Dream Brings Back Wisdom

love, This Person, Those People
Defined with honour,
Integrated in mindset:
Sublime happiness—

Having beautiful dreams everyday for one week is blessings in a row. The best of mine recently was finding so many ruby stones while walking home. When waking up, sense of calmness and relief were present yet at the same time a question of whether happiness was here. In the dream I still had to polish the ruby to shine, but at least those stones were given to me.

A couple of years ago I joined a noble silence in Bali, a one-week-no-gadgets-no-books-no-media-no-talk-just-be-with-yourself-although-living-in-a-dorm-with-other-people-and-be-vegetarian-plus-meditation-almost-the-whole-day. A top luxury for someone like me

Not about the noble silence, but a lot of things came back to me especially on how happiness is perceived by different people with different social, cultural, economical backgrounds.

In that noble silence there attended many different people from all walks of life: someone working in a prominent firm in NYC, fashion designer from Paris with one’s daughter, a family from Australia, a rich flight attendant of one of the best airline on earth, a rich person naming himself a party animal, a young start up owner who once talked in front of a president of the super power, an entrepreneur from Spain with one’s daughter, all others I can’t remember who because we practically didn’t introduce each other further. We stared and smiled with each other maybe once for that one week because each was simply busy with one’s self.

I was surprised that those who appeared so proud and happy and unshakeable finally shared in the closing ceremony how they struggled in life and how the noble silence brought realisation to them — simply by befriending with themselves. We were broken with different reasons: family matters, public cases, friendship, romance, work, trauma, fear of things and so on and so forth.

One more thing, struggling is not about how big the problem is but it is about how something disturbs the state of one’s clear mind. Nothing is defined too small when it shakes the boat.

I miss another noble silence, one of the biggest luxuries of life.

May all beings be happy.

my humble ruby stone found in a small shop in Kuching

Eloquent Silence

Learning
This silence is so eloquent,
But still needs clarification.
What did you just say?
That love is blind?
That love is dumb?
That love is numb?
What did you just say,
Beloved?

Silence weeps bitterly.

Love is candid.
Love is painful.
Love is funny.
Love is simple
As simple as none....
Love is—

Hush!

Don’t trick me with words
Or numbers.
The beauty of silence shouts more loudly than what you’ve uttered.

Bluff with verbs, not adjectives.
Walking hand in hand is more beautiful than telling me beautiful.
Not to be a grammarian, Beloved.
Use the grammar well.

Someday you’ll receive an unwritten book of love with which thousands of poems are softly breathed to survive this pain.

Do you mind whispering an address, Beloved?

This silence is dramatically eloquent but indeed much better than Korean drama.

—

reading grammar book is fun but practicing the grammar is like falling in love—nervous and excited.

Is Life A…?

Learning
An old man’s waiting
For the sun to rise. He moans
At the moon. “Dark night,
Pull away. You block me from
Beauty.” — Life’s a mentalist.

—

Who is the true beauty? The moon or the sun? Debatable! It’s a matter of played tricks of layered lights— light upon light with darkness in between. How would it be not cozy hiding under a cool calm night while patiently welcoming morning? How would it be not fun playing in a warm radiant day while cheerfully welcoming dusk?

Ah…. Why should one be getting old while constantly denying what is….

Salaam….

Frozen Heart Sleeps Soundly

Learning
Good food isn’t one when
Mood isn’t. Mood overrides nuance.
Wake up, Frozen Heart!

—-

I was excited to go to office today —only today. It becomes such a luxury in this situation. Aside from meeting colleagues who happened to be not around, enjoying the food in our office cafe is one of activities much missed for the past one year.

Lunch time came and the decision was on this Western Daily Special. Why not picking original favourite the mixed vegetables? I thought I was bored of consuming vegetables in home cooking.

Yet, I found the special wasn’t as expected…. Didn’t finish it. Let’s fault-find: plain, plain, plain, too big a portion, blahblahblah…. 😕

Then I just realised that it was simply because of a failure building the mood. If someone is in good mood, one must have eaten any portion up with no complaint.

Mood drives many things. Just because of losing the mood, walking home was cancelled. Oh, rubbish talk! Lazy bone!

Too many excuses today! If the bad mood lingers, all colours will be greyed up.

Educate yourself! 😁

Special! Ahem!
Specially jumbo!
Complaining food isn’t this person’s norm. When it’s complained, it incredibly….. The coconut water is the exception, and separately paid.

Cooking Is Sharpening Senses

Learning
Our sense, Beloved
Sharpens by knowing spice, herb
And all you cook.
Know, Beloved all we do
Is experiencing taste.
Yummy!
Javanese Garang Asem in ramekin (traditionally wrapped in banana leaf)
Three ramekins of garang asem ready to steam
Boiled chicken added to ramekin, coconut milk add the last
Sliced herbs and spices arranged in ramekin
Chicken boiled in lemongrass, kefir lime leaf, galangal, sugar (if you wish), salt, coconut milk
Cleaned and sliced


Face of Healthy Friendship

Learning
Daniel Mananta (a Christian) and Arie Untung (a Muslim), two best friends who understand how friendship should sustain and make each other respect and love— God bless both of them, and all of Indonesians in this hard time.

In this particular time I feel much more blessed to be born by a Muslim mother and a Christian father. God bless you both forever! 💕

Salam….

💞

You Might Wanna Join

Learning

Finally found at least one meetup group that gives the mind opportunity “to party”.

To be vulnerable by listening to different interpretations from different people of different backgrounds is sweet. Not always sugary sweet but it is sweet!💞

Anyone?

Look up: http://www.meetup.com

Loving Like Loving A Song

Bob, Learning, life, love, Map It!, Poetic
I want to love you
Like loving a song. It's free,
Everyone’s happy
Without jealousy, they sing
In joy.... While you’re still mine, Love—

What a luxury to love someone who’s been the favorite of many…. Sharing joy in silence….

Like this humble song from me to you…. A Javanese love song whose meaning is deep and joyful; filled with prayer and admiration to the beloved – whoever the beloved is meant by the singer.

Music is a beautiful wire connecting the hearts….

Enjoy.

Listening Class

Learning, Map It!, Poetic
Listen to the rants
Of those needing some ears. Who?
Maybe your own self—

I need fresh air and different taste today! Pretty hot day and my bike really needs long rest. So I decided to book a taxi to Bussorah Street. Why not MRT? Today the automatic-smile-to-people apps of mine broke down and my ears needed some entertainment from random drivers who -if you are lucky or unlucky depending on how you perceive it- will tell a lot of stories about the Gov, the people, etc.

And Universe answered! The driver was perfectly being upset with a passenger that scolded at him because the passenger thought he made a longer journey and so the passenger had to pay $16 instead of $9.

“Walao! He think such distance can ah with only $9? If he live in Sentausa, he sure got money whaaaaat?! And if always take taxi, he sure know it is at least $15!”

“He think because he is foreigner he ok do what he like haaaaaah?!”

“You know he said “f***ing ***hole” to me ! He think he got right say that to driver! This is first time I complain to my office about my passenger you know. Usually I don’t care la people bitter or not smile or not talk but this guy ah scolding ah you think ok ah?”

Oops! If that was really the words said to the driver, that was rude!

He ranted more…. actually the whole trip I was all ears for him. Thanks God for my patience today.

“You probably need some coffee, Sir,” said I.

“Ya la. I so angry! I didn’t take passenger after him, straight to coffee shop to have coffee then took your order la. Still angry you know! My company already took my complaint. Maybe also need blacklisted passenger you know. People should not behave rude to drivers blah blah blah”.”

“You need to walk to the street. Cannot enter, not allowed one, you know right?”

“Oh, no worry, Sir. I know this area quite well. Let me walk. This is the fare, please take the change, for your noon coffee.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Have a nice day!”

I walked down the street to go to a small bookstore which sells books that I won’t find in Kinokuniya. This hidden gem among all those nice restaurants feels much more special in this pandemic. There are still many people but probably only 30% of normal days when tourists are swarming like alate around the light.

This was a nice day! I brought home some reading and good food!

Mission accomplished!

Time to listen to the Self!

Salaam

reading is like listening to self, you decipher your own intelligence through other’s writing

A Lady Speaks Her Mind. Astute & Brave

Learning, Those People

I can listen to her talk for hours, not necessarily because of agreeing with all what she says but genuinely because she speaks with integrity. She is a lady with good sources and resources.

Sweet Memory of Sugar Cane Child

Learning
Sugar cane party
Triggers childhood memories.
Fresh, sweet and crunchy

I loved to eat sugar cane when I was a kid. We would get the sugar cane from the backyard garden but the best sugar cane was from the sugar cane field which was guarded everyday. So we as the kids of the area had to make political decision between stealing the cane or begging the cane from the guards, we mostly did the first option as we didn’t have good negotiation skill that could win over the guards’ rudeness and body size. Trust me they were as big as rhino while we were tiny kids with one small knife to cut one cane at the edge of the field.

One long cane wouldn’t harm the guards. They without doubt knew we stole one stick of sugarcane but they never chased us. Some expressions that chased us away with the stolen commodity were mostly “I know you, I’ll tell your parents!” or “If you come back, I’ll catch you!” or “Little rascals!” or if we were lucky the guard would say cynically “Why only one? Why not bring a truck?” Now I know that those guards would never do anything harmful because they knew how little the cane we took and how weak we were compared to them.

We didn’t do it often though. Maybe once a year. Sometimes we would stand in front of our home when it was time for the sugar canes to be harvested and the trucks transporting the crops passed by the street. We would pull the canes protruding at the back of the truck running slowly.

I was one of the luckiest. My father’s friend would send us a “kolong” of sugar canes (kolong is a bunch or around 10-20 sugar cane tied together with bamboo knots). Then we would untie the knot and give some to our neighbours and friends.

What a beautiful childhood memory!

Nowadays not many of our children might do what we did. My nephews and nieces love to hear my stories about it. They might not know that we peeled the sugar cane using our teeth. Wow! Magic! Hahaha…. No…. Just a show off around the kids!

I miss home….! 🥰

my sugar cane today, not as good as my childhood’s but good enough to remind me of a good time

Carefree Not Car Free

Learning
Carefree day, true day;
Away from pressure, good day—
Sing the song, flutter!

Some days are just so enjoyable even when you’ve got bad things to get rid of from the very head. Why is that?

Perhaps, yes perhaps it is just because some people joyfully make the right click with their own selves.

Salam….

Have A Healthy Bat!

Learning, Those People
What’s life, Beloved?
Contribution, not duration—
How much not how long.

Once an engineer working in a battery manufacturing asked me why my mobile phone battery was almost always fully charged. I didn’t know people observed my mobile carefully.

He said “I don’t see many applications in your phone so the battery might not get drained quickly, Rijk.”

“You’re right, Sir. The activities I do in those few applications already take a lot of energy. More apps, more energy, yet mostly those apps are not used often. So….”

“Ahhh! A good choice to contribute better than to be a jack of all trade eh? Try this trick!” He told me some secret of how to keep phone battery live longer. “…. That way battery will stay strong, live a little longer than expected plus you’ve got the endurance you wish. Tell me if it works.”

He also said that it doesn’t apply only to battery. It is about how life is dedicated for. Some people feel satisfied with having a lot and enjoying long life in luxury. In fact, some people live to contribute more to their surrounding, not having so much —just enough to stay content and happy— and die meaningfully.

I don’t know if that senior citizen is still alive. If he died, I’m sure he died happy. Once his colleagues said his life was blessed because of his kindness and generosity.

Alas! I still want to live longer contributing more. Oh, greedy self me! 🤪

May all beings be happy.

current status of battery

The Blessed Drupadi

love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
Rolled dice, Beloved
Can cheat or give you luck. Choose
When to stop or lose.

Pandhawa Lima (5 brothers of Pandhawa) and the Kurawa (100 = 99 male and 1 female, all born from one time pregnancy), both were since childhood to maturity in a forever competition, rivalry and finally Kurusetra war!

I first read Mahabharata, Baratayudha when I was 10 years old. Comic series by R.A. Kosasih. I bet you’ll like them – unfortunately only in Bahasa Indonesia.

I always interpreted the rivalry between those two clans as a battle between good and evil. That everything happening between them was because Pandhawa wanted to eradicate evil, celebrated the good, wanted to make sure the kingdom was well governed, people were well protected with good welfare. Hmm…. I mean yes it was…. But is that the only angle to picture the stories? What was the cause of the war?

Until one day…. My brain was twisted and started to re-read between the lines. Since then I have agreed with those thinking that what Pandhawa had done was to fight for the right of one beloved woman, Drupadi. In Javanese culture Drupadi was the dear wife of Yudhistira (the oldest of the five) and the sister in law of the four (Bima, Arjuna, Nakula and Sadewa).

Drupadi was harassed by Dursasana in a betting party where Yudhistira let her the ultimate bet after he had spent everything the kingdom had in the game. Yudhistira was a highly respected king yet his weakness was one of them his liking to betting and gambling.

So, the epic war between the good Pandhawa and the evil Kurawa is to show how men respect and defend the women around them.

How would those who have read this epic story can’t see this significant line?!

I’m blessed to be a woman. And I hope someday I’ll be with a man who has the dignity to take a side of me when I have no one to defend, has the courage to respect a “weaker creature” when he has other options not to.

Happy International Women’s Day

It is not a one-day holiday or celebration, it is an everyday celebration to stay dignified and loving at the same time as a woman.

May all beings be happy.

Drupadi ceramic statue by F. Widayanto

Not My Job

Learning
Not my job to preach;
Simply sharing what is sensed.
Don’t get it wrong.

No, no…. If people think what writers write is only about themselves, that’s not the case. The writers are just like us, human beings who get inspired by everything they sense.

😌

who bites the donuts – one person or five or how many of them?

Cloudy Window

Learning
This love’s, Love never
Dubious. It’s the window
Clouded with questions.

Had a weekend call with one of my best friends and always ended up with haha hihi and hehe…. Joyful and fun! Yet love is always a-must topic. And today’s love’s topic was that it is never wrong —both the feeling and whom we love. It is questionable when we expect the same from those that we love.

Painful! Indeed. Like getting beaten by snow flakes in the coldest winter on the way to the warm summer. Whether you survive through the journey or you return to the previous path.

Let’s walk on!

May all beings be happy.

Some Help From Weekend

Learning
It’s a bright weekend
With things to let go and some
To be learnt by heart.

Have a nice weekend that’s willing to give good transit to unblock the emotional drainage system.

study after breakfast – different weekend vibe mode on

What’s Your Mantra?

Learning
Sun yawns. Morning comes
No earlier, no later
Without a mantra.

I had a chat with one best friend about mantra. Long story short, we agreed that everyone can have one’s own mantra that works wonder as long as the mantra is recited with all one’s heart. Then we decided to compose our own mantra to help boost materialising the dreams. One of them? To charm our own heart that is very difficult to tame— two stubborn ladies.

Then we exchanged mantra. Hers was straight forward containing what she wanted to happen and recited like rap song. Mine was a melodious song. Tried my best luck to sing it and sent the recording to her. Such a good day to laugh joyfully. And?

And we agreed that we both are funny and don’t have to worry about mantra; just need to believe that dreams will come true like the sun that welcomes the day from the east on time. Mantra is the right motivation and with it, what we both need to do is just to work on what we want to achieve.

Hey, hey! Our mantra were actually not too bad. We might release a mantra album someday. 😝

flower is my mantra

Philosophy of Javanese in Life Series – Urip Iku Urup

Learning
Life’s flame, Beloved
Gaseous, burning, glowing.
Choose your own spectrum.

What is urip iku urup? It is literally “life is flame”.

Most Javanese describe “urip iku urup” as “your life should be beneficial and/or helpful for others” like flame coming out from fire giving surrounding the light, saving others from the dark. Always do good things. Help others. Don’t make a noise. Don’t disturb others. Those are very normal advices coming from the Javanese elders. Not bad, but to me it is a jumbo burden to always being good and being nice and saying yes and not complaining when life is sometimes tough and forcefully dredging out negativity from the very gut.

I though highly respect this urip iku urup through my own interpretation: “life should be full of passion”. Only those with passion, zeal, enthusiasm, energy, commitment, excitement, fondness, zest, keeness, avidity, gusto, glee, joy can bring the most benefits of what they do towards others. Not so much different from what normal Javanese interpret, just that I prefer seeing things from how life radiates from within self rather than how it is measured through others’ benefitting my life. Simply put: I’ll do super best; if you get the benefit, that’s good for you. If not, tell me and I’ll make it better.

If you choose to be a teacher, be the best version of teacher you are. If you want to be a researcher, be the best version of researcher you are. If you decide to be no one, be the best no one in the world! There is a spirit of learning from the scratch and striving for perfection. And there is a sense of originality.

Flame has different colours, depending on the heat and intensity of the fire. Many think red flame is the scariest perhaps because it is the one bellowing in rage, eating up property in fire. However, it is the most external part yet actually of the the lowest temperature. It is the tongue, not the voice. The blue represents the hottest flame — it is the gas burning, the higher temperature, the innner most, the closest to the core. It’ll cook things faster but quiter! It is the vocal cord, not the voice.

In life people should choose what flame they want to represent in life. It is whether they want to stand out and be the red, symbolising the intensity of the whole fire! Or, they want to be outstanding as the blue and not arguably be the hottest support to the reds around. Both are ok. Just remember not to extinguish each other, Red and Blue. People need to choose their own roles in community. Some people are good at performing at the stage. Some are good at executing. Some are good at initiating changes and pushing from the back of the course. Some might be good at all but I doubt one person can be good at three perfectly at teh same course. If one thinks so, one will either overkill the people around one or kill one’s self.

Within self, red and blue is about act of maturity or choice of expression in many different occasions to face different situations with different people. How people process their experience and mold the wisdom within is a hidden flame. Let them do. Their timing is theirs, not yours. Sometimes they want to show their red, the other time they show their blue.

Flame is alive inside and outside! Be a flame while we live! You’re the voice!

If you listen to this song, you’ll see that urip iku urup -the so called Javanese local wisdom- can be found everywhere. Local wisdom is never local, it is universal value expressed differently by many in different places.

Salaam….

Note about the writing and the song: don’t bother, it is my interpretation 😊

Harmony Orchestra

Learning
Once upon a time 
A bud cluster fully blooms,
Stealing eyes’ foci.

When a cluster of buds bloom together, hydrangea is a harmony orchestra.

sweet soft gradation of colours

Be Patient To Self

love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
When colours are tied
To  canvas, the painter mourns,
“Dear, hard to move on.”
It says “One stroke at a time.
Sit down and relax your mind.”

Be patient, Self. Be patient. It hurts but nothing is permanent. Accept the pain but don’t let suffering take over this journey. Don’t break. Don’t break.

Thanks for everything. 💞

May all beings be happy.

I know this is going to be a favorite collection but every time I sit down to complete this painting, there is a big fear of failure. As if this squirrel perfection in mind takes over determination to materialise what I’ve dreamt. Oh, Squirrel!

Van Gogh, help meeeee!!! 😝

Peace Is Within

Learning, love, This Person, Those People


Dive, mine pearls deep down.
True book with golden pages:
Self you’ve forgotten.

Past year without traveling and literally working from home has brought a kind of peaceful mind. Workload is still there but the level of stress is much much lower and that has made me a happier person.

What’s more, a lot of discoveries about self: negative, positive, wound, trauma, anger, disappointment, broken heart, happiness, honesty, fun, comedies, sweetness of my heart; all are blessings in different manifestation. What a period 2020 and 2021 has been! Socially it is a worldwide trial! Personally for me it is a deep wound of ignorance!

Slowly I realise that it is the way Universe teaches me what’s best to be a human being called me. I don’t like people to do one thing to me so I will never do it to others. But I won’t expect others to do what’s best according to me— let the Universe teach them how to do it….

Thanks Universe, you are the best teacher and teaser at the same time! I praise you and scold at you as I wish at the same time! ⚡️

Life is so just. You lose, you gain. It is just about time…. While waiting, befriend with your own self….

Thanks for everything….. 💞

May all beings be happy.

yellow is honesty – honest to self 💫

Who Is Your Music?

Learning
You’re my melody
In life harmony. The rhythm 
Presents space of hope.
Oh..... Play the music today....
Bring tomorrow to me now....

If only I can play guitar…. Now I’m too old to learn; I prefer eating chili crab humming my own jazzy songs to playing the guitar. 😝

One of my best friends said love is dangerous if…. I don’t believe; love is like a cup of bitter sweet hot chocolate! Yummy but yes only when it is true…

Hymn for Self

Learning


Heroes died in war.
The flame in the heart that stays:
History or myth....

Unsung heroes are everywhere, you must have been one for those whose rights you’ve protected. Sing your own hymn and keep the flame in heart.

You never die as long as the flame is at least flickering.

May all beings be happy.

Mask, Oh Mask

Learning
The hidden ID
Brings confidence and courage:
Covert exercise—

Wearing mask has good impact mentally: especially bringing more confidence to do what’s wanted to do (responsibly). Wearing it though might also give some rather unpleasant experience such as not breathing comfortably, needing to nod or squint eyes to show we are smiling, foggy glasses, etc.

While now we are mandated to wear masks once going out of home, hope someday soon mask is mandated only in some area.

Now let’s take this as a short training to be confident and to give up identity for a while for the sake of protecting each other. Training in and out!

Let’s mask ourselves in style. 😷

Tips of wearing mask: not too tight, find masks that give space in front of nose and mouth; disposable is the best but reusable is good enough (wear each based on where you go and whom you meet); change everyday for reusable or twice a day of you need more comfort; wash the reusable after use the soonest possible, sprinkle mask with some herbal oil to bring good air (peppermint and lemon are good choice for breathing); cute reusable brightens days.

May all beings be happy.

always practice squinting eyes in the lift before meeting people out there 😷