graphs of my Universe
There's so much here
Wanting to burst
Colours and fragrances
That have been hiding
In a deep cave
For ages.
It is gemstones,
The petrified blood, tears and sweats
Traveling with time and space:
Flowing river
To the turquoise sea
Uniting with
You.
RC Gorman’s work of art
i kno it’s U
Who's a knight who shoots?
Archer who knows the bull's eye
And bow and arrow--
Satria manah (satrio manah) is a Javanese phrase formed by two words:
1. Satria or satrio that means a knight,
2. Manah that is derived from the word panah (archery in Javanese). Panah (Noun) is changed to manah (Verb)
As name of batik pattern should be incorporated with wisdom, the interpretation can be built with some exaggeration or maybe slightly drammatical structure. And so, satria manah is not simply a knight who shoots anything but it is intrepreted as a knight who shoots accurately at the heart of a lady.
Life of a wise can be as light as shooting a heart; yet as hard as shooting at the right spot so that it won’t hurt the heart; it even will make the lady fall in love harder with the knight.
Is that even possible?
I don’t know. Not a knight, am not a wise knight. A lady, am the lady whose heart should be shot by a wise knight. 😁
Another fun fact this batik is usually worn by the groom-to-be’s parents when they are officially proposing the bride-to-be in front of her family. The groom-to-be may also wear this batik when he is with his parents during the marriage proposal. Unofficially? the man can propose the woman personally before introducing to each other’s family.
What batik should be worn by the bride-to-be in the marriage proposal? It is batik semen rante. What is that? I will talk about it next year when the semen rante is ready to ship to me by Mbak Izzah. ☺️
This batik has given me a light heart and a good laugh after a long day.
Have a good weekend!
the batik that is ready for delivery
close up of batik Satria Manah
There's no place for you
But when I dream. Where are you
When I'm up, my love?
Friendship
Is one fragment of life
That keeps me alive.
It hits me so warmly
With friends' openness.
It hits me so sadly
With their secret battles.
There is a way and
There is the other way
To meet again
Always one day.
Fauzia Fatchan or Fau or Uud is a great friend of mine. She was one supporting badass in uni time; she was an objective wall between those cheating and those with integrity. Her critical thinking would make those cheating to know their “no worth” and at the same time make those with integrity to humbly stay composed.
She’d been my best discussion buddy in all topics! Politics, social, economy, culture, religion, spirituality, education, poverty, conflict free mineral, business, sex, romance, etc. She would tell me I was misled when I had insufficient data to say my analysis. She would tell me excellent when my opinion outsmarted hers.
She yet would laugh her shits out when I broke my heart romantically.
“You are more valuable than those underestimating you or ignoring you!” That was a voice echoing until now.
She is the one I name a perfect friend!
I haven’t talked with her for the past 4 months as we both had been tremendously busy. She’d been managing her rare earth mine in one of big islands in Indonesia.
She is now battling against a rare disease, leaving no chance for me to hear her voice anymore.
I called her through video call by her brother’s help. I believed she could hear, she didn’t say anything but she moved her mouth everytime I called her name like saying something.
I love you so much, dear best friend.
I love you as an honest friend.
I love you as a proud Indonesian.
I love you as an extraordinary human being.
I love you as you!
Dear, Fauzia Fatchan. Even if I can not meet you again, I am honored to have lived as a human being knowing you.
See you again in eternity, my dear…
❣️
If we both have time, we will meet again, that was what you said in our last conversation.
I am sorry that I told you all my battles while you’d been in the same one, my dear. Please forgive me.
From a broken hearted friend because of your condition….
Rike
Is there anyone
Before
&
After
Me
Leaving
Without permission?
None--
It is a consent that forms
Life,
A period where
You
&
I
Meet at a dot on a ring.
salam, dear shrine where heart and soul escort body to whisper all secrets
Kameyama Shrine
before cleaning – looked like birds loved to bathe and leave some feathers as token of gratitude
after cleaning – no one asked me to clean this, i just felt that i needed to give Japan a small token of gratitude and Kameyama Shrine be the one to receive it
always praying someday I can come back to that shrine. I will tell her that she did give me amazing vibe in my whole visit in Kameyama. Shrines, mosques, temples, churches and other places where human beings whisper their heart and soul out have always been a charm to me.
enso – there’s a dot where two extremes meet and form balance to ensure life flows
A song is flowing,
Pushing in rhythms and rhymes
To a realm of love.
love to listen to this 24/7
I won't miss the train.
The last. A home is waiting
With a cup of tea.
i saw this scene very often from my room; last midnight was the most impressive when i felt so much love living as me with no one but me ❣️
There is birth and death
And love in between those two.
Continuous life—
RC Gorman’s work of art
For:
You
Who breathes love in silence,
Who touches heart in secret,
Who smiles in the dark,
Who listens to whispers,
Who reads all scrolls,
Who kisses faraway dreams;
Take these roses,
That dance with the wind,
That spread strange chemicals,
That show off colours,
That boast deadly pricks,
That symbolise love,
That decay over time.
if i were roses, what would life be?
You're so brilliant,
Flickering rays dancing bright.
You hide the love behind curtains of light,
Unveiled.
It was my father’s birthday yesterday. He is to be 85 years old physical being this year and is a happy united soul in heaven.
Happy birthday, Bapak. You are loved. You are remembered.
You’ve been a northern lights or southern lights 😁 to us, rare and beautiful — shining in the dark.
aurora borealis….
if time allows….
About aurora
I've opened curtains,
Layers of curtains
Curtains of light;
Lifting layer by layer of the dark,
Distinguishing hues in stacked of spectrums
Then
Here
You are
Converting this believing
To this knowing.
It's been
Light upon light.
—
His light is like a niche in which there is a lamp, the lamp is in a crystal, the crystal is like a shining star, lit from the oil of a blessed olive tree, located neither to the east nor the west, whose oil would almost glow, even without being touched by fire. Light upon light!….
(The Light, 35)
I don't own this body
I don't own this heart
I don't own this soul
I don't own this life
I owe
You.
Yet do
You know that
You owe me, too?
All these limited experiences that imprison
You belong to me.
All in all
I belong to
You.
—
some part of me is a monk, some part is a bitch and that fact makes me perfect of being a human
💕
(picture from Pinterest)
There's a time, my dear
You cherish with sweet breathing.
Winning against self--
—
i used to be very harsh to myself until 2019 when two doctors made me realise that taking care of my body is as important as taking care of my spirit and mental
i started expressing myself more freely and genuinely, less drama, no excuse to stop me from being calm and confident, accepting me the way me is, unlearning old knowledge, learning new knowledge, opening my heart to all possible layers of truth and beauty
now i believe i am one of this world champions seeing how well i coped with my own self until i can feel so comfortable again back to my me
…. now i won’t let those playing around with me for their own fun in to my life as my life is not only a span of fun free time yet it is a span of fun dedicating time
thank you all for being you even with just a brief existence here now in this short journey
💕
How do you feel loved?
Not so much effort,
It's just a smile,
Or a cuddle from a dog.
I'm loved,
I'm loved
Just because
Life loves,
Love lives
Here
Now.
—
before going back to Singapore, i visited my friend in Lod Tunduh – she has 2 dogs and both love me so much, wherever i sit, both will sneak around like this!
You're pretty beautiful
Filling me with so much love
Through eyes that are closed.
—
both the dancers and the cute watcher are pretty beautiful –
Coincidently waking up
With light breath
And open eyes
In a good morning
That calls for
Another day.
Some don't know the feel
And it's just a coincidence
For me?
How fair life is!
How unfair life is!
Be blessed, dear.
Be blessed everyday
With the blessings
That come from
Every other way.
—
That coincidence often comes as blessings might have been ingrained in me, even more.
One Coldplay-big-fan friend said to me some time ago “If you have spare ticket for Coldplay in Singapore, please sell it to me.” He really wanted to watch Coldplay in many different places. Seems to him Coldplay has brought in a lot of good meanings into his life. Not denying this possibility, I have to admit the lyrics are powerful for those wanting to look deep in to their own selves.
I said “I will but it is a very thin chance knowing this band has tremendously massive lovers.”
Sorry, friend….
Yet one fine day in January one good friend from Jakarta texted me asking if he can let me buy two Jan 30’s Coldplay show tickets as he was “suddenly” assigned for a biz trip and would not make it to be in Singapore for the show. What a blow! This friend and his wife would have met me before or after the show so I was kind of upset to hear the news. Yet at the same time I remembered that one friend would be super excited to buy the tickets.
What a coincidence!
Long story short the Coldplay-big-fan friend agreed to buy two. He wanted to watch with his friend this time.
Some time after he agreed, he texted me again saying that his friend could not fly in for the show. Honestly I felt it was another coincidence as I was also thinking of going again – I found listening to “Biutyful” live was addictive to me. So, I asked if it was ok for me to buy the other ticket: Coincidently he agreed; he must have really wanted to watch with his special friend yet he welcomed me nicely.
excited in my 3rd watch! more? no, no, it was the last for the “Music of The Spheres World Tour”, now time to enjoy them back in Apple Music 😃
So, this time we watched from above. A very stunning view with all the well-arranged illumination and performance.
Another coincidence. My friend and I didn’t say anything about which tee to wear yet both of us happened to wear the same one: Coldplay 2023 Tokyo special edition design. Wow!
We both went crazy blended with others who were as crazy as us. I don’t know when I will meet him again after the show but I truly thank him for giving me a lesson that someone can love something (in his case a band) that he is capable of explaining almost all fun facts about the band that I didn’t even think exist. Memorizing all songs’ lyrics, knowing albums and EP contents, and so on and so forth! Thank you, KM-san! God bless you. 🙏🏼
I asked him how he could memorise all lyrics. His answer was annoyingly true “If you love something, you will remember.” Damn! I just realized forgetful is my middle name especially when dealing with passwords and where I put small stuff. 😂
Jan 31 was another merry day. My niece watched with her best friend and they stayed overnight in my home after that. Her friend is a journalist who knows how to access “Kampung Badui Kanekes” that I have dreamed of visiting. To my excitement he agreed to escort me to visit the unique ethnic group in Banten anytime I want to go. ♥️
Should I underestimate a coincidence? Or, actually there is no that that we call coincidence. It is just a lesson that we never clearly see and (hopefully) later will be well learnt.
Thank You!!!!
among all this is my favourite photo – Angel Moon❣️ BIUTYFUL!!!
favourite of mine ♥️
Those who never get drunk
Of love
Will misunderstand it.
Lust and love
Are coal and diamond.
One is clear around a lady's finger.
One is dark in a lady's fireplace.
Which of which, Beloved
Is precious?
Either
In different dimensions.
—
To remember you is hard
With only shadow in my eyes.
To touch you is hard
With dimensions between us.
To see you is hard
With you unwilling to show up.
To hear you is hard
With your vague heads-up.
Yet to love you is light
As light as light brightening my heart.
—
someone is lucky to be capable of loving even that whose heart is a frozen clover 🍀
Once I saw a name
On one of my 100 days
Then a cloud flew
Over the same night
Sweeping away a story
Leaving an end
Hanging silently
With no word
Just my throbbing heart
Counting how long spaces were.
Then I asked you
"Did I really see
You?"
—
Life is given
Each day
To those
Falling in love.
How can I not breathe
You?
—
the flowers give life to the statue
Atsushi Taniguchi is a florist whose flower arrangements define that that i call falling in love — colourful yet not busy, packed yet not congested, priceless yet not expensive, easy yet not cheap, meticulous yet not complicated
💕
I can only love me
As me is the closest
One
To
You.
——
hello, bitter reality — I will take care of you as I commit to myself 🙏🏼💕
how much hurting the sarcasm, euphemism and talking numbers people intentionally sent to me, it will just hurt themselves 🙏🏼💕
I won’t send blessings anymore as blessings are free for them to earn by themselves 🙏🏼💕
It hurts when released.
In heart.
It hurts when kept.
In all.
And so I released.
All.
——-
I sent blessings and prayers to those passing away not known by their family — whoever and wherever you are all, I am one of those remember you as a family member 💕 May all beings be happy
I believe they are released from any unhappiness
🙏🏼
It’s
You
I
Love
Most
——
two things I love the most about Japan: lining-up footwear and toilet! 😍 aahhh and you…. 😃
If not because of
Love,
This soul won’t soar,
This heart won’t throb,
This head won’t radiate,
These palms won’t trust sensations.
If because of
Love all are alive,
And so
I fall in
Love
Every single
Day
With
You.
The same
You
Over and over
Again.
——
falling in love is everyday whole year like butternut squash 💕
picture: RC Gorman’s work of art
Pearls sliding down
The slope of this face
End in a clear lake
Reflecting a tiny shadow
Of my singing heart
About this journey
About the weak
About the unprotected
About the underprivileged
About those
Who are turned to a line of batteries
To charge a machine
Called
Greed.
Wet my cheeks,
Flood my heart,
Keep me clear
So I can see what is.
——
choosing to spread smiles and to silently recite unchained melody of peace and love to those 💕 the least I can do
my praying heart goes to those civilians especially those underprivileged, weak, unprotected, betrayed anywhere they are on Mother Earth
May all beings be happy. Free from suffering.
🙏🏼
(picture from Pinterest)
The tree sows thousands of seeds
That fly to all directions
And never return
Until the wind stands up
And calls.
Which seeds come back?
Any
That hear a mother
Beautifully sings with love
Humbly whispers with peace
About home
Full of
Love.
——
this is how much beautifully humble my mother is — with that she has been highly respected by those surrounding her; I won’t be as respected as she is yet I want to at least preserve some part of her humbleness 💚
Everything is centred.
My mother.
Everything is meaningful.
My mother.
Everything is wisdom.
My mother.
——
she was meeting her doctor for medical review on her birthday today — she said her health and children are the best gift forever 💕
Ibu and me in Jabal Rahmah (Mount of Love), 2016 — wishing our love spread to everyone around us
a tumpeng by me for my mother, sent via WhatsApp 🙂
There’s a seed
Called self
Needing love
And care
And consistency
To grow,
To glow,
To everlastingly flow.
——
started fermented rice water to treat my long hair — this one is black rice + rose tea + lime
shampoo bar and conditioner bar made of longsheng rice that is used by the Red Yao women for their beautiful long hair — after using these bought bars, I plan to make my own shampoo bar from Indonesia rice and conditioner liquid from boiled flaxseed water
💕
all in the name of self care because no one cares about myself but me
💚
Mirror,
Mirror
On the wall!
Show me clearly
Afterall
What’s been
Lingering
In this fall.
Whether massive darkness
Or just shadow
That crawls.
——
only selfie when feeling good and truly willing to see what’s reflected by the mirror
Fragrance of sambac
Ferries the wish to the love
Reborn with new scents.
——
The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.
I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so — remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. 🥰 We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.
Yet….
reborn
not interested in talking in group except for work;
prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;
choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;
respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesn’t matter
still the same human being yet not the same anymore;
so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrue…. 💚
Life is mysteriously beautiful.
Thank You so very much!
Alfatihah.
my younger brother’s 1st son was a newborn death; my older brother’s sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 — wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck 💕😊 you’re (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! 💕💕😊
rike jokanan 
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