Hidden gem, my love Glows in this heart telling tales About hidden love That might never find her nest. The voiceless gets more silent.
Today my friend brought me around Jogja. The most interesting part was of course Pasar Beringharjo (Beringharjo Market) in which whatever souvenirs from Jogja are completely displayed. The most I love about this market is “ibu-ibu gendhong”, the women who sell their service to carry the people’s (both traders and shoppers) stuff from one point to another. My friend works in the NGO that advocate them to get better access to better rights as informal workers. The women (we call them buruh gendhong: female porters) know my friend very well so I always get the chance to say hi to them every time I visit some markets in Jogja & be given directions which best traders I can go to get the best products.
Today they showed me a hidden gem, a small corner where old-aged batik sheets and tradion Javanese kebaya are traded. What a blessed day today was!
How should I have felt except thankful? It was a good bargain– just with less than SGD50 I got a package of pretty apparels that I will wear to attend Christmas party in my cousin’s home.
kebaya, old batik sheet & an obi belt of Sido Asih batik
Thank you!
My cold heart got warm with the shopping spree and meeting the female porters who are the true representative of humble life itself.
God bless you, Ibu-Ibu & Mbah-Mbah Buruh Gendong. 💕
Dwellers, Beloved We are in this space, searching What's known yet unknown; Or, what's unknown in fact known By a searcher who's been searched.
love is in the center of my searching in which I’ve been dwelling in this space with the sun, the moon and the stars
I’ve been searching myself who’s sitting patiently, radiantly knowing that I am longed for by the lover
thank you for the love that you’ve given to me through all those around me: human beings, non humane things and those unseen but sensed, and those unseen and not sensed
Your heart, Beloved, Is yours. We though share one soul Bonding us for good. I send love to your heart while The soul hugs us forever.
everything looks beautiful when seen with love
this is one of 6 stems of orchids celebrating life before they dry out some time later, reminding me to keep sharing love and compassion until my existence changes dimension
I love who I love Through the existence of yours. I am to comply. There's only one rule applied: Wholeheartedly or forced, done.
title of my tanka is inspired by none but part of Coldplay’s Jupiter
That planet never stops inspiring me. Thanks, Jupe.
there is one verse in the Quran that i could finally accepted when i reached 40:
arra’d #15 “and to God prostrates whoever is within the heavens and the earth, willingly or by compulsion, and their shadows in the mornings and the afternoons”
even when at the beginning i felt forced to accept what was, i finally found that i was saved through being forced while i was struggling declining what was
it’s like swimming in a river flowing sometimes so calm making journey so enjoyable, sometimes forcing and surging making it hard to believe;
Weather, Beloved Changes with the wind and sun. Different from my heart: Stubbornly dances for you Even when the rain falls hard.
rain stopped when i reached home (with my keys) but the cold was wrapping my wet body — after some light shower, i decided to cook my favourite oxtail soup (lucky i boiled the oxtail this morning – i am blessed with every luck)
who said blessings don’t come when someone is under the weather? the weather waves white towel to this person just because of a bowl of oxtail soup, a bowl of pomelo and plums and a bowlof yoghurt
trust the gut and even bad weather will turn to a sweet evening
Pleased and guilty, love Intertwine with her black hair, Making some balance. They will fall and get flushed out When the root is weak or dried.
today’s dinner after work (from remote on Monday)
i started cooking almost all my meal in early 2020 when working from remote was applied due to the pandemic; since then i only eat out with colleagues, friends or visiting families or when i myself want to eat Japanese food (good Japanese food needs refined ingredients and high skill that can only happen in a pro place) — no one can cook my Indonesian food better than me😀
i also started doing all household chores that were before done by a paid assistant
since then i don’t want to give up doing it, even if i have to stay up late i will do all by myself for self satisfaction — so pleased to be moving around at home
just yesterday my regular assistant finally requested to go back to take my weekly chores like before (since pandemic i only call her in emergency situation) — i could not say yes or no as it is not about money anymore although it is not a big expense to do (my mother will complain and say it is an act of ignorance — i’m sorry, Ibu 😘)
i’m still feeling guilty since i finally said no this morning, i told her that i might call her just for occasional need and include her in my meal list when i have something special in my kitchen 😘
i feel that giving up household chores is like giving up some part of my moving meditation
cooking, cleaning, gardening (small group of potted plants), laundry, etc give me sanctuary from routine at work — also honestly give me excuse to reject some (unnecessary) invitation from (unwanted) people
this guilt will be difficult to go away i know
but i prefer losing compliments rather than losing my sanity
Nicely blur, dear heart It takes glasses to see you. Still you're nicely blur. What will the curtain disclose? I wish you a full figure.
let’s call it a week, welcome home
4-day intelligence exchange on a round table just makes me want to enjoy my weekend cooking, video calling with family and friends then reading my owed books
so blur even when these eyes see things clearly — sometimes it’s nice to be blur ☺️
Big picture, my love Everything and every one In one golden frame. Let this one story emerge. No eagle eye. Close that eye.
doing tribune tonight — everything looks small but that’s what big picture is about ♥️ amazing❣️
my current personal project is learning how to see the big picture of matters around me as i’ve been infected with a “disease” called “too much focused on details all my life” — being picky, the kacamata-kuda* type which is very nyebelin* ☺️
Keubitbit, Aceh in ethnic jazz Nusantara — fabulously amazing 💕 unfortunately my video is a whole song so might have violated copyright when uploaded and so marked as private — please enjoy the photos (stage and lighting brought the music performance to the next level)
let’s go back to the stage after the Maghrib/dinner break
Elfa’s Singers! Oh goodness I am back to young heart and full of love!!!
Ring of Fire
Ring of Fire is a permanent performer in Jazz Gunung as this group was started by the Jazz Gunung founders. Ring of Fire will collaborate with some guests in Jazz Gunung playing the music arranged in many different ethnic music genre in Indonesia. Ring of Fire has shown to many that ethnic music genre in Indonesia is so rich by itself and enriching what’s played through it.
this year is the 16th year of Jazz Gunung Bromo; can’t wait to celebrate its sweet 17 next year 😍
A hermit walks in To a cave in a market. His night's never dark, Day's never noisy. He's still When he moves or talks. Centered--
Today is about another batik prepared by Mbak Izzah for shipment from Jogjakarta to Singapore.
Batik Ciptoning
Ciptoning is a Javanese word composed of two: cipta or cipto and ning.
Cipta or cipto means thought, imagination, creativity.
Also….
It means to create or to manifest.
And….
The ning, ening, bening, wening means clear as of water, clear as of mind, quiet, serene.
So ciptoning can mean clarify the thought and imagination or creativity….
Or creating or manifesting in serenity or in clear mind or in quiet mind.
This batik pattern consists of ceplok (clusters) of geometry patterns formed by series of parang, wayang, gurdha (garuda) or wings pattern, bird and some isen-isen (repeated small dots or checks or lines to fill the space among all primary and secondary patterns).
I did talk about parang, gurdha and isen-isen in previous postings. Hope they still can be looked up, or else they should be googled. 😉
There are two wayang characters in the centers of the ceplok who are Begawan Abiyasa and Arjuna; one is the spiritual teacher, the other is the pupil. This is the scene when Begawan Abiyasa teaches Arjuna on how to complete a retreat. Once Begawan Abiyasa completes his task, he disappears and Arjuna has to start everything by himself. Yes, teacher will vanish when student is ready to jump alone — not needed anymore.
What does Begawan Abiyasa teach Arjuna to do?
A common retreat in Javanese tradition is a semedi or samadhi. The samadhi is usually conducted in a quiet, serene place and it is done by calming the mind, composing the body posture and focusing on nothing but the purpose of the retreat– can be anything including something, everything even nothing. That is what Begawan Abiyasa teaches him to do.
In wayang world a special retreat like this is normally done before a knight goes to a battle against raksasa or gandharwa that are representing evil energy of the world. Arjuna as a famous knight of his ability to survive a long retreat, his nature of complete human quality (including but not limited to naughtiness and ambition) and his high skills of warship; is assigned to spend from time to time for a retreat more often than his siblings; while Begawan Abiyasa is a maestro of spirituality in wayang world and so is trusted to guide a knight to face his impurity.
When doing a retreat, Arjuna uses a different name as he doesn’t want people to know that a royal family member is among the commoners doing a retreat. And that doing a retreat is a secret activity, he doesn’t want to be disturbed by commoners who want to take selfie with him. 😃
He is named Begawan Ciptoning.
Begawan can mean some: hermit, escatic, retreatant, recluse, solitaire, anchoret. In some way it can also mean maestro.
Ciptoning is to describe what Arjuna is doing during that period of hermitage. He is composing himself physically and mentally in serenity in order to achieve purity in his thought, imagination and creativity. He contemplates in silence among the crowd within himself, fighting against all distractions to survive the retreat and to finally get a clarity on how to manifest the everything or something or nothing that becomes his purpose of retreat.
Begawan Ciptoning will only end the retreat when The Undescribable blesses him with what is needed to go back to the “real world”, “to fight against the evil energy”.
When he is done with the retreat the begawan turns its meaning and value from hermit into maestro!
😳
Long story short please, Rike!
Batik Ciptoning is a special batik for those respected spiritually in Javanese early tradition. It was worn by those achieving certain levels of hermitage or having the quality of a spiritual maestro and so can provide guidance to others “lost” in the “search of meaning of life”. Those people shall go through repeated cycles like what Begawan Ciptoning has gone through with the guidance of Begawan Abiyasa.
It is now though worn by anyone who loves the pattern or one who prays that s/he is able to reach an enlightment in her/his own journey of life.
Gosh! My writing is broken pieces. Many to write but my thumbs need a retreat….
💕
my pieces of batik Ciptoning ready for delivery ♥️
I bring souvenirs Wrapped in a pouch made with love For you who's waited. This pouch might be forgotten, The fragrance's always missed.
—
a batik pouch to wrap an oleh-oleh for a friend — all is handmade by me, done in about 4 hours; no sewing machine, only a pair of sciccors, a ruler, thread and needle
tell me what makes us meditate better than doing things with love
the body part is cut from printed batik “Truntum”
the round base is cut from printed batik “Wahyu Tumurun” using a stainless-steel bowl as the pattern
the waste including some Hansaplast to close some small cut on my finger
Fragrance of sambac Ferries the wish to the love Reborn with new scents.
——
The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.
I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so — remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. 🥰 We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.
Yet….
reborn
not interested in talking in group except for work;
prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;
choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;
respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesn’t matter
still the same human being yet not the same anymore;
so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrue…. 💚
Life is mysteriously beautiful.
Thank You so very much!
Alfatihah.
my younger brother’s 1st son was a newborn death; my older brother’s sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 — wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck 💕😊 you’re (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! 💕💕😊
Have a seat, dear friends. Breathe this home before our chat. Leave the heat outside. Pages of shapes and colours, Tell them to bring their best selves.
——
Coffee table books are good to make guests relaxed before longer chat with me and at the same time to lay foundation of the chat. Not all guests visit me to chill out; some do to ask for help that might make it difficult for them to start a convo, so some flash reading can help them break the ice and sometimes for the host to loop back to the ice breakers when strategising to refuse unreasonable requests. 😉
Just fyi, some people don’t easily give up “selling misery to get a buy-in”, so be softly tough; one exquisite coffee table book might not even work.
I won’t, Beloved Take you from what completes you. Your here now is that, not this. This garden with lemongrass Is my here and now I love.
——
Ibu sent me this picture that she took by herself after forever saying “I can’t take good pictures like you, don’t ask me any” — 3 slices of some cake I bought online (sold through Twitter) and delivered directly to her ♥️
she said “thank you for the ‘spikoek’, it is amazingly yummy”
my mother’s love is so huge that i don’t realise like seeing a sheet of paper from 1 millimeter away 💕
i am enough with a few humble friends that truly understand me so i won’t anymore beg friendship from that not even wanting to know who i am 😁
There are steps prancing On a line between two worlds Within and without. Lotus shows celebration, Mud purification.
——
Twitter is getting louder and louder before election in Indonesia. Instagram is getting more and more showy with the holidays and parties coming.
I am happier not too much engaged with those two; Twitter is for me to keep abreast with political issues that help me make decision whom to vote in 2024 (I quit abstention this time after for the rest of my life) and Instagram is to tag and be tagged by family and friends. I am now even happier to have stopped stalking unnecessary accounts that made me scrolling and searching to gain nothing but sighs and shivers.
Only WordPress can hug me consistently warmly. Only WordPress can make me realise I have words to travel light, imagination to travel far, values and wisdom to travel with caution and good will to keep moving.
I am safe here.
💕
how warm and jazzy that place was; see you again, Jazz Gunung Bromo next year! I am happy to be part of your warmth and jazz! 🙏🏼
What’s romance, my love? Is roses stay in the branch With no disturbance. They’re unpicked until falling Gracefully kissing the earth.
——
Yogyakarta is one of the most romantic cities on earth, where life is automatically slowing down and love can be felt sweeter, simpler and longer; my friends said “the most romantic or the cheapest?” i said cheerfully “i love cheap things that make me happy including cheap friends, people with high maintenance cost please go away” 😄
Hello, my sweetheart. Is life still sweet and vibrant? Nes, said twisted tongue Who means yes but mixed with no. Making decision is wow.
—
Sweet is banana rice cake for breakfast and lunch. Should dinner be with the same? Please no. But where is thanksgiving if food is wasted? Sometimes good is not always good like this sweet banana rice cake that ends up as a dilemma. 💕
Lesson learnt: the karma of trying a full recipe is eating the same food the whole day without knowing to whom complaint shall be aired 😁
today’s banana rice cake! as sweet as a light heart 😘
A path to a place Is walked through trees and uphills. A meadow is waiting Opening another path To a warm home filled with love.
—
My friend sent me three photos of our beloved “simbah” (those senior people who are considered wise or those who have grandchildren) – Javanese). Most people call these simbah “batik maker” because they make batik to earn a living. We both call them “batik artist”. More than that through what we’ve seen and heard about them, we’ve considered they are artists of their life. How they embrace their humble life gracefully and consciously has always amazed both of us. They live like calm river flowing to the sea. They don’t struggle against what others think about or do to them. They live as if there is no hindrance and disturbance in life.
When my friend told me some things about those three honourable ladies, I secretly harvested some lessons. It is very critical reminder for me who is still very much attached to a feeling of (accidentally) underestimated and (slightly) humiliated because of one petty case. These three artists of life have silently told me to let go.
What a loud shot in a quiet weekend!
No apology is needed. All is gradually let go through my own wish and willingness. This is my life and I only want to be the artist of my own life. 💝
rike jokanan 
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