I can see beauty
Through silhouette in the dark
With thin shed of light.
—
Dark
Tag: grateful
Bright
Light brings bright to rose.
Light brings image to her eyes.
Bright in and bright out--
—
The Fool
Stepping in
To the wood
Under the sun,
The moon,
The stars,
Swarmed by the wild;
Ahead she prances
Along a composition
Orchestrated by the air.
—
be a fool in the ocean of falsehood
realizing that being a fool is an enjoyable journey in life to earn meanings without burden
A Cup of Tea
When clock slows down its intensity,
Bring me a cup of tea
With which imagination
Grows wild silently
And another cup
With which the Twin Towers
Are swallowed by dark night.
This cup of tea
Has freed me.
—
one more won’t harm me ❣️
Sense! Sense Beyond. (ranting)
(regularly updated for accuracy)
The way we see beauty shows how we perceive life in general. There’s no rigid standard of beauty. Each person votes beauty based on the culture nurturing him/her. The culture formulate beauty through space and time and unsensed dimensions with which it evolves and grows through the history of humankind.
To a female best friend a beautiful man can only be postulated through a man named Nicholas Saputra. To another a beautiful man is Keanu Reeves–this one I agree 😎. To another Jeremy Renner. To me a beautiful man can be as acceptable as a humble man is kind-hearted, responsible and healthy.
To a male best friend a handsome woman can only be described through a slim lady with flawless porceline skin and red lips like those modified ones from Korea. To another one a handsome woman is a Sandra Bullock. To another one is Rihanna. To else she can be anyone who is willing to accept their men the way they are.
In China, Africa, Europe, Java, Pacific definitions of beauty can be poles apart. Big eyes, round eyes, almond shaped, slanted…. Full lips, thin, thick, wide, heart-shaped…. XS clothing size, S, M, L, XL, XXL, plus size…. Straight hair, wavy, curly…. Etc, etc, etc…. Those physical descriptions identifying human body are blessings to some, curse for others; depending on how the bearers perceive beauty.
Ladies, you are all beautiful the way you are when your heart blooms genuinely. That’s what I always tell my nieces. And to my nephews I always say you are handsome and becomes super handsome with kind heart. Physical beauty will only be an empty box wrapped in fancy paper, no gift inside, no meaning but a space of living. Well-taken-care-of plain beauty with kind heart is a box of surprising precious gift well wrapped in clean paper.
Which one should we want? Any! No right or wrong. Yet to me –an-almost-half-century-lady– kind heart in a plain beauty is so much appreciated!!! Nothing compares to good heart in humble beauty.
😊
To dear nieces and nephews:
I love you. Be the light to your own darkness with healthy body and good heart.
Your senses are not only to catch what’s physical. Sense beyond! Beauty truly lies in a hidden heart.
❣️
this might be the only Coldplay’s song that I can listen to the whole day non-stop except low-batt ♥️ a biutyful alien I am!
💕
Dear, You
Dear
Young heart,
Fly to the moon and back
To the green meadow, humming.
Dear
Old body,
Bury me where banyan seeds sprout
Reaching out to sky, breathing.
Dear
Ancient soul,
Free me from any shape
So I can be alive anywhere you sow me.
—
I went to a small civilized** farewell party for a friend in KL, Malaysia, taking selfie before crazily singing in Red Box karaoke.
Life is short, be kind….
Or….. Just take a selfie.
❣️
Salam.
** civilized to me means NO FREE SEX, NO DRUGS, NO ALCOHOL ♥️
just take selfie when you’re feeling good
take selfie when you’re not in the mood
take selfie although people think it’s weird yet you’re nartistically free and freely glee
Luck
Anger, Beloved
Swirling stream drawning what flow,
Demolishing luck--
—
Anger can bring unluck, now I believe that.
I was furious because some people made unnecessary mistakes. Although mistake is mistake that can be fixed but covering up is another level of mistake making a mistake not just a mistake. I can never accept when people are not well treated, not well protected, ignored, disrespected.
anger is maelstrom
I still could not get rid of the patches of anger even after some hours. No sleep cured it. No food did. No nothing. I felt my body tremble whenever thinking of how those mistakes were made and so on and so forth.
This very morning I realised that my anger didn’t bring good things. It brought me heat in head, unclear thought and unlucky events. And the unlucky events were the worst as I’ve always been feeling lucky in my life.
Look what happened to me….
I queued behind a lady who failed scanning her fingerprints and facial recognition in the immigration autogate that made the waiting too long for such a sophisticated system. My Malaysia Digital Arrival Card submission failed 4 times today. My passport identification page got folded. My automatic bagagge check-in failed, with a bonus of bitter sour unfriendly female airline assistant treating my passport like a trash.
Please forgive me, dear self. Those mistakes do not belong to you and you are not responsible to bear any cost; they are those people’s, let them deal with any consequences possible.
I feel lucky.
Feel lucky.
Lucky!
Why
None ever knows why,
All happen through unknown plan
Swarming around light
Celebrating unknown-ness
Night after night with no end.
—
kind of amazed that Daniel Goleman is into meditation 🤯
Souvenirs
I bring souvenirs
Wrapped in a pouch made with love
For you who's waited.
This pouch might be forgotten,
The fragrance's always missed.
—
a batik pouch to wrap an oleh-oleh for a friend — all is handmade by me, done in about 4 hours; no sewing machine, only a pair of sciccors, a ruler, thread and needle
tell me what makes us meditate better than doing things with love
the body part is cut from printed batik “Truntum”
the round base is cut from printed batik “Wahyu Tumurun” using a stainless-steel bowl as the pattern
the waste including some Hansaplast to close some small cut on my finger
About oleh-oleh
Traded Wisdom
You sell some wisdom
That unwraps with mere breathing
Dimensions and faith.
—
6 sheets of handmade batik are currently flying to my home; they are wisdom scribed on white cotton by some humble Javanese women who are willingly dedicating life as tradition protectors
matur nuwun 💕
Much Ado
There’s much ado
About what’s not done.
Shakespeare said that’s nothing.
There’s much ado
About what’s promised.
I said that’s nothing.
—
4th day of Ramadhan 💗 nothing but so much smile at my own cookings
Scattered
I'm foraging beauty
On my way to work,
To shop,
To travel,
To eat out;
And
On my way to kitchen,
To balcony,
To a room,
To the loo.
Beauty is just scattered by
You.
—
white, yellow, fragrant, pretty, soon to dry then to produce seed for another orchid to bloom 💕
blooming time for the pigeon orchids along the Yio Chu Kang Road next to my office – this appearance can be seen in almost all of the big trees around this road
Hidden
All cracks in the stone
Show what is glowing inside.
Light in the darkness—
—
2nd day of Ramadhan – craving another one that is not shown through a photo 😁
Full
How full are you, Love?
Leave a space where air can move
And water can flow.
—
It is Ramadhan 1, I started my 30-day fasting.
Fasting is not a new or foreign to my family. My parents consider it a sacred practice in their life. My oldest sister does fast every two days. Intermitten fasting is never a new thing for us. We are Javanese, we fast both as a spiritual sanctuary and mental exercise.
When we talk about fasting in Javanese tradition, it is not always like the Islamic fasting (not eating, not drinking, not smoking, not having sex on the daylight). Fasting or pasa or poso in Javanese is managing what is in and out through all doors of senses in our body. It can be simply by choosing what to eat, when to eat, how to eat.
In old days Javanese did many different types of fasting and so they name those types of fasting differently.
Mutih (derived from the word putih or white in Javanese) is when they only eat rice and drink water. They won’t be consuming anything with tastes: sweet, salty, sour, bitter, gurih, etc.
Ngidang (derived from the word kidang or deer in Javanese) is when they only consume leafy vegetables and water, and no other things.
Ngrowot (derived from the word krowot that means “no rice” in Javanese) in when they will not consume rice and any product of any kind of rice).
Etc….
For this Ramadhan I decided to do ngrowot. It means I will not consume any rice and any product of rice crom dawn to dusk, from day 1 until end of Ramadhan. I want to know how good I am pushing myself through “hunger”.
Bismillah!
Yes, I can.
💕
my first day of “Ramadhan Ngrowot” breakfast
😁
Endured
There is pain
And patience
In endurance,
A chemical compound
That swims in blue skies,
Gets sprinkled down to a pool
Where Superman
Is endured.
—
i met Sam who swam for 20 laps of 50-meter long pool today – she swam without stopping at all, while i stopped in the middle just because a leaf poked my goggles
Sam was 65 and she said she also started like me (not consistently moving, she even said she preferred the small pool of 25-meter long near my block) – sixtyfiiivvveee!!!
she said she pushed herself past several years before finally enjoying the 50-meter long lap with no stop back and forth for one hour
see you in two days, Sam! thanks for inspiring me with your humbleness and endurance 💕
The Extremes
What makes you pretty
Is the smile
That is pulled
From two extremes,
Left and right.
The extremes make you pretty.
Oh, Dear!
You're extremely pretty.
—
extremely pretty 💕
Own n Owe
I don't own this body
I don't own this heart
I don't own this soul
I don't own this life
I owe
You.
Yet do
You know that
You owe me, too?
All these limited experiences that imprison
You belong to me.
All in all
I belong to
You.
—
some part of me is a monk, some part is a bitch and that fact makes me perfect of being a human
💕
(picture from Pinterest)
Care
Care comes from nowhere
Free of charge in a white bag
Called good heart.
—
coming home from office today, i found a white bag from no name — without opening it i knew it was sukun (breadfruit) from Aunty Goh, the kind lady
thank you❣️
With all the limitation some people are still willing to share. This touches my very heart.
Ramadhan (Islamic fasting month) is coming soon. Although sharing is not necessarily done only in Ramadhan, yet doing it in a month when I subdue more physical desire will expose myself to more meanings of life– hopefully. Sharing starts with Aunty Goh and the gang!
Please allow me, dear Aunty Goj to cook a simple dish for you this week.
Salaam.
❣️
Breathing
Living is breathing.
A quest of in and out air
To define meaning
—
breathing day for some of my beautiful batik, the Javanese exhibition of wisdom
One of treatments to handmade batik is letting them breath or in Javanese language we call it “angin-angin” that is literally “wind-wind” — hanging batik clothes in fresh air, not directly under the sun to let them be in contact with air to decrease the humidity.
Enjoy your breathing.
❣️
Balanced Kites
I am soaring
Like a kite
Finding its balance
Through moving air.
This kite is a rhombus
Proven mathematically,
Tested naturally,
Crafted beautifully.
You are flying
Like a kite
Decorating the sky
With rich hues.
That kite is a bird
Coloured green and white,
Singing sweet and mild,
Shining keen and bright.
—
batik sido luhur, pethak
Sido Luhur is one of classic series of “batik sido” i.e.: Sido Luhur, Sido Asih, Sido Mukti, Sido Mulyo and Sido Drajat.
Batik Sido Luhur pattern is the closest to the Sido Mukti one.
This pattern was composed by Ki Ageng Henis, the grandfather of Mataram Kingdom founder, Panembahan Senopati.
Batik Sido Luhur is composed of adjacent rhombus with various ornaments in each of the rhombus such as building, temple, butterfly, bird, lar gurdho (one wing of Javanese eagle), flowers and shells.
Batik Sido Luhur can be dyed with white (pethak) black (cemeng) or orangy brown (sogan) as background.
Sido Luhur is literally comprising 2 Javanese words: the word sido that means to be or to become, and luhur that means noble, honor and dignity.
As a norm in Javanese tradition: what you wear (especially in important occasion or function) is an exhibition of wish and pray. Batik Sido Luhur is meant as a wish and pray for those wearing it to be granted honourable heart and good role model for others around.
Batik Sido Luhur batik is often put on the bride in the night of midodareni (one night before wedding ceremony) also as a form of prayer and a hope that she be healthy and become a wife of honor and dignity.
Batik Sido Luhur is also put on the mother-to-be during tingkeban or mitoni ceremony (traditional ceremony when a mother-to-be enters the 7th month of pregnancy).
I just got a pair of Sido Luhur in white and am willing to own one pair in black and one pair in sogan.
I just got a thought of seriously becoming a batik curator. What a sweet dream!
💕
Diagonally
Many shorter distances
To reach a destination,
Diagonally.
Yet I take one of further ways
And so I see
That the longest journey
Is adorned with
The rich jungles,
The clean lakes,
The wide deserts,
The deep seas
Under windy light rain
To reach home
Whose door looking out
To a beautiful scenery.
—
batik sogan udan liris kupu by Ibu Tien Wartinah
Udan Liris (udan = rain, liris = light; udan liris = light rain or drizzle; Javanese) is a diagonal pattern of traditional Javanese batik. It resembles the light rain that comes down diagonally by the wind.
Kupu is butterfly in Javanese. It symbolises transformation– potential to realization.
Super Life
Super life, dear love
Celebrating all senses,
Diving to the deep--
—
gulai jantung pisang & tempe
in process
jantung pisang 💕 the potential of super life, banana tree — banana tree will naturally die after it gives fruit!
Utang Rasa (Owing The Feel)
This is a powerful song that always hits me at the core when I am complaining about what is not up to my expectation in life.
matur nuwun, Mbah Tejo for this powerful reminder about life
The poetic composition with “urip” (life in Javanese) and the “utang rasa” (owing the feel) reminds me that life is about crediting the feels we debit from others.
Life is about experiencing the feels whether it is giving, borrowing, owing or paying. What feels do we want to give? What feels do we want to borrow? What feels are we willing to owe? What feels do we need to pay for balance? Up to us.
When someone passes away, s/he will be remembered of what feels s/he has left in life whether what’s credited or debited.
Sometimes I talk to myself: what feel do you want to pay that you are so bitter to life?
Dear, Self. I am sorry. I’ve owed you so much negativity that I have nothing to pay but positivity.
One thing: I don’t want to have zero as zero will put flat tone in my humanity. I want to have more saved than deducted. Yet…. I cannot 100% be sure.
Salaam….
💕
Lupis (Javanese Glutinous Rice Cake)
Javanese is rich of philosophy in its daily life. Even food is full of it. Lupis is one of those.
Lupis is a cake of goutinous rice. Its stickiness symbolizes close relationship. Its shape which is triangle represents love triangle among God-Messenger-Human, Divine-Human-Nature, me-you-others.
What a nice cake to enjoy! Physically, emotionally and spiritually!
💕
—
bon appetit 💕
21 pieces of cake!
bigger pot was needed to contain more water so all could fully drawn in the water
i ground the pandan leaves to get both colour and fragrance
i am proud of myself 😁 to be able to fold the lupis the way it should have been done
some of the ingredient (glutinous rice that was soaked for 30′, banana leaves to wrap, toothpick to lock the wrapping, pandan water to boil, (not here were the palm sugar, tapioca starch and a bit of salt)
The Star
I'm a star
Dying.
I'm the star
Most brightly glaring.
—
supernova
Scientists We Are
Silently we are smart,
Formulating,
Concocting,
Predicting,
Denying at the same time.
Scientists we are.
—
if the ¥1 floats on the water (not in the air as captioned), our wish come true 😀
it is not magic yet it is fun to bet on what to happen scientifically against what good thing to expect to happen if the science is successful
my friend will go to Osaka and i wish that i can ask that friend to pray for me by floating one coin 😀
Ceiling Called Horizon
Ceiling of love
Can be as high as
Unlimited sky.
It climbs the realm of thought,
Enjoying breeze under the wings
Before settling itself somewhere
Called horizon.
—
restaurant ceiling made of dried rice leaves – they rustle in the wind, telling me that time can seem to stop yet never really does as it expands like horizon
Choice of War
What war do you prefer?
War where I win against
My own self
To be
With
You.
—
this batik-in-process is about the epic Bharatayudha, the war between Pandawa and Kurawa
my beloved batik maestro “Ibu Tien Wartinah” is committed to complete it this year
Mbak Izzah (Ibu Tien’s daughter in law who is also a batik maker) and me with the “Gringsing Bharatayudha”
gringsing is a type of batik, one of my favourite
About Bharatayudha
About grinsing
Failed Jokes
Life is full of laughter.
It adorns the end of a joke.
It entertains when people are sad.
It teases when things go derailed.
Laughter indeed
Is not always to laugh at some jokes.
When your joke is a failure,
Laugh, Beloved
Wholeheartedly.
—
my favourite passion fruit seeds as part of my lunch; i uploaded it as an instastory and one nephew believed it was “frog egg” as i captioned 😂 my jokes were not always successful 😎
In Between
In between breathing
There's a space to insert time
That means forever.
—
nikujaga is a favourite for guests visiting me but they consider it snack in between meals as it is too sweet for them to enjoy with rice; for me it is good to cook: simple and fast
today’s lunch and dinner 😍 the meat isn’t the best as the slicing is too thick — it’s still ok
rike jokanan 
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