Care comes from nowhere Free of charge in a white bag Called good heart.
—
coming home from office today, i found a white bag from no name — without opening it i knew it was sukun (breadfruit) from Aunty Goh, the kind lady
thank you❣️
With all the limitation some people are still willing to share. This touches my very heart.
Ramadhan (Islamic fasting month) is coming soon. Although sharing is not necessarily done only in Ramadhan, yet doing it in a month when I subdue more physical desire will expose myself to more meanings of life– hopefully. Sharing starts with Aunty Goh and the gang!
Please allow me, dear Aunty Goj to cook a simple dish for you this week.
This is a powerful song that always hits me at the core when I am complaining about what is not up to my expectation in life.
matur nuwun, Mbah Tejo for this powerful reminder about life
The poetic composition with “urip” (life in Javanese) and the “utang rasa” (owing the feel) reminds me that life is about crediting the feels we debit from others.
Life is about experiencing the feels whether it is giving, borrowing, owing or paying. What feels do we want to give? What feels do we want to borrow? What feels are we willing to owe? What feels do we need to pay for balance? Up to us.
When someone passes away, s/he will be remembered of what feels s/he has left in life whether what’s credited or debited.
Sometimes I talk to myself: what feel do you want to pay that you are so bitter to life?
Dear, Self. I am sorry. I’ve owed you so much negativity that I have nothing to pay but positivity.
One thing: I don’t want to have zero as zero will put flat tone in my humanity. I want to have more saved than deducted. Yet…. I cannot 100% be sure.
There's a time, my dear You cherish with sweet breathing. Winning against self--
—
i used to be very harsh to myself until 2019 when two doctors made me realise that taking care of my body is as important as taking care of my spirit and mental
i started expressing myself more freely and genuinely, less drama, no excuse to stop me from being calm and confident, accepting me the way me is, unlearning old knowledge, learning new knowledge, opening my heart to all possible layers of truth and beauty
now i believe i am one of this world champions seeing how well i coped with my own self until i can feel so comfortable again back to my me
…. now i won’t let those playing around with me for their own fun in to my life as my life is not only a span of fun free time yet it is a span of fun dedicating time
thank you all for being you even with just a brief existence herenow in this short journey
Coincidently waking up With light breath And open eyes In a good morning That calls for Another day.
Some don't know the feel And it's just a coincidence For me? How fair life is! How unfair life is!
Be blessed, dear. Be blessed everyday With the blessings That come from Every other way.
—
That coincidence often comes as blessings might have been ingrained in me, even more.
One Coldplay-big-fan friend said to me some time ago “If you have spare ticket for Coldplay in Singapore, please sell it to me.” He really wanted to watch Coldplay in many different places. Seems to him Coldplay has brought in a lot of good meanings into his life. Not denying this possibility, I have to admit the lyrics are powerful for those wanting to look deep in to their own selves.
I said “I will but it is a very thin chance knowing this band has tremendously massive lovers.”
Sorry, friend….
Yet one fine day in January one good friend from Jakarta texted me asking if he can let me buy two Jan 30’s Coldplay show tickets as he was “suddenly” assigned for a biz trip and would not make it to be in Singapore for the show. What a blow! This friend and his wife would have met me before or after the show so I was kind of upset to hear the news. Yet at the same time I remembered that one friend would be super excited to buy the tickets.
What a coincidence!
Long story short the Coldplay-big-fan friend agreed to buy two. He wanted to watch with his friend this time.
Some time after he agreed, he texted me again saying that his friend could not fly in for the show. Honestly I felt it was another coincidence as I was also thinking of going again – I found listening to “Biutyful” live was addictive to me. So, I asked if it was ok for me to buy the other ticket: Coincidently he agreed; he must have really wanted to watch with his special friend yet he welcomed me nicely.
excited in my 3rd watch! more? no, no, it was the last for the “Music of The SpheresWorld Tour”, now time to enjoy them back in Apple Music 😃
So, this time we watched from above. A very stunning view with all the well-arranged illumination and performance.
Another coincidence. My friend and I didn’t say anything about which tee to wear yet both of us happened to wear the same one: Coldplay 2023 Tokyo special edition design. Wow!
We both went crazy blended with others who were as crazy as us. I don’t know when I will meet him again after the show but I truly thank him for giving me a lesson that someone can love something (in his case a band) that he is capable of explaining almost all fun facts about the band that I didn’t even think exist. Memorizing all songs’ lyrics, knowing albums and EP contents, and so on and so forth! Thank you, KM-san! God bless you. 🙏🏼
I asked him how he could memorise all lyrics. His answer was annoyingly true “If you love something, you will remember.” Damn! I just realized forgetful is my middle name especially when dealing with passwords and where I put small stuff. 😂
Jan 31 was another merry day. My niece watched with her best friend and they stayed overnight in my home after that. Her friend is a journalist who knows how to access “Kampung Badui Kanekes” that I have dreamed of visiting. To my excitement he agreed to escort me to visit the unique ethnic group in Banten anytime I want to go. ♥️
Should I underestimate a coincidence? Or, actually there is no that that we call coincidence. It is just a lesson that we never clearly see and (hopefully) later will be well learnt.
Thank You!!!!
among all this is my favourite photo – AngelMoon❣️ BIUTYFUL!!!
Fragrance of sambac Ferries the wish to the love Reborn with new scents.
——
The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.
I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so — remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. 🥰 We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.
Yet….
reborn
not interested in talking in group except for work;
prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;
choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;
respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesn’t matter
still the same human being yet not the same anymore;
so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrue…. 💚
Life is mysteriously beautiful.
Thank You so very much!
Alfatihah.
my younger brother’s 1st son was a newborn death; my older brother’s sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 — wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck 💕😊 you’re (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! 💕💕😊
What I see… I am in a forest away From comfort of thought. I am not in a castle In which mind is blunted. My heart finds home In which 25 prophets And 1000 saints Have found the paths.
It is a way That all Prophets and Saints bless.
I am home With the flow That brings petals To where fragrance blends With clarity of fluids, Various fluids Gliding to a vast ocean Of love.
——
i don’t care anymore what i am called by them — Muslim? Alhamdulillah, Sufi? Subhanallah, Buddhist? Masya Allah
what i am sure of is that my sutra is sutra of love with which all prophets and saints have travelled, whatever religions they have been associated with
There are two gateways To enter one gallery Full of works of art.
——
my left side of face is sadder, bitter and negative with which i’ve been made more and more accepting to unwelcoming sides of life 💕
my right is happier, sweeter and optimistic that has persuaded me to be more and more letting go of what is not working after some good deed 💕
whatever unpleasant and pleasant things others say about me, i feel complete with some gap that might not need to be bridged simply to show that imperfection is a perfect gift in life 💕
Note: the picture at the bottom is batik scarf designed by Dudung Aliesyahbana, a batik maestro from Pekalongan, Central Java
We fight We peace We laugh We cry We tease We toast We friend We dance! We grow We flow We age We page!
What goes around Comes around, And friends Are best to count.
——
Some of my colleagues are very good friends of mine. We genuinely talk as friends outside of work term. They invite me for drinking without making me drink what they drink. We celebrate birthdays together and deeply share some ideas of how life is.
This and next weeks we meet for work and have good chances to meet almost every day after all back to back meetings. Lunch and dinner can be the best time to insert some teasing and sharing and blessing.
We are growing old but still excited of what we are doing at work.
Thanks for pur wonderful life celebration.
Salaam.
growing old and mature is a luxury; let’s enjoy it with true friends 💕
This Javanese adage means more or less a human being who is able to understand clearly with very little explanation.
Janma or jalma: human being
Limpat: agile, intelligent
Seprapat: one quarter
Tamat: completed, full, comprehensive in oneself, an end
This type of human beings is considered able to see the big picture of certain perceived matters up to to sense what details are needed to solve the questions within the matters. And the people are considered able to do it with very minimum instructions from others. In a nutshell this type is EXCEPTIONALLY talented/gifted.
In Javanese wisdom the comprehensiveness of this agile human being include one’s integrated personality and identity. With only scientific intelligence an agile person is considered not comprehensively addressing an issue; s/he must be spiritually intelligent as well. So sh/e must be a person who has been wised up by life.
There are some characteristics that might attach to this type of human being. I won’t talk about all; one or two probably.
One personality trait attached is low key, humble. It is a norm that this type of person with one outstanding quality will not boast of what one can do. There is only observing what happens around and seeing if any help is requested then one will do what’s needed to achieve the agreed goals.
This type of Javanese will not say to others “I will prove it” or “Yes I did it”. Nope! For one glorified victory is not important as life is not a competition. There is no “Fear Of Missing Out”. Yes, one admits “You Live Only Once”; yet at the time for the kind of soul life is forever. Life is forever — either based on incarnation concept in which karma makes a soul re-incarnate, or based on utilitarianism concept in which human being should die leaving good legacy. For sure one knows life is not a play to win greedily but it is a play to finish wholeheartedly.
Anyways this janma limpat seprapat tamat is rarely found nowadays with loud-boast showy characters becoming one condition of popularity and/or favour in “like-dislike” culture in social media. Human beings gradually leave this old “skill” and grow to become a species that craves for fame and treasure. Unfortunately….
all parts of coconut tree are useful, that’s the life of janma limpat seprapat tamat human being 🙏🏼
I did meet a few senior Javanese men and women of this janma limpat seprapat tamat. One of them was my late uncle. He passed away leaving great legacy — humble loving cousins of mine and beautiful family history of ours. He was born to an affluent family yet he acted social, wise, humble, kind ordinary person. He helped neighbours needing help, supported younger siblings to succeed life and to love family wholeheartedly. He was our story teller of our family unwritten humble history. I am content to know from him that our ancestors were influential yet choosing to take side of the low class people and so decided to live at the edge rather than in the centre.
What can a janma limpat seprapat tamat do?
Most people believe this type knows what will happen before it happens including but not limited to one’s own death time and/or place and/or manner. Although the person one’s self might not think it is important, it is scarily incredible. To this type the most important thing is able to make decision that will make surrounding “not meet danger” rather than “fight against danger”. To this kind of soul life should be flowing rather than flooding.
This type of Javanese human being also does a lot of fasting. One considers fasting as a way of life. One eats very little. One sleeps very little. One enjoys mundane life very little. One looks like ordinary people but one resembles a saint. Humanely normal outside, sacredly extraordinary inside. One one’s self in one’s own self is like lotus growing in the mud, rose blooming among thorns, clean eel living in the muddy pond — living normal beautifully in one’s own high level of humanity.
As a Javanese do I want to reach the quality?
Although to be a janma limpat seprapat tamat is incredible, I don’t want to be at that super level now. I want to be an ordinary Javanese who is able to have rather relaxed life — eating when hungry with occasional fasting, napping when sleepy with occasional overtime, traveling with suitcase although sitting in (premium) economy class for my personal trips. My life should be living in moderation — not as the poor, not as the billionaire. Hey! I also want to die when I’ve let my own self go although I might not know when and where and how.
With no white towel I surrender To the realm that hugs this heart. I am water flowing With no effort To the ocean that waits for this mind. How would this name Say no to a call that sings love songs? I submit everything With a smile And grace. Body, mind, spirit and soul—
-
Jun 10, 2023 when the air taps my whole reality with everything subtle and overwhelming
——
please excuse my strong arms 😀
after the Tapa Brata my classmates and I are still escorted to meditate everyday of 60 minutes for 90 days
it should be 36th day today but i only have 33 days in which i am able to do full meditation — in fact my doctor was quite surprised that unbelievable progress is indicated in better numbers from the laboratory test result after i meditate regularly — happy tears 🥹
my health is much better with calmness that is on track andharmonious thought that builds gradually
i’ve registered to next level Tapa Brata next Sep so i can get more benefits to help certain issues in this beloved aging body and to strengthen my mind
can’t wait to meet with the wise teachers who guide us and humble caretakers who help us with daily needs in Forest Island 🥰
i don’t know for sure what i can share from my achievement through meditation yet maybe someday i can help others reduce health complaints at low cost — i’ve always wanted to cure diseases with fragrance and herbs; my high intelligent friends said “pseudoscience, a crap wrapped in fancy paper”, i said “it doesn’t matter at least i can help them feel calmer and think positive”
all what happen in my life are like magic both the unexpected and expected — i hope my meditation brings more good magical celebrations to me and my beloved family and friends
I started teaching this morning. Overall I’ll be teaching English, soft skills, art and hopefully someday Japanese. I partner with my best friend to establish a free weekend class for the kids and youth in her small library in south area of Yogyakarta. It is a community support that we humbly provide for a better leadership and communication skills of our young generation.
We have very very very limited budget but we commit to help the community not only to welcome but also to design bright future.
Pray for us.
May all beings be happy.
children class this morning — very very basic communication skills of reading, writing, listening, speaking — what a sweet fun session! 💝
these two girls were the youngest students today 💝
All cuts and bruises Paint a life of a blossom Before it decays.
—
i was so young and innocent, a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i was so much blessed 💝
life has brought me travel through labyrinth of life with traps and turns that cut and torture yet i am still a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i am still so much blessed with cuts and bruises 💝 i’ve lost much but i find myself
no one shall erase this happy girl within — a blessed soul that travels through space and time 🙏🏼 thank you
Breathing the same air Under the same sun and moon, All pray for good days.
—
Sharing is not only about self satisfaction and social support, it is also about gauging how much I dare to let go of what heavy and significant. Trust me giving will not make you poor.
This monthly food sharing is about Ramadhan odd night and night of revelation (lailatul qadar).
Salaam.
💝
package for some elderly people and tricycle drivers who deserve food sharing back in my mother’s town 💝
what’s inside
while the monthly food sharing is without kue apem, this maleman food sharing is with kue apem 💝
Not only fruits, It might be flowers, seeds and seedlings. It might be leaves, woods or saps. It might be barks, husks or roots. It might be more. Whatever beneficial—
What is this tree harvested for? None— No. Either One: Good deed or good time.
Harvest from life, Beloved. Remember to sow before the next reap.
Her heart and soul is her best seeds, And she is the farmer and the crop.
biggest lessons taken from this — not so much relatable yet good lessons indeed
a bit of hilariously heroic – good to build good mood 😃
Smile, Beloved, smile. It’s a luxurious gift For you and for me.
—
I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.
Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. 💝
Thank you!
💝
sleepy, angry, yet stop telling me to take a nap! 😂😂😂
classroom, my party time; playground, my party time, my childhood was everyday party! 👯♀️
no smile, no mercy 😃
length of hair defines how I treat the world; i love my pretty silly me! 😃
Number’s readable, Intension’s not. Heart can read Yet eyes can deny.
—
My Japan trip gave me a lot of insight. That an intension can be hidden yet sooner or later it will be naturally disclosed. That I should not entertain any underestimating and/or disrespecting expression —hidden or shown— as life is moving forward not backward. That if symbols or signs are not delivered to me as good will, all of them are false; ignoring them is the best way. That it is the right way to let them happily underestimate and/or disrespect and/or show superiority as their life style.
Human being should communicate verbally as part of real interaction. Without clear and genuine verbal communication at all and just sending signs and symbols, they fail respecting others. Wishing happiness is the best way as that’s what they need the most. Stopping interacting in whatsoever way is the best decision as they don’t contribute anything except confusion.
Happy weekend! 😍
13 can be 13 or “1 and 3” or 4 or 3 or 2 or nothing — whichever you choose to be, don’t choose to be “corrosion on an iron bar, permanently damaging the quality of the bar”
Two enter a gate So they can end a journey In a brand new start.
—
Found another book of “Big Panda and Tiny Dragon” by James Norbury in Changi Airport T3 today.
colour that is always stunning
an ever gatefeeling like an ever-incomplete being, the expansiveness is incredibly significant – there’s a need to see a vastness to finally realise that it’s all about accepting a limitlooking at the mirrorbe scared as it is to experience 💗heaven feels like flowing river – does it?been lost physically and spiritually, and found too in both 💕
Weekend is a cleaning and packing day accompanied by comedians in YouTube.
💝
she was a teacher, now a stand-up comedian – in both professions she stands out; whatever you are, you can be outstanding only with one condition: dedication to what you are doing
Why 9? It’s just 9. When counting 9, it brings 9. 9 is 9. Be 9.
—
Why 9?
Back to uni days I was very keen of learning numerology, slightly superstitious to certain level but it was very entertaining and encouraging. It doesn’t give me a lot of benefits in career but a little knowledge about numerology sometimes gives me unique perspective of problem solving; or hmmm at least good distraction. Based on numerology each number has meaning and energy. Different number, different meaning, different vibe, different luck.
Among all numbers my favourite is 1, 7, 9. Very personal. Yet I like to make it look reasonable and logical. 😊
bus 179 😎
What about those numbers?
1 – One is loyalty, dedication, unity, singularity. We are loyal when we “worship” one – the God, the love. Dedication is focusing on one – one company, one citizenship, one goal. Unity is multiple agreeing on one – unity in diversity. Singularity is uniqueness of one, no comparison – feel it when we’re alone, that’s who you are. My definition as individual being rules the game.
7 – Seven is pitu in Javanese, an abbreviation of pitulungan that means help, support. No one can live alone as social beings so helping and supporting each other is the only way to survive in society. Cultural definition rules the game.
9 – September the 9th month is my birth month. I was categorised to have a character of group 9 in one numerology class. Almost dead at 9. 9 is the only number that I adore because of its logical and scientific function. 9 is my lucky number! Both empirical and logical experiences rule the game.
Dear, my favourite numbers. When will my company stock price go up back to 179 again? That is the point of my favourite numbers ranting today!
Happy weekend!
one of special Math operations of 9
all the opposite sides of a dice add up to 7 – hey! I am not a gambler
Life is a mystery. Human to solve it. Not always successful, yet it is worth doing.
Life is a gift. Human to thank for it. Not always easy, yet it is worth doing.
Life is a journey. Human to travel it. Not always smooth, yet it is worth doing.
Life is love. Human is to accept it. Not always sweet, yet it is worth doing.
Life is of this or that to be experienced. Human is to keep living within the given time, a line between two points. There is so much to take and give and I thank for everything — that I know when I know, that I know when I don’t know.
Will not ignore how precious this life is. Will always be patient with this self in experiencing it.
While writing this, I am spending some time in Erawan Shrine before going to Svarnabhum Airport. I am now witnessing the power of storytelling. Soon I will be back to the hotel just next to it to pick up my luggage then go home.
My head is now ranting:
You can make religion and spirituality good commodity through story telling. Tell people that through your piousity and spirituality you will help them solve their problems or be close to gods or be happy or get their wishes come true; they will come to you with or without believing whether you are true or not. Don’t tell them they should pay as it is contra productive. Just tell them there will be energy exchange so logistics should be co-financed.
It is great and amazing that tourism is designed that way.
When will mosques ask visitors to pay? If they do, they’d better have a good storytelling more than cleaning cost. If not, that is great.
Don’t get me wrong, I am one of those believing with the power of religiosity and spirituality that solve life mystery. With one condition: if told in a wise and sweet way and told by a reliable person. Otherwise, they’d better eat their own sh*t (sh*t can be a lot of money from those being fooled around by them); don’t expect karma as they believe what they do is all right.
God bless gods. God bless all shrines, temples, churches, mosques, etc where people are praying. God bless storytelling.
God bless Erawan Shrine to where I will be back until I stop visiting Bangkok heaven knows when.
❤️
the one prayed to – i love gold!concise introduction, the gate of a storytellingpray, human to the gold-platedqueue, human; your turn will come soongate where flowers and offerings are sold; it is the ticket to pray!i love the purple garland and the cute elephantslogistics behind the scene #1; God bless youlogistics behind the scene #2; God bless youno, no! politicians can’t wait, your problems can 💔
The room becomes bright With two smiles under dim light. Feel good with good sight.
—-
I met a good friend and he could not stop talking about how hard it has been for him to feel good behind his (nice) smile. He said that he is constantly in stress of silent competition at work or in loneliness far away from family. He said that people around him seem unhappy to see others happy.
Me: Normal! It happened to me when I was young. Getting older, it is easier to accept what is.
GF: You did compete? Unbelievable! You seem to have neither ambition to excel nor spirit to live. Low profile, high product yuck! Your motto sucks!
Me: I did lightly. You’re still young so just enjoy your competitiveness and being away from family. Make more friends and only one girlfriend. Some day you will be where I am now when nothing is worth chasing except cockroach to kill.
GF: So you feel good all the time?
Me: Most of the time only, not all the time lah… I am not a Barbie doll.
GF: Meaning you never have problem?
Me: Do I look like not having problem?
GF: I know you have problems and are sometimes upset about people.
Me: Ya, I do have problems. People confront me. I confront people. But I minimise blaming others. Most thing if not everything is about me making incorrect decisions. I am sometimes very very unhappy about others, too. I act boldly occasionally to show boundary.
GF: And you still can feel good when you are not happy?
feel good is contagious
Me: Yes, I have a lot of distractions ready: work, books, orchids, painting, people although mostly not them, biking, cooking. End the unhappy time fast.
GF: How?
Me: Distract yourself. Flip the coin to the other side. And remember feel good is contagious. At least you don’t look gloomy when you feel good.
GF: So how do you think I should feel good when my colleague stabs me in the back?
Me: Feel good that it is not you stabbing people in their back. Thank God for showing the real friends to you.
GF: Argh! I want to punch his face!
Me: Ouch! Will it make you feel good?
GF: Maybe, but makes me look not good, then makes me feel not good.
Me: Wow! You master it already!
GF: But don’t you realise some people will get offended even when we feel good and do things as we are? They think we are insensitive. They think we are ridiculing them.
Me: Why care? You only need your approval to do something that makes you feel good, with one condition: that you do it without intension of offending or hurting others.
GF: If they get offended?
Me: I…. Don’t…. Care….
GF: Okaaaaaay! Hey! How is the food?
Me: Not so good 😩 The worst tom yum on earth!
GF: Agree. So is it because you are not able to appreciate the food? And how do you minimise blaming others in this case?
Me: Of course I blame the chef! You think I am his mother? Let’s not be back to this restaurant again.
GF: 😂😂😂
Lessons learnt: stay away from chatty friends when hungry, be relaxed when talking to young men as they explode easily, find a good restaurant or cook your own tom yum, get older without grudge, avoid those disrespecting you, laugh joyfully
see you again, Bangkok! thank you for bringing me this funny friend and the APEC meeting 2022 😩 both make me feel like a good human being: acting wise to one and waking up early because of the other 😊
Blessing is a swan Walking, swimming and flying Around garden lake.
—
when I was a girl, I wanted to be a flight attendant traveling around; thanks God I don’t deserve to be so I can be a passenger traveling to accompany them 🥰
rike jokanan 
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