Tag: ibu

Sunset That Burns

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

It burns what has been packed
And ready to depart
From where a line between boundaries are drawn.

It burns with love.

It burns with life.

It burns forever,
An eternal flame.

it’s the 40th day of my mother’s passing today and we commemorate it through a Javanese traditional ceremony, assimilated with some Islamic tradition

one of the menu in the ceremony basket is “kacang cenggereng” (fried peanuts) which is not only a snack but also a symbol

it’s a symbol of respect to the one passing and hope that the passing is safely welcomed in the next life

yellow is a very suitable colour for my mother’s crossing day as it symbolises happiness

may she be happy to meet her Beloved

terima kasih, Ibu, please send my warm regard to my father

💛

yellow, Ibu 😁💛

Happy Birthday, Ibu

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
Sweet heart, Beloved
Lingers so long, stays alive,
Connects what across.

My mother is supposed to be 81 years old if she’s alive physically. I’m sure she’s happy across, seeing I’m happy. I know she knows I miss her everyday– there is still empty seconds in the morning when I wake up seeing no WhatsApp message from her.

I’ll keep all about you in me forever, Ibu. Love ya much much❣️

Send my best regard to my father who probably is sitting with you all the time talking about you offspring.

Terima kasih, Ibu.

the last screenshot of our video call on Aug 16, 2025

even with just half of her teeth, she still is beautiful

💕

Terima Kasih

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
Kata orang aku sedih,
Bukan sedih.
Aku hanya rindu
Padamu
Ibu,
Yang padamu rasa terima kasihku tak lekang oleh waktu,
Yang padamu rasa cintaku tak pernah layu oleh masa,
Yang padamu rasa rinduku tak pernah kering oleh panas,
Yang padamu rasa ikhlasku makin padat sebelum menjadi ledakan saat kita bersatu.

Terima kasih, Ibu.

what I can remember about you, Ibu 🥰❣️

maybe this is what you’re doing now, Ibu 😁❣️

Head Bowed to Love

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
I'm bowing this head
Like sunflower to the sun
That sets then slips down.

It’s not easy to lose. It’s not easy to lose my mother. It’s not easy to lose my mother who has been so gently loving all of us. It’s not easy to lose my mother who has been so gently loving all of us with the ups and downs in our relationships. It’s not easy to lose her indeed.

This is the day on which I have to totally live normal without her presence. Today is the last day when most of our family members gather in her home. One by one we are going back to reality bringing a gaping hole in our heart called “mother, how are you today”.

No WhatsApp. No call. No monthly bank transfer. No laugher of silly things. No sad cry. No gossip about my late father. No “what’s for lunch”. No “have you taken your pills?”. No this. No that. Small things that built a castle called love have stopped coming; one by one the memories that we’ve saved fade away.

I just hope that this castle can be a temple where I worship love, not other types of building. 💕

Ibu

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
Aku tak pernah tahu
Rasa apa yang lain
Darimu buatku
Selain cinta.

Aku tak pernah tahu
Hadiah apa yang lain
Darimu buatku
Selain doa.

Tapi kau pasti tahu
Aku salah paham akan cintamu,
Aku sering lupa mendoakanmu,
Kau juga tahu aku akan tahu.

Aku tahu.
Jangan ragu, Ibu.

ibu, you annoyed me by not opening the video ☺️❣️

in Jogja ☘️💙❣️

Ibu

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
No one, Ibu
But
You
Who loves me without questioning,
Trusts me without doubting,
Gives all to me without expecting,
Lets go off your belonging for me without counting,
Does all for me without calculating.
Is it because you are a perfect human being?
But no!
It's because you see your perfection in me and
See my imperfection in you.

I always said I don't want to be like you.
You're too perfect to be copied:
Your patience:
Being abandoned,
Left,
Betrayed,
Cheated,
Lied to,
Hated,
Marginalised,
And so much more.
Your gift:
Being generous,
Kind,
Soft,
Lovely,
Caring,
Acceptant,
Lovable,
Humane,
And so much more.

Dear, Ibu.
I want to talk about you
All the time now
Because I can't talk to you
Anymore.

Yes I can
But without your voice
Kicking softly on my eardrums
Giggling about our silly days.

But I assure you:
I am letting you go wholeheartedly,
I will take care of your legacy,
I will love those whom you love, too.

Ibu, I wish I could still
hug you....

ibu, terima kasih ya….

Ibu

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
Terima kasih ya
Sudah jadikanku bagian badanmu,
Bagian jiwamu,
Bagian hidupmu.
Cuma kamu yang tiap pagi WhatsApp aku selama 13 tahun setiap pagi di manapun aku berada.
Aku kadang sebel
Tapi sering tidak sebel,
Aku suka. Rasanya seperti kau manja.
Aku janji hanya kuingat yang bikin aku makin dekat denganmu.
Sedihmu,
Bahagiamu,
Sakitmu,
Sehatmu,
Janjimu,
Cintamu.

you might not be the smartest woman on earth but trust me, Ibu you are the wisest of all – I won’t replace you with anyone

💙

terima kasih yaaa….

😘

Ibu

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
Ibu,
Thank you for becoming the gate for me to this life.
One day I said to you,
"Who knows I'll have a daughter like you have me?"
You said,
"Amen. Pray. All is good."
Then I said to you again,
"Do you love me?"
You said,
"All mothers love the children."
I said again,
"But I think you love my brothers better because they are men and I'm a woman who is not considered more valuable in our tradition?"
You smiled saying,
"You are stronger. Much stronger."

ibu, terima kasih ya ☺️

Ibu

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
There was so much time
When we were together.
There was so much time
When we were separated.
There's time.
Yes, there's still time,
Ibu.

ingat ibu….

Another Year

Learning, love, Those People

Happiest birthday
To my sacred woman,
Mother.
Please always give
Another year
Every year
For us to pay.

i used to have a difficult relationship with my mother, very difficult; whatever i did was just not acceptable — my choice was her rejection, always

one year to reconcile i asked her to go for major pilgrimage with me but she rejected saying that she was too weak to do (even i offerred the shortest period); but she agreed for a minor pilgrimage — it was to me a cauldron of patience test, and i think the same for her; but we both started to know what was the knot in the rope

i never knew how jealous a mother can be to a daughter who is close to her husband until that day when she said to me “your father loved you more than loved me” — i was very close to my father and now i knew why she wondered why; we both know and accept it now

starting that year our relationship was getting easier and easier until 2018 we were in the peak — i was in my third worst argument in my life with her (1st when i refused to marry a man chosen by her, 2nd when she disagreed with my romance that eventually ended)

since then we started to learn gradually that there was a big misconception about mother-daughter relationship

a mother who thinks that her daughter is a possession should let go; a daughter who wants total freedom should slow down — there shall be a middle way where balance is achieved

and it worked; our relationship is getting better and better — we get along very well, we are relaxed in treating each other

do i love it? yes, except that she will contact me every single day to ask me how i am 🤪

happy 80th birthday, Ibu; thank you for being my mother — hope we clean our karma in this life so when we meet again, everything is going smoothly 😘

i love you the way i do you

you know i will never let anyone hurt you

💗

Thank You, My Morning

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

Thank you, my morning
For giving my passion back
After short suicide.

the lagoon pool this morning, its splashing sound competing with the traffic picking up was the background when i called my mother after my morning walk

my mother is sometimes too worried about me then she says “you’re too active”; she’s not exactly right — yes i swim every 2 days, walk 5km every 2 days and bike now and then but i see others run, hike the mountains, box (some of my Filipino colleagues do), etc

so i told my mother just now that i will keep being active if this is what she calls active as this is what makes me greet my morning with positive vibes everyday

i don’t want to waste my time by doing what those in despair do

and she always tells me “don’t forget the routine fasting but eat more” — what?! mother…. a woman that annoys you but you can’t stop loving her

terima kasih, my morning & ibuku sayang

The Best

Learning, love, Poetic, Those People

What's best, Beloved?
The one assigned to you now.
It's one and for all.

she is not the best mother compared to others, might not even better, but i think she is the best assigned to me

it’s great to talk to my mother now and then; please live healthy and longer, Ibu 😘

Composed

Learning, love, Poetic, Those People

She's simply composed,
Not even shaken by storm.
Rooted to the earth--

My intuition works wonder when it comes to family esp mother, as if knowing when something wrong happens even no one informs me.

Yesterday I contacted my sister saying that mother might not be good. She said mother was ok and sleeping.

My gut said different. I contacted my cousin saying the same thing and she said “Yes, she fell and injured a bit on her chin and left hands.”

I happened to know later that my mother didn’t allow my sister to tell me about the incident.

I tried to digest the “lie” although the feeling inside was a mix of anger, disappointment, sadness, left behind at the same time relief that she was now ok.

This morning after a long meeting I called my mother. I really wanted to give her some “lecture” that she should be careful, should not do this or that and should let me know whatsoever happens to her. But I detered myself from doing so.

I know what I would say is something true but don’t want to hurt her motherly affectionate decision. I chose to accept her reason of not informing me: so my child can work with light heart.

My mother is one of the mentally strongest women I’ve known in life. None of people knowing her will say otherwise.

Once I joked around with her “Ibu, please pray that I don’t have to be as strong as you in life as when I’m as strong as you, it means I will have one most challenging of human life.”

She said “You can be stronger than me but don’t need to experience what I have in life. Trust your life.”

Yes, I do trust life will protect me from the harms.

I love you, Ibu. Thank you.

💕

Without Teacher

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People

What am I
Without teacher?
A lost wanderer
Losing destination.

What am I
Without teacher?
A confused traveler
Losing guidance

What am I
Without teacher?
A dreamer
Losing inspiration.

What am I
Without teacher?
A human
Losing meaning.

What am I
Without teacher?
A Soul
Repeating the same mistakes.

Dear
Teacher,
You are born
For me
To be reborn
As me.

I'm grateful to
You.

Today’s lunch break was about a phenomenal chat with some teachers of life.

Thousands if not millions of teachers have taught me in life. There are some that I cherish the most today, those that have triggered me to make biggest decisions in life.

Thank you, dear teachers❣️

Bapak Merta Ada, he was the one teaching me to go within without doubt, without limit – “spread love and compassion”, his advice 🥹

Sister Zak, my Arabic teacher — she emphasised that what we read needs to be well understood first then pondered then can be interpreted (differently) — “be a responsible interpreter of the Quran for yourself, no one to blame when you make wrong interpretation or decision“, her advice

Aaron Cass, my mentor in Beshara School who helped me open most doors of freedom of responsibly being human through his amazing knowledge and wisdom about sufism and esp about Ibn Arabi & Rumi — “from now on whatever you do differently, never make it a new religion”, his advice

Ina, a best friend from high school whose action moved my soul: she left her brilliant career (at the same time I started mine in Singapore) without new career to take care of her parents for her sense of responsibility; she took care of her mother until she passed away, now she is taking care of her father; Ina, you are beautifully blessed — “let’s exchange stupid memes and videos”, her message

dear Ibu, i won’t let anyone hurt you — “work responsibly and take care”, her every morning’s advice

Vito, my dear nephew, “i will always love you and protect you forever”, his last message before he passed

the fire warden in the mirror, “have you smiled today?” my greeting to myself

Beautifully, Humbly

Learning, love, Poetic
The tree sows thousands of seeds
That fly to all directions
And never return
Until the wind stands up
And calls.
Which seeds come back?
Any
That hear a mother
Beautifully sings with love
Humbly whispers with peace
About home
Full of
Love.

——

this is how much beautifully humble my mother is — with that she has been highly respected by those surrounding her; I won’t be as respected as she is yet I want to at least preserve some part of her humbleness 💚

Happy Birthday, Ibu

Learning, love, Poetic
Everything is centred.
My mother.
Everything is meaningful.
My mother.
Everything is wisdom.
My mother.

——

she was meeting her doctor for medical review on her birthday today — she said her health and children are the best gift forever 💕

Ibu and me in Jabal Rahmah (Mount of Love), 2016 — wishing our love spread to everyone around us

a tumpeng by me for my mother, sent via WhatsApp 🙂

Weathered

Learning, Poetic
This life’s well weathered
‘Tween hot and cold, calm and rushed.
There’s home to shelter.

——

Indonesia Mosque in Bangkok — joining a short prayer

i went to a mosque then to a small shrine today before flight — feeling the humbleness of human beings begging for help from the One indescribable unseen unexplainable, the hope tiptoeing behind fear, the weakness of human beings facing our own nature

these folded lotus flowers are floating to weather after their duty as envelopes with which prayers are sent up above through billowing smoke of incense

now i have to pack to fly back home soon to see my mother hospitalised — certain days are just under the weather

wishing all my silent chants can be medicine for the woman who loves me to the moon and back

see very soon, Ibu

may all beings be happy

💕

Angel without Wings

Learning
How do you call you
Loving expecting no pay?
Only the mother—

——

today i called her after she said that she could not sleep remembering Vito, the grandson who just passed away

this lady is impressively patient and loving her grandchildren; losing him has never been easy

she tried to hide her cry from me but her voice could not lie

if i can tell anyone about someone to never forget, it must be about mother

love her, don’t disappoint her ever again as there might have been a lot of troubles from us when we were younger

i love you, Ibu

Red Carnation

Learning
She’s strong
She’s fragile
She’s tough
She’s soft
She’s wordy
She’s taciturn
She’s generous
She’s jealous
She’s protecting
She’s weakness
She’s missed
She’s avoided
She’s mature
She’s spoiled
She’s simple
She’s intricate
She’s narrow
She’s wide
She’s shallow
She’s deep
She’s wicked
She’s kind
She’s black
She’s white
She’s every angle of life
She’s my mother,
Red carnation in one beautiful afternoon.

—-

Happy Mother’s Day, Ibu

I sent a message to my mother today to wish her happy mother’s day with a picture of red carnation attached.

Ibu: Thank you! Isn’t mother’s day Dec 22?

Me: Yes, in Indonesia. May 14 internationally.

Ibu: Nice! You send me another mother’s day wish again next Dec ya.

Me: No worry, it’s just a message. Easy! (then I called her as my fingers complained long messages)

Ibu: Not that easy, baby. Send me some tea and herbs, too.

Me: It doesn’t have to wait until Dec.

Ibu: Thank so much. Did you forget May 12 is Bapak’s birthday?

Me: Of course not! I just didn’t buy a cake, very busy wis some back to back agenda. I bought mango and still eat it until today.

Ibu: Although his body is not here, he is always with us. You pray for him right?

Me: Always, everyday I pray for him, my one and only father. I will buy a cake tomorrow.

Ibu: Ok, small one is good enough.

Salaam

carnation is about mother

Birthday

Learning, love, Poetic
On your birthday, Love,
Magic sends sweet messages
And flowers and gifts.

—

Ibu turns 78 today. It is a 78 years of human beings, 54 years of a wife, 53 years of a mother of 5. 47 years of being my mother— maybe the most annoying of facing this one rascal among 5 angels. 🙃 She might not be always happy being her but she is full of sweet smiles and words of encouragement.

If her life is a painting, it will be a colourful canvas full of fragrant tropical flowers and powerful herbs that can be concocted as medicines especially for her family and friends. Beautiful and full of healing for others— No wonder her family and neighbours highly respect her.

Ibu, I know you never like big celebration and that’s why we only send stupid messages on your birthday. But I know you always miss us to annoy you and that’s why we give surprises! Much love today and forever!

Salaam…

I sent this picture to her; maybe she was wondering why I didn’t send picture of a real birthday cake as I normally do. She will be surprised!

Oct 9, 2022

Matur Nuwun

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
The boughs touch the ground
Showing respect to nature,
Mother who loves all.
Fruits are ready to harvest
Everyday. Farmers’ blessings—

———————————————————-

One of those teaching me constant gratitude is my mother. When I share my problems, she will either tell me “We should be grateful that our problems are still solvable” or “We are still lucky that we are still given blessings when having problems” or “It is ok, someday they will understand”.

That lady is made of flexible rubber when hit by hard challenges. Nothing hurt her blessed heart. I’m lucky to be born by her. I guess God has sent her to teach me patience….

…. and at the same time to be patient. Hallow…. It takes patience to deal with patient people. I mean it!

Matur nuwun, Ibu. I love you. 💝

matur nuwun

Remember Her

Learning, This Person, Those People

Relationship pattern changes over time and so does the way children relate with their parents. Although we are far away from each other, always remember the precious role of our parents especially mother. Oh anyway, I was closer to father. As he passed away, I become close to mother.

Dear Self, at least say hi through online chat or video call. Sending her the picture of our lunch would be a good sign that we are ok. Never let her worry about us, no matter what.

To Write About Someone – ranting

Learning, love, Those People

It’s been a while that I could not write long stories. Haiku has been my choice. It enables me to put my ideas into concise version of long winding contemplation.

Suddenly I want to write a long story about someone. Maybe about someone I’ve thought I know very well but in fact I don’t really. I often misunderstand about that person. About my mother….

But again, I don’t know if I can do it well…. I’m just blank.

Green grass and an ant
Is a dot on a paper sheet.
A real confusion.

Still preparing for a better thought.

Jakarta – October 6, 2017 – 23:42

Ant-1-700x400

Picture borrowed from http://www.themost10.com/intelligent-animals-2/

Mother – haiku

Learning, love, Poetic, Those People

Morning wind’s
Breezing through open window
Opened by mom.

Thanks to all of mothers in the world for being valuable for their children….

IMG_3715

Temasek – March 9, 2015 – 6:25am

Super Woman

Learning

How would you describe a super woman?

Strong like Wonder Woman? Or, like Supergirl? Or whatever American heroines in Marvel comics and movies? That can defeat villains in one blow? What a perfect description. I can’t deny but I wouldn’t 100% agree with that.

Image

My mom is a super woman, with all these ups and downs she survives, even she can share in her lowest level of condition.

She has had debt because she had to send all her children to school. Some children of hers were still under her responsibility: financially.

But, she is as strong as rock! With all those trials, she can even melt herself into a beautiful character that would be carved as one of the most valuable pedestal in this life. She is so tough, so precious, she is just as popular as Mother Theresa. Indeed her heart is sacred as that saint from India.

Yet, she is as soft as seaweed…. Imagine how wonderful her touch is to my heart, to her children’s heart, pets’ heart, the heart of those needy she’s been helping, the heart of God….

Rock and seaweed: Both survive in the sea water.

Do you know what she has done?

She takes care of three cats – stray cats which now become healthy and sweet pets in our home – Greg (formerly Mr. Grey), Greek and Greece after Bob passed away. More than that, she is also “taking care” of the mice which would come at night eating the left over of food our family throw away just before we lock our doors. She does think that good deed will never be wrong.

Would probably update what she has done in the future for all of Readers in the world 🙂

This might be something not highly special but my mom does that sincerely. Her love is always as true as her life.

I love you, ibuku…. Love live!

YCK Rd – May 20, 2014 – 1:17am

I Let You Go To The Other Side

Bob, Learning, love

Bob’s leaving us from this dimension is still a pain for me – small pain but big enough to make me feel emotionally burdened, overwhelmed and cry. And, it is now time for me to release more significantly because the way I mourn gave my lovely son a negative energy and made him walk insincerely to leave this dimension to the next level of his life – in the cat heaven, some best friends of mine said it.

So, I keep saying to myself that Bob is fine now. He is free from any physical pain and is ready to be embraced by the eternal love of guardian angels. Bob is ready to evolve to become my guardian and he can do it only by seeing me smile, by witnessing me letting him go, by sensing my releasing heart, by kissing him heavenly kisses. I shall not mourn anymore. I am not sad because he is leaving me, not because we are apart physically, not because the way he died…. I am not mourning anymore.

I told him….

“Bob, go across the bridge. I know you need to go. You need to transform to be able to be my guardian. You belong to eternity. Angels are waiting for you with a crown and a pair of lovely wings…. I let you go…. I thank you for being my son. I am sorry if I did not take care of you all the time, but I love you…. My mom – Ibu – loves you as well… Please don’t be sad, smile…. Smile, my baby. Walk steadily, my son…. You can visit me and Ibu when you miss us. Just come to our dream, to our meditative level of brain. You may call us with your vibrating soul. Touch us, greet us gently like you kissed us, like you touched us, like you licked our skin, like you did in our contact….”

I will still write about you…. For sure.

Image

Press your soft paws to our cheek so we know when you are around. Please meow softly to us so we know that you are around. Let’s keep this love and fill the air with it. Namaste….

Image

This song is for you, Bob….

“To Where You Are” (Josh Groban)

Who can say for certain

Maybe you’re still here

I feel you all around me

Your memory’s so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You’re still an inspiration

Can it be

That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile to know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream

And isn’t faith believing

All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me everyday

‘Cause you are my

Forever love

Watching me from up above

And I believe

That angels breathe

And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up

To where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile

To know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

I know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

…..

Image

Yio Chu Kang Rd – February 28, 2014 – 9:12pm

Sweet Memory Starts

Bob, Learning, love, This Person

My son Bob was a cat with soft heart. He would never quarrel except another cat attacked him. He would just groan and groan and groan but did not move from his spot. Only if the other tomcat jumped to him, would he fight to survive.

Image

He would have a lot of reason to manipulate me. He would kiss my forehead, my nose, my lips or my cheeks to wake me up from my sleep to get whatever he wanted: food, drink or door to open.

Image

Or, he would slip under my blanket to slew comfortably, only some time then he would climb out of the blanket and sleep above me. He would snore and spread his purring beautiful sound bringing peace into my small bedroom.

Image

When you grew older, you did not want to cooperate since you had better life outside with your fellow cats. You always scratched the door to go out and it was always at 1:00am…. But for the sake of love, I opened the door for you, Bob…..

Image

You loved perching on TV as if you were the God of (modern) Cat…. Lovely boy! You are always able to steal my heart, Bob.

Image

When you were sick, you didn’t moan. You just take a silent position and keep the pain in you. I could not help except giving you the best food and medication which was probably not really the best for you…. I tried hard to keep you next to me, your soul next to mine.

Image

Then I had to leave Indonesia to pursue my dream…. I cried happy but sad…. I was given a chance to make my self more experienced in life but then I had to leave you. Could I? Who would take care of you, Bob? I had to make a hard decision. I brought you to my mom’s house – she did not have a soft spot for pets indeed.

Image

I knew you were so sad, leaving your home…. But you trusted me that you would find another home. And, yes my mom fell in love with you.

Image

I visited you when I had time to sneak out of my hectic days – some leave or long weekend really helped us to meet up…. You looked happy, Bob. We had good time…. I fed you, stroked you, kissed you, hugged you, cuddled you, took picture of you, took care of your body which grew older….

Image

My mom always said “Bob is a human, he understands how to love, he is more loving than some humans who destroy others’ happiness. Bob has given us a lot of joy…. Thanks God for everything.”

He likes to daydream in the terrace, looking at the other cats that were enjoying his food left-over. Too much to throw away, good to share with other cats…. 🙂

There was a time, we really got angry because of how people treat him. So cruel…. Beat him, splash him with water, hurt him in any way they like just because those neighbours hated cats. But Bob was too weak to counterstrike. He just went home with the wound then we would lovingly treated him until he got well. We loved you, Bob and we do and will always do.

Image

Then came a message that you were sick, puking all food you ate. Eating then puking two hours later; that was a pattern. My could not do anything. Nobody would help to take her to the vet. She lives in a village where people are busy taking care of their own poverty – there was no thinking of getting medication for animal.

Plus my mom was so busy taking care of my sick sister. I am sorry, my son Bob. We had been so occupied by our humane life that we did not take a good care of you humanely. I am sorry, we are sorry.

My mom said Bob stayed at home since Friday (Feb’ 21) until today when she found him dead on the floor of one cool bedroom – it is where I slept when I was still staying with my family. It is the coolest room in the house.

I don’t want to remember how he died. I want to remember how he lived.

He lived as a son of mine, bringing me joy and a lot of blessings. He has been sacrificing his free will to be my family member. He was so willing to share his pureness with us. He shared his sincere soul to grow among us. He inspired us with love and sincerity. He let himself be part of the madness of human in our life. You gave us love, Bob…..

Image

I released you with all my heart.

I heard a voice calling my name last night “Rike” and I just thought it was you telling me that it is time. You called me to give a sign…. I should not have been afraid, I should have remembered you who was trying to open the door “home”…..

Now you are home, Bob. It is the real home. Your body is buried but your soul is forever, here guarding me from any not-loving and insincerity. Thank you, son. Thank you for being flower of my soul. I know I am so heartsick, ibu* is so sad, too…. You know it, right? We know you know it. But you smile because it was your time. Time to go home, where we will also go to be together. Play, boy…. Play with the fragrance of flowers among the cats that can fly high to reach the Source without mourning.

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I am sad for I was not with you when you were dying. But I know you know how much I love you. The pictures above are tokens of our relationship son – mother of cat. Hope you care to share your joy with the other souls who have gathered in the other side…. Or, even you care to share with the Source how you have made us accept life as it is.

Bob, you are always in our heart. Even the sweet memories have just started on Feb’ 25 when I heard the message that the bodily Bob died and the soul is wrapped in silk and put in a pretty basket embraced by a pair of sacred angels to the heaven.

Jakarta (Grand Hyatt), February 25, 2014 – 10:21pm

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SEPI

Learning, love

Ada yang harus dikorbankan untuk mencapai keinginan.

Aku rela rindu
Pada ibu
Pada Bob, kucingku
Pada dua kakak perempuanku
Pada adikku
Pada kakak lelakiku
Yang di seberang segara….

Dan, pada bapak
Di alam sana….

Inikah muara pencarianku.
Menjadi perantau yang selalu rindu
Rumah….

Kugenggam erat mimpi
Jangan terlepas lagi.

Rindu ini kan tersampaikan
Dalam rangkuman doa,
Lantunan lagu,
Hembusan angin…

Sampai jumpa…

Temasek – tempatku dulu mengejar layangan 🙂
19 Juli 2013 – 10:07 malam

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