those loving to be here But then that's not fair. So you'll see bad people around, I promise that won't be long and make sure one will only visit once, And only very few. Vibe clear! So only those with clarity want to stay long.
Please know I want fireflies to be around at night So you'll be pretty with the tiny bright dots blinking cheerfully.
Please know, dear Home That you are built now By this wandering self With a loving hope To meet You Very soon.
Dear, Home.
listening to this song this whole day; yes I can do it to any song that builds a good mood
Sal Priadi’s songs sound like romantic mantra to me especially this one
The strength is his lyrics: simple yet poetic
Lyrics
Kita usahakan rumah itu Dari depan akan tampak sederhana Tapi kebunnya luas Tanamannya mewah, megah
Kita usahakan rumah itu Dari depan akan tampak sederhana Tapi dibuat kuat Dirancang muat, lega
Urusan perabotan dan wangi-wangian Kuserahkan pada s’leramu yang lebih maju Tapi tata ruang, aku ikut pertimbangkan Kar’na kalau nanti kita punya kesibukan
Malam tetap kumpul di meja panjang Ruang makan kita Berbincang tentang hari yang panjang
Kita usahakan rumah itu Dari depan akan tampak sederhana Tapi penerangannya Diracik begitu romantis
Urusan perabotan dan wangi-wangian Kuserahkan pada s’leramu yang lebih maju Tapi tata ruang, aku ikut pertimbangkan Kar’na kalau nanti kita punya kesibukan
Malam tetap kumpul di meja panjang Ruang makan kita Berbincang tentang hari yang panjang
Boleh kamu keliling dunia Dan temukan banyak tempat-tempat ‘tuk singgah Sementara
Kamu boleh namai itu rumah Selama ada m’reka yang kamu cinta Di dalamnya
. Breathing is about circulating CO2 and O2 scientifically. Breathing is about welcome and sayonara mentally. Breathing is about the rhythms and rhymes chosen by one to sing the life path. Breathing is about slowing down and racing on the chosen way.
Which one have I chosen?
My breathing is a center that I'll go back in any daily situation. When happy, I'll go check my breathing. When angry, I'll do the same. When calm, I can feel my breathing slow and soft. When this and when that, I won't let myself depart without managing my breathing. How much fast or slow the breathing is, I will make it calm and long.
My breathing is my anchor that I should release or retrieve based on need.
Dear, Breath. Never leave me behind, or Let me walk ahead. We should travel side by side.
Lucky, Beloved I'm walking the path to you. You're waiting for me?
🍀
Just a while ago I realised that luck is not solely given, it can be requested with terms and conditions applied. I feel lucky when these conditions are met: believing on what’s not sensible, connected to and loyal with the conscience and not reluctant to share what I’ve got. What about the terms? I leave it to you; you’re the determiner.
I’m the bearer of conditions; you’re the bearer of decision. We both are interchangeable pre-condition.
So I’m lucky to have you, your luck won’t matter without me.
Dear, Child. Look at the stars Blinking their signs; The shooting star Burning their directions; The glowing sky Telling their histories.
Dear, Child. Listen to the old songs. See the old galaxies. Touch the swirling dusts. Taste the sweetness of comets. Smell the expanding universe. All no limit But your definition.
Hug me As we travel. Trust me As we wander. Like I hug You, Like I trust You.
Dear Child.
body and soul is like a female and a male in a marriage as discussed in classes of spirituality
in Javanese tradition body is symbolizing the female that is also the earth — accepting, submissive and intuitive; while soul is symbolizing the male that is also the heaven — giving, powerful and guiding
yet to me it’s not always that way; to me yes body and soul is like a mother and a child — the mother holding an infant (can be a girl or a boy) in a state that the mother is making sure the child is purely happy
I personally believe as long as the soul remains childlike, the body is not suffering — accepting what is is the key
about this life I sometimes don’t want to define as definition is a limit
and so I don’t force my understanding to anyone even to those I love the most because spiritual experience is very personal, cannot be forced, can only be synchronised through mutual journey
that’s why spiritual journey is called silent path; even when we’re in the same discussion room, the expansion of understanding might be different from one another
let’s accept our own silent path with no judgment
❣️
Notes: it’s my personal thought, doesn’t mean to influence anyone, a ranting of a life traveler
How do I look, Love Before the mirror of heart Talking honesty.
Who doesn’t want to look young or beautiful at the longest time? Looking young and beautiful is one of the best feelings in life. But how far can human beings stretch themselves to stay young?
Today I bumped into a movie in the flight from Hanoi to Singapore: The Substance in which a woman (played by Demi Moore) is struggling of being not wanted in the industry because of not looking as young anymore. The horror of doing so much to stay young gave me a wake-up call that liking it or not, I who looks younger than her age will definitely age and weaken through time.
How long can I stay young naturally?
I won’t look young all the time especially as I decided to not do expensive facial and body treatment. Factually that’s very not necessary (for me).
Truly at 65 this body is weak and can’t work as now. By then I hope that I can appropriately function as a wise soul staying in a relatively healthy body that does light works everyday until time kindly escorts me to the next gate of life.
Dear, Life.
Thank you for taking care of me.
Please always guide me to stay in the path of human being in the making as long as time allows. I might not get everything grandiose but I don’t want to lose anything precious.
Please give me big heart enough to always experience joy through all senses and to share it everyday.
rike jokanan 
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