How beautiful he is
Like a butterfly
Flying on a daisy
To another so lightly.
A daisy she is
Just one of the visited
Then forgotten
Like her own petals
Falling one by one.
Age, Beloved
Counts.
Beauty Admired
Tag: free verse
Those In
How can they be
Part of me?
Emerging
Merging
Like a history.
Who am I? Or who am I supposed to be?
Are those in possibly?
Or none?
Let it be.
Semar
his wisdom & simplicity — my #1 wayang kulit
Anggraeni
my #1 female wayang, a nobody in the wayang box, a loyal wife to a loyal husband — a humble abode for a humble soul
Anoman
he is a symbol of sheer devotion & vitality — what’s more do you want in life?
Larasati
an intelligent woman married to a superior man — still she is willing to be a humble background although she is allegedly much more skilful than her well-known husband, Arjuna
Sri Kresna
I used to misunderstand about his super wised-up character until finding him a mastermind of the biggest battle of a family — The Bharatayudha
no more Sri Kresna as my super wayang
Arjuna
I used to think a perfect man is like him until finding myself someone who asks too many questions; no perfect man –if like him– can handle me
I let go off him long time ago
😎
Limbuk
I thought I was one princess in the wayang box but I am ok to be her — someone who is willing to be as humble as herself, fun as herself, relaxed as herself, witty as herself, confident as herself, flirtatious as herself, devoted as herself, mature yet childlike as herself, happy-go-lucky as herself
just like herself in herself wherever she is put to be
Bima
my father’s favourite
Seigaiha
Missing the calmness that sings.
Missing the peace that dances.
Missing the cheer than paints.
Missing the stillness that recites.
Missing all that lives caressing this hair
With the breeze of love
Of love
Of love.
Life is just like that.
Just like
You--
Seigaiha
Diluted by You
Have you heard of
Dilution?
It's when this step toward you becomes lighter & calmer
By the liquefied fear
Through any pressure that comes,
With the dream that vanishes
And hope that makes sense
Because of
You, and
You alone
Waving to me saying
"You've been missed for so long.
Waited like rain in a drought.
Whose name is whispered in silence,
Whose beauty is contained in simplicity,
Whose existence is there is yet there is not.
You're a basket of love,
I've longed for within and without."
is it the clover or the basket that matters? they dilute each other with their existence, or do they blend their beauty? whichever, it’s all simply about you making my journey more meaningful
Love is Me
A young girl, I thought love is coming to me
Then I found that they are flying off of me. Emitting--
From my sweater,
My hair,
My skin,
My flesh,
My bone,
My heart,
My soul.
I'm breathing it.
Living it:
I'll never run out of
Love.
💕
What I Don’t Want
What I don't want is associating myself with anyone but myself, a human being in the making
Then marching lines with sprinkling comma,
Before one summarising period
One day.
Thank You, All Doors
Thank you, all doors
That open or not
For showing me many ways
Whether or not to take
Are for whom
You declare the choice.
thank you, wise words for touching my age with laughter, smile, grin & tears
☺️
You Go, You May
If they walk away,
Just walk away.
It means no means today.
As love is here
No matter what,
Footsteps won't give no way.
I'm content.
I'm happy.
After the last drip of what's in store is gray,
Whether it's coffee
Or Japan's May.
why doubtful?
leaving what’s not wanted in a mug after the coffee drip is done is what it should be ☺️
why looking back, dear coffee drinker
the air is welcoming you
go like a galloping horse
go like a slithering snake
go like the last drop of coffee in a mug
you’ve met the way
with or without your coffee machine, my heart is blooming everyday 🥰
🌻
Mega Mendung (batik)
Mega Mendung,
Life is loaded with quizzes
Yet it's also beautifully adorned with gifts and bliss
Only if
You are willing to walk around
The circle
And see.
Meet me at the curve where
Life twists
Your plot.
Only if
You believe.
these batik sheets were sent to me when I was on holiday in Yogyakarta – batik Mega Mendung
Mega Mendung is a batik pattern originated from a town named Cirebon.
…. speechless to tell more as it reminds me of how life twists the plot and make words vanish one by one to the air. Only beauty in silence….
I’ll talk about batik mega mendung more thoroughly next round when my mega mendung dress is done.
this is pretty, for next round 😘
Fun To Watch
It's fun to watch
Someone who misunderstands
And walks to nowhere to be found.
Congrats!
You think it's my lust,
But it's a trust
That loving
You, just
You, not you
Is just.
panas, panas, panas….!
🥰
Garden in This Heart
I'm water whose splash
Cleans wounds in my own heart.
I'm fire whose spark
Burns wounds to immediately heal.
I'm wind whose blow
Dries wounds to end the pain.
Dear, Beloved.
Let me meet a true heart who as well has become water, fire, and wind to one's own self.
Dear, Beloved.
Let us walk and sprint together in all trails and at the finish line meeting
You.
Dear, Beloved.
This heart is a garden where nature starts a cycle to end, ready to welcome the next cycle.
This year.
leafy ring 💎
Sunset That Burns
It burns what has been packed
And ready to depart
From where a line between boundaries are drawn.
It burns with love.
It burns with life.
It burns forever,
An eternal flame.
it’s the 40th day of my mother’s passing today and we commemorate it through a Javanese traditional ceremony, assimilated with some Islamic tradition
one of the menu in the ceremony basket is “kacang cenggereng” (fried peanuts) which is not only a snack but also a symbol
it’s a symbol of respect to the one passing and hope that the passing is safely welcomed in the next life
yellow is a very suitable colour for my mother’s crossing day as it symbolises happiness
may she be happy to meet her Beloved
terima kasih, Ibu, please send my warm regard to my father
💛
yellow, Ibu 😁💛
Not Sung
Our language is language of the heart.
When it's not heard, it means
The thread is cut,
The line is off,
The connection is cut,
The songs are not sung
Anymore.
Thank you for this one year.
today’s conversation in the pantry is about rejection: without telling to whom & by whom, just possibility told tales by diners that met for just 30 minutes:
personal business project that’s not approved
library planned visit that’s postponed
afternoon tea invitation in Shangrilla that’s rejected
love that’s unrequited
story that’s not continued
all are one U-turn forced by life to meet the right direction
💕
Terima Kasih
Kata orang aku sedih,
Bukan sedih.
Aku hanya rindu
Padamu
Ibu,
Yang padamu rasa terima kasihku tak lekang oleh waktu,
Yang padamu rasa cintaku tak pernah layu oleh masa,
Yang padamu rasa rinduku tak pernah kering oleh panas,
Yang padamu rasa ikhlasku makin padat sebelum menjadi ledakan saat kita bersatu.
Terima kasih, Ibu.
what I can remember about you, Ibu 🥰❣️
maybe this is what you’re doing now, Ibu 😁❣️
Balance Is
What is balance?
When I can walk on a line nicely with little slipping,
When I can wipe my tears soon then smile again,
When I know that there is one that keeps me still within although I look so rocked and shaken without,
When I can still express my feelings between what's called good and bad, right or wrong, while actually all is good and all is right--
Balance is
Knowing that I can wish whatever I want
Knowing that the net is always
You.
balancing in any situation is what life is about
☘️
Love Isn’t Faraway
I feel so languid,
Between losing and letting go.
Memories are swarming,
Reminding that life is short
And farewell is just an inch away.
What's grey has turned to lively colours that stay.
What's dark has rekindled what's dead and now alive.
Love is never faraway,
It is for a while hiding
To show up when hope is fading away.
There's nothing I hear
But heartbeats singing love song
From afar, moving closer and closer.
Love is never faraway,
It's just hiding to find a way
To disclose what's true in
Expression and will always stay.
my last wefie with her, physically faraway but her love always stays
Forgotten
Love can live in a song,
But what can love do when a song is
Forgotten?
None but an old book,
Dusty and unread--
Life is just like that.
it’s ok to be forgotten as life is just like that
love never lives in a vacuum chamber; it grows with bias of lovers who mightn’t have known deeper layers of love that can only be clearly understood with the understanding of one’s self, never with anything else
silently I’ve paid attention to someone and how one acts in public
the last song has been forgotten so it’s time for me to truly withdraw – no I don’t want to get hurt by someone that I hope not hurting me (but doing it on and on maybe without one’s knowledge of hurting me)
it’s my last day of bereavement leave of my dear mother’s passing and I want to spend it with full relaxation, watching whatever within my reach for the next one hour, then read books on and off the whole day inserted with writing what’s popped out in mind & talking to families members who are still staying until end of this week in my mother’s home
I just want to rest….
A Muse Who Herds Dragons
Beloved,
I don't have clear words
To decribe myself
Yet words insist to come out,
Sliding down from a lane connecting heaven and earth--
Dragon
A mythical being
Depicted in a lot of traditions all over the globe
That soars, roams, fights with a muse who lives in a realm
Called a self.
A self who is one of nine
Whichever one inspiring any her
To rule her own world
With love and compassion,
Nothing more
Nothing less.
She bears the emblem of dragons,
Plays fun with them,
Talks and plans,
Dreams and fantasizes,
Works the hardship,
Keeps secret & evaporate it,
Learns and teaches,
Fights and flies,
Stays and calms,
Grows old and stays young--
All with dragons.
Perhaps no one knows
But she knows
That the dragons might not be
someone else,
Just a being she thinks something else,
Yet in fact none in her life
Is separated--
Dear, Dragons
Be
Beloved or
Lover for her
Whichever is tasked to
You.
born with a dragon waking up at the same time
fun time with dragon most of the time
sending good messages to the universe with the dragon
sharing most secrets to dragon
welcoming sunset with dragon
struggling in battles with dragon
learning precious lessons with dragon
receiving deciphered enigmas from dragon
never growing old before dragon
physically growing old with dragon
taming dragon is her soul
a muse who rekindles dragon in her soul over and over again
Ibu
Aku sayang Ibu.
our last video call
the last time I saw you was just yesterday when I had a video call with Yogi & Ocka – you smiled sweetly ☺️☘️💕❣️
terima kasih, Ibu…. 😘☘️❣️
A Hope of Elden Soldiers
A hope that vanishes
With the forgotten true stories
Of the unsung heroes,
Those not buried with engraved tombstone
Dear, Elden Heroes
Who are taking a break from battles.
Wish us a basket of flower
Full of prayer summoning
The only thing left with Mother Earth:
Love that glows in the heart.
Wish us her love
That fades all selfishness away
Swiftly
Like the colours dissolve from a white fabric.
No trace of arrogance.
No trace of greed.
Only love.
Only care.
By everyone,
For everyone
Including
The Elden Soldiers--
A poem for a piece of Mother Earth’s true love called Indonesia on her 80th birthday–
Thank you. You’re staying in this very heart that weeps for getting hurt over and over again yet keeping the trust in a journey called life.
💕
your promise to liberate your offspring’s life from all that occupy them was well done
would you say that what your offspring is doing to celebrate the victory is truly what you wished to be
dear, Elden Soldiers who have been either well-known or unsung….
There’s A Blocker
There's a basket of blockers
Called assumption
Built about me and you.
That everyone wants to be famous;
Forgetting that in different occasion he says all is love.
There's a basket of blockers
Called assumption
Built about me and you.
That you are untouchable by my love;
Denying that in different occasion she is in love.
There's a basket of blockers
Called assumption
Built about me and you.
That you belong to them and not me;
Claiming that certain human beings don't deserve the others.
dear Life, please give me what you call true love, not what is seen true love;
& life as light as feathers that can fly a bird,
life as deep as an underground chamber that keeps all secrets,
love that is free from any blockers except you between me and you
💕
Have You?
I've asked myself all my life:
Have you ever thought what this life is for?
You're born. You die.
You struggle. You cry.
You suffer. You rant.
You're full. You sleep.
You're fulfilled. You forget.
You're numb. You're silent.
If it's really
You that this life is about,
Am I really needed?
Am I really wanted?
Yet the echoes of the quest go on.
Your answers feel like algae converting light to feed my days with
Hope that you embrace me, with
Fear that it will end when I still owe you promises.
I can't answer it clearly until today.
It becomes like a love story
In which falling in love is either inserted with broken-hearted acceptance or ended with broken hearted let-go.
That I live for
You, because of
You, in
You, through
You is a journey between a lover longing for the beloved who might care but care; who might love but hate, who might exist but not exist.
Have you ever thought what this life is for? I said yes and yes and yes to
You, and for
You.
Guidance
Amouge, Guidance – it’s about you guiding me to you
bought it when in Sydney
slided the box out of the outer cover
one of my best gift to myself – a scent that guides
Heart
My heart is a garden
Where flowers are nodding to butterflies and ladybugs
That need a ride to play.
My heart is a pond
Where lilies spread their pads to dragonflies and frog
That stop to meditate.
My heart is a cave
Where treasures are hidden from
eyes and ears
That crave for secrets.
My heart is an ocean
Where space is containing depth and width
That hug the abyss.
My heart is a home
Where songs are waiting for rhythms and rhymes
That long for a voice.
dear heart, be fragrant even when it’s around bad odor ♥️
Karma
My biggest karma is not my family & closest friends.
It is being me in this very life,
With choices to make
And decisions to take.
Thank
You,
Life.
I’m the sunflowers that follow the sun, that will only stop moving when it sets.
The Sun
What if the sun never rises again?
I might also lose my sunflowers.
The yellow in my life fades away,
With the calming breathing at the end.
At least I love, Beloved,
At least I've loved
You so much.
I’m Saved, Are You?
There are ways
For those hiding
To stay hidden.
There are ways
For those running
To keep running.
There are ways
For those struggling
To forever struggle.
They say they do it
For those they love.
They claim they do it
For those they care.
They pledged they do it
For those they respect.
Is it true?
Words can lie.
Numbers can manipulate.
Silence can cover.
Yet eyes can't bury
What's sliding with tears
On the face of reality.
Don't lie to me
Honesty saves everyone's time.
I have no time
To have fun
If fun is your way to hide
Your true face from me.
Save yourself
By letting go
Off the masks
That you wear even when alone.
Let it fall off
And I will stride away
With a lot of pray.
Satellite
Will it be possible to not long for you? I'm a satellite following you with measured distance, a constant give-and-take or push-and-pull.
Am I a moon to you the earth? Are you the earth to me the sun? Am I the sun to you the centre of the galaxy? Are you the galaxy to me the black hole? Or are you the moon to me the earth? Am I the earth to you the sun? Are you the sun to me the galaxy? Am I the galaxy to you the black hole? So and so.... We are revolving each other through layers or orbits just to find one self.
How beautiful how we position to each other truly is! Traveling together in a journey that we both silently know, religiously follow. It's the you that's me, it's the you that's you.
Father
May 2 is a special day. It is Indonesia’s National Education Day at the same time the date when my father passed away.
I pray for him always. Yet on his birthday and on his death day I recite special prayer for him.
My father
Is a book mark
With which I remember
Where I should restart.
He is not part of the book,
But with him reading would feel so light.
It’s All Yours
At times it's hard to deal with what's factual
Yet I talk to the face in the mirror:
Aren't all these present by your previous decisions?
Or do you regret of taking what considered best by then?
Nothing is in vain.
There's always a trail I can trace back: choices and decisions I made.
What lesson?
Now don't regret. Tomorrow don't repeat the same mistakes. Yesterday is always valuable lesson. Never (again) blame others.
Is that what's truly it? Maybe just for me, not for everyone.
Silence
I admire
You
Beyond words.
When you demand more,
I use thick dictionaries and thesaurus across the universe to praise
You.
The silence is more eloquently accurate than any word can say.
rike jokanan 
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